Hi Neil,
Sending you love too. Just had lunch in the car in the rain with my niece. Just as lovely as sitting in the park. Arranged to see her 3 days a week for lunch and will swim tomorrow if she can see whatās happening with the boyfriend and train strikes. Her work is full on Mon to Fri so she only has the weekend to see him. I said to her about wondering if she didnāt want to see me and she laughed saying it was totally not the case at all. I can see that now. She never gets a minute to rest when sheās not at work, juggling with trying to do things and see people. Enjoys our little lunches. Itās nice preparing sarnies and getting crisps and chocs at the garage on the way. Iāll work in a swim after on my own like I used to do as itās been a month since I last went, and nearly a month before that. If I go tomorrow (and will see my little nephew too) it will get me back into it again.
Had a terrible fright when I was parked up and getting all my bits together. The creep arrived home and couldnāt park fast enough (he usually takes his time) so I had to get in the house as fast as I could. Whenever I go out (not often) he seems to arrive back just after me which is suspicious, given that it can be different times of the day on different days so no pattern to my week. Given that Iāve caught him following me to therapy, swimming and Sainsburyās it is a very real possibility.
Was thinking of doing a bit more gardening this afternoon but Iām so shattered after yesterday. Itās an easy job, collecting the slate pieces from the path for the pond and laying the new pink gravel. Hope I have enough as itās unavailable again on Amazon. Cheaper than buying in bulk with a Ā£30 delivery fee on top. And bags are easier for me to lug up the garden than shoveling a half ton myself at the front of house with all the neighbours gaping.
Might watch a bit more Ab Fab. Reminds me of watching it with mam when it was on telly when I still lived at home.
Looking forward to my gardening programmes tonight.
Lots of love xxx
Hi Suzanne,
OMG! Your car frightens me!!! I would not even try driving that. I have difficulty with my dads old sat nav (ancient) and have never driven automatic never mind electric. No clue other than how to drive my own car. Looks very fab though. Thank goodness you had no āincidentsā. Love the wheels. Reminds me of my first car, a soft top cabriolet with proper wheels and a mighty good sound system where my boyfriend wired it all up through huge stereo speakers we had sitting on the back seat. The car would pound with techno, jungle, drum and bass, happy hardcore. Ran it into the ground until the engine was buggared and not worth fixing. Have had no interest in cars since. But I do still like a Mondeo.
Shame your hols is over but fab that you found your root waiting for you. Amazed it isnāt already dead. We shall see if it springs to life. Maybeās give it a little massage and sing to it to coach it along! How did Cal cope with his cattery? Bet heās in a massive huff. Porsch would be. Or heāll be beside himself with love for you. A mix of the two.
Had lunch with my niece again today. Just as nice sitting in the car in the rain. Her grandad is on the mend and starting to eat again so that is a massive relief. My sister is all of those things and has separated me, the dad of her kids and his parents from seeing them by moving away and cutting all contact. So for my little nephew he has lost his family in one go. But still sees my dad when he visits once a week from what I can gather. She is the angriest person I have ever known and will not let it go, despite having moved away. She has gone to great lengths to punish him and anyone who questions her about it and is not joining in with her hatred. Iām just glad I have contact with my niece and nephew (through swimming). Have arranged to meet for lunch 3 times a week and will swim when she is able, hopefully tomorrow. Iām so thrilled that Iāll see her regularly and Iāll start swimming again myself like I used to. Itās been a month since I went, and a month before that so not worth having a membership if I donāt start going again. Looking forward to the outdoor pool in the summer.
Love that Iām the best auntie ever! Itās strange that I never wanted kids but have always been āfun auntieā and it clearly annoyed the hell out of my sister that her kids really loved me growing up. I was always tormenting them! or getting up to mischief rummaging through cupboards for treats. Iād squeal with excitement for a car bootie at weekends and when they stayed over mine weād sit up waiting to feed the hedgehogs in my garden. My little nephew is missing out on so much now that she has moved them away. I would have continued doing everything we used to do before mam left. It would have been hard but I would have done eventually. I know the kids miss everything that was our normal life. I canāt understand why my sister wouldnāt want any of that for them. Sheās spiting them because of her own issues.
