So sorry to hear you have been having a bad time. It must be hard to keep the emotions in all day. I find its when I have to retell my story to someone new that’s when the tears come. I cried at the till in Asda yesterday. I have now managed to sort out Geoff’s clothes and taken them to the Charity. (Kept a few things obviously) My car is going into the garage next week to be repaired, so I will be stuck indoors for three days. I thought I might do some decorating - haven’t done any by myself for 40 years. Bought some tester pots today. Will see if I am up to it on Monday.
It’s still too early to predict how we will be feeling the next day, so I am still going one day at a time. Thinking of everyone on here and wishing you all a restful night.
Hi Yvonne
God well done going through Geoffs clothes I haven’t even went anywhere near George’s clothes . George worked in the coop so evertime I have to go in I see the folk he worked with so I put my head down and just keep going till I get back out .l try Yvonne to go day by day as you are but I find my self so overwhelmed and like you the tears come .my son is coming up to help me do somethings in the house I want to change so I’ve ordered new bedroom furniture wallpaper bedding just want to change it not to forget George but I think for me I need to do this .
I’m also getting a dog we had a dog that died 12 years ago and I spoke to my kids and they said they think it’s a great idea it’s coming home to so much emptiness that I can’t stand .
Good luck with the decorating well done you .big hugs to you and all on the forum
Lily
Thank you Eileen, it does help.
I thought “why is this happening, I still love and miss him so much”
Thank you for letting me know that I am not loosing him completely, fingers crossed that it clears soon x
Thank you everyone for your reassuring comments.
Its really good to have people to talk to who are experiencing the same. Keep helping each other. It means a great deal.
Thanks x
Hi sorry for your loss my Husband passed in December after 56years marriage I seemed to cope but have been told by a counseller I was in shock and now I am grieving and like you the longing to see Colin is so bad my body seems to ache and I keep saying have you really gone,It is the loneliness that is so bad , Take care My thoughts are with you ,Love Pammi xx
Hi everyone,
It’s so good to talk here and know you all understand.
I too keep saying I can’t believe he’s gone. It was only 3 months after his diagnosis that my Paul passed away in January . I keep expecting him to come back and I save things to tell him. It’s such a desperate shock to realise I’m on my own now. It’s all so cruel, he was only 60 and just retired.
Sorry I can’t offer anything positive except we all need to help eachother,
I wish I could say ‘yes’ but sadly, the answer is ‘no’. My husband died last June but I am nowhere near feeling any better. The loneliness drives me crazy, and I seem to be just existing from day to day. Sorry I couldn’t say anything to cheer you up, Carera. Warm regards. Eileen xx
Thanks for your reply Eileen. Im sorry its all so rubbish. My husband died in October and I still cant believe it’s real.
You’re right. The loneliness is unbearable. It’s not like any other feeling, its just complete and utter emptiness.
I have nothing cheery to say either.Sorry xx
Hello everyone, I hope you are all muddling through as best as possible.
I’d like to know, after putting on a brave face for so long, how do I finally admit that I am not coping, I’m actually falling apart.
I want to appear strong but I can’t keep this charade up.
Has any one dropped the facade? and how?
I have found with some people ( including family) you always have to keep up the brave face, for their sake. They don’t know how to deal with grief. It makes them uncomfortable. You just have to mumble you’re ok and talk on a surface level. The only people you can be yourself with are people who ‘have been there’ and understand or professionals such as Counsellors and Therapists who allow you to talk and say exactly how you feel.
That’s how I’m dealing with it and I am so thankful we can ‘tell it like it is’ on this site.
Thanks Yvonne, I’ve not been to any counsellors, therapists or doctors. Would you recommend them?
I find talking on this site helps, as you all know exactly how it is.
I have kept a brave face for family and some friends but it seems to be more difficult to do this, each day.
My husband died in October (after 35 years of marriage) and things dont seem any better now than they did then.
Sorry to whinge on. Take care x
It has been the same length of time for me. Geoff passed unexpectedly in October.
My close family made it clear that they wanted me to ‘move on’ and so I very rarely tell them how I am feeling. I didn’t want to get a counsellor because I didn’t want to keep going over my story but some others on here have found them useful. I chose a hypnotherapist and she really helped me with all the different feelings (pain,sadness,fear) She gave me some tools and techniques to use whenever these feelings come on and emphasised the importance of breathing correctly. Since seeing her I have also found meditation on You Tube very useful.
I think we will find life a challenge for some time to come so sharing our thoughts with others on this site who understand will help us.
So sorry you feel so bad. I’ve found that the brave front just puts off the grief. The counsellor has told me to cry when I need to. It means I can only do it when I’m on my own at home but I do feel the weight lifts a bit afterwards.
I still can’t believe Paul has gone , I keep thinking he’s just out for a while and I’ll be able to tell him things when he gets back.
Keep writing here, I hope it will help,
X Chris
Hi everyone haven’t been for a while.i lost my Clive in November.it was 4 months yesterday since he had to leave.theres not a day goes by that I don’t cry for my Clive but I cried even more yesterday that I lost our little dog bear as well.people keep saying he’s with Clive now having cuddles,I just feel like I can’t take anymore sorry that I feel this way hugs to everyone
It might sound strange but I write to my husband every day, telling him what I would have said to his face. (obviously I don’t post it, or expect a reply) I don’t know if it helps or not.
Talking to people here definitely helps. Thanks
Thanks Yvonne, I will look on You Tube.
I had read that swimming helps too,It clears the mind and gives you a calming feeling, but as yet, its been too cold to think of getting in to a swimming costume! So I can’t verify that one.
I’m really sorry to read your post. Life is cruel. Please try to be strong, I know it must be really hard.
I cant say anything positive except that we are all here for you. Keep talking x
Hello June C. Today is my first day in the community on line. I have just read your post from January and it is almost a carbon copy of my life. My husband of 50 wonderful years died in June following a traumatic and sudden cancer. I am finding life very hard going at the moment. In the beginning it was not like it is now. I have friends and family who say it’s early days. But they are not the one who is alone and feels like crying through deep sadness because my husband is no longer here. I wondered how you are now and how you have managed to cope with life since January. It is awful now, friends have gone back to their loved ones and children think mum is ok because they are getting on with their lives. I am trying to find ways of coping but it’s really hard and I wondered how you have got on. Thank you.