Hello Palou, Nick and Neil
Have a good day all and hope it’s s peaceful one.
Much love to all xx
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Hi Palou,
Thank you. I do feel quite a bit better and will go to therapy today. Have already sorted washing, emails, dishes etc and I’m not in a heap having to lie down! On the mend.
Hope you have an easy day.
Lots of love xxx
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Hi Tina,
I do feel quite a bit better and was just saying to Palou I’m not having to lie down after hanging the washing up. I hung it outside but it looks like rain so will have to get it back in again. Forecast rain. You must be having the winds from yesterday. Love a blustery day.
Will go therapy and like you say, it will lift me up. Have treats to look forward to as well when I get in . Hope that by next week I can get back into my routine swim after therapy. It’s a battle of trying to be in control with doing things outside the house to give me courage to tackle being at home. Creep has left already. He bangs about in his van when he’s leaving early. Sure it’s to wake me up but I’m already awake for Porsch. She spat her tablet out 3 times this morn. But she’s had a good bite. She stops at her litter tray on the way to the garden and wouldn’t budge until I acknowledged the poo in the tray. Back to her old self again! You’re right about Zoe being more of a handful than a toddler. But at least she’s keeping you fit!
So tricky buying for younger family when we have moved on and I feel I’m very out of touch with what they like because I don’t see them often enough to feel involved. Is she a girly girl? Scented candles and pampering gifts / vouchers are usually well received. Photos in a lovely frame are more personal. Usually my sisters kids have long lists of what they want so there’s no wriggle room for anything else. Let me know what you decide. Tickets for a new film? You could ask her if there’s anything she’d like.
Going to check on Porsch and sit with her for a bit before the rain. I know how ill I’ve been when looking at the half finished patio grouting doesn’t have an impact on me wanting to get cracking.
Will pop back later. I always find it comforting being out in the rain.
Lots of love xxx
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Hello again,
Just a quick post before I start getting dressed. Checked out my pond, having filled it with treatments yesterday to remove the sludge and clear the water, to find it almost empty again this morn. The filter is emptying it (don’t know why) so will have to remove it altogether and reconnect the pump to the hose. So annoyed. But it did show how much more mud is in there to remove. Plants aren’t growing in the pots so not sure whether to try leaving the mud and planting directly into it. Everything I’ve tried doing has failed so far. Ready to give up on the garden altogether. What do you recommend Debbie?
Collected lots of Loganberries (mix between raspberries and blackberries). A treat for my therapist, along with my veg soup. At least I know the fruits grow well.
Nasturtians are leaning into the light which is quite amusing. They rambled everywhere in the bathtub last year.
Delighted to see my little shade lovers blooming
but dismayed that a few of the new large plants have perished since moving them.
I know gardening is trial and error but I expect plants to thrive in the conditions they are supposed to enjoy. Feeling very disheartened.
Must make a start now. Feeling quite worn out again. Will rest before I leave.
Lots of love xxx
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Hi all,
Just got back from therapy and feel so relieved it’s lashing down so the creep isn’t lurking like he was when I had to leave. He’d been unloading his van very very slowly with as much noise as poss to let me know he was there. Luckily he was inside when I left. Love the rain.
Waiting for my shop to arrive now. Feeling quite exhausted but glad I went. Always creates perspective on the situation. Like my therapist said, the creep will have to do something to me physically for anything to happen to him and he wouldn’t dare. I was explaining how I really don’t feel safe living here.
Porsch is sleeping soundly in her drawer, softly snoring. Going to watch an episode of Vincent (Ray Winston) while I wait.
Lots of love xxx
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Hi Christine,
Sorry I haven’t been around the last week, but I have been reading your posts.
You’ve had a hard few weeks, but glad you seem more settled today and pleased you still saw your therapist this afternoon . I don’t know what to say about your niece and sister. I would have thought with you saying your not well and the stress you have been under with Porsch and your neighbours I would have hoped they showed more concern.
I can understand you feeling very alone in the world. I do hope the new lady next door turns out to be a friend when she moves in and you don’t see the chap that is decorating her house as much. As your therapist said I think the creep is just taking advantage of your vulnerability with his words, the noise and loud conversations. I don’t think he would do anything to harm you, men like that are just plain bullies.
