Evening everyone
Will check any posts tomorrow.
Just thought I would share some pics of a great afternoon watching the Royal Ballet perform the epic Mayerling.
Met a couple of my friends and three more of the company- now up to 17 I’ve met.
Sending love and best wishes
Neil x
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Hi Christine,
You certainly been hard at work. I have good news my covid test was negative today. For the first time in ten day went out the house to the co-op to get some fruit and paper shop to pick up my radio times and lottery ticket.
I can go to church tomorrow now, which is good as I’m on the coffee rota, but also means I be fit for work on Monday.
I did zoom for church last week and the sound was awful. It reminded me of a comedian years ago that used to cut words out when talking, I wish I could remember who it was.
I’m glad you got dressed for your food delivery, I had Iceland delivery on Thursday and the guy reversed down the path quickly when I told him I was staying back as I had covid.
Not looking forward to work on Monday, no one does my work so there will be loads of work from last week to catch up with.
Still only got this week then it’s half term. I’m off to Hunstanton with my family. It Doug’s birthday on Wednesday 19th October he would have been 83years. I already have a card for him I will put out. I’ve written a letter to him today in my journal, telling him I have got the bench and it’s for his birthday and Christmas present this year. I’m always writing to him and when I’ve finished my letter I read it out loud so he can hear what I’m telling him.
When the council put his bench in I will post a photo.
Catch up again tomorrow, to see how your loft is coming on.
Sending love
Debbie X
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I love the photos Neil, it’s alway nice to meet up with friends and I can see you have had a lovely day.
Sending love
Debbie x
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Hi Debbie
Thanks. Lovely day where I can forget my worries and concentrate on doing something I love. Two of these - Mayara( dark hair) and Anna Rose( red coat) are two of my best Ballet friends.
Mum would have been pleased I went
Have a pleasant evening
Neil x
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Hi Neil,
It’s always lovely to see your pics and the girls look really happy to see you. It’s good for the soul to escape for a few hours and enjoy what you love. Do you have another planned?
I woke up really early as usual and had a cup of tea in bed. Couldn’t get back to sleep so thought I’d make a start in the loft. I’d cut and fitted the carpet by 9.30 and am going back up there now to clear up and get everything back in place. Will clear the other side in prep for the last carpet. Might get it finished today.
Looking forward to my TOWIE tonight and I’m sure there’s something else at 8 but can’t remember what it is. Nice to get a surprise.
Lovely and sunny here. Wanted to get the bamboo roll painted but the creep is at home and will be lurking if I’m at the side of the house. It’s that intense nosiness that just irritates the hell out of me because I have no interest at all in anyone around me. Will wait until he’s at work next week and try to gauge the showers.
Will post pics later today of my carpets. I know it must be so boring to everyone but it’s what I’m doing at the mo and posting keeps me going. Will be pleased when its all done. Thinking of unboxing all of mams little xmas houses and setting up a display for her in the loft. Will probably unhinge me for the rest of the day so might leave it for now.
Hope you have something nice to do today. Any football? I avoid all sports on tv apart from tennis in the summer and love a bit of gymnastics. My new thing is court cam where peeps go mad in front of the judge. Love a bit of drama.
Lots of love xxx
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Hi Debbie,
So pleased you are covid free and able to get back to doing stuff again. Your week will go really quickly with all the work you’ll have lined up.
Does going to church make you feel ‘lighter’ and give you strength and reassurance? I googled the lovely church up the street and want to go, can imagine being there, but still haven’t made that leap yet. It’s the same with anything I do, the anticipation of doing it alone is immense. Theye have a prayer at 6 every day but I can wander in at any time during the week and just sit and enjoy the space. I’ve been there a few times, when the children were young and they did their carol service with school for xmas. It’s a beautiful building with lovely windows. I’ll take pics when I go.
I’m sure Doug will be chuffed with his bench and I can imagine him listening as you read aloud your journal. I tried doing that but found posting here better. I keep mam updated with stuff on her tribute site but it’s incredibly upsetting seeing her smiling at me in the photos and it always makes me cry. I miss her so much and can’t believe it’s nearly a year since she left. She’ll be 81 in January. I don’t know how I’d actually got through this time without her. One day, one hour, one minute at a time. It’s so incredibly painful.
Is your comedian Norman Collier? I Googled to see who came up and I’ve never heard of him but he does a faulty microphone thing.
