HI Nicola,
You are lucky to have your mam’s bench which holds so many memories. It represents who she is and that’s why it’s so hard. But you will be able to sit with her on it in time. Imagine her there with you all. Can I ask, what happened to her dog? I always worry for the animals when a person leaves. They don’t understand what has happened and will be waiting for their love to return. That’s why I can’t leave my Porscha behind.
Your children will be dealing with their loss in the only way they can, through play. It’s good that they are expressing themselves. Your eldest may be able to smell mor mor. I could smell the candle from the chapel of rest, very strongly, when I was really upset after the service. I felt my mam’s presence and even turned round to ask if she was there. Children are very open to spiritual worlds. Your mam must be watching over you all and that is a great comfort for you. Take refuge in it. I know the pain you feel. It may soften in time or live along side you. But your children will always be a source of joy and comfort to you. Lots of love xxx
Hi Suzanne
I was just saying to Christine that I should have had a text from the delivery firm Wickes use but by 7.30pm I’d heard nothing so I rang Wickes and it turned out the panels were out of stock but no-one had rung to tell me the delivery wasn’t happening now. He said he could possibly source one from another branch and get it brought up to his store to send out to me. It turns out this branch is here at Chorley where I am. It’s getting more like the three Stooge’s or a Mr Bean sketch every day.
The guy next door doesn’t have people coming round, it’s his Mum’s house. He goes to them. He probably doesn’t know the whole street can hear him on the phone in his garden!
I wish I had a garden like Christine’s. It’s like you’ve fallen down the rabbit hole in Alice in Wonderland.
Mum and my brother bought the family home. It’s not mine, I came back after I lost my Husband with a view to returning but then Mum got ill and I’m still here. They got maximum discount. Nice of your neighbour to have done that with the flowers. No-one here has said a word. Don’t feel embarrassed about the misjudgement, it’s just one of those things.
I’m just distracting myself at the moment but not in a healthy way as at some point I’ll have to accept things but right now it’s what my brain is telling me to do. If I were to be locked in a room with only my thoughts for distraction I think I’d just have a mental collapse. Do you ever have a strange fleeting sensation that nothing has changed? Then you remember? Hope you are as OK as you can be.
Did you decide against a puppy in the end?
Hope the 2nd part of week is kind to you.
xx
Hi Tina,
So pleased to hear form you. The whole fence situation really is getting ridiculous now. It will get finished eventually but when that is could be anyone’s guess. It seems there’s no responsibility or continuity in service. You really should complain. Apart from getting monies refunded you might get some free vouchers to say sorry. You never know. You could then treat yourself.
Glad you like the photos! I do my own photography for my artwork so have just really taught myself. Did a bit in college and enjoyed it. The garden is looking very bare just coming out of winter apart from a few blasts of colour in the pots. But I’ve enjoyed being busy and can sleep well now (through sheer exhaustion) so it’s working it’s magic in some way. Mam would be pleased with my progress and dad even thought it looked good after his comments the other day about how I should tidy it up.
I know that thought you have of checking your mam. I have that about phoning mam to tell her what I’ve been doing. I keep wondering why I haven’t spoken to her in a while. And it feels so real. Then it hits me like a slap in the face. I suppose its a way of not getting too comfortable with the false reality of moving on.
How wonderful to have found your old catalogues. So precious. I still have the gardening magazines mam gave me when she had finished with them. I had given her a subscription for the year for Mothers Day I think as something different. I bought her Mothers Day card today online (a 3D bird cage). She will love it and I’ll post it to her tribute site. I don’t know why I’m doing it other than to keep showing her how much I love her. Just because she isn’t actually here doesn’t mean she doesn’t exist. I was never sentimental before she left and now I know I will keep everything I buy her forever.
I hope you do something special for yourself tomorrow if you don’t have to tackle the fence again. Look at it as a win.
Tons of love xxx
Hello Neil
How are you? Is it today you are going to the restaurant? I hope everything is manageable, even enjoyable. I can imagine as you say, it will be hard but you sound prepared and determination is half the battle already won.
What is it you are seeing at the Theatre? Hope that doesn’t sound nosey, just interested! Are there any well-known actors in the productions that you see from time to time?
I’m very apprehensive about Mother’s Day. There are three of us siblings and I don’t think any of us want to start the conversation on what to do.
Hope you have a few good days.
xx
Hello Nic
I’m truly sorry for your loss. I hope talking on the forum helps. You are always most welcome here.
