CREATING A SHRINE FOR MY MAM

[Debbie57]

Hi Christine and Tina,
I have those orange plants too, they are called montbretia.

I’m very impressed with your blackberries Christine and Porsch has an expression of looking cross that you have disturbed her.
I love cats they are such expressive individual characters.
I have got lots of hospital appointments this week, yesterday went for a pre op assessment, I sure my arm is lighter with the amount of blood she took. I have a lovely bruise on my arm this morning, not from taking blood but removing the tape afterwards.
Still got a physio appointment on Wednesday and Thursday I have joint school, it’s preparation for my operation the following week .
I might be going to Barbie movie again, my other granddaughter wants to go and no one will take her, so I said I will take her.
I really must go and get dressed, I’ll pop back later.
Love Debbie xx

[christine51]

Hi Tina,
Just got back from therapy. Really had to push myself to go as I’ve lost all my energy again. Just feeling awful. Not sure if it’s stress related. Found Mr T parked on the grass again even though the road is empty! So I’ve emailed parking again. But nobody is doing anything about it. It’s a waste of my time and energy trying to get anyone to uphold the law. It’s such a ridiculous situation.
You’re right about the motivation and self discipline to get that fence finished. I got my army camouflage delivered and if the creep wasn’t at home I’d be putting it up on the arches to finish that corner next to the house. He arrived back when I was going out to the car. I had to wait for him to park before I could leave. I was watching him get his phone out incase he tried taking pics of me. He didn’t even look at me. He knows I will report him for anything he does.
I wish I could enjoy my garden now the fence is up but I don’t have the energy to force myself to get out there knowing he will be lurking on the other side of the fence with Mr T on the other side. Some peeps would think I have won now that he can’t watch me through the hedge. There’s no joy in it. I’m sure the neighbours are very envious with what I have created. They seem to be envious of anything anyone has. I know I’ve been watched doing my dishes with the door open so I put up a double net curtain outside to block the view. There was a shout which proves I am indeed being watched. It’s like living in a goldfish bowl with oddballs watching and commenting on my every move.
When I showed my therapist pics of my garden he said it’s like being in a different country, even though we haven’t had much rain. I ‘see’ the garden through my camera. It’s hard to get a full view when I’m concentrating on what needs to be done. But if we do get a heatwave I’ll be sitting in the shade and not doing anything! Hope I can get the pond hoses sorted so I can get the fountains back on again.
I do wonder if the creep and his mate are annoyed that they cannot watch me now.
Think those orange flowers are called ‘crocosmia’. Hope they all bloom along the path going up the garden. Still need to get new gravel for the path after emptying the mud out the pond.
Porsch seems to go through phases of being very good with her meals and then being very fussy and eating nothing at all. Still wrestling with getting her tablet down. She’s been trying to eat the foxes dog food on an evening and then seeing if any is left in the morning. She had me awake at 4am and didn’t stop meowing to be out. I eventually fell asleep but feel really groggy. Hope to get my energy back again soon.
Had good news about my haemotology appointment on 10 August (same as Debbie’s op for her knee) to investigate my high iron/ ferritin level. Hope they can sort it out so I can get my energy back again. Iron is stored and not distributed around the body but the GP doesn’t know why. It’s been ongoing since the chemo years ago.
Have you been enjoying your garden between showers? Hope so. It keeps me going to be busy out there. All I seem to do otherwise is watch Judge Judy and sleep at the mo.
Kisses to Zoe. She’s such a sweetheart!
Lots of love xxx

[christine51]

Hi Debbie,
Yes, my blackberries are fruiting for the first time. I know they’re small. I might leave them for the birds. I had to google the orange flowers. Mam called them crocosmia. I’m sure I must have had a clump from the old garden and they’ve taken over. Hope they all bloom to create an orange carpet up the path.
Sounds like your op must be going ahead with all your toing and froing this week. I have my heamotology appointment on 10th. Be good to sort this iron level out after years of being fatigued. Mind you the blood tests were taken in March this year so don’t know what the current level is. You must be quite exhausted with all the hospital visits. You’ll be back at home with a new knee very soon.
Porsch has been running me ragged with all her meowing and wanting to be fed from 4am. I have to heat the meat up in the microwave, test it so it’s not too hot, cut up her little biscuit treats and sprinkle on top to get her to actually eat the gravy. She likes me sitting with the bowl in my hands feeding her otherwise she will waste it. So you can imagine what I felt like at 4am sitting on the kitchen floor and then trying to block out the crying to be out. She’s driving me mad!
Thinking of you and wishing you well with all the hospital trips.
Lots of love xxx

[Tina19]

Hiya Christine

I can tell you must be feeling exhausted as you don’t sound your normal bouyed up self when talking about about your garden. I can imagine it was an effort to get out yesterday but you managed and achieved it which is no small victory.