Hope you’re enjoying your coffee rota. I’d love to be involved in something but just don’t seem able to.
Going back up to tidy the bit I’ve done and then prepare the other area. Will post pics later.
Lots of love xxx
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Hi all,
Finished the loft. Here’s pics of one side and the other is the same (different carpet). This was the loft wall where the creep drilled out the breeze blocks and climbed through into my house. He wouldn’t dare try it again but if he did he’d have to clear a load of stuff to get through. He was climbing through with all the rats. Wish I’d set up traps like in ‘Saw’ to catch him at it. Then I’d have evidence.
Went to the bin and saw the anti social one across the road up to no good. Don’t know what she was doing but she couldn’t hide the look on her face of being caught as I came round the corner. Think she was checking out my disabled bay badge because it’s a designated bay for just me to use. It’ll be killing her not knowing how or why I got it. She will have been one of the objections. Still waiting for the post to be put up for it. Then when I was back in the loft heard someone with big ladders. Hope it wasn’t the creep trying to get in my garden, though I doubt he’d do that in broad daylight. Living here is certainly an experience, like the neighbours from hell programme. None of them know how to behave themselves.
Thinking of mam when I was popping all her xmas stuff away, wondering how she could be here one day and then just not exist. I still cannot wrap my head around it. If I knew what was going on I’d be able to just fill in time until I met up with her again. But not knowing anything is killing me. I just need to know that she is happy wherever she is so I don’t need to worry about her. And I keep remembering every time I didn’t go over or didn’t answer the phone or whatever and wish I wasn’t me for any of the upset I might have caused her. I was so focused on becoming an artist I didn’t realise what was really important, being with mam. I couldn’t juggle everything all of the time. I was so exhausted. But if she’d come back I wouldn’t do anything apart from whatever she needed me to do. I would gladly burn all my work, years of dedication. It means nothing to me now. Everything I do is just filling in time. When I have a challenge ahead of me I am occupied for that time but when I’m finished there is just nothing again. A longing for her and for me to not be here because it’s too painful. I’d have chemo everyday if she would just come back for one minute.
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Hi Christine
Never say your pictures are boring because they are not and I think its nice to see what everyone is up to and a variety of different things.
Football this afternoon and as I speak we are losing . Sun gone in and overcast now.
I do have another theatre trip on Wed which is a play- The Crucible at the National Theatre for only £10- a bargain!
Always cheers me up if and I forget all my troubles and sadness, even if only for a day, when I go and see the Royal Ballet. When you actually meet them and they recognise you too that just gives me a huge boost. Cant wait to see them again sometime during the season.
Quiet day for me today.
Sending my love and best wishes
Neil x
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Hi @christine51, settled back at home quite well. First 48 hours were pretty roughed not helped by bringing home this cold/flu, still coughing two weeks later but never tested positive for covid so just good old fashioned lurgy I reckon.
I’m still not sure how I did the trip. But in many ways it was the sense that Mum was just always there with me or cheering me on from somewhere that helped. She had great stories to tell me of before I was born and I reckon I shall try to collect some up so when we meet again I’ll have some tales to tell though as I say - felt she was there all the time. I was severely agoraphobic for many years in my late teens/twenties and Mum was an absolute rock for me, think she still is.
In Park Guell there was a rosemary bush with a white feather on it and then a lemon coloured butterfly flew right into my face and then in front of me and I just kept following it and it lead me right to the very top and the 3 crosses monument. Can’t help but think that was all a ‘moment’
I do have more photos (of course!) but on my phone and the forum won’t display them so will have to change the picture format. The remaining ones are mainly food 
At the beginning o next year I am hoping to go with another friend to London for a couple of days to see a show.
For christmas Granddad will come and stay from Xmas Eve to New Year. His christmas present is I am taking us in May to stay in a castle in Cornwall. We know the family who have the castle, they used to come north and to our farm as they were great friends with land manager. Granddad raves about being able to see the castle and its gardens on Facebook and on some tv shows this year. The gardens are famous for introducing rhododendrons to the country.
I looked online and as with most places they are diversifying and have holiday cottages on the estate but also a very cute apartment to rent in the castle itself, so booked that for 4 nights. If Granddad comes here we can get a train down and a taxi straight to the place and just spend a few days looking around, they also have their own beach cove.
I am finding it very hard to keep this secret from him until Christmas day!!