Anyway, did you have an amazing holiday? And did it rain much? We had thunder yesterday which is always exciting for me. Porsch got a fright as we were still in the garden before it started lashing down. Getting back is always a mix of sadness because the good times are over but glad to be home in your own bed surrounded by your own things. It is for me anyway. Havenāt been on hols in years.
Just had my nasturtian and wild flower seeds delivered. Have to order mire compost again. I can always tell how tired I am when Iām not straight on it, whatever needs doing. I seem to have big blasts of energy and go into overdrive and then start winding down until I have to give in and sleep to recharge my batteries. Wish I could just keep going.
Are you straight back to work? Be nice if you had some time to adjust. Iām sure there will have been lots of dramas to catch up on while you were away. And are you back up the Loch at the weekend? Still havenāt sorted my bike chain. That will be my source of freedom, whizzing round the park after lunch with niece.
Hereās some more garden adventures to inspire:
Lots of planting up over the last few days. Anything left open in a pot will be ravaged by the fox or squirrel so everything has to be covered using bamboo, trellis, pots with gravel, wire mesh, twigs.
Removed one layer of decking board in the shady raised bed to improve the look and have created potted platforms where there is no depth in planting. Had to level up with bricks and gravel.
Found an old planter to create a stable platform
for the large plant pot
with a bonus cave area for any creature needing a home.
So this is the entry into the shady bit with the huge trees. Foxgloves love sun to develop their colour according to Google. I always thought they loved deep shade. I can move them in summer if it gets too hot.
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Love all your photos as always and you put so much work into it I do hope you do take some time to yourself to enjoy it x
Iām so happy to hear of your lunches with your niece and so glad she was able to tell you personally that she does want to see you as that must be such a weight off your mind. Also if you are meeting her it will be a way that you will actually eat something x
Yeah Benji comes in all my trips and heās been to America, Canada, all round Europe lolā¦.a right wee freeloader lol x when he goes in hand luggage Iām sure they do think Iām simple and often they may not be too far off lol x
Am hoping to get down again about November but it all depends on money but will remain optimistic I will.
Back to work tomorrow so had a couple of days off between getting home and going back but I just hate Sundays as nothing but twats about
x
Was up the Loch this morning doing my Osprey watch shift and BBC were filming Michael Portillo for his train programme or something so I may be on TV lol x Then back up in the afternoon for my usual shift and the place was mental busy as the first chick hatched today so it was mental x
Anyway Iām gonna go get my tea as didnāt have time for lunch so will love you and leave for just now and chat soon x
Hi Suzanne, is where you volunteer at Loch Garten, I wonder as I have emails from RSPB and in todayās it was featuring this area and there was a live cam to watch the ospreyās.
I do hope your on TV, I like Michael Portillo and his train programme, I will be watching out for you.
Debbie xx
Hi Suzanne,
Glad you had sometime between getting back and getting back into work. Love that Benji is seeing the world! Wish I was as adventurous. Still wish Iād got to India backpacking. Was watching Michael Palin trecking through the Himalayas and it brought it all back, that adventurous spirit I had many years ago. Had I not found the lump I would have been off on my travels. Clearly it wasnāt meant to be. I do believe we have a destined path, like the trunk of a tree. We may take various branches in life but we are destined for whatever is laid out for us in this life. Really enjoyed seeing the oldies living out there. Excellent health service and a safe living environment. Canāt imagine itās anything like it used to be before covid.
My gardening is really taking itās toll this week. Had to have another nap when I got in from my swim. Lovely seeing my niece / little nephew. I learned also that my dad only visits them when he wants something doing. I assumed he went over every week. And my sis up north isnāt great at keeping in touch with them either so itās not me. Seems mam really was the one holding us all together. She canāt have known just how special she is. Itās amazing how we have dispersed as a family. My niece said when they do see my dad he mentions that he hasnāt spoken to me for ages (2 years!) and asks what Iāve been up to. I just donāt understand him at all. But then I never did.