Much love
xx
Hi Tina, I love that my garden conjures up Alice in Wonderland! Because it’s a creation over time (15 years this summer) I think I stop seeing it. Will try looking at it through fresh eyes x
Morning Nicola,
Always Glastonbury…that was our place 
x even if driving about always based ourselves there.
That’s heartbreaking about your daughter and I can only imagine how difficult it will be to try explain to her what has happened if you don’t understand yourself 
x
I believe truly that all our mums are still with us and see what we see so I’m sure she saw the cards x
Better head to work so will catch up with you all later x
Wishing you all a peaceful day X
Hi Tina
Yes going to the restaurant today. Had some anxiety before I went to bed last night but feel OK this morning, so far !
Looking forward to the theatre on Saturday . I’ve seen quite a few famous people in stage and will be seeing another, Ralph Fiennes, in the new play Straight Line Crazy. I’ve met a few famous people at the stage door- Katherine Jenkins, Jim Broadbent, Joanne Froggatt, Brian Conley , Alfie Boe, Bill Pullman , Nicholas Lyndhurst are some of them I’ve met over the last few years
And with Mothers’s Day looming we have to get through it the best we can but we are all here for each other
Hope Wednesday is a good day for us all, Tina
Best wishes
Neil x
Hi Christine,
The dog is now living with my sister. She is a boxer dog and my sister has a boxer dog also so now she has 2. She seems to be settling in ok. It was a worry at first but she seems to be doing ok.
Nicola xxx
Hi Suzanne.
Not too far from me then. I used to work in Glastonbury. We also had our mums wake at my sister and brother in laws restaurant there. It’s a lovely town.
Nicola xxx
Two lovely photos there Neil. Wishing you the best for today.
x
Hi everyone
Well, I managed to do it. Went to the same restaurant at the same time on the same day that Mum and I used to four months after she passed. It helped my neighbour was there and the place had been decorated. Had a lovely mushroom omelette with salad which was a regular meal for me there.
Had some nerves and anxiety last night but managed to hold it together . Mum would have been pleased that I did it .
Hope all of your days have been good so far but if not that is OK because we all understand
Best wishes
Neil x
Hi Neil
That’s wonderful. I am really pleased you managed to go. It’s great you had a friend with you as well.
I can imagine it’s made you feel that bit more stronger in yourself.
All the best
Tina x
Hi Tina,
Always lovely to hear from you and I literally can’t believe Wickes and their nonsense…as you say something out of a comedy sketch!! So are they going to get it to your local store? Have they offered you any form of compensation for your massive inconvenience?
Yeah I know what you mean about thinking or feeling nothing has changed and you go about your day almost feeling ‘normal’ and then something happens or you see something and then you remember and it stops you in your tracks doesn’t it?
Least your local dealer seems to have some respect for his mum not to deal from his home…didn’t think there were many dealers with scruples lol x. If people can hear his conversations he canna be very discreet lol x
I was speaking to the puppy breeder and she won’t have any puppies until May and I’m away to London in June etc so she will have another litter nearer end of year so thought that would be better for me as come the longer nights again it will give me a reason to get out. So yes I will be still be getting one but not til the end of the year.
How is Zoe coping with the warm weather?
What are you doing with yourself this week?
Take care and chat soon xx
Hi Nicola,
What a small world it really is…It’s just the best place ever x
Without upsetting you can I ask what restaurant it is as just wonder if it’s one I’m familiar with?
Have you had a more peaceful day?
Feel free to pop in and chat anytime x
Suzanne x
Hi Neil,
So happy to hear you went today and enjoyed the meal. I have been thinking of you today.
You did so well and mega proud of you X
Lovely pictures x
Just super happy you went and your omelette sounds amazing x
Hope the rest of your day is going well,
Suzanne x
Hi Suzanne,
The restaurant is called the old tannery. It used to be called bocabar I think until my sister and brother in law took it over after the first lockdown
Nic xxx
Hi Suzanne
As I said I had some anxiety last night but felt OK this morning and glad I went. Mum used to like their omelettes as well. Just had a phone call from my best mate and it’s really helped to talk other things like his trip to the Cheltenham Festival last week which sounded amazing.
Met several celebrities at the stage door and they have all been lovely . Glad you like the pics.
Lovely warm afternoon here today
Hope you have a good evening
Neil x