So those are my next targets to think about.
I am very envious of how neat and sorted your loft is looking. Honestly, my house looks like an episode of hoarders! Since having this cough I haven’t had the energy to tidy properly. Feel a bit more with it today but also feeling blue and missing mum so just asked her to give me a zap of energy so I can clean the house!
Like many of us don’t think the nights cutting in and grey days help. Have bought a light box for my desk and do think that is helping.
Will be back with more Barcelona tales soon but I AM going to tidy up 
Beki x
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Love hearing that you can keep finding theatre bargains Neil! Your last ballet trip looks great and nice you could see the cast afterwards.
I still need to plan my trip for next year to see Unfriend. Tickets are very expensive. Well life is at the moment.
Went to dinner last night with a friend to mine and mums favourite place, first time I have been in since I lost her. It was heaving which is great for them. The food was priced as always has been but portions about half the size but I suppose this is the choice places have to make to try and stay afloat. It was very tasty though and being a greedy guts the portion size was probably better for me anyway!
Hope the football picks up!
Beki x
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Hi Christine,
Well done on finishing the carpet in your loft you must be tired out now.
Norman Collier, thank you for finding it, I looked him up on YouTube, you forget how things were back then, things he said and did won’t be allowed now. But the talking into a faulty microphone routine is still funny.
Church went okay today, me and another lady did the collection and of course I was on the tea/coffee rota.
Yes, going to church does lift my spirits, I love singing hymns and songs of praise, and prayer time is important.
My faith has never been dented losing Doug, in fact I think it is stronger. I know that even with the every day pain of not having him with me, I know he is now pain free and in a better place, and one day I’ll be with him again.
I do try if I can to read my Bible every day, and the power of prayer is important to me. We don’t always get the answers we are looking for but accept it’s part of the bigger plan. I am always singing christian music at home, I bet my neighbours love hearing Graham Kendrick songs being belted out.
There is nothing so peaceful as sitting in a church, I often visit different churches to look at the beautiful architecture and stain glass windows, in ore of the skilled craftsmen that have built it.
One day when you are ready you will make the leap and go to to the church up the road.
I’m not doing much this afternoon, just listened to some music after lunch, I love music from the shows.
Now watching Shrek, children’s films are much better than adult ones.
I hoping my sense of taste and smell comes back soon, everything tastes like cardboard and smells funny, not that I’ve eaten any cardboard.
Speak again soon
Love Debbie x
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Hi Beki
Glad you went for dinner with a friend and that is was packed. Good for the business but if you’re not getting as much on your plate then not good for you.
Hope you will be able to go to your play next year. Some shows are ridiculously priced and they wonder why some are closing.
Yesterday was very enjoyable and I felt normal again. Mum was watching over me!
The football ended 1-1 so not too bad in the end.
Speak again soon
Sending love and best wishes
Neil x
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Norman Collier was it not?? Hated him x
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Hi Neil,
Your Saturday seems to have been a great day and you look so happy in the photos with your dancer friends.
What a cracking bargain getting your £10 ticket and if it was the last one then it was certainly meant for you to buy.
I wonder if the 50+ in Scotland can get their boosters now but I don’t think I’ll bother getting anymore as I only ever got them in first place for mum and as they keep saying it’s mutating the jags may not work anymore 
x however with you being in a big city I don’t blame you for getting your booster x
Least the football was a draw so that’s something 
x
Any plans for during the week? And UC meetings planned? I’m working 7 days straight this week as manager is on hols so won’t get back up to the Loch until next Sunday.
Thank you for posting the photos as always x
Hope the beginning of your week finds you well 
x
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Hi Christine,
Sorry i haven’t replied sooner but was knee deep in badger setts yesterday and then have been working all day today and will be until next Sunday when my next day off is 
x
Is the blocked phone calls something knew as I don’t remember you saying about it before? Weird that it’s both your mobile and your home phone x If you are with BT then you can report the nuisance calls and they will either block them or help you find out what the number is…unless it’s changed. Pretty sure aswell you can put your phone in a setting whereby it automatically blocks an unrecognised number or withheld number…have a look and see if you can do that.
I think the guys at the skip would appreciate you going back even if it’s to just let them know you’re ok as they may be worried about you and absolutely no shame in crying and they probably haven’t thought anything negative about you. Take them some biscuits or chocolates as they will appreciate them x
Your loft looks so tidy and the carpet looks amazing so well done x
Are you sure your friend has gone in a huff about you giving his cat chicken? Seems a bit odd unless the cat has an insensitivity to chicken. Have you phoned rather than text?
