I honestly don’t know how much more communication with the coroners I can take anymore.
It seems each time I’m just about coping they end up contacting me asking me questions and tell me their plans, which sets me back to the day I found out that my Mum had passed. Like I am losing her all over again.
I was at work today and found myself at hospital due to recieving an email regarding the inquest which is happening next month which made the chest pains I’ve had since losing her worse. I was sent home due to struggling to function.
They sent me a statement of their findings and went through all the tests with graphical details included.
It included the cause of death but still they’ve to have the inquest hearing, I just find it so unnecessary to keep dragging it on and to even hold the inquest when they have their answers
In the early days they told me that they had taken blood and urine samples and would do a ct scan and that took a while, then they told me they’d need to do a limited post mortem as the ct scan didn’t show anything and the toxicology results would take up to 8 weeks to come back.
It was so distressing thinking about them travelling her body here, there and everywhere and doing these things. In my mind I just wanted them to leave her alone and allow her to be put to rest. It was so upsetting hoenstly.
My Mum passed 4 months ago now and things are still ongoing, I just want it to be over with now then I can grieve properly and in peace.
Also every time they’ve got a message for me they start the conversation off as “hope you’re well” what is that all about of course I’m not well the dimwits.
Sorry they just seem so insensitive to what I’m going through and also at the start they spoke to me like I was dumb, as I’d ask them to repeat what they were saying as I was writing it down and they were like “what part don’t you understand” and the tone in their voice was so patronising.
As for the hosptial they did a ecg on me which was normal so they sent me home, I just feel like no one wants to help me
@Jess1, I have just read your post and am so sorry that you are having to go through such nonsense. After four months, you should have been able to put your dear mother to rest.
I hope someone in charge soon sees sense and uses their common sense and ends this stupidity.
Sending hugs xx
Oh I do apologise my mum has been put to rest! I was going back to the time when she passed as it was a waiting game and that’s all I wanted for her at the time.
It’s just the investigations are still ongoing and it’s so stressful x
It is stressful I’ve just had my husbands. The actual inquest was less stressful than all of the waiting to attend. I know that once it’s done you’ll feel much better and be able to move on. I now realise they have a job to do and do it to protect people. I do hope it’s sorted soon c
Hi, it’s so awful when your grief is triggered in this way. I feel exactly the same when the DWP write to me about my Mum’s pension credit. Just seeing her name on the letter and because they ask me for information I have to go through all her things again… I’m the Executor of her will and I just want it all to be over. I hope the inquest will eventually bring some closure, at least it should be an end to the coronor’s emails… Best wishes xx
I don’t understand why they need to keep dragging it out. I’m sick of being sad every single day but when I got that email it was like I lost her all over again it sent my emotions all over.
I made the decision not to attend the inquest to spare myself the pain with having to listen to all the details but they sent them me in writing anyway
Hi Jess, sorry you are having to go through an inquest, that must be so stressful is preventing you from making some kind of progress with your grief and try and come to terms with the huge loss.
I also had chest pains after I lost my mum and i was so worried i was developing a heart condition but speaking to the doc he said it was physical symptoms of stress so prescribed me some beta blockers. The pain went very quickly after taking them so just wanted to let you know it’s totally normal and that you can get something to help with that. X
For some reason I have been thinking about my own fatality and worrying about it ever since, which doesn’t make any sense seen as I wake up disappointed every day that I actually woke up
I have been given beta blockers but I don’t like taking tablets all the time, I was on anti depressants for a while before all this happened and came off them but the withdrawl was horrendous.
What I can’t understand is there’s a cause of death on the notes so why is the inquest still going ahead could they be more to it x
Just found this webpage which may explain things a bit more x
Yes, I completely understand and emphasise. I guess there’s a legal reason that you have to receive a written copy of the inquest documents. Hopefully that’s the end of them contacting you, because it’s so painful having to keep reliving it all. Take care xx
DWP are disgusting! I understand they have a job to do but if they owe people money it’s not a rush. Over payment letter for Mum not even a week later “ condolences for your loss “ 2nd paragraph after reviewing account we have estimated we have over payed and will be seeking X amount dated from the date she passed. You have 7 days to make payment.
Can we not even process her loss?
@Charlotte74 that is outrageous!! Was it an overpayment of pension by any chance? I had this but didn’t read anything about 7 days, plus you don’t have any choice but to pay it out of your own money unless you have probate which obviously won’t be very quick. Really insensitive and unreasonable to expect payment so soon but it also doesn’t surprise me😡
I had something similar, my mum got paid her carers allowance after she passed but they asked me if I needed the money towards the funeral costs which is what I used it for so I told them and they put a note on the system and wrote it off x
@BrackObama she got help from the DWP with her council tax but actually getting her Finicial help didn’t take 7 days . It may sound silly but writing condolences absolutely made my blood boil when the contents of the letter was threatening. Shame on them
I know what you mean all the contact I have regarding my Mum always starts off as “hope you’re well” and it’s like what do you bloody think
Thoughtless and really need to be revised. It’s hard enough opening a letter that’s regarding a lost loved one
I remember when my Grandad passed my grandma recieved a letter about a overpayment that she had to pay back with her own money, it’s disgraceful x
I hate the first lines of the letter “we are sorry to hear that Mrs.X has died”. Even though it’s correct, it’s really hard to read.
As someone else said, it’s the Sadmin that’s very upsetting to have to do when you are in the pits if despair and sadness. Everyone just bog off with your patronising letters!
Yes, the DWP letters are the worst… I had no idea that once probate has been approved they were given the details. I’ve now had 3 letters about my Mum’s pension credit. Every time it’s like a knife in the heart… The last one asked me for copies of paperwork so I had to go all through my Mum’s things again… I know they have a job to do but it’s a crazy system that hounds grieving relatives about their loved ones eligibility for money. Xx
As soon as you do the ‘ tell us once ‘ the letters start.
The registrar wanted to do it when we registered her death but legally you have a month which is good to know