FIZZ at the top waff in the middle… and a recent photo of my precious Mam with my dog Harry , whom she absolutely adored. Harry went to my Mams funeral 
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Your photos are superb and such a good one of your mum and Harry 
xx
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Morning everyone 
Hope your day is a decent one and brings us at least one thing to be grateful for even if we’re not feeling it (know that feeling all too well)
Take care of yourselves 
xx
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Hi Jane,
Love your pics! Such a lovely pic of your mam with Harry. You can see the love in his little face! He must be wondering where she is. Is Fizz the 22 year old? They’re both in great shape for their ages. Marmalade passed when he was 21. He loved camping and came from a tea chest in the barn of my aunties farm. Such a character. He would growl at the binmen. They were scared of him and mam had to keep him in when they were collecting.
It’s wonderful but also very upsetting thinking of my mam. I’m feeling so fragile at the mo (again) and tearful at the slightest thing. Just can’t make sense of it. Why do we have to lose our mams?
Been stuck in again as creep is out with his garden power tools. He had the cheek to stop and chat with my delivery lady when she called. She doesn’t know the situation with him. Is it absolute nosiness or is he just a letch to every woman? Bit of both I think.
Had a productive morning researching car insurance and breakdown. Saved myself £25 by combining the two. So it hasn’t been a wasted morning after all. I just can’t get out there and do the trellis and painting.
Hope you’re having a good day.
Lots of love xxx
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Hi Christine
The cats look gorgeous. How nice to have them in your garden.
I envy your motivation Christine with your garden. I’ve wasted so much time over the past few days. Just can’t seem to focus or do anything. Just been outside and all the strawberry plants I bought that are in the hanging basket are starting to get pale white powder on them. They didn’t cost so much, apart from time and anticipation. I’m like you at the minute, next door is out faffing about in his garden and I don’t feel like trying to do things like digging out a tree route whilst he’s out in case I fell flat on my oversized backside. (I don’t think he’d notice if it started to rain multi-coloured rabbits though to be honest). Not like your nightmare neighbour. You must be quite strong-willed to not let him get to you. Good on you for standing your ground, but you obviously shouldn’t have to.
Have you been any better recently Christine. Hope so. I get all the posts so mixed up these days so can’t see the latest ones properly.
Much love xx
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@Suzanne30 thanks, yes I love that one aswell, I have it in a frame in my living room
@christine51 yes fizz is 22, she carnt hear now and is really wobbly but happy in herself and never stops eating bless her. Marmalade sound such a character haha 
yes I had a terrible day yesterday, I hate my life without my Mam, she was everything to me. Its so unfair isn’t it 
Sounds definitely like a letch
Well done on saving yourself some money aswell.
I Did have a better day today as I went for a walk on the beach with Harry & my daughter. I always feel so much better when with my daughter, wish she could stay home with me everyday 
Take care x
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Hi Tina,
I’m so fed up! Haven’t been in the garden for days because of the creep. Had today planned, electric screwdriver powered up to do the trellis and he’s been at home all day making loads of noise with his tools, doing the hedges and whatever else. It’s bad enough he’s there but worse when I have to listen to him. So I haven’t watered the garden since Thursday. All that hard work might be for nothing if everything dies in the heat. That’s 4 days stuck in because of him. I absolutely hate him. And I was saying earlier he was chatting away for the lovely delivery woman when he was out the front. I haven’t told her what he did and obviously she’s not being rude to him but it’s infuriating that he behaves like he’s done nothing wrong while I hide inside. Can’t wait to get the fences up so I can try to go out when he’s at home. I wonder why I bother trying to be motivated when I have no real freedom.
I’ve felt quite unwell again with pains and swelling in my stomach and so exhausted I’ve just woken up again. But I did sort out new car insurance with breakdown and saved myself £25 a month. Really worth going on these comparison sites. Tried again with the camera’s and tearing my hair out!
Texted my niece about a swim after therapy but she hasn’t confirmed. It’s not like her to be so dismissive of me. It’s since the drama with my sister. She’s obviously in an awkward position so I can’t push her. Just won’t bother.
Googled your strawberry plants. Seems to be a mildew. Solutions to try:
How do you treat powdery mildew?
