Coping with the loss

Had a really bad day today. 24 weeks since Husband Peter died. Thought I was doing quite well until realisation set in that it was almost 6 months ago my whole world shattered. I have cried virtually all day and can’t settle to do anything. Really don’t know what to do with myself. He always said how strong I was, coping with everything since he became ill and others say the same about me coping since it happened. However, nobody sees my bad days and believe me they are very long, lonely days. Hugs and Love to everybody suffering as I am. Moira xx


Hi Moira I feel exactly the same as you although it’s been longer for me it’s been 15 months for me but it’s still painful. As people say it gets easier but I disagree I think what really happen is you just learn to live with it . It’s the loneliness that I find the hardest anything you want to do anywhere you want to go you have to do it alone ,or latch onto someone else . All the friends Rob and I had are still as a couple and are getting on with their lives , I don’t get text messages , the only phone call I get is from Robs mum every Sunday.
Take care and find comfort in this site xx Karen xx


Hi, yes it doesn’t get easier, it just gets a new normal, it’s 19 months for me, some days it’s almost bearable other times it’s over whelming. I was told as I was leaving work, I had outstanding holidays, so I am off tomorrow, I would rather be at work, now I will rattle around an empty house, my mind will.wander, and the loneliness will return and intensify . This site brings some comfort, but at the same time , it saddens me , to think , so many are grieving.
Take care.


Hi Pete and Kazzer yes there are many of us grieving but at times one feels that they are the only one. My concern now is how do I get through Christmas? I don’t want to put up the tree or cards. Peter loved this time of year but he is not here to enjoy it now so what is the we point? xx

I put tree up for Granddaughter, but her Mum( my step daughter) and dad , have fallen out, havnt seen Granddaughter, for 3 weeks, and she will be with her Dad, in a different part of the country for Christmas. So it feels like I should not have bothered. At least my son, from previous relationship, is having Christmas Dinner, with me( he recently split with his girlfriend). Just hope we can all get through what will be a difficult time.
Take care.

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I have been invited to go to Southern Ireland with my son and his wife to her parents for Christmas (if COVID allows). Only problem Peter won’t be with us. We are ready to go but it will rely on the tests the day before we fly.

Don’t think Covid, will stop the journey. Peter, will be there in spirit, he will always be with you, at least in your heart, for always. It’s an escape from current surroundings, try to enjoy as best you can, sure your Peter would want that.
Take care.

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Oh Moira. I feel much the same as you. It’s 24 weeks on Saturday for my beloved Derek. I have no answers and I can barely function. People say I’m strong - but they are so wrong. They say memories will comfort me, but I’m finding I don’t want to remember - it hurts too much. I can’t bear to look at photographs either. I’m thinking of you Moira. Take care, Jacquie xx

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I am sure you are right but it is convincing my brain that is the problem. Thank you for your support

Take care Moira

Hi Jacque. I have several photos of Peter dotted around and find them comforting. I cry a lot when I look at them but I am frightened that I will forget how she looked. I don’t ever want to forget him, I loved him so much. I have his ashes here too. At least I feel that part of him is still with me. Take care xx

I know how you feel,it has been 4 years for me,it gets a little easier, to cope day by day,but it does not go away i am afraid to say,and the love certainly lives on,keep going and try to remember the good times,not easy I know,but we must soldier on.

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Hi it is 5 months since my husband passed so I know how you feel I am the same as you had to do every thing whilst my husband was poorly so my daughter cannot understand why cannot do any thing my brain is not functioning it is like mush I feel very lonely everyone have there own live & feel like a spear part

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Hi Mo
I too know how you feel, it’s 11 months since my Jeff went. Most of the time I’m ok but had a bad day on Sunday, crying, will it ever stop? I cannot put up decorations or cards, Jeff loved Christmas but it’s so sad for me now. Will be with family for Christmas but oh how I wish he was still here. Thinking of everyone on here who has lost their love.

Hi Moria
I know exactly how you feel. I am in the same position as you but I have no family around me and I am so lonely. My husband Peter passed away last year too.
I feel your pain.
Take care & stay safe and all the best to you. Luv Joan xx

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My lovely husband Ken passed away 5 weeks ago and over the last week I can’t stop crying. I miss him so much and I also have no family to be with at this time. I think it is because i have been busy over the last few weeks and that has kept me occupied.

Like a lot of you Christmas was my favourite time of the year and now not looking forward to spending it without Ken. So lost and lonely

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Mine is not losing a partner but losing my mum. 6 months ago. And I, like you, thought I was doing good. I think that this time of year and obviously the first Christmas is going to be really hard. All I can say is if you need to cry then cry. Let the tears flows but remember the good times and the good memories. At the moment it may not seem like it but in time we learn to live with our loved ones in a different way. That takes time. Today my 2 daughters and I are visiting my mum’s grave. She loved ferreros so we are taking some to ‘share’ with her. I know it may sound silly but it will help. Maybe you could find something that helps you too. Sending you love

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So very sorry to hear of your sadness, I can’t offer you any advice only to say I know how you feel having lost my darling Harry in October I miss him so much, I really know all about the tears you are shedding it’s heartbreaking God Bless you .

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This tiny part of humanity sends you warmth and compassion. It is all around you. Step on, we are your path .

Oh my goodness your story says exactly like mine, I’m nearly 5 months in this awful journey.
I had an absolutely horrendous day on Sunday and like you people don’t see that. I get told how well I’m doing and how strong I am. My husband said the same to me, how strong I was but he knew I would be able to put my business head on to deal with practical stuff but it’s the emotional stuff and reality and loneliness that I struggle with. I see my friends and children/grandchildren but no one can fill my husband’s place…we were together for 49 years and married for 45 years.
I hope your days improve and your feeling more at ease. This Christmas is going to be hard isn’t it…be kind to yourself and take care.

Hi my husband passed away 5 months ago I’m still finding it very hard to come to terms with it we did. everything together I can’t go out as I’m suffering from anxiety disorders and PTS due to the traumatic he left us, I can’t let my feelings out as there are children here and some of my older children say I should be over it now but they don’t understand what I’m going through.

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