Planning on having my niece / nephew stay over next Fri so we can have a little celebration on the Sat but wondering if it will be too much for me. The two sofas pull out into beds so thereās enough room but I can imagine the chaos! Exhausting just thinking about it. I seem to have run out of energy again.
Exciting news about the chick hatching. I saw my fox tonight. Iād just put his food out and was in the sitting room with the curtains open. Heād come down the path and was watching me. I saw him again from the kitchen window so he was out there a while eating his food. There were a few of them last night screaming in the garden and when I topped up the bird food today I noticed all my fat balls and cakes had been devoured! The starlings particularly love them. So lovely watching the birds.
Hope itās fine tomorrow so I can crack on with my gravel path. Collecting slate Iād laid from the old garden and Iāll use it in the pond. Just thinking about it wears me out. Had to order bags of manure as I canāt get hold of the organic compost Iāve been using. OMG its gonna pong! Be good to not have garden jobs waiting for me every day and be free to do nothing.
Hope you are on telly! Is he the one with the lairy trousers?
Canāt believe Iām in bed before10.30on a Sat night! Just watching a bit of The Book of Eli but Iāve seen it so many times. Love all that bleak end of the world survival stuff where peeps start eating each other to survive. Throw in a few zombies and itās my dream film.
Porsch is snoring in her drawer after a little snooch on the sofa.
Hope work goes without too many dramas. Be good to catch up on all the gos while you were away.
Will pop in tomorrow with updates on my path if I get out there. Creep will be at home so depends on if heās creeping. He arrived home within a minute of me again. Trying not to be para about him following me. Heās so loud and lairy.
Lots of love xxx
Hi Christine
Iām certain I had a reply half written to you and then fell asleep but now I have come back to finish it I canāt find it. So Iām thinking did I really write a reply or was it in my imagination/dream. Iām sure this degree of memory slips isnāt right. Given my Mumās condition I canāt help but wonder.
You made me laugh about being in bed so early because I was wishing it was bedtime at 9.30pm! Then I got caught up in doing something so it was actually 11.00pm. Cant say it was through tiredness, more mental exhaustion if that makes sense. My mind wonāt shut down even though I feel so flippinā weary. I think I wanted to go to bed to retreat from everything. Zoe doesnāt get taken out so sheās bouncing off the walls (not literally this time at the moment) and wonāt stop barking during the day so Iām scared the neighbours will report us for noise. He is running me ragged and is playing ball with her in the living room - who does that? So Iāve collected 15 dog balls and hidden them in the washer.
I was reading along your post and you mentioned something about wanting to do something but your Mam āwouldnāt approveā. Thatās exactly whatās been getting to me this week, more so than usual. I know Mum wouldnāt approve of how heās abusing the property and Iām losing the ability to keep it respectable and Iām drowning in everything. Iām starting to ramble and not make sense now so I best change the subject!
Another thing that made me smile in your post was when you were talking about the easiest jobs that brought the quickest rewards and with all the work you put into your garden Iād say you put in the most work and effort possible, and then some!
Iām thrilled you have been getting to see your Niece. How lovely. You are right about how much easier life could be if people werenāt creating stress for the sake of just doing so. I was alarmed at the thought of having two young ones to stat overnight! Iām not child-oriented anyway but Iād be an absolute nervous wreck! Porsche will wonder whatās going on! Sorry to hear Creep has raised his head above the parapet again. Itās been awful round here today with it being so warm. Everyone has been on their front lawn, theyve brought their living/dining rooms out on the streets. There was so much going on I just couldnāt walk up the road. Tonight there was a fight at the top of the road. As soon as there is a bit of sun people turn a bit bonkers.
Do you read Christine to wind down? I thought Iād give the internet surfing a miss and downloaded a book from Google Play but couldnāt focus on the story. If you are going to read a book then for me it has to be a ārealā book.
Yeah, I understand about feeling older. Iām exactly the same. Both physically and mentally in my case but Iām also worried a lot about vulnerability as well, especially the further in the future I imagine. Happy little soul arenāt I!! Mum often would say I spread doom and gloom everywhere!
