Hi Debbie!
Magnificent!!! Just wonderful. Are they fragrant? So many today aren’t because they’ve been ‘created’ for the look rather than the perfume. When I was little I picked all the rose labels in my neighbours garden, collecting them like tickets with my friend. He was furious! Don’t blame him. They were very expensive and he obviously took a lot of care over them. He knocked at the house and I hid behind mam. She tried giving him his labels but he couldn’t exactly put them back on. I blamed my friend!
Your cat is huge. Reminds me of my grandma’s cat Scruff. He was very feisty and would attack if anyone stopped stroking him. Even grandma was scared. He was a stray and she’d rescued him.
Enjoy your weekend. Going to be sunny.
Lots of love xxx
Nothing like a steaming litter tray to wake you up in the morn!
Hi Christine.
Sorry that you’re not feeling great again but the positive is that you know you will have better/good days as well and they will get more and more in time. Sadly we will continue to have crap days too. I had a bit of anxiety creep in yesterday so phoned Samaritans and helps keep it at bay.
I wish the creep would bugger off once and for all and that would give you so much more freedom especially at this time of year .
I’m at my show today at the Royal Albert Hall. Even though it’s going to be a very exciting show, it’s still tinged with some sadness because it was one of the last venues I visited when Mum was still here. Only about 3 weeks before it happened. Little did I know then how my life would change then.
Will hopefully post some pics later.
Hope you can get through the day as best as you can and remember we are here for you and are looking out for you
Sending love and best wishes
Neil x
Morning all.
I hope this weekend is kind to you all. I’m taking my eldest to watch the new Jurassic world later on today. She’s very excited.
Been a bit of an up and down week this week. But will be nice later to spend some quality time with my big girl. The youngest is going to her dads. She’s not been sleeping well so I hope she behaves tonight!
I hope your show goes well Neil and that you enjoy it.
I spent yesterday decorating a wooden box my sister found for me so I can put mums ashes and hair and other little bits in. I’ll post a picture. I’m not very good at crafts at all but I like it and hope mum would too.
Sending you all lots of love and think of you all
Nic xxx
Hi Nic
The box is lovely, you have done a good job, make your mum proud.
Hope you both enjoy Jurassic Park, can’t do this weekend try to get there next weekend.
Debbie X X
Hi Nic
How lovely . It’s a beautiful box. You’ve given me some inspiration to do something similar. Really like it.
Hope you enjoy the Jurassic World film . Hope you haven’t seen the bad reviews it’s been getting . Will be interested to find out your thoughts on the film. After all who doesnt like dinosaurs ? 
.
It’s the escapism that we all need as I get from my shows. Just for those few hours at least things can look a bit brighter and we can escape our lives .
Speak soon and will hopefully post some pics later.
Love and best wishes
Neil x
Hi Neil,
I was going to do something else with them but thought actually I want to keep some here with me. The box has got some pressed flowers I picked the day we scattered her ashes and some stones the kids collected for her. I’ll put our old dogs collar tag in there too and just personal bits. It’s like my own personal box of mum. Then when I go I want it to come with me. So she’ll never be able to escape me! It just felt right for me and it’s brought me a little comfort.
I’ve not seen the bad reviews! I love the films so I’m sure for real fans it’ll be good but I’ll let you know.
Love Nic xxx
Thank you Debbie. I’m really crap at crafts. Mum and my sister are/were really good at making things. But I like my box. Hope the film is good!
Love Nic xxx
@nicnic the box is beautiful 
. When Mum was cremated she had a letter from me with her and I put a lock of my hair in there and they got me some locks of her hair so she can’t escape me either!! A friend within days of mum’s passing sent me a white memory box and one of the first things to go in was mum’s everyday, worn down and frankly stinky shoes 
@christine51 thank you for your kind words, you are a total love! I wish I could come down and sort the creep out. What an asshat! Perhaps a moat…with piranhas?? Hope this weekend is good to you
@NEILB72 mum and I loved our London theatre trips but I’ve never been to the Royal Albert Hall surprisingly.
