SadGirlfriend
I hope you found some enjoyment from your catch up with your friend. I went out with friends for a curry and wine last night too. Although mine was only recently planned and was due to my bereavement. But I did enjoy it even though I was still sad my husband wasn’t with me. I have a larger outing tomorrow to a place my husband was in with everyone last year. I am hoping I don’t cry - if not I will consider it a good day.
Hate being one half of a couple.
Thanks, I did enjoy myself, we always do and we talk about everything. Too much to drink, though and hangover today!
Tough day for you and me both tomorrow; I also have an event to attend in Steve’s honour, it’ll be tricky. I hope you manage to find some enjoyment in yours.
SadGirlfriend,
Glad you enjoyed it and I had too much to drink too. But sometimes it’s needed. Good luck tomorrow. I have no idea what else to say other than to be extra kind to yourself tomorrow. Whatever happens is ok.
Ilovehorses.Sorry for your loss.I really am.Nobody understands the utter desolation that is within you 24/7.The sadness ,the yearning to see him,hold his hand,have a gentle peck on the cheek or hear his voice.I want to talk about my darling husband every minute I am awake ,to anyone that will listen.Trouble is.No-one knew him like me,so no-one understands the depth of sadness and yearning I feel.There is no hope,no joy and everything I do no longer has a meaning.
I am sick of hearing ,he is out of pain -true he is.He is in a better place -rubbish,his better place was here with me and his family.Maybe you should try volunteering at a care home or a charity shop- No I don’t want to, my patience died with him.I say the F word in my head all the time and I just know I would tell people to go F**k yourself.Try moving on and remember the good times.Remembering the good times I find intensely painful and I cry. Finally find a hobby,it will occupy your mind-No,it won’t I can’t settle to anything.All I want is my old life back.Him,Him and him.
I am still deeply in love with my husband.I am heartbroken.I am old,tired and bereft.I wouldn’t wish this new life on my worst enemy.
Keep safe and well xx
Understand,
I lost my partner of ten years in April.
As I have had other previous experiences I have been able to start putting a few moves in place. Painful though , like yesterday I went out for a meal on my own to a lovely pub haven’t been to in ages. It took some deliberation …like "what’s the point? " … Well the point is that even in a happy couple going out… "what’s the point?'… I mean " what’s the point of anything? " So with that In mind I went !! And it was nice . In actual fact the only other time I had been was when I was kinda single and was on my own as well. Grief is a personal thing, you’ll know when it’s time your life is very precious too . Sending hug❤️
Dear tearful,
Everything you said resonated with me. I hate when people say he is at peace or worse when they say he would want you to go out etc. I want him to be here to tell me to go out, not think that’s what he would say. I think it’s probably good that you don’t say anything as people don’t know. Even people that have a similar experience can empathize but grief is a very individual experience. Sending hugs.
Xxx
Aw … sorry to hear that i hope you are ok im same - seem to have has one thing or another since i lost my husband … grief takes a toll on our bodies for sure !! Take care and let us know how you get on wont you xx
Dear Ilovehorses,
Not sure if you were replying to me but thanks for your post either way. Hope you are ok and get the medical help you need. Will be sending positive thoughts.
You are so right that grief takes a toll. I feel so weary and struggle to do things. I find it hard to be around whose lives seem fine. Being around happy people or too many is too much for me.
I am so grateful for this forum and for everyone who shares. I know it’s not easy but I take a little comfort others are feeling similar to me.
Like Deb said - let us know you get on
Take care
X
Oh no !! Recently i had bursitis which was so painful and they asked me to go to a&e and i refused ! Said not sitting 12 hours in hospital … so out of hours dr rang me and saw GP next day …but.youre there now ! Might as well wait now xx
Hi there,
Just tell them there’s no time limit on grief.
None of our relationships with others are identical, so why should your grief conform to other people’s idea of what you should be doing?
I’ve lost a lot of people in my life, but one death I’m still processing is the loss of my best friend when I was 17. That was nearly 40 years ago. I still dream about him.
Ilovehorses
It is good that you called. You are getting tests. I know it’s frustrating but sounds like you are in the right place. Take deep breaths. Keep us posted.
X
I know 111 are a bit of a nuisance tbh … youre nearly there though ! Good luck xx
It’s horrible all this stress and anxiety.I hope you settle down soon and your health improves.It’s good it’s nothing worse though take care and look after yourself.x
So glad for you.
This journey we’re on is certainly stressful
No wonder you ended up at A&E
I tend to ignore symptoms, I suppose thats wrong too, but I put everything down to stress
Take care x
Ilovehorses
I certainly agree especially with it takes a toll on our minds. I met my husband late in life and thought I have the rest of my life with him. But that didn’t happen. How do you get over losing your soulmate especially when it’s far too soon. I won’t but it’s hard to try and carry on too.
Ilovehorses
I may be able to feel the same way about owing it to my partner to live a life that can’t. But I am not there yet. It’s only been 2 months since he died and I feel like I am only just starting to feel his loss now.
But thanks for sharing. Everyone is on a different journey so good to hear from others. I feel that is how we can help each other
Blake
Very true and maybe you can’t move on just yet. But that’s fine. I certainly can’t do don’t feel like you have to. It’s ok whatever you are feeling.
Just keep trying to share or at least read the comments from others if you aren’t up to sharing.
Be gentle with yourself
I agree … but its so very tough some days without them having your back ! Thats what i miss the most that support and belief in you … not many people have that do they only that person so close to you gives you that xx
Hi my mum died at the end April and already I seemed to have reached the point where everyone tells me to accept the past and it what we all have to face at our age. Coping with the comments I just shrug and take one step and then another to the end of the day when I collapse.