Well Iāll say goodnight and find one or two pictures.
Enjoy your Sunday
Much love xx
Hi Christine
Just a few pictures. One is off Zoe in the sun. One is the Medlar Tree getting a bit bigger, one is of my hanging sparkly thing in itās temporary place and one is off a tree trunk I was chopping with an axe!
As you can see, nothing really happening in the garden!
Sorry Christine forgot to say how fab your pictures are. Some vibrant colours amongst them.
Xx
Hi Suzanne.
Those photos are brilliant Suzanne. The rose one where the roses are laid flat has a lovely tranquil feel about it so I have been cheeky and downloaded it!
Who are the Tw**'s at work tomorrow, the customers or the staff!!
Much love xx
Morning everyone
Are we all glad Eurovision is over for another year? Seen so many posts on social media and it baffles me why some people are taking it so seriously but there you go.
Having a quiet weekend but a huge theatre week coming up with both parts of Harry Potter And The Cursed Child in one day on Wednesday. It will be epic!
Huge week for West Ham as well, playing today and a massive Euro game on Thursday.
Loving all the pics that have been posted and reading what everyone has been up to.
Sending everyone love and best wishes.
Catch up soon
Neil x
Hi Neil, yes Iām glad Eurovision is over, sick of seeing all the hype last week, havenāt watched it since the early Terry Wogan days.
Enjoy Harry Potter, so envious of you going, wish I could sneak in with you. Good luck to The Hammerās too.
Enjoy whatās left of the weekend.
Love Debbie xx
Hi all.
Neil, Iām not sure what kind of showing āThe Cursed Childā is but it sure sounds sinister! Long may your adventures of the cultural type last, they must have done wonders for your well-being. You sound as if you have a very positive tone right now. I donāt get the Eurovision hype either although I didnāt see much of it. Iām sure it wasnāt so outlandish and controversial when I watched it decades ago.
Hope you enjoy the football!!
Hi Nick and Palou
I was stressing to Christine about thinking Iād written an unsent message and that I couldnāt find it but in reality it was the message to yourself and Palou! I often alternate between my phone and tablet which is why Iām such a scattycat with my postings I think. Anyway, enough of the ramblings, I hope you are both ok and finding a bit of tranquility and warmth from the milder weather we are having.
Look after yourselves.
Hi Christine
How are you doing at the moment? Probably having a relax after a hard dayās garden graft no doubt!
I canāt write do much Iām so tired. Absolutely dead-beat. (do people use that expression nowadays?, Iām sure Iām reverting back to olden times language). Had a hard few days, canāt really say in an open post as one of these days I could get recognized by what I write and then the proverbial really would hit the fan but suffice to say Iām struggling a bit and donāt know how to approach things.
I still keep wanting to do all these lovely craft ideas but for the life of me cannot find any motivation at all to do so. Donāt know whatās got into me. I was reading about your Nasturtiums and I used to grow them a lot, they were so easy then I noticed theyād get a lot of black fly on the stems and it put me off a bit.
Hope relations are still going as well as possible with the Niece/nephews.
Also, I have a confession to make in that I wonāt get to the Post office to post your birthday gift till the middle of the week, but itās in hand. I wonāt forget!
Iām exhausted, Iāll have to go now but Iāll pop in tomorrow to say hello.
Much love to all xx
Hi Tina,
Love your sparkly hangings! Thatās a summer project for me once I finish all my other bits. Zoe looks like butter wouldnāt melt! I know sheās a handful. Iā, having second thoughts now on the kids staying over. I can image the chaos and also the creep lurking watching my niece. Not so sure itās a good itās a good idea. Might suggest they get on a bus early and I meet them half way. Was hoping to do a barby but I donāt even know how to turn the gas on! Not a cook at all, never mind much of one! Will have to think it through a bit more.
I was very pleased tonight to meet my fox in person. I was sitting doing my puzzle and it was suddenly there, watching me when I looked up. Must be sleeping in the hutch, even though I was fiddling about all day up there, digging out the bits of slate from the path and laying my new gravel path. The slate came from the old garden so itās special and needs to be used in a place I can appreciate it, rather than be covered up. Ran out of gravel again and canāt get the colour at the mo to finish the job. Will just have to mix and match.