My friend is certainly special! She didn’t stop last night as she is getting over a bug so headed home for a bath, is babysitting a friends autistic son this morning and heading back over this afternoon and stopping tonight.
Yesterday she came in “have you called the doctors?” Me “no”. So she made me phone, as usual the receptionist was no you have to call at 8am etc. friend takes phone off me and just takes on this amazing authority voice “my friend needs an extended appointment, x, y, z.” And boom I have a face to face, double appointment with my GP next Friday 
Sending everyone a Saturday squeeze 
Beki x
Hi Beki
This is only my second time at the Royal Albert Hall . Last time was just before Mum passed. I think she went there a few times in her younger days x
Have a wonderful visit @NEILB72. I have driven passes it - the venue is a piece of art in itself
I have been in the front garden today
Before
After
Breather now and recharge phone
Been watching the Midwich Cuckoos on tv
Beki x
Hi Neil,
You are right that the better days will start to become more often than not. It let me see that I can be happier (or at least not overwhelmed with sadness - a strange emptiness more than anything) and not feeling guilty that it was in some way disrespectful towards mam. She would have been very sad that I’ve been so distraught. I think also the situation with my family has made mam’s leaving so much harder than if I had a supportive family to seek reassurance and comfort from. Instead I’m battling on all fronts and desperately wanting mam. I’m glad you turn to the Samaritans when you need that little boost. You’re very good at monitoring your mood and taking action to balance it.
Just had a panic in the garden. Been out there for a while because the creep went out. Was just having a sit down with a berry smoothie (yum) and a puzzle book (mam’s fave) after cutting more leaves off the fig tree so that the fruit will ripen and not just drop off (first time I’m trying it). Realised I was being watched bu the creep who was watching me through the hedge. Only knew he was there (don’t know for how long) because of his white tee shirt. I ran in and locked the door, went straight to the bedroom and he had the cheek to go to the front of house and shout something (couldn’t make it out) which was obviously towards me because there’s noone out there. I really have to set up my cameras so it will alert me when he arrives in his van. I have running water in the ponds with two fountains and a waterfall so it drowns out the noise from the front. He obviously does not like the fact that when I see him I run in and lock the door. I’m just glad I got some of today out there before I start on emptying, cleaning and refilling the fish tank nasty job). I think he’s so desperate to talk to me that he is offended that I refuse to even be out there when he is at home. What woman would want to breath the same air as him? So I’m stuck in now but have booked swimming with my niece tomorrow so really looking forward to it. Had to use a group booking on the site. Will prob join and get membership for us both because it’s £40 a month (so £10 a week) and one swim is £7.10 for 50 mins. Means I can start swimming again a few times a week over the summer and autumn.
I know you will be thinking of your mam because of the venue but this is another hurdle you are facing. She wouldn’t want you to not go and enjoy it. She’d be so proud of what you have achieved. I am certainly proud of you. I wish I could be more pro active in my grief. Feels like I’m making a start though.
Enjoy the performance. Here’s some pics of my hard work and the cats lounging in the sunshine. Was a little overcast but glorious now that creepy bollocks has come back.
my very old flat wheeled wheelbarrow I still drag around the garden (have to drag it because the wheel won’t roll)
added more arches to extend the height and entrance into the new ‘room’ where the old shed was
have to repair arches to small pond. Will add obelisks on the corner and tidy up growth
Candelabra have started flowering
![DSCN5920|375x500]
(upload://4VCcC0pMbYkZWnSAbwkfBjuTdop.jpeg)
and my first climbing
Finished potting on plug plants into individual pots ready to be placed for planting out
Trimmed back overhanging roses and jasmin. Nice to see through one room into another
Tidied the shaded archway with a sofa for the cats
Removed the netting to let the nasturtians roam free
Green beans are growing on
Bulbs rescued and dried to be put away
Sleeping baby overhead (so elegant!)
