Hi Neil
Hope you are a bit steadier today.
That’s what I think too. About the time passes, Mum missing such a monumental and sad event.
It’s Tuesday isn’t it so I hope you are as ok as possible.
Love and Best wishes xx
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Hi Tina
Dreaded Tuesday today. Earlier I found some embroidery that Mum had done for the Coronation in 1953 when she was at school. It’s as good as new. I knew she did it and have seen it before but suddenly hit home this morning. Also there is a China dish from the jubilee in 2002. Been using it to put things in but now its empty only just noticed the significance of it.
Sending love and best wishes
Neil x
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Hi Neil,
Was reading about your royal finds and hope they will bring you comfort soon rather than despair.
Is your day been quite acceptable apart from that? x have you managed to get out and about at all today? x
It’s been really warm up here today so wasn’t expecting that yet the nights are creeping in as now getting darker about 7.30pm up here.
Got myself the new Stephen King book to start but lately I have the attention span of a gnat lol x
Hope you are doing ok today and will check in with you tomorrow 
x
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xJust wanted to say a quick hi to everyone, having phone issues and doing this on the laptop is weird.
I hope you all managed to get through yesterday, I was strangely compelled to watch it all, even though I cried alot, especially when the family followed the coffin back to Wellington’s Arch. It reminds me of Doug’s funeral following the hearse all the way to the crematorium was the hardest part of the day.
Love all the photos that have been posted.
Speak again soon
sending love
Debbie x
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Hi everyone
Hope everyone is keeping well.
Sorry I haven’t been on as much. The last few weeks I’ve been up, down and all around!
Yesterday was my birthday, first without Mum and it was odd but actually ended up having a lovely day. Granddad came down on Sunday and it was nice we were together for the Queen’s funeral which was very emotional day.
Yesterday I was actually working, but we took time out to go to lunch at one of my favourites places. Cake in the evening for tea! Blessed with gifts, cards and messages.
Granddad went home today so felt a bit anxious this morning. He has rung and is safely at his favourite supermarket for some lunch and a quick shop.
Then saw a theatre production advertised for next year which Mum and I would have been booking straight away. We loved a theatre trip at the beginning of the year - banish the January blues etc, of course our trip to London was the last thing we did just weeks before she passed. So got myself in a right state - no-one to go with, don’t have the nerve to travel on my own etc. Really triggered me, felt in a right state. Then reached out to a friend who said she’d love to go and we could be theatre trip buddies.
@NEILB72 I need some of your bravery I think! Hope you are going okay. The last week has been an emotional one and yes, the change of seasons brings the movement of time home. It’s odd that the time since our Mums left feels both like yesterday and a million years ago at the same time.
@christine51 how are you doing? All my bedding plants have gone over now so will hope to have some fine days and get those pots cleared out. May get some winter bedding - any recommendations or advice gratefully received!
@MichelleY and @Jane36 hope you are both coping okay
love, Beki x
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Hi Beki
Wishing you a belated happy birthday for yesterday. I was dreading mine this year but mine too turned out OK back in April. I think it’s the build up that causes anxiety and dread.
Glad you have got some theatre to look forward to . What are you seeing ?
Tomorrow I’m planning on getting a price for Mums jewellery. Something I dont really want to do but as it’s just me left some of Mum’s "so called " friends who have hardly been in touch would sell it if anything happened to me. Another very tough thing to do but Mum did say over the last few years that she wanted me to sell the items ( although I am not selling her wedding ring).
Sending love and best wishes
Neil x
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Hi to everyone, thankyou for asking after me.
I’ve been coping better a bit, just had 4 days in Mallorca just me and my daughter, a lovely break which was a present to my daughter for all.the love and support she has given for me, was amazing to spend the time with her.
Sunday I am going to watch Andrea bocelli in concert, a present from my son and daughter, .Andrea was my mams favourite singer, she thought he was so handsome aswell. I will be taking my mam with me in my heart 
There’s some lovely recently added photos on here
Love to all.x
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Hi Jane
Nice to see you post. Glad you had a nice break.
Andrea Bocelli was my Dad’s favourite and we had Time To Say Goodbye played at his funeral . Enjoy the concert !
Sending love and best wishes
Neil x
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Hi Neil
Yes, as so often the anticipation is worse than the actual event.