Your medlar is spectacular! Iām rather worried that I had to order manure because I couldnāt get compost. I know fruit and veg, and I think roses, will thrive in it but not sure about the bamboo and acer (everything on offer so worth it for planting up the new trellis area, with ferns and hostas. Just hope they all take.
I canāt take any more pics until I get my new sd card. So Iāll just have to explain what Iāve done today - repositioned the bench at the top pond and used the paving stones to position 2 water butts (secured to the fence and filled).Dug out the slate and created a new gravel path to the small pond. Repositioned the Diana fountain (āa right clartā as mam would say!) and the electric box (tricky but now in position). Cleared the area at the trellis and realised I should have got bigger tubs. Will use the space at the top of the pond (the new area) for fruit trees(extension of my orchard area). Found an old puzzle book which was exciting (so easily pleased now!) Discovered my foxgloves arenāt doing well at all in the large tub. Wonder why I bother trying to nurture things which I know have already not thrived many times in the past. Very tired and not pleased with what Iāve done so far.
I was chatting to my neighbour / friend (the one with the cats) and explaining that when Iām focused on the garden or whatever then I can keep the upset at bay for a short time. But as soon as Iām just sitting with tv the crying begins. He thinks I should be over it by now and that I choose to be melancholic. I get so angry when Iām told not to feel. When I asked how I stop (because who chooses to be so upset?) he couldnāt tell me. People are full of advice about what to do but not how to do it. Mam wouldnāt want me crying about her all the time. But when itās there I canāt stop it.
Itās been so sunny and warm today. Lots of barbies and neighbours in gardens. Now I have the fence extended I feel more cocooned. The creep stayed away so I had a full day of getting bits done without him lurking.
I am sooo impressed with your tree trunk demolition. I would have gladly taken it off your hands and displayed it somewhere around the pond. Is it for your log pile? Those bits will make great kindling when dried. That axe looks like it weighs a ton! You could still use it as a little seat.
You mention about your memory, or lack of. I have it too. Sure itās all part of grief but also the menopause for me. Plus generally the joys of getting older. I can start chatting to my therapist and completely not remember what Iām trying to say. Brain freeze.
Tina, Iām not surprised that you feel youāre drowning when youāre always having to tidy up after your bro and Zoe. Iāll not get started on how disrespectful he is to you but also to your mamās house.
Thank you babe saying about my hard work. I do feellike Iām reaching the end at last now that most of the trellis is finished and planting underway. My hands are aching and my skin is like sand paper. Be nice to just sit and enjoy it all. Dreading the watering in the heat. But adding the trellises has actually created more shade which is good.
Great to hear your neighbours are fighting in the street. Sounds like mine! The sun does make people a bit crazy. Certainly on the roads.
I am so exhausted again. Canāt stop yawning. Will watch a bit of Ab Fab on facebook until Iām falling asleep.
Hope my manure delivery is soon tomorrow so I can still meet my niece for lunch in the park. Looking forward to it.
Lots of love hun xxx
Hi Neil,
I have managed to avoid all Eurovision as I always do. Totes exhausted from the garden again(posted to Tina about what Iāve been doing but no pics until get another sd card). I have got a lot done but feeling quite annoyed but donāt know why. Will be so glad when itās finished.
You lucky thing with your massive day out on Wed. Just what you need. A real boost. And the football too. You have such a lot going on. Looking forward to the pics!
Iāll be feeling quite lost when Iāve done all my big jobs. It keeps me going, a reason to get cracking on a morning. Not looking forward to taking the hose round in the heat. Weāre meant to be getting Spainās heatwave in June.
So very tired again. Be nice to fall asleep without aching all over!
See you tomorrow x
Lots of love xxx
Hi again Tina,
I managed to get a packet of nasturtians and wild flower seeds from Amazon. Waiting to top up the bathtub with my manure (not my own!!!) and will plant with the fairies. They need rearranging again but Iāll have to move all the plants I potted up. Always reminds me of the old garden and being little. I was amazed at the variety of colours. Always thought they were just orange.
