Morning Lucy
I’m having a quiet one this weekend with nothing planned. Crammed it all in last weekend.
Have you or have you considered phoning Cruse or Samaritans. They have really helped me. I’ve just finished my counselling and have got benefits from it. Not everyone is the same though . I had to wait a long time to get my counselling. Also coming on here is a counselling of sorts as we know what each other is going through
Hope your Friday will be as good as it can be
Love and best wishes
Neil x
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Morning Neil,
How do you cope when you haven’t got any plans? I worry when I’ve got a day of nothing planned and no one to see.
I’ve thought about calling one of them, have applied for counselling through Cruise so just waiting to hear, I know it will take a while. I’ve had counselling in the past for other issues and it’s always been helpful.
Going to get my haircut this afternoon, trying to do something normal!
I hope your Friday is treating you well.
Lucy x
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Hi Lucy
The first three months I was really struggling to cope if I didnt have anything planned . I suffered from anxiety and was in a bad place. I started to phone Cruse and then Samaritans just to let it all out rather than keeping it all in . No judgement or pressure and found it easier than talking to close friends and family. Slowly things have started getting a bit easier and my life is growing round my grief
I take one day at a time and if there are things that need to be done, spread them out over a few days. My way of coping is seeing shows but even when I havent got one that week I know I will have one booked for the near future .
It is really difficult in those early weeks and to be honest I cant believe I managed to get through them.
Best wishes
Neil x
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Thanks! That is Mum and I in a helicopter when we went to see the Grand Canyon 
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Feeling sorry for myself today. It is a Friday and so another so many weeks since Mum went
Went to bed last night and started with stomach cramps and nausea. There have been bugs going around so hoping not that. Being sick is my big phobia so petrified of feeling like this and being on my own
Still feel ropey today. A friend was going to pop in this afternoon but I have put her off as she has a baby and wouldn’t want to pass anything to them if it is a bug
I have discomfort where my gall bladder used to be, know there is scar tissue around my liver so that might be having a grump.
Right now I feel hungry but also ickly (it’s muggy warm and anxious too) so just having a cup of tea and some water. Will get myself settled in front of my computer and get to work
thanks for listening to that woe is me!!
Beki x
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Hi Neil,
Thank you for the advice. I’m hoping going back to work will give me some structure. Planning things is also a great idea, at least if I have nothing one day I know I’ll have something coming up soon. It’s a wild and awful ride isn’t it. I am glad to hear that eventually it will start to ease, I know I’m in it for the long haul but it’s nice to know it does get better. I think getting through them is our mums pulling us through, they’d hate to see us sink.
@Beki the actual day that they left is always the worst day isn’t it. It just reminds you of how long they’ve been gone. I have the same sick phobia as you, I’m terrified about the first time it happens now I’m living alone. I hope you start to feel better soon and I hope today treats you kindly.
Lucy x
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Just found out my mum is being cremated next Friday. She wanted a direct one so we are going to plan a big party for another time in the pub where I work as she loved it there.
Came out to post a teddy I bought her for her birthday that I never got to give her to go in the coffin, went into the pub I work beforehand and my friend who works there and loves my mum had bought her a bracelet when she was on holiday before my mum passed. I’ve put it in with the teddy to go with her, had no intention of going into the pub beforehand so now I feel it was meant to be. Funny how things work, things you would never think of before you lost your mum.
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I went to my sisters restaurant the other week with my kids on a whim. It was one of those ‘funny how we went’ times. There was a lady there running sessions for children on how to deal with their emotions. My eldest wanted to do it and she still talks about it weeks later. The lady doing it was so lovely. I said to her it’s almost like we were meant to come here today. It helped my eldest a bit I think. It’s also when I found the box for mums ashes and things that o decorated. Did put some pictures up of it. But kind of felt like it was meant to be. I think we do maybe think differently after. I don’t know how or why. Strange. But it kind of brought me a little comfort and hope it did for you too.