If I lived near you I would give him what for, I hate people that bully and take advantage of others.
As for your pond, I can only think you have a leak somewhere around your filter, or in one of the pipes, or has your pond liner got a split. I think once you find the source of the leak, just refill the pond and leave it to settle for several weeks. After all natural ponds in the wild have mud on the bottom. Just add your plants in their baskets and wait, It takes a while for a pond to develop. You need to be patient.
I hope you treated yourself to some nice goodies when your shopping arrives.
I’m doing an online shop this week, I need to get ice creams and lollies for messy church on Friday, now the buses are only hourly I nearly always have a fifty minute wait to get home and I think the lollies might melt. Oh how I wish I had learnt to drive. Never needed to as Doug loved driving and never pressured me to learn. This will be the last messy church before the summer break. Only two and half weeks until we break up and I’m ready for it.
September will be strange, I have my notice already written ready to hand in on 1st September, the first day back. Already started to look at putting my school pension in place, sent all my documents off they needed and most excited I can at least get a OAP bus pass at long last.
I’m going to a wedding on Saturday, first one I’ve been too in years. I do hope the weather forecast changes, says there is rain forecast at the moment. Unfortunately the groom hurt his foot at work and is on crutches, what timing. I’m sure it will all be okay.
Speak to you soon.
Sending love, Debbie xx
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Just wanted to say hi to Neil, Nick and Paulo. I hope your all okay.
I’m hoping to see the new Indiana Jones film too Neil, but waiting until the school holidays.
I see the mousetrap is touring and at my local theatre, I might ask my friend if she fancies going. I’ve never seen it.
Sending love
Debbie xx
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Hi Debbie,
I thought you must be busy and knew you’d pop in soon. I had Tina keeping me going. I think all the stress has made me ill but I’m on the mend now. Porsch is being quite tricky but I know she’ll eat when hungry. I can’t understand how my life has turned out. You’re right about the creep taking advantage. He knows I don’t have any visitors and nothing has happened to him so he’s got away with it. All the neighbours know but because I’m not one of them, don’t fit in (don’t want to!) they don’t care and I continue to be the entertainment. The horrible woman across the road (on the anti social behaviour order) is mates with the creep and also now the loud bully ex husband to the new woman, so he is a permanent fixture too. He parks n the communal grass as if he owns the place! Still haven’t reported him for it but I want to. I suspect the woman told him to park in my bay to see what would happen. I’ve never been around such horrible egotistical people. I’ve always worked hard and been rewarded so this world was never something I knew. I’m being watched all the time when I’m in the garden or the house, commenting on my appearance, what I’m doing, how isolated I am, how unhappy I must be, why don’t I just move etc. I just want to be left alone but I am clearly their target. I wish you could all come round all the time, everyday. I wish I could expose the creep for what he has done to me and shame the rest of them for knowing and letting him continue. Need to start swimming again just to get away from here.
I’m always so upset and hurt by the lack of care towards me from my niece. I think it’s time to stop wanting to see her and accept I’m being used. I’ve had enough. I don’t deserve being treated like this. I feel like a mug. I could die and my family wouldn’t even know because they don’t bother with me. I honestly wasn’t aware of how disliked I am by them. Mam must have known and kept them in line I suppose. I know I’m out spoken but I’m kind, honest and generous. Always have been. I still can’t believe how my life has collapsed after mam left. I just want to be with her, wherever she is.
I discovered why my pond plants aren’t growing. I potted them into ordinary pots with compost, not the open baskets. So I might try planting them directly into the soil. Like you say, natural ponds have soil and plants growing naturally without baskets. I’ll try it. And I know it’s the filter leaking so if I remove that and connect the hose to the pump I should be ok. Noticed too that I have lots of cutting back of the canopy over the pond. Lots of dead branches so I hope it will encourage new growth.
