Coping with Christmas when I have to plan my sons funeral

Losing a child
1

My 7 year old is just trying to carry on as normal since my son died 1 week ago. She insisted that we put the tree up tonight and broke my heart by saying, ‘Conor usually lifts me up to out the star on the tree as he was the tallest.’ I had to stop and walk away crying.
We also went to the shops and I saw some stockings to go under the fire place. As I picked them up I realised that they had initials on and got one each for my girls feeling guilty that my son is not here to need one. When we got to the till, my daughter shouted out , ‘why have you only got two stockings instead of three?’ I just froze and couldn’t speak and just looked at her. She then remembered that her brother was gone and said, ‘ Oh yeah I know. ‘ this makes me wonder if she has really processed that he is not coming back .

1 Like
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She’s actually helping you through this without both of you realising!It’s tough for both of you,I know and she’s desperately missing her big brother as much as you are missing your son but I think youngsters approach these things differently,they are much more matter of fact.Try and follow her lead! x

3

I think it can take weeks or even months to process that a loved one has gone, so it might even more difficult for a child.
There are several grief books on the market aimed at children.

4

Sorry, I forgot to say sorry for you loss. My Mum passed away 8 weeks ago and I have foggy thinking.

5

Hi Donna

I am so sorry to see that you recently lost your son
Many of us are on here because we suddenly lost our mums and, as devastated as I am, I cannot imagine how awful you must be feeling. I have a 12 year old daughter that I adore, and as lost as i am without my mum, the order of her passing is correct. Mum could never have coped if something happened to me or her grandchildren.
Please take all the help you can at this terrible time. And remember, dont try to be strong for your children. Children can cope with grief and trying to hide it from them wont work. Let the tears come when they need to. It will help you in the long term.
Talking on this site is a real comfort to those of us who regularly do, so come on here whenever you need to.
There are also many people on here who have also lost children. You can find them under the correct category.
Cheryl x

6

I am so sorry, that you have lost your son.

My very best wishes and peace,
MaryL