Hope the stink will deter the creep from going in his garden! My little nephew has a terrible gag reflex and I can imagine him trying not to vom all over when he visits. I always find it quite amusing!
If you want some quiet inspiration check out Pinterest for gardens and general craftiness. Havenāt been on there for ages. Really must get back into researching and collecting what I find.
Canāt believe Iām going to be 53. Itās a big number, but still just a collection of numbers! Doesnāt seem to have any connection to me.
Really must try to wind down now. Ab Fab here I come.
Lots of love xxx
Hello again Christine
Itās about 4.30am and just woke. Iāll be knackered when I have to get up at 6.30am.
The tree trunk is one of four we had left when we had to have a 40odd year old tree cut down in our garden. I wouldnāt have chopped it up by choice as it had containers on it with plants but I think there has been woodworm or something attacking it as it is brittle inside in some parts and not like wood at all. Canāt really have it in the house for the woodburner in case itās infected.
I donāt know what today will bring. Iāll make sure he is up at 6.30 then set to cleaning. Iām not tidy obsessed by nature so not aiming for perfection just respectful. To me itās sad to see what someone thought a lot of being disrespected.
You made me laugh saying you arenāt kitchen oriented, Iām pretty much the same! You could take them out to eat, it would be less stressful on you. It will be nice to have them around no doubt. They grow up so fast. As the eldest of three I didnāt have a desire to have kids. People feel sorry for for those with with no kids and thereās a bit of stigma attached to the childless but it shouldnāt be that way.
Well itās almost 5.10am, letās see if I can get some sleep before 6.30. Next door is on earlies and has got his TV on loud so itās unlikely!
Much love and have a good day xx
Hi Christine
I am always so impressed with the hard work you always put into your garden. As someone who lives in a flat I always look forward to seeing what you have been doing. I wouldnāt know where to start!
Yes a big theatre week this week and hoping my seat is going to be OK as the Palace theatre is notoriously not great in the cheaper seats- depends on height, legroom etc. At least I get two intervals and a two hour break between the two parts!
Cant believe its now a year and a half since our Mums have bern gone- roughly around the same time for a few of us here. Hard to get my head around that. I see its Mental Health Awareness Week and lots of organisations like Mind and Samaritans are offering their services more than ever this week so could be useful for some of us here if we need them. I have certainly benefitted from someone to talk to and have that support during my darkest days.
Off early to do some shopping shortly. Hope you have a peaceful day.
Sending love and best wishes
Neil x
Hi Tina,
I really do feel for you with the not sleeping. Itās torture. I zonk out early (before 12) but then Iām awake from 4.30 onwards and when Porsch hears me sheās up and about wanting to be fed. If I donāt sheāll yammer on until give in. I never wanted kids either, no urge to. I think thereās one in every family! People really donāt understand that itās a choice not to dedicate my whole life to someone else. Some think itās unnatural and others selfish! If I was a mam Iād be a stickler for the rules and no faffing about! Work hard, do well, expect a lot out of life. Thatās my general attitude. It can be exhausting though, living up to that unrealistic bar I set myself.
I am so aching! Waiting for my compost manure. Just googled it about what does / doesnāt like it. I couldnāt get general compost so Iām winging it and see what happens.
Honestly, I am so aching with the gardening! Once summer hits Iāll not be doing anything in the heat. Maybeās a bit of tidying up. Iāll have to get the manure on the beds so it can settle before being baked. I love the idea of no dig gardening. Googled it and it keeps the existing eco system intact.
Just investigated the big thud at the back gate which I have opened for my delivery. Discovered a massive pap in the middle of the gate path! Looked suspiciously human! That is how suspicious I am of them round here. Thank goodness I came across it in time or the man wouldnāt be able to bring in the bags for me. Hope to get it soI can join my niece at lunchtime.
Have a good day , even if it is cleaning! My least fave job but once I get going it is very satisfying. Iāll be back later letting you know just how vile the manure is! Not looking forward to it now Iām getting it.
Lots of love xxx