That’s awful to have to wait so long for a bus. London is so busy. I remember mam wanting to visit without dad (after they’d had a fight) and she would have had to get 3 buses for the 40 mins journey it took me in the car. The last time she stayed over on her own I knew it was the last time. I must have ESP. I just knew and can vividly see her reading her book, tucked up in my bed (I was on the sofa) as I was saying goodnight. I wish I could do that again. I miss the journey over there to the old house, even though I was always worried that I would break down and be stranded, having to wait on my own for the recue van. I always took things for granted, I was fearless and did whatever I wanted without thinking of what could go wrong. It’s not having anyone to help me in a crisis that really scares me. If I had had a husband like your Doug I would have been so happy and content. Still would have wanted my own car though! My sister didn’t want to learn. She said she didn’t need to with me, dad and her bloke having cars. My mam never learned to drive. It’s really chaotic on the road here, especially in the summer when all the nutters are out racing around.
Can’t quite believe it’s nearly your summer hols. I remember your countdown after xmas. Your retirement must feel very real now. Are you excited but also a little nervous? I would be. I remember feeling quite lost after my A levels, and then again when I left work to go travelling (didn’t happen when I found the lump). You have so much to look forward to with your church, meeting up with friends, family get togethers etc. Will you start swimming? Loved Beki’s pic of them in their swimming hats. If you have a weekly plan of set things and then random fun stuff thrown in you’ll have no time to feel lost.
Fingers crossed for Sat and I’m pleased you’re going. Have you got your outfit sorted? Mam loved getting a new dress. Always very stylish. She loved her clothes. If it rains it’s meant to be good luck for the marriage. Just hope it’s not throwing it down. The poor groom. He could jazz up the crutches to match the colour scheme! Bit of glitter. Maybe’s wind a diamante bracelet around it for the bride! You’ll have a smashing day. I know it will be very strange without Doug but he’ll be with you and so proud of you.
I have one eye on here now and one on Stacey’s ‘Sort your life out’. Love a good clear out and organising stuff. I’ve never been sentimental with keeping cards etc but I wish I’d kept mam’s messages. Would play it every day so I could pretend she was still at the old house.
Hope to see you again before Sat.
Lots of love xxx
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Hello Debbie,
yes, I am OK, thanks. It looks as if I am getting slowly out the depression phase now. I have stopped taken the medication for my depression but I feel relatively well. Only small ups and downs now, fingers crossed. Well, we are getting better weather on Thursday 23C. That should help.
Only 4 weeks more or less now until I sell my bungalow to be able pay the death duty. I chose to live in my brother’s house. Only one down side, I have to get rid of most of my things. Well, I hope it will be better than getting rid of my brother’s things. Also, I have lost my cat Fluffy some months ago and the only remaining cat Tammy is at my brother’s house. It will be hard work to get my brother garden back on track again. All weeds and no grass. (Will upload some photos soon.) Lucky that I still have some grass seeds.
Poor cat Tammy, it is raining again but she does not want to go inside. ?? Stupid cat.
Best wishes, Nick.
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Hi Christine
I just thought I’d come and say Hi. I’ve been tidying most of the day, nipped to Asda in the evening and then some more tidying. Anyone would think there was 5 toddlers on the house the amount of tidying I do! Pity the results don’t last long enough to admire them. Have been oit with Zoe earlier and I saw this mound of what I thought was dry dusty soil but a pile of ants came from under it. Don’t know if they are any eggs or what. Hope not as they are right at the side of the back door.
Glad your energy levels are up again. It wasn’t like you to be sounding as low as you were like that. Worry and fear has a lot to answer for doesn’t it.
The fruits you are growing look fabulous. I have some berries, can’t remember what they are but they aren’t doing much. Do you use the Nasturtium leaves in your salad? They are supposed to have a peppery taste. I’m sure you can eat the petals but I’d not say I was sure of it.
Enjoy this little period of feeling a bit lighter. I can imagine how good it feels to get stuck in with your garden again. Good therapy as well as good exercise! I’ve managed to get our garden the best it’s been for a long time but there’s no one to see it. No-one that’s interested at least.
Thanks for the suggestions for my Niece. A candle is always a good choice isn’t it, Everyone loves candles so I can’t go wrong with that. She is very hard to buy for even though she’s a feminine little thing.
I’m gonna have to sign off before I imagined as I’m closing my eyes as I am typing so I’ll say bye for now and chat tomorrow.