Glad to hear you’re getting your new fence…about time too x
I’m going to invest in one of those doorbells that is also cctv as convinced kids next door keep coming into my garden and breaking my wee border fences…either that or Dougie the postie is constantly drunk x
Anyway keep swimming and keep doing what you feel you want to do and will catch up with you soon 
x
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Hi Suzanne
Thought I might as well get the booster as it is on offer. Will get the flu one as well .
Felt really good just like my old self yesterday. Theatre, ballet especially really lifts my spirits and gives me something to look forward to
Counselling tomorrow and UC appt in next couple of days . Wednesday is theatre day seeing The Crucible at the National Theatre for £10 . Train fare costs more than that!
Hope the week is kind to us all
Sending love and best wishes
Neil x
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Hello Christine
I can’t believe it’s been such a long time since I have been here on the forum. I have got absolutely no comprehension of time since both my losses and often have to think what part of the year I’m in. Still doing incredibly stupid things. Recently I’ve moved a tiny phone sim my brother had left in the kitchen when the DPD delivery man was coming to do a phone switch and later randomly found it in a bag of sequins! It’s a works phone and Id have been up sh** creek without a paddle had I not found it. Then I tipped half a mug of tea in the bin next to the kitchen sink instead of in the sink. Half the time I just feel “absent” My sleep is totally erratic as yours seems to be. I can’t remember if waking early signals depression or anxiety. Can’t remember which way round it is though! Morning anxiety has been bad for me recently. Not sleeping takes it out of your body doesn’t it. Then I’ll be dreaming all the time and feel either upset or flipin crap all day.
I was really fascinated with your attic makeover Christine. It’s a great little hideaway. Hope you have a kettle up there and some snacks. It reminds me as kids how we would make dens in the back garden for some reason! I noticed you had a new blog link, I’ll go back and have a look afterwards. If I’d looked beforehand I’d lose track of where I’m up to with posts!
I’ve booked a Covid booster for the 21st. It’s in the shopping centre so at least I don’t have to visit the Hospital or Surgery. Was invited for Flu but not made appt for that yet. Not really been taking much care of myself these last few months.
Love your garden photos. Sometimes seeing what others are doing gives a bit more of a drive and inspiration. Still no tip visits so I’ve been trying to condense what there is to a small size but it’s not easy. Will just have to keep chipping away at it myself.
It’s a pity I don’t have any interesting bits of news to share isn’t it, well not nice news anyway! I’ve been trying to enter a few competitions online. I did win a tiny Andrex Puppy soft toy but nothing else! I’ve been doing one of those Diamond Art kits for a bit of anxiety relief but seeing as I’ve got 2packs of “diamonds” mixed up it’s not currently having the desired effect!
Are you out today Christine, swimming? Is porscha OK? Can see one of your friends has let you down with the carpeting. I know you are not one to let that set you back but I can see how it changes your plans a bit. People can be odd sometimes.
Princess Leia Buns! I can just imagine them. You must have thought you were the bees knees! Where did all the time go!
Catch you later Christine, I’ll look at the blog too.
Much love xx
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Hi Neil
Lovely photos of you and the show stars. You’ll be an old pro at mixing with all these artistic performers. Good to hear you’ve got a bit of your old self back. Sometimes you just get living inside your own head that it gets a bit hard to escape sometimes doesn’t it.
Got my appt for Covid and hoping the can do the flu at same time. They did last year but things change don’t they.
Enjoy Wednesday. (I can well imagine the train fare cost!)
xx
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Love all these photos Debbie, Beki and Suzanne.
xx
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Hi Tina
Just a quick hello before my counselling shortly.
I see in your post to Christine that you are having your booster jab Friday 21st- I am too. Got it booked for 9.30 am. Flu jab available from my other pharmacy so will probably get that done next week!
I have those days too where I havent got a clue where I have put things and wonder why I keep doing silly things and lose concentration that I didnt before.
Going to my shows keeps me sane and this weekend( Saturday especially) I felt really good . With the luck I’ve had with tickets and stage door I am sure Mum is looking down and helping me.
Right must go as my counselling ( phone again) will be beginning soon
Sending love and best wishes
Neil x
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