Baking soda has been proved by many gardeners to be effective in treating powdery mildew. Mix 1 teaspoon baking soda in 1 quart of water. Spray plants thoroughly, as the solution will only kill fungus that it comes into contact with. Milk spray is another effective home remedy.
It’s worth trying because they will come again next year. Mine have stopped producing fruit. They were delicious and huge so don’t know what has happened to them. Lost my sparkle for the garden.
It is lovely sitting out there with the cats lounging around when the creep isn’t there. I had 2 visitors this morning for chicken and a love. I have a natural affinity with cats. They can sense a persons aura. But then I do make a fuss, hand feed them chicken sitting on the kitchen floor, chatting away. What’s not to love!
Might watch a film. I’ve got buggar else to do and have o energy for doing the floors. Would like to sit with the kitchen door open but he’d be sprinting up the garden so he could get a better view. Just can’t deal with that. I really don’t understand it. I’m in my fifties, have no breasts because of cancer and overweight because of the treatment. What is he so obsessional about? Hates that I won’t talk to him or breathe the same air. He’s a complete moron. Lurch from The Adams Family.
Lots of love xxx
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Afternoon everyone. Sending warmth and gentle hugs to all.
Today would have been my uncles 73rd birthday (Mum’s brother) who took his own life in 1991. In the last couple of years Mum talked about him more and more, and would get upset at the thought of them not being old together. She used to also say when she met him again she’d kick his arse first and then give him a big hug! I hope they are having a big hug today.
Beki x
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Hi Jane,
You’ll see from my post to Tina I haven’t been in the garden for 4 days now because of the creep. It’s so unfair. He does what he does to me and is bold as brass strutting about the garden with whatever power tool he’s making a racket with. Hope he chops his head off.
When I’m trapped like this I feel so vulnerable. He’ll know its because he’s there that I’m not outside finishing the trellises. Time goes so slowly and I’m more exhausted not doing stuff than tackling the biggest jobs. I have chronic fatigue as a reaction to stress so have been asleep again. Such a waste of my day.
I hate my life too without my mam here. I have nobody to talk to or spend time with. My niece said she would text me back to confirm swimming but hasn’t. I hate being messed around or just not bothered with. I’ve never heard from my dad again or my sister and my other sister doesn’t ring me back. You are lucky that your whole life hasn’t collapsed when your mam left and that you can chat and recall good times with your daughter. Could she not come to stay for a bit? Or you go to her? It could help you. Be a comfort. Mam was the only person who actually understood and accepted my agoraphobia, believed that I tried and didn’t hold it against me when I couldn’t get out the door. Without her I am lost, apart from my therapist. I’m terrified that he will die and leave me too. He’s my only contact now with the outside world and is obviously very busy. I just keep thinking everyone will die around me. I still wish I would die in my sleep so I can be with mam.
Feeling very sorry for myself! Not usually like this. Love the freedom of living alone. Just hate being objectified by the creep. My perception of the world changed after being stalked years ago and I never regained my independence. Get very annoyed with myself for not being more bolshy like I used to be.
Wish I could walk along the sea front with the wind in my hair. Mind you, I’d be looking for the creep hiding behind every lamppost!
Lots of love xxx
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Hi Beki,
I’m really not, again, because the creep won’t go to work. But I love that your mam will be reunited with her brother. All I want to do is be with mam. I’m missing having someone there for me. I’m so very alone.
Lots of love xxx
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@christine51 My daughter does live at home still, well sort of not here much as she works full time then normally goes straight to her boyfriends to stay over. She is good bless her, she knows how I feel even more protective over her now more than ever so always texting and sending me pics through the day.
I really feel for you Christine, your really having a crap time arnt you. Just remember take it hr by hr, and remember your Mam would want you to be positive and have a smile back on your face. ( carnt belive I’m telling you this when I don’t practice what I preach)… think we all do that don’t we though…
@Suzanne30 love frogs so cute
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Hi Suzanne,
You can see the mischief in his face. He knows he’s been caught! Can’t imagine being fury in this heat. Reaaly muggy tonight. Had to wait until it was dark and then pack the car for the skip and put my bib=ns out. As soon as I open that kitchen door the creeps mate is out with her dogs and then the phone starts ringing to the creep. It’s relentless. Can’t believe I’m being bullied because he drilled through the loft wall and I won’t be quiet about it. But I can’t go out there when he’s there. He knows I’ll report him for watching me so its like his mate is watching me on his behalf. I just want to be left alone. Haven’t been in the garden since Thursday. That’s a very long time of being trapped inside, especially when I can’t open my windows. I imagine him crawling through them.
