Hi all
Had a last- minute Sunday lunch invite from a good friend of ours ( who also invited me for Xmas dinner just after Mum passed). Had a nice lunch in the garden and I saw the Hammers play with her husband later on in the afternoon. We did lose 0-2 but were playing the champions. Nice to have some company today. Going to be another hot few days forecast .
Hope you have had a pleasant Sunday as possible
Sending love and best wishes
Neil x
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So pleased you were invited out to Sunday lunch Neil, and got to watch the Hammerās play.
Doug and I used to be big football fans, we followed Luton Town, our son was assistant groundsman for a while there, now he is his own boss and does all the groundsman work at Rushden & Diamonds, who ground share with Rushden & Higham FC, and also Desborough Town FC.
Doug also followed Man U.
I have to admit I donāt watch football much now, lost interest as it was something Doug and I did together and I havenāt got the heart for it now.
Iām pleased Sunday has been a bit better for you, and you are feeling a bit better.
Thinking about you on Thursday, it is my youngest Granddaughterās birthday too.
Sending love
Debbie X
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Hi to everyone else, hope the weekend has been reasonable for you all, catch up tomorrow.
Debbie X
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Hi Neil,
That lunch invite was just a mood lifter and a free meal with no dishes to do lol x
The company is just what you needed and came at a perfect time 
but sorry to hear your team lost. Despite my great uncle being the Scotland Squad coach in the ā70s, being the coach of the local team and actually having a stand named after himā¦I have no clue at all about football 
x Only time I got a sports question right on Pointless was when āWillie Ormondā was a pointless answer and I said it lol x
Iām going to bed as for an early start tomorrow but just wanted to say how pleased I was that you had a good day esp when not expecting it 
x
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Hi Debbie
I used to go to West Ham regularly for 30 years and was a member. In those last few years before Dad passed I always rang him when I was on my way home to talk about the game ( he was an Ipswich fan so they are my second team now). I lost a bit of interest in the game after he died and we moved grounds. Then Covid came and no fans allowed and I never went back ( maybe I will one day) . A death alters things and you lose interest in things you really enjoyed. Thatās me with football. Will always support West Ham but actually going to another game I dont think I can . Theatre has taken over and that is my number one passion now.
Anyway it was a nice afternoon and Mum would have been pleased that I had a kind invite.
Wishing you a pleasant evening
Sending love and best wishes
Neil x
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Hello Neil
Sorry I got the date wrong of your Mums birthday. I dont know how I had that date imprinted on my mind. So I do apologize. Donāt know whether anxiety is affecting my memory but half the time I canāt remember what Iāve done the day before. Time just doesnāt mean the same. Make sure you give yourself a bit more compassion in the upcoming days. xx
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Hi Christine.
All is quiet in the house right now so I thought Iād check in and see how you are doing. You donāt sound too great and I wish I hadnāt mentioned about Zoe not being well. Didnāt want to bring anyone down so I do apologize. The X-rays will confirm or rule out the vets provisional diagnosis and the op is for a lump removal on her head. In herself sheās ok and today Iāve been blowing bubbles to amuse her in the garden with some bubble wands from Asda they are selling off cheap. Zoe just looked at me with disdain as though Iād lost my marbles. I think I was more engrossed in the bubbles than she was!
I went in the garden this morning and noticed a red rose I had bought from B and Q in April had flowered on the quiet. It had ragged edges as I think aphids had got it but it just looked unusual and although not described as fragrant it was. Given up on the strawberries. Neighbours are growing all kinds of fruits but Iām useless with fruit. I might see if I have a picture of the rose.
I was really interested in your fence pictures and all the gardening updates. I adore the dolls houses. I have a huge dollās house indoors that my Dad modelled of a relatives house and a bungalow. My Dad was a joiner but Iād like to make one myself. Only something basic, to give the garden a bit of a focus. Yours gives a nice character to your garden.
Iām so so sorry about your neighbour hounding you, he sounds like heās stepped it up a bit. If he has other people involved itās going to feel isolating and I can imagine what this is doing to you. People can be extremely slippery though when it comes to getting caught and he is probably very, very personable around other people, and people in authority. Thank goodness he works most of the day. I can imagine the council would only say they could move you, but why should you. There is no proof because making someone fearful is an invisible crime and youād think something could be done. I really hope thereās a breakthrough soon for you
Must dash, hadnāt realized it was so late.