Much love xx
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Hi Nick,
I’m pleased you are feeling lighter now. The summer, sunshine, brighter skies and light has a positive impact on us generally. I’m feeling better too. It seems that stress and upset affects me physically and has to run it’s course. Will clean the fishtank today and empty the potted plants in the large pond and try to plant them in the mud. Seems like a huge task but I hope once I start it will become easier. I always find being productive in my day helps to motivate me so I can look back on my week and see what I have achieved. The alternative is sitting doing nothing at all and that makes me really want to be with my mam. It’s like I’m biding my time until I meet her again. I hoe it is soon.
I wish I could help you with clearing your house. It’s very therapeutic. I love watching ‘Stacey’s clear your house’ which helps families clear their clutter so they can live in their space again. Hope you aren’t getting rid of everything though and taking what is meaningful to you. To unite yours and your brothers things is a wonderful mix and will keep him close to you. He’ll be everywhere and that must be a comfort. I’m sure he’ll be very impressed with all your gardening work. Looking forward to seeing what you’ve achieved. Bet Tammy is looking forward to having you there full time.
Not long now until you actually move in. You’ve achieved a huge amount in getting your house sold and sorting out the cars and garden at your brothers house. I hope you give yourself the credit you deserve. Will you be checking out new places to visit when you move there? Hope you can still get out on your walks to the park, beach and lunch club. Keeping busy for me is really important.
If your brothers garden is big enough you could create beds for veg. Will be fun planning the space. When I showed my friend around the garden he was very impressed with what I’ve achieved. He hadn’t seen it in a long time. He’s inspired to get cracking now on his own.
Had a real downpour yesterday so the garden is soaking and Porsch has decided not to stay out. I’ve stripped the bed and she’s made a new nest in a blanket on the floor.
Keep going Nick. You’re doing fab!
Lots of love xxx
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Hi Debbie
Just scrolling through and saw your post. Seeing the film tomorrow as its only a fiver for a couple of weeks as the cinema has just opened. The Mousetrap well worth seeing. Its more of a tourist attraction now in London! Amazing how it has kept going all these years.
Catch up again soon.
Sending love and best wishes
Neil
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Hi Tina,
Had a real downpour last night so the garden is soaked but I’m hoping to remove the pots from the pond and plant directly into the mud. Will remove the filter and fix the pipe to the pump to avoid any more leaks. Wasted all the treatments I did yesterday to clear the sludge. But if I can get this sorted it’s a big thing and hopefully the pond can recover over the summer. Also have the fishtank to do but I’ll do that when the creep gets back so I’m inside. He’ll be lurking because I’ll have the hose emptying old water through the front window while I fill it with the hose. Always a task I put off doing but I find once I start it’s quite therapeutic. So that is my task for today. Have already stripped the bed, done dishes, put a wash on. It’s like being a slow robot trying to get back on track but I’m doing it.
Saw a great tip for you to try when cleaning your carpet with Zoe’s hair - a wet window squeedgee. They’re really cheap (80p Asda, £2.49 Amazon). Scrapes the hair into a pile. Will save you all that hoovering. I got rid of my carpets because I could never clean the muddy cat prints from the garden. I had Mercedes as well then and neither one of them would wear their wellies! So much easier with the wood effect vinyl flooring. Can’t understand where all the dust comes from though underneath the sofas?! It accumulates and I’m always amazed when I find it. One of life’s mysteries.
Having an ants nest next to your door will have to be sorted quickly incase they get inside. Just googled it and killing them is the only way with boiling water, washing up liquid, white wine vinegar, cleaning products etc. I found a huge one when I removed the fat ball debris from the birds when they were feeding at the ‘bench’ by the pond. I popped the whole lot in the green bin so I’m sure they’re still in there unless they’ve suffocated with the heat.
I was really pleased with the loganberries. I’ll have more to pick today if they haven’t dropped off with the rain. I’ll try the nasturtian leaves and flowers when they grow a bit more. Hope they flower. I’m really disheartened with all the plants that have died. Mam was always a natural gardener. I’m more of a lets plant and see what happens kinda gal! Cottage garden flowers don’t seem to like clay soil. I have to accept defeat and just plant what I know will grow - climbers, roses, fruits, palms. Feeling quite overwhelmed with the work left to do over the summer but I know I’ll get back on it and hopefully by the end of the year will have achieved everything - finish the fence and trellis, grout the whole patio area, plant up the bed behind the large pond, have established the plants in the pond, cut back and weed throughout. I’m tired just thinking about it!