The play is The Unfriend https://www.westendtheatre.com/134158/shows/the-unfriend-tickets/ Looks very funny and a great cast.
With your Mum’s jewellery, have you consider having some of it repurposed into a piece for yourself?
Hope you are having a good day. Just had a counselling session and no tears for a change!
Beki x
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Hi Beki
I was reading about The Unfriend opening in the West End. I think it transferred from Chichester.
Well I sold Mums jewellery( actually it was my Nan who I never knew). Had it valued a few months ago and got £10 less for it now. Went in 3 other jewellers and they offered considerably less so took the pawnbrokers offer and got a three figure sum. Gold can go up or down so just have to take a chance. Mum wanted me to sell it( cant sell her wedding ring though ) as it’s only me left and if something happened to me someone else would sell it and get the money. Didnt enjoy doing it at all.
Hope you have a nice peaceful evening
Sending love and best wishes
Neil x
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Hi Neil,
Sorry to hear about your mum’s jewellery but I often think the same thing. I think I’ll give a couple of bits to the girls when they are a bit older but have so many bits and bobs I have inherited both from mum and my auntie x so I have said to myself that I will sell off all the ornaments etc that are just in drawers and will use the money unwisely lol x
Andrea Bocelli was my auntie’s favourites and when she was in and out of consciousness we played him to soothe her so I just can’t listen to him now x
Will you wear the wedding ring yourself or keep it safely? x do you have any trips coming up? x
I’ve just been told that the Loch is closed tomorrow due to unforeseen circumstances so have an unexpected day off so will take the car into the garage and get exhaust checked out.
How is the counselling going? x how are you doing this week?
Look after yourself and chat soon x
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Hi Jane,
Been to Menorca but never Majorca so that would have been a nice getaway x
Enjoy the concert as my auntie when she saw him in Glasgow when he played there said it was the best she had ever been to.
Have a great time and your mum will see it all through you 
x
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Hi Suzanne
Definitely keeping the wedding ring in a safe place. Not selling that one.
Quiet weekend as it stands at the moment. I found out that the V&A museum , if you’re on UC , all the paid exhibitions are free so planning a trip there soon and will probably go somewhere in the week before the train strikes start again !
Counselling was postponed this week because of the Queens funeral on Monday but starts up again next week
Hope you have a good day off and a peaceful weekend
Sending love and best wishes
Neil x
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@Beki
Thanks I’m getting a bit more possitive, trying to just live around that big part of me that’s missing.
@NEILB72
Thankyou, yes same we had that song at my beloved Mams funeral, also we had because we believe by Andrea.
@Suzanne30
That’s so nice of you to say about my mam seeing the concert through me, aww I hope so 
Hi to everyone else, goodnight God bless 
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This is the V&A up here in Dundee.
Been quite a peaceful couple of days off, thanks for asking. Had to take the car to the garage this morning as the exhaust was rattling but turns out it was just needing tightened up so they fixed it for free! Happy days lol x
I hadn’t realised the train strikes were starting up again. I absolutely get why they are doing it but always feel they are holding innocent people to almost ransom and kinda feel that’s not too fair.
Actually had frost on the car windscreen this morning…so not ready for this lol x
Next Saturday is Book of Mormon so have booked a restaurant next door to the theatre for a munch before we head in.
Has your neighbour with the child gone then? x I still have mum’s wedding and engagement ring and will keep safe like you as for one they are too small for my sausage fingers 
x but also the engagement ring isn’t my taste and would not like damage or lose it.
Got a couple of evening courses this week too to look forward to so will keep me busy.
Hope you have a good couple of days and can relax and do what you want x
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Hi Suzanne
I was looking on the V and A website and was reading about their other sites including the Dundee one. As a Londoner I really should have been to the museum in Kensington by now so must put it right. The theatre and performance gallery is closed until next month so will see that another day.
Great news about the car. Anything to save a bit of money during these times.
My neighbour with the little boy did indeed move out a couple of weeks ago. So much change happened in a short time.
The Book Of Mormon is fabulous . Lots of adult material but done in a way where you laugh rather than be offended .