Hello to everyone else and kind wishes
Much love xx
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Hi Neil,
That was just what you needed to lift your spirits. Really doesnāt take much of a kind word or gesture to make an impact. I always feel better for getting out with the swimming and seeing my niece. Seems like sheās going to defer going to uni until next year to concentrate on the move but did say whatever happens she will be in touch everyday so that really eased my anxiety. Being alone magnifies anxiety on so many levels and keeping a perspective is hard. Will you go again for lunch? Be a lovely thing to do, especially with the football interest (I have no clue!) Getting a routine going would be great to shape your week. They are obviously very loving people. Would you go for xmas day this year?
I was quite upset when I found out my dad is in regular contact and sees my sister but continues to just ignore me when all I have done is loved mam and been grief stricken at her leaving. Think its an excuse for just not liking me. Mam contained his attitude and behaviour. I just didnāt realise it was on such a big scale. Have accepted it now. Still hurts and I know mam would be very upset, which makes it even worse. You are so lucky to have had a loving relationship relationship with both mam and dad. Cherish the memories. I know you do. But to have that will bring comfort when you are distressed. Hope the meal has eased the anxiety just a little.
Have you decided on what you will do for your mams birthday? I think a card, flowers and a cake always marks the occasion, and you can take pics to keep afterwards. Your parents will be very proud of you Neil. You have been doing amazing so far, an inspiration to us all. Youāve kept me going and I always think of you because we are on our own (despite my dad still being here). Youāll get through this and find relief afterwards. Keep posting.
Iām having my posts delivered today so more painting and hope to get one fence panel fixed if the creep leaves. Going to be very hot so not sure how much Iāll get done. Got some medication for my cold so some relief. Will finish my bug house and post pics today.
Lots of love xxx
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Hi Tina,
Iām glad you told me about Zoe. Itās always upsetting to hear bad news but at least the vet will know what heās dealing with and what he can do for her. Iām surprised she doesnāt go after the bubbles. My sisters dogs loved doing that and spent all summer jumping up in the air to catch them. Different breeds have different temperaments. She loves a shoe. Iām sure your brothers best trainers ! will amuse her no end.
Your āquietā rose was a lovely find. I still havenāt gathered the dead roses together yet to take a pic and contact J Parkers to see if theyāll replace or refund. Iāll take pics of those thriving to show itās not me or my garden at fault. I ordered so many but donāt expect that many to not take.
Shame about the strawberries but I havenāt got any more fruit on mine either, or the loganberries. Maybeās havenāt been picking them enough to generate new growth. Will investigate today. My plans are to paint the posts being delivered today, finish the bug house, move the huge old tree trunks I kept for small creatures and create a new habitat around the bathtub, put 2 arches together and create one curved structure at the kitchen corner, soak the garden, fix one fence panel if I can in the heat now that creepy bollack has gone to work. I got some cold tablets after swimming yesterday so feel a bit better.
Had a sleep yesterday when I got in. Started crying in the garden about mam. Just hit me sheāll never see me grow into an old lady or enjoy the shade of the patio in summer. Just so upsetting. Upset now. I canāt accept sheās gone forever. I still want her to come back.
Your dolls house is a great project, and like you say it adds character to the garden. You could create it for a specific space and fill with all manner of things for insects and small creatures. The bottom āroomsā can be filled with straw for hedgehogs. Bees love straw for their nests in summer so the āatticā could be for nesting bees. Varying the materials you use will add interest and attract wildlife in Autumn. Collect pebbles and stones, bamboo, twigs and larger branches, dry leaves, cut debris from the garden, plantpots etc. Not sure what Iāll use the large dolls house for yet but the plastic one can be a nesting box for birds. Thatās another project, to fix it into the trees along the fence at the top pond. You could make a few houses for different things. So many possibilities.
