My wife died 10 months ago and so far all her clothes and possessions remain exactly as she left them. Somehow I just don’t envisage clearing any of it out; they’re her treasured items. My friends in a similar position have cleared everything out but to me that’s unthinkable.
Am i unusual in needing to keep my wife with me ?
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Everyone is different and i think the important thing is to do what feels right for you. As you know it’s about getting through this awful time as best we can. I did an initial clear of meaningless and old items and kept those that meant somthing for another time so that i could make decisions with a cleaner head. Take care.
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No your not. Its taken me almost 2 years to be able to let go of some of my beautiful gorgeous late wife sues clothes.take as long as you need to
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Not in the least unusual we all do things differently, I lost my wife on in March and have already donated most of her clothes etc to charity I have kept a few things such as her favourite coat a bobble hat she always wore these will hang where they are until I go then the kids can do whatever they like with them.
My son and daughter came up and took or told me what they wanted to keep and everything else has been donated to one charity or another the only thing I never did was put any of her things in black plastic bags for me it was to much like putting her life out with the refuse so I bought boxes and packed things as neatly as I could just me I suppose, but in no way was it easy and it brought on waves of grief.
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@Silver85 so sorry for your loss. As @JohnF says, we all do things differently. My love passed back on the 8th March. Like John, I have already taken most of my wife’s clothes to the charity shop of the hospice that looked after her.
I asked my children and grandchildren to take what they wanted first and then I chose some coats, a dress, shawls and also a bobble hat to treasure myself. The clothes, like John, were also put in boxes rather than the horrible black bags. I have one more box to take this week.
I chose to do this for a couple of reasons. Firstly, I intend moving back to 
in the next few months, almost certainly to a smaller house, so will need the room. The second and most important reason is that seeing her clothes is upsetting to me. She hasn’t been able to wear many of the clothes for quite a few years, indeed many of the items were brand new, still with labels on.
You have to do what you feel is best for you and not be concerned what others do.
Good luck
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No, not unusual at all. Do what is best for you. There is no rush. I’m just doing it a bit at a time. Still have lots of Andy’s things after a year and there will be some that I will always keep.
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I am not moving anything of my husbands things, they are part of him, and I have no idea of how or when I will be able to contemplate moving them. They hold our memories, so for the foreseeable future, they stay close with me. I miss him and love him so much, every day is a struggle to survive for me.
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Agree 100% with John, we are all different and do things our own way you take your time and and make your own judgment as to when it is the right time, it might be easier for you if you if you have family that could help you, trust me it is not an easy thing to do but most importantly only ever do what is right for you the depth of grief we all feel is the same but the way we cope with it is very personal.
I like John do not really have a choice as I will be downsizing and moving closer to family.
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Definitely not easy to do. I asked my daughter in law to pack the clothes in boxes.
She packed 2 a couple of weeks ago and there were a small number of clothes left. I put the boxes in the car and went to get the loose clothes to take them to the shop on hangars.
I couldn’t do it and burst into tears.
She came down on Saturday to pack the last up, so I can take them later in the week.
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My tears flow several times every day just have to think about H or I may be doing something that we used to do together and off I go cooking is a good one as we always used to cook together especially if there were onions involved as I was always chief onion peeler and chopper.
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I’ve had already had my 30 minutes of heavy crying this morning.
I usually have another bout around midday, when I would normally get her breakfast, which she always had late. My 2nd oldest granddaughter is coming to see me around that time, so I’ll have to try and control it until she leaves later.
Then I have many sobs as I endeavour to cook tea for one 
about 5 pm.
I know it’s wrong, but I then go to bed around 6.30 - 7, depending if I FaceTime with my son & family. I watch a movie or TV series on Amazon Prime until 9.30 and read some chapters of a book until 10, all with bouts of sobbing. Then try to go to sleep for 2-3 hour spells.
I get up at 6 and the cycle begins again.
I have noticed that my tears seem to be stronger, almost like as if a tap has been turned on 
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I do so empathise with @Flints but i did have much longer with my dear wife Alice. We were married for 63 years and grew up together so i have never known life without her.
Alice’s clothes and possessions give me great comfort and strength and even the house is part of it as we drew the plans and did much construction together.
I dead the emptiness removing her clothes would leave and she did have a lot more than me.
Thankyou to all who replied to my post; just the fact of communicating with another person has helped me.
Love you all.
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2 and a half years in…if my wife walked back in the door… everything is just as she left it… everything 
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As a PS;
Especially when i go out i wear one of my wife’s silk scarves so she is always with me and i think telling me what to do.
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I would say that it was my pleasure to help in some small way but there is no pleasure to anything we feel, where life used to consist of a series of mutual decisions we now have to make all the decisions alone but always with the past in the back of our minds such is the influence of the partner we lost.
For me it was 52 years of total love H was 15 when we met and that was it a lifelong partnership which unfortunately was cruelly ended by cancer at age 66.
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My husband has been gone nearly 6 months now and I still have everything, his toothbrush head is on the sink and his shower ball hangs in the shower.
Everything is still in its place from the day he walked out the door to go see the doctor.
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I lost my husband just over 2yrs ago. I am only now beginning to slowly sort some things out. I think you need to do what feels the right time for you .
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So sorry for your loss. You’re right. Do things when it’s right for you.
While we are all sadly suffering a loss, there is no right or wrong way to grieve.
You take care
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Bar 64 .i lost my gorgeous beautiful late wife sue 2 years ago and have only just been able to start sorting out her clothes.some i can’t let go off
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Hi.I am just the same as you.My husband died 12 months ago and I still have all his clothes.I don’t feel any inclination to get rid of them yet.It’s too hard.
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