Nic xxx
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Felt a bit brighter as the day went on and actually hungry so just had a quite plain chicken kebab delivered. This may haunt me later and if it does I will come on here and share 
I might even watch some Glastonbury tonight though am feeling super tired
Beki x
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The strangest thing just happened and I wanted to share on here. Came to the pub I work at for a couple of drinks with a friend, look across the bar and see my step brother. He doesn’t live in this area and I haven’t seen him in maybe 8 years. He gave me the biggest hug and asked how me and my brother are doing, said we need to meet up because we are family.
Sorry for going on but it was just so strange!
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Hi Lucy, it sounds like you were in the right place at the right time, for both your friend giving you a bracelet to put on the teddy and seeing your step brother. It’s not strange at all, It was meant to be. This is going to be a difficult week for you with your mum’s cremation coming up on Friday so it is nice to reconnect with other family members.
Debbie X
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Hi all. Having a bit of a bad one tonight. On my own for the first time since mum. Both girls at their dads. Weren’t meant to be but was all last minute. He should of been with them all weekend at some point but he’s arranged to go out tomorrow night. Nice for him! Would of had mum to sound off too. Miss her. Miss the girls and feeling low.
Sorry for negative post.
Hope you’re all ok
Nic xxx
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Hi everyone, I hope Friday has been kind to you all.
I’m sitting in my daughter house just watched the original Top Gun, it been a full on evening, my granddaughter had a dance lesson, we’ve had dinner just washed up and tied away. The dogs been fed. Granddaughter and the dog have gone up stairs to bed and my grandson is sitting on the sofa playing on his phone, I suppose that makes two of us😂
My son in law left me house rules, he said thanks for babysitting but :
No shoes indoors
No alcohol or drugs
No peeing or pooing on the floor (the dog)
No sex
No toy boys
If you puke do it in the toilet.
I love my son in law he has a wicked sense of humour.
Beki glad your day has got better, hope that chicken kebab is is not haunting you.
Suzanne hope you have a lovely weekend and enjoy Wicked.
Neil you are definitely sounding more positive,. Your right dancers do suffer with injuries for their art. I hope Ashley is back on the stage soon and you get to go to another of her shows.
Tina, I’ve definitely put on weight, I’m just blaming the menopause and chocolate 
Christine I hope you are getting out in your garden, how are you getting on with your arches. Have you started building your bug house to fill in the gap in the hedge yet.
@nicnic I sorry your struggling this evening. The girls being with their dad and your mum not being here I can see how difficult it is for you. Don’t be sorry for feeling low it’s understandable, they will soon be back home with you again.
We are all here for you and sound off when ever you need to.
I just wish I was there to give you a hug and tell you it will be alright. 
Sending love 
and hugs to everyone this evening
Debbie X X
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Sending a big hug @nicnic. The whole restructuring with that Mum
Missing piece is so painful.
I am watching Billie Eilish at Glastonbury and thinking when I was her age I could barely use a washing machine or talk in public!
@LucyF90 what a great chance meeting (though I often think when these things happen at times like this there’s a helping hand from somewhere)
Beki x
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I was thinking of you Tina at 2.30am this morning as I was standing in the garden waiting for my daughter’s dog to have a wee. Then she got me up again at 6am to let her out. I’m never up this early in a Saturday
Now I know why I prefer cats, they let themselves out the catflap.
Debbie X
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Are you okay this morning @nicnic, I bet you didn’t sleep much last night, not long now until the girls are home.
Sending a hug
Debbie X X
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Like this Debbie x
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Hi Nic
Please do not sorry if you are having a bad day. That’s what we are here for to help each other through. No doubt I will have some more bad days to come .
Hope Saturday will be better for you
Sending love and best wishes
Neil x
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Morning Debbie.
Oh my goodness Debbie!! I was up at just 12.45am last night so I’m not in your league! If anyone sees me at such a time throwing a ball and chasing her round the garden in the hope to jiggle some wee out of her they’d be thinking about calling the “yellow van with the square wheel’s”. At that time you’d almost be seeing the Sun come up!
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