Missing mam is a massive black hole. I want to tell her what’s happening to me but can’t and have nobody else to tell. My family wouldn’t believe me anyway.
My niece will come swimming tomorrow. That’s if I have the energy to go. Feel so ill. I’m sure its a reaction to the stress of living with the constant threat that he’ll drill through the wall again. When I’m on the sofa he’s tapping on the wall where I’m sitting. It’s like I’m living in some weird creepy horror film.
Just spotted the frog pic. Is that a tyre I see? Having water creates such a haven for wildlife. Years ago I was swarming with baby frogs. The cats loved playing with them. I have seen a frog but no babies. Miss the freedom of the garden when I’m not out there.
Lots of love xxx
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Hi Jane,
I couldn’t even put my bins out for collection because of the creep being at home. But I’ve just gone out there in the dark to the bin and loaded the car for the skip. He was watching me out the curtain because it was slightly open and I knew he’d do that. As soon as I opened my kitchen door his mate with the dogs was out there and his phone in his house started ringing. This is relentless. I’m being bullied by both of them because of what he has done to me. The woman believes his version of events. It’s obvious I’m not a nutter. And my reaction to his being at home speaks volumes. All the neighbours know what he has done because I wouldn’t keep my big mouth shut. Why would I? The council believe me. And I’m left to just accept it and put up with him living there. It’s like he’s laughing at me, knowing there’s buggar all I can do about it.
I’m thinking of reporting it again to the council and police. But until he actually does something there’s nothing they can do and the police didn’t want to be involved at all. I keep looking back at events and thinking I should have done this and that. It’s too late now. Mam believed me but dad wanted proof and I had to show him postings on the internet of it happening to other people. I don’t lie. I’m very passionate and will not be quiet. He just thought it was too far fetched to be real. I want to tell mam it’s still going on, this attitude towards me.
I’m so pleased you have your daughter there. She’s still ‘there’ until she moves out. To be listened to and supported means everything because without that what do we have? Nothing.
Hoping I feel better after my swim tomorrow. it’s the open air lido so will be refreshing and relaxing. Been a while since I saw my niece.
I find it so hard just trying to get through the time when I’m not able to be busy.
Lots of love xxx
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I’m going to the chapel of rest at the funeral directors today and i am literally panic stricken.
I still can’t process any of this my brain won’t let me do anything. Im crying already been awake since my husband went to work at 5.30 and cant bring myself to get out of bed. I just want it to all stop.
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Hi Michelle,
I feel for you, not going to tell you it will be easy at the chapel of rest, but the funeral directors are very good and will help you through it.
I went to see my husband the day before his funeral and it was very emotional, there was many tears but I’m glad I did it to say my final goodbye. I remember thinking I forgot to send socks, his feet were cold, he always had cold feet.
I did think he looked different, peaceful even younger, as the last few years of illness and pain had gone away.
Be thinking of you today you will get through it
Love Debbie X
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Michelle,
Thinking of you today. Do it all in your own time and do it however you feel you can to just get through it. We are all here for you.
Sending love, hugs and strength,
Nic xxx
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@MichelleY thinking of you today
Me and my sister put bits in with my beloved Mam, we put her favourite perfume in, chocolates, photos and she also had a blanket on her covered in photos of my dog that my 2 children bought my mam for her 88th birthday in April. She adored him
Be strong
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Hi Christine,
Yes that’s one of the tyres I was going to use as a wee pond…looks like he couldn’t wait lol x
I am pleased that your niece will be going swimming with you and I do hope you are going to feel better for it as you always enjoy it x
Your nerves must be shot to hell with all that Creeps goings on and that is just so not fair that you have to put up with that. Could your friend with the sick cat not perhaps be able to have a wee look at the cameras for you and maybe together get them working? x
I had the joy of watching two kids from the village yesterday running about with a dead crow like it was a toy and they looked stunned when I told them to put it nicely down ie not throw it like a bloody frisbee, and leave it in peace as they were being super disrespectful. One of the kids has issues I swear xx
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