Another thought for your niece is an oil burner with scented oil and josh sticks. I use Naga Champa (the original Buddhist scent) and order fromAmazon. Got the lovely buddha head burner from there too. Also, a battery operated lotus flower light which has a rainbow of colours. She’ll love it if she’s into Indian / Buddhist culture. Creates a tranquil vibe and smells great. The boxes of josh sticks make great drawer scents too if you open them. I used to love getting scented drawer liners as an extra xmas gift from mam. Wish I could tell her all my fave things she used to give me. Really missing her again. So upset that she’s gone and I’ll never see her again. It still doesn’t seem real. How can it be? Crying again. It comes from nowhere and hits me like a train.
Another thought for gifts is fake roses and orchids. Amazon have them but also check out Shein (a Chinese company that does great stuff, is very inexpensive but takes a while to be delivered). Bedding is another fun gift. I discovered marbled bedding which I love. Check it out. Once you’ve discovered Shein you’ll never shop anywhere else!
Will crack on now as I’m not dressed. Want to sort the pond jobs before the creep gets back as he’ll be watching and creeping about behind the fence. Hope I still have the energy after getting ready.
Will pop back later. Hope Zoe behaves herself!
Lots of love xxx
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Hi Neil,
I was just about to go and saw you were here and wanted to say hi x Enjoy your film. I wish I had some of your enthusiasm to keep going. I find it so hard getting back up again. But I’ve got my jobs lined up for today - sort the pond and clean the fishtank. I always find water is calming and therapeutic. Hope to get back to my swimming too as I haven’t been for quite a while.
Looking forward to the pics and whatever you do today hope you are feeling energised. Have your family gone back to Oz and will you keep in touch? Is it tonight your friend rings? He is such a good friend to you. And I’m sure you are to him too. You are to all if us here!
Must dash to get ready before the creep returns and stops me getting out there.
Lots of love xxx
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Hi Christine,
I am glad that you are feeling better too now. You are right, the achievement makes all the difference. But, please do not wear yourself out. I did that some weeks ago. Take some time to enjoy your garden too.
My brothers garden is still a mess. Most of the weeds are gone now but I still have to get rid of the rubbish. It will take at least another eight hours of work before I can seed the grass again. Also have to cut down 3 small holly trees.
Clearing my bungalow will give me some head aches. Not enough space in my brother’s house. I have to move the content of one room before I can move the content of my bed room into it. (Too many computers and other things.) A lot of thing from my bungalow just have to go. I will contact the local St Helena Hospice to take away some of my furniture and sell it. Have given away some of my brother’s clothe already. (Was not easy.)
I got rid of the cars at my bungalow but not the cars at my brother’s house yet. Lost the book with the address of the person who wants two of my brother’s cars. It’s complicated because the cars have been standing for too long. Four of the cars have still to go.
I think it will be another 3-4 weeks before I move house. - I have been to the lunch club yesterday again. I still spoil the dos every day. The park starts at the bottom of my brother’s garden. I could just climb over the fence but I stopped doing it since I fell last summer. Planting some vegetables would be a good idea but there is a huge Oak tree in the garden and not much sun.
My cat Tammy is behaving strangely at the moment. She has been outside for several weeks now and she stays outside even when it is raining. I do not like it, and my mind is going round and round. - I am glad that Porsch is better now.