Oh Tina, you are so spot on about the creepās behaviour and it being an āinvisible crimeā. He and the woman with the dogs have been very quiet since that fence panel has gone up. I made a phonecall to my niece while I was doing it and was very loud indeed explaining my anxiety about him returning before it was finished and having to block the hole in the bushes because he could walk straight into my garden and crawl through my open windows, that if he can remove a wall in the loft thereās no knowing what he will do. There was workmen next door and I heard them commenting on how scared I am of him and that it why I behave the way I do. Maybe theyāve gone back and reported the effect this is having on me. Also, the creep hasnāt cut down the hedge or trees behind the fixed panel. I donāt know whether anything has been said to him because they donāt tell me. But heās been very quiet, not shouting and bitching with the neighbours. I donāt know why the council do not move people who cannot behave themselves. How serious does it have to get? I donāt know who he is and what heās done to get moved here. I certainly donāt know what heās capable of. But I do feel so much safer even with one panel in because I can imagine the whole fence being done with trellis to extend the height and he wonāt be able to spy on me any more. Donāt know what his next move will be. The loft happened because he couldnāt spy on me in the garden when the woman moved in (his mate) because he could be seen. He canāt get through the loft again because he knows I will report him. My niece will help me set up cameras to catch him spying at the front of house. Donāt know what else he is able to do apart from target my car and that will be caught on camera. Following me when I go out will always be a fear because Iāve caught him doing that more than once.
Hope my deliveries are early. Got until 3 this afternoon to wait. Usually pop a note on the front door so I donāt miss any.
Fingers crossed for Zoe and thinking of you too. I know you must be so worried about her and what the future holds. But if they can remove the lump, as they have with me (twice) Iām sure sheāll bounce back to her usual antics.
Going to make a start on those arches. Ideal for creating height and doorways. Only a round a tenner on Amazon and easy to put together.
Lots of love xxx
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Hi Suzanne,
Feeling better with cold tablets so planning lots of jobs in the garden today now that the creep has left for work. Youāll see in my post to Tina what Iāve got planned if the heat allows. Hope to fix another fence panel today but really hard work on my own. Iāll get it done though. If I donāt keep busy I just cry. On the brink the whole time. But feeling safer in the garden with the fencing and should get the cameraās sorted this week. Wonder what reaction the creep will give to being filmed (if he spots the cameras). Not like he can complain because Iām doing it to get evidence of his behaviour. Not that I want to be watching him. Canāt think of anything worse.
Have you been lounging on your fabulous sofa? Great tip for when youāre sunning yourself with drink in hand on your days off - freeze grapes to keep drinks cold. Doesnāt water down like ice cubes.
Going to be really hot this week - in the 30ās. Just donāt know how you can work in this heat. Bad enough having to get in my car because I didnāt get the air con sorted when it run out last summer. Itās like a furnace because thereās no shade where I park.
Some good news for me is that my niece is going to defer until after the move but that could be any time and anywhere including moving to Brighton where she will go to uni. I was encouraging her to still go in Oct. but she wonāt. So if the move doesnāt happen or is local I will have my swim buddy for a lot longer.
Must get in that garden and make a start though Iām dreading the heat!
Lots of love xxx
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Hi Debbie,
Just a quick hello before I get out in the garden and make a start. Youāll see from my posts what Iām planning on doing but itās so hot. Bet youāre relieved you arenāt at work this week. The creep has gone to work so might try and fix another fence panel now. Will post pics tonight and catch up properly. I feel so much safer though just having one panel fixed and imagining a life in the garden without being watched. Freedom! And I wonāt have to plan my day around the creep.
Hope you have something good planned this week. I have another swim after therapy in the open air pool tomorrow so looking forward to that.
Lots of love xxx
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Hi Christine.
Iām really pleased for you about getting the fencing up. Youāll feel so much at ease. I made a fence in this garden of my brothers and have found my neighbour is letting the Virginia Creeper wind itself around it, but then I thought so what, the fence was only a make do and mend fence and this Virginia Creeper is so fast growing itāll be dense coverage and privacy in no time. Iāll just have to watch the root for travelling. Do you have a hosepipe ban where you are?
Glad your niece will be around for you more. Specially with Lurking Lurch on the prowl. Does he do anything like that during the dusk hours. You could get a PIR light so it will trigger when heās around.
I understand what you mean about missing your Mam. Sometimes you get pottering about outside doing stuff and then it gets to you. In some ways, When it does I donāt feel I can do anything and just seem to lose momentum. Itās like you say though, you get engulfed but then manage to climb out for a bit.
Over the weekend I ātreatedā myself to something new. A slow cooker (as you do!). Iāve been eating rubbish a lot really. However last night I ordered one of those goody bag things from the Too Good To Go App. From the Pound Bakery, so probably cakes included so bit of a contradiction to healthy eating but I was curious!!
Well Iāll catch up later. Have a good day.
xx
My unusual b and w rose!