Hope you have a peaceful rest of the weekend
Sending love and best wishes
Neil x
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Hi Everyone,
Haven’t been able to post. Tried but was too upset. Seem to be back on an even keel again, though on the brink of tears all the time. Forced myself to go to the skip and the lad who is lovely was chuffed that I was back! Not my usual happy self as hadn’t been back since mam. Was going to take them some nice biscuits for xmas as a thank you for all their help. Such lovely people. But I didn’t get back again. Reality hit that it’s nearly a year and I really don’t know how I’ve made it thus far. Keep getting a panic when it hits me mam isn’t here. That gaping hole where I don’t know what to do with it.
Just caught up on everyone’s posts. It’s so lovely to feel close to you all again. I’ve been quite productive creating new textiles from my saved recycling (Suzanne, you will be amazed when you see it - plastic and paper wrapping). Got the boxes down from the loft and sat with it for a bit before starting to forage to pin bits together. Easy to do in chunks. Like the garden it is a distraction and fills up time.
Moved some rocks today in prep for doing the pond and made room for my new stumpery. Sounds fancy but it’s just piling the long dead branches at the top of the garden for insects to hibernate. Haven’t been out there since the heatwave so totally disconnected to what I was doing. Sure I’ll get going again. Will do a bit at a time because I’m still so easily worn out.
Been swimming a couple of times again. Not heard from my niece. So boring on my own but if I give up I’ll just not swim ever again. Other people do it. So I plan ahead for a half hour in 3 segments. Gives me exercise a few times a week. Everything is such an effort.
Have to renew my driving license (every ten years with a new pic) and discovered the creep has stolen my passport and birth certificate. They were missing from my important papers and I’ve looked everywhere else. Have no proof so can’t report him for it. He went on holiday in the summer for the first time since he moved in. Don’t know how it works but people do flog passports for cash. Makes me feel violated all over again, wondering what else he has taken. I won’t know until I need it. I had to report him for pounding on the sitting room wall last night when he got in from work at 10.25. So loud it made me jump. Don’t know what that was about because nothing has happened and tv not any louder than normal. Will have to try to record on my phone.
Thought I’d be able to reply to everyone but I’m so tired again. Dread getting covid again if this is the long term effect. Don’t know whether I’ll get the booster jab offered.
I felt really sad reading all your posts. Everyone one of us is carrying so much sadness. I wish it would go away but without it I wouldn’t miss mam the way I do. The Queens passing really knocked me for six. Just want my mam back.
Will be back again soon. Love to you all. xxx
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Hello Christine
It’s nice to see that you have posted again. I read you’ve had some shaky times so it’s great that you are feeling a bit stronger.
It’s nice to hear you’ve been pottering about your garden again although I know with what you do “pottering” isn’t exactly the right word! I went to town yesterday and I went past a shop in the precinct and outside there was a basket with books in “How to grow and maintain roses”. It’s funny because you immediately sprang to mind when I saw it! I have still got the roses I bought this season and one or two other shrubs but my enthusiasm/interest isn’t there. I just can’t get headway with the shocking state of this garden and with the weather changing it will just get impossible. I’ll just have to accept some things have to be left. With having to take all the outbuildings down I’ve built a portable clothes rail in the garden but now the garden resembles Primark when there is washing outside!
We had to take Zoe to the emergency vets 20 miles a way on the night of the Queen’s service so you can imagine the expense as it was a bank holiday but she’d been out for a walk and was really Ill on returning. The day after I found out from a news site online that there had been suspected blue-green algae in a pond she had been in and other dogs had also been suspected poisoned so we’ve been watching her all week. She’s going to a specialist next week to see if she has spinal problems and how bad they are.
Had a bit of a moment this week. The next door neighbor was looking after someone’s dog, it’s only a tiny thing, and I heard barking. I looked up at their bedroom window which was wide open and there’s this little dog half over the window sill crying because it wanted to jump. Luckily I found a neighbour that had a very long pole and was able to push the window closed. It could have slipped and fallen to the ground. She’d gone out shopping and not closed the window. She’d not have realized what pets are capable of getting up to as she was only looking after it.
Do you think the tiredness could be covid related then? I’ve been more tired and forgetful since I had covid but it could just be anxiety so can’t pinpoint it really.
Its looking OK this morning so I hope you are able to do the stuff you want to in the garden. In peace as well.
Hope Porcha is OK too.
Much love xx
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