We had a downpour too yesterday and I got wet looking for Tammy. She was hiding but is back now and pretends as if nothing had happened. - Have to go now and feed her again. - Give Porsch a kiss from me and do not work too had today. Also, thanks for the encouragement. (I will write again this week.) - Nick
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Hi Nick,
Just finished the fishtank clean and realised the creep had come home after I’d already started so I had all the windows open. Had to rush round closing the blinds as he was in and out to his van, going round the block twice that I know of. It’s really bizarre behaviour. Either he’s trying to see what I’m doing (I’m sure he’s listening intently as he always has) or he’s trying to attract my attention. Probably wondering why I’m not reacting to him being there. He knows the ameras are recording him. It has toned down the behaviour of standing behind the hedge watching my bedroom window and then crouching down when I was watching him. All this in broad daylight! A grown man. But he’s away again and I’ve finished so I’m having a sit down before I start the tidy up. He was obviously looking in my windows at the back before I realised he was there. Comments were made about me being ‘white collar’ ! which is laughable because I come from a hard working mining and shipbuilding background. It’s because I have my textiles hanging up and of course my shrine has been developed over time for mam. Just added a beautiful moth which I found in my window. Shows how obsessional he is about me, trying to work out who I am. When he’s at home blasting music it’s always ‘The Good Life’ (Sinatra). I just want him to disappear from my life.
I think little Tammy is feeling very unsettled. She’ll be missing your brother without knowing what is going on. She’ll settle down when you move in.
Sounds like you have a major task on your hands. Getting rid of furniture will clear a pathway so you have space to sort into recycle, charity, sell, bin and ‘take with’. You have the luxury of being able to move bits in before you actually get in there which will free up space too. I love organising. That is key to getting through the house in a methodical way. Otherwise it’s just overwhelming. And to have dealt with your brothers things is really well done. I know how upsetting I found it when dad just wanted rid of mams clothes and my sisters took what they wanted and I was left to go through the charity shop pile, and even then my sister was annoyed that she hadn’t seen the dress I had kept. But I did get my favourite cardy, the one she wore in the house to keep warm and cosy. None of it was about value for me. It’s the sentimental attachment. The cardies I wear for bed are the ones I picture mam wearing. Starting to get upset again now. I can’t chat about her without becoming overwhelmed again.
Are you enjoying getting stuck into the garden? To be physically aching after a hard days graft always makes me feel satisfied. I can’t understand laziness. Could you not live with the holly trees for now? Tackle them in the Autumn perhaps? Reseeding the lawn was easier than I thought and covering with general compost kept the birds off and it has grown well. Will you dedicate a patch to grow wild? Perhaps throw in some wild meadow flowers to attract more wildlife? I think doing the garden may have unsettled Tammy. She’s probably been enjoying hiding in the long grass. I read a funny but quite disturbing thing on the internet where a man would leave home for a couple of nights (doing his music gigs) and his neighbours would be in his garden mowing his lawn and moving his pots around! They didn’t like that he wasn’t keeping his grass mowed like them. Unbelievable! At the creep isn’t climbing over the garden fence. He does his peeping in secret.
Have you considered contacting a car specialist to remove the cars if they are old? Could be worth something. Otherwise a large scrap metal vehicle could haul the lot in one go. Are you attached to them? You seem to be coping very well. I’m sure the emotional distress will hit you when you’re closer to actually moving. But to go to your brothers house will hold so many cherished memories and once you get in and settled you can enjoy the space he enjoyed and made home. I love the image I have of you hopping over the fence at the bottom of the garden! Wish I had that.
Porsch is being naughty, looking for attention because I’m busy so she’s out in the garden again until I’m ready to attend to her every need?! Just how she likes it.
Have the floors and bathroom to clean now. Will have to do it in bits as it’s really taken it out of me. Just enjoyed the last of my shopping treats from yesterday.
Be thinking of you with your clearing. If you tackle areas in short bursts of 20 mins and then rest you’ll soon make progress. Getting a lot done in a short time is less overwhelming. Having a cuppa will help you see what needs to be done next. Wish I could help!
Lots of love xxx
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Hi all
Hope everyone is keeping well
@christine51 last night I went for my second outdoor swim. I felt really bleurgh during the day, a bit of the menopausal stuff I reckon and my neighbours dad who lived with them for the last 3 years died on Monday so very sad seeing her at the start of this rubbish journey.
Considered bailing out but didn’t and so glad I didn’t. Had a good long swim though the water was so cold. The regulars said that is more like September water temp than July!
Swam for a solid half hour, chatting all the way. The friend I go with is also sadly a member of our crappy grief club having lost her husband 4 years ago and her only sister 2 years go, both were only 50ish. Like me she has no children and she had a massive anxiety ridden weekend out of no-where. All those fears, what will happen when I get older, who’ll be there so we were chatting about that and ended up laughing because if you don’t you go bonkers!