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Hi Tina,
That is such a pretty rose. I havenāt seen the old fashioned type in that colour.And because itās open the bees and insects can get to it, unlike the designer ones which are āclosedā. You must have very green fingers indeed! Iām very jel !
Your fence with the virginia creeper will become at one with nature and youāll not have to replace it again because you will have a dense coverage in time, and privacy. Iāve been training ivy up mine next to the house. What a job that was but it will become invisible when thereās more growth.
I didnāt get to water the garden today. My 2 fence panels are up!!! One is properly secure and the other is secure on one side and waiting for the new fence posts which I have to paint but Iād forgot to order the bigger sized metal fixings so canāt get them up straight away. But I am so pleased with the result. It was really hard to do because I saved the hawthorn (very prickly) and the brambles with blackberries for the birds. So trying to drill and screw the posts and fence together while my hair was caught in amongst it all wasnāt the greatest but I got it done. A bit wobbly at the top but it will all be attached onto the pergola and united with the rest of the fence going up the garden. There is a bit where I need to fill in because the bush is in the way. But I have lots of old tree trunks to fill the space and if I paint them green they wonāt be seen. Canāt wait to get it finished. Creep got back just before I came in and I was very aware of being watched by the woman with the dogs but I didnāt care as long as I got it finished. Iāve stuffed the hole as a protest at being watched. A small victory. Donāt know why I didnāt do this sooner. It has shut the pair of them up. Iāll feel comfortable now and sit out or do jobs in the garden even if heās there. Thatās the plan anyway.
I know mam would be so proud of what Iāve achieved with the fence. Itās my way of fighting back. Every small victory was recognised and celebrated. My mam is such a kind and loving person. I didnāt realise how valuable that was because she was just who she was and she was mam. I wish Iād pampered her more, just for being her. I know I did lots and went over to help her with the garden etc but I wish Iād spent more time relaxing and just enjoying being together. Iām always on the move and onto the next thing. I just want her back. It is a relief to climb out of the torment just for a bit. It always returns so when Iām able to concentrate on a job I feel like myself again for a bit. Iām upset again just thinking of her and how pleased sheād be for me. I wish I could invite her over to show her. Nothing I do will ever mean what it did before mam. Like you said, thereās a before and after. Everything after is flat and imagining mamās reaction is not enough, but it is something to cling onto.
Might get some more sensor lights to add all along the fence so Iāll know if heās lurking on the other side. I have some up but think Iāll get more as a deterrent.
Well done on getting a cooking pot. I have a soup maker, smoothie maker and a George Foreman grilling machine (for Porschaās chicken). I got rid of my dusty cooker as I never used it. Dropped cookery in the second year because I just canāt do it and have no interest in it. Mam always cooked extra meals for me to heat up in the microwave. I miss her dinners. Hope you get inspired with some recipes. It is strange, I really enjoy watching cooking (Nigel Slater and Nigella my faves) but itās more about the lovely kitchens and gadgets with a pristine veg garden to forage that really draws me in. I have cookery books but have only ever looked at the pretty pictures.
Going out to get a few more pics before it turns dark. Iām always taken aback when we lose the light in the summer evenings. I seem to think itās light nights until winter but it isnāt. Iāll be able to sit out with the fairy lights on when the fence is finished. Wish mam had stayed with me more often. But then dad would have felt left out so it wasnāt often. But I did enjoy it when she did.
Will post pics in a bit.
I hope there isnāt a hosepipe ban. Still havenāt watered the garden and itās really parched now. Will do it early tomorrow before therapy if I can.
Lots of love xxx
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Hi Christine
Yes I am very thankful Iām not at work this week. I donāt do the heat very well. I havenāt done much all day, caught up with a few TV programmes Iāve recorded while commonwealth games has been on.
Did your posts arrive and have you managed to put up any more panels of fencing. It will be such a relief for you when itās done. You said the workmen next door were talking about you situation with the creep, letās hope they do tell the council to help in your case against him.
Nice to hear your niece is still going to keep in contact with you even when she goes to university next year. At least you have your swim buddy for a few more months, has she helped with your CCTV yet.
You never know your sisters move away might not happen.
Are you feeling any better, looking after the garden with all the watering can be very exhausting. I left it until it was dark last night before I watered my garden, I try to give a good soaking every few days and leave it to struggle a bit in-between. The hydrangeas I usually throw my washing up water on them as they hate the heat and it doesnāt take much for them to start wilting.