Roses over pergola
My little Porscha winking
Funny feet
Fig tree leaves removed to expose fruit to light. Just hope they don’t all drop off
Spring pansies still flowering, though past their best
Patio now has a lot more light
Sleeping beauty
Can’t wait to see your pics Neil. Enjoy it babe.
Lots of love xxx
Hi Nic,
That is very pretty. I’m sure your mam would be impressed. If you wanted to add some sparkle you can get all sorts of flower shapes which just stick on (Hobbycraft, The Works, Pound shop etc). It would be a nod to eternal life in the light reflected. But what you have done captures the essence of a bygone age, with the muted colours and old florals. Nostalgic. Very fitting for your mam. I still haven’t got mams ashes yet for my little egg but I do have a small lock of her hair in there. You could add a favourite photo, hand written letter from your mam to you if you have one and one from you to her. It is just so sad that our mams can’t last forever. I’m starting to cry again. You have done a wonderful job Nic and I’m very proud of you. Your mam will be and the girls too. They could do a little something to add to the box. I’m pleased it’s big enough to house more than just a photo. You’ll be able to add things over time, let mormor know how you are getting on. Some pressed flowers from the garden would be nice. Just dry them flat between 2 sheets of white paper weighted down with really heavy books. You can buy a basic flower press for children. Might be nice for the girls to do seasonally.
I’m dreading getting mams ashes because of the situation with my dad. He still hasn’t phoned me and I won’t bother him but I do want some of my mam. Will be so distressing. How are you feeling? Mixed I can imagine. But you now have her with you forever. She’ll never leave you again. And when your time comes your girls can add you in with your mam so you are together forever. I want to be sprinkled with mam in her parents grave up north.
Just posted a load of pics from my garden to Neil so hope they lift you a bit. The creep came back and was watching me so I had to come in. So annoying because he doesn’t even sit out there unless I’m there or it’s sunny.
Just a thought, you could paint your mams bench her favourite colour. Mam loved lilac. Your box reminded me. Mams are so special. They aren’t truly appreciated for who they are until they aren’t with us. I just wish I could tell her she is my world and without her I’m empty.
You are lucky to be seeing the new Jurassic film. Enjoy it!
Lots of love xxx
Hi Beki,
You have a wonderful friend there. Wish I had one! Posted some garden pics to Neil so check them out. Was so pleased to actually get out there today because the creepy bollock went out. There is nothing more unnerving than realsing you are being watched through a hedge. I was so engrossed in my puzzle that I didn’t know he was there. It’s obsessional with him. Most peeps accept it if someone doesn’t want to be mates. But he is bloody persistent in wanting to watch me. The freakiest thing is not knowing how long he was there for. That’s why he keeps trimming back the growth on the hedge. Must get my cameras set up so I can record the behaviour.
Looking forward to swimming tomorrow. Limited to 50 mins so I said to my niece I want to see her swimming like an athlete for the cost of it. Will be worth paying a membership for the summer. Love swimming.
Squeezing you back. I’m over my bug now so no fear of a runny bum in the swimming pool!
Lots of love xxx
Beki I am so jel of your beautiful mature garden / plants. Really pleased to see you out there. It’s hard work but when it’s done you can sit back with a cuppa and admire your handiwork. Nothing nicer than a well tended garden. Do you get that feeling of being uplifted with working hard like I do? Could be a northern thing.
Still haven’t tackled the fishtank. Takes 2 hours. Might do it after swimming tomorrow.
Have fun with your friend!
Lots of love xxx
@Tina19
This TikTok I saw this morning reminded me of what you were saying x
Hope you are doing ok 
xx
@christine51
I am so very pleased to hear you are going swimming with your niece tomorrow and that you are looking forward to it being a regular thing.
Such a shame Creep spoiled your day so definitely get those cctv cameras up asap x
I love the wheelbarrow and Porscha has such a sweet face…beautiful kitty 
x
Look forward to hearing about your swim as I’m away tonight to watch the new Jurassic Park film.
Like @nicnic was saying I haven’t heard either of the bad reviews so will keep you all updated lol 
xx