The insomnia and tiredness, which is partly the years and grief catching up on me and the hormones is driving me mad! Will see the doctor soon, may consider giving hrt a go. At least going to Pilates and the cold pod/swimming is helping my joints and aches noticeably. Still eating like a small army though so don’t expect any pictures of me looking like an Olympic star 
Hi @Nick22 good luck with the sorting out, it can feel like a thankless task. I am still sorting clothes and items out but the more I clear stuff out, it doesn’t seem to have any effect on the space and the cupboards and wardrobes are full to bursting again. Which I could breed five pound notes like I do clutter!
@NEILB72 glad to here you are still getting out and about.
Beki x
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Hi Christine
Good morning, how are you both today? I hope Porsch is lively enough to be giving you the run-around (in the best possible way)
Thanks for the extra suggestions for my Niece’s birthday. I think I’ll try and find some nice fragrance in the form of a candle or sticks like you say. Its something she will get pleasure out of yet not clutter her living space as she is currently renting in Truro having opened her tattoo salon there. Still don’t get how she got to 25years old, where does time go?
Been into the Asda today but just “necessity” shopping as there isn’t a lot of interest in there right now, although I can see they have begun to reduce their gardening section now.
Thanks for the idea of the fur remover tool. I’ve been using something improvised as no amount of hoovering even comes close so was definitely open to suggestions.
I haven’t noticed if you’ve been on the forum today as I originally started this reply to you in the early hours last night so don’t know how you’ve been doing since you were last on. I remember you saying your tiredness had lifted thank goodness. I
don’t know how you achieve all that lifting and pushing.
Hope creep has been under the radar today. That’s the worst of the good weather in that it brings all sorts out of the woodwork. A bit harsh maybe but true in some respects. Hope as well that your Niece has shown you a bit of consideration as well.
Looking and feeling a bit stormy at the moment so best keep an eye on this washing!
Much love to you both xx
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Hi Beki,
Very well done for not chickening out, though you are very brave with the cold water. Lovely setting. I always find the trying to get there is hardest. If I plan ahead and it’s in the diary then I usually go because I’m very hard on myself when I don’t. I’ve really let it slide now. I think having someone to go with would make all the difference. Not great that your mate is in our sad club but I hope your friendship is helping you both. Being able to share with honesty and love is what we all need. I’m sure my anxiety and panic wouldn’t be what it is if I had someone to trust in. It really is frightening when I face my reality because I am totally alone in the world, though I’m sure my nosy neighbours would notice if I didn’t get out of bed. Nosiness rather than concern. Not what I need! I’m sure the creep would be knocking down my door at the first opportunity!
It must have been a shock for you to learn about your neighbour’s dad. I know it’s part of life but I just can’t handle it. Even seeing actors ageing upsets me. Are you close to her? To lend an ear now that you are an experienced traveller on this journey? Could be good for you too.
If you are able to take HRT absolutely do it. I can’t take anything because my breast cancer was estrogen based. Check out the side effects. I think there’s lots to choose from and there’ll be lots of stuff on Google. I missed the documentary about it. I remember watching TOWIE and one of the mams starting HRT after suffering for years and she was over the moon with the results. She was ‘normal’ again.
You’re doing great with all the activities you’re doing. Creates a good balance to working from home. I know how overwhelming it can be for me when I’m not motivated and wonder what the point is in creating anything when I can’t exhibit because of my anxiety. Can’t join most online clubs either because you have to attend meetings in person. Really need to get back into my textiles again after I finish the big jobs in the garden.
Keep doing what you’re doing. You’re doing fab!
Can I just add, I love sorting things and organising. If you can be objective and create a ‘capsule’ wardrobe it will be very freeing. I love clothes and even if I don’t wear them all I enjoy looking through them with all the colour and pattern. Having the loft space is invaluable in sorting ‘seasonal’ clothes. Makes your space downstairs more accessible and easier to keep clean / tidy, making for a good working environment. It’s taken me years to create a good working from home environment.
Keep enjoying your activities hun x Your mam will be so proud of you!
Lots of love. xxx
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Absolutely stunning for her!!! I am sure she enjoys this beautiful space with you…
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