One of my neighbours goes to bed about nine and gets up about five every morning, they have always got washing on the line by six in the morning when I usually get up on a work day. So I hope my watering the garden doesnāt keep them awake.
Havenāt had to cut the lawn for two weeks now, just looks so scorched , wouldnāt be surprised if more areas of the country have a hosepipe ban soon.
Havenāt got much planned, seeing a friend for lunch tomorrow, we are going to a local garden centre and going out with my daughter on Wednesday. We are either going to Lamport Hall or Deene Park. My grandchildren are going away for a few days camping with their church and some from the local Baptist Church youth group. So there will just be the two of us.
I think my son is in a grump with me, I missed his text message, he wanted to pop round for a cuppa and I had turned off my phone notifications as I was watching ITV Hub on my phone. I like Van Der Valk, last night didnāt realise the new series had started so caught up on the hub. He said he is coming tomorrow and I had to tell him Iām out tomorrow and Wednesday, he hasnāt replied. He will get over it, bless him.
I plan to go to the cinema next week, The Fishermanās Friends 2 is coming out, itās all about a real sea shanty singers I think from Port Isaac, loved the first film so I thought I would go and see it.
Closing ceremony for the commonwealth games is just starting, so I will catch up later.
Sending love
Debbie X
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Hi All,
As promised, hereās my pics of the fence. Such a relief to get it up at last. Still needs fixing but it is secure enough for now.
So I cleared all the dead tree trunks and with some cutting back of the hedge managed to slide the overlapped panel into the hawthorn tree.
Very tricky to do with the blackberries but I saved a lot of them and can train along the fence and wind through the structure over the pond.
!
Had to cut some back just so I could get into the space but theyāll grow back and thrive.
DSCN6432|375x500 !
Chaos on the patio. Had to cut up for compost bins as I went so it was a huge job, not just getting the fence up.
DSCN6433|666x500 !
Gap between the two end was perfect for the final panel to go in.
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Dolls house is keeping the fence in place until posts go up. And the gap created by the hedge is stuffed in protest of being spied on.
DSCN6443|666x500 !
Dead tree trunks can be used to fill the gap and painted.
DSCN6445|375x500 !
Very pleased with the overall result. Will be lovely when itās planted up behind the pond. Need to add the trellises to extend the height and fill the gap.
DSCN6446|666x500 !
Will encourage brambles to wind through the overhanging tree.
DSCN6447|666x500 !
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View of fence behind pond as sun begins setting behind the fence.
DSCN6471|666x500 !
Words of encouragement from Porscha as she lounges in the shade.
DSCN6438|666x500
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Thatās is much better for you, good job done X X 
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Great job Christine and thank you for posting x
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This is so stressful. Some pics havenāt loaded and the edit didnāt work so please bear with while I reload the with info. I haye it when things go wrong. Porscha is screaming outside but I have to finish this first.
Created a new habitat with all the bits I removed using the bowed fence as a natural cavity at the top pond
Will clear the old stumps from the bath tub and replace with long lengths
Trellises will create height and fill the gap
View as sun sets behind fence
Porscha lounging in the shade while I am drenched in sweat!
Used up old bits from shed to get started
Nut and bolt system easy to handle
Think Iāve replaced all the images. Hate when it disappears and then I run out of time in the edit. Drives me mad because of my ocd. But you get the picture.
A good days work done.
xxx
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Hi all,
Finally got back on here and have spent some time catching up on posts.
@christine51 your garden is looking fantastic! You really have a talent for it. Iām sorry things are still just as bad with the creep, hopefully the fence can give you much more privacy now. Sorry to hear about your family too, itās so unfair that they are treating you like this, but we least you have your niece to go swimming with and Iām sure youāll be in regular contact when she goes to uni.
@ NEILB72 glad to see you are still going to your shows, itās a great distraction. Sorry to see youāve been struggling, especially with your mums birthday coming up. Are you doing anything for it? My mums birthday was 10 days after we lost her so was very early, me and my brother went for a nice lunch to celebrate her.
Welcome to the new ones here, Iām so sorry for your loss but you have found a great community here, everyone is incredible and very supportive so youāre in safe hands.
As for the rest of you, well we talk everyday anyway so I know how you all are!
Lucy x
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Welcome back Lucy 
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