I can believe how you felt when you came back and he’d parked on the grass verge. I can imagine in some ways it’s as much his “I’ll please myself because I can” attitude than what he’s actually done. As if he’s sticking two fingers up at authority etc. Just remember that although you are mad (I would be too), that’s he’s just of mo significance to you and not worth your stress. Easier said than done when he is forever on your line of vision I know.

The fish tank cleaning task sounds a massive thing to have to do. I know my sister had a cheapie basic glass bowl and her fish lived many years but when they passed away she got new fish and a state of the art tank but the fish all died off quite soon and she got rid of it so better doesn’t always mean “better”. I think nature just knows what it needs the best.

I’m not sure what the weather has in store today Christine. It’s raining heavily right now. Hopefully it will dry for you to do stuff outdoors. I really looking forward to seeing what the trellis looks like with the netting on it, that was a great idea.

Speak soon and much love xx

[NEILB72]

Hi everyone.
Just popping in to catch up. Had a decent day yesterday( for a Tuesday) . Went to my local cinema to see a packed screening of Oppenheimer which was very good, if rather long. Have to see it on the big screen to appreciate the scale of the film.
Still got Mums birthday on my mind next week so am booking a show to keep my mind in a good place. May book something tomorrow or last minute. Her birthday is on the Fri but dont go to shows on that day so it will either be Wed or Thu.
Sending love and best wishes to you all
Neil x

[christine51]

Hi Tina,
OMG! the drama this morn! The police knocked as I was just about to get ready, so still in my pj’s, no makeup, hadn’t even cleaned my teeth so you can imagine I didn;t feel at my best and was quite unprepared for the visit. Basically they have to catch him in the act of being parked or driving across the paevement for them to have evidence against him. They advised me to call parking enforcement next time I see him and so that is exactly what I have done! I’m waiting now. He has been warned not to park and the reasons why (it isn’t the grass verge but the stretch of landscaped grass infront of the bungalows which nobody is allowed to use for anything, hence my anger at having to get rid of my compost bins). There seems to be a culture of disregarding the law, getting away with it, believing that intimidation will stop someone like me from reporting the activity. Even the police asked me why did it bother me so much?!!! having already told me that what he is doing is illegal. Unbelievable. But I understand about having to have the evidence. My pic on my camera wasn’t even looked at but I did send it to the council in another update email, telling them I will not drop this matter because the rules have to apply to all. It’s only because I’ve contacted the enforcement team that anything is being done. Haven’t heard anything yet. Couldn’t understand why the police can’t have a talk with him to stop him doing it. They said he could argue in court that he had pushed the car! over the pavement (wouldn’t that still be illegal?) and that would result in the case being dropped. I don’t even want all of this drama. I do want him to stop using the grass as his private car park. So it seems to be a general rule of do what you like but don’t get caught and look down on the person reporting the activity. He’s had enough warnings. Hopefully it will wipe the smug grin off his face. I hate being the person to report this but I am surrounded by idiots.
Feeling a bit better energy wise so got caught up with household chores as it’s very wet outside and raining on and off all day. But I did pop out with a plate of food for the fox I saw earlier. Hope to comes back. He saw me through the window and disappeared. He might be sheltering from the rain. Porsch isn’t happy as she can’t get out but she did have a little time this morn. It must drive Zoe mad when she can’t play out and I can only imagine having to occupy her with all sorts of games.
The creep was home yester and today so I didn’t make a start on the net but it does look very effective and only a tenner from Amazon. Will look like ivy and I will grow the ivy onto it eventually. Now the fence is done that whole section is my next big job for planting up.
It makes such a massive difference having the patio grouted and the open areas cemented for sweeping up the bird feed. I have the same problem with moulding feed at the small table so will have to dig out all the growth (yuk!) and extend the patio to just that bit so I can sweep up. Even the lawn has mouldy areas where it has rained and not grown.
I love watching the rain from the window. All the birds are feeding and then hunkered down in the pergola overhang of branches and climbing rose. Will need to replenish the feeders again. I do it daily, usually very early on a morn but my routine has slipped with the lack of energy.
My small piece of trellis has made a big impact behind the buddha. Think I will add trellis to all the pergola legs to create windows into the garden beyond the patio. Will get pics when it stops raining.
My friend seems to be ignoring me about returning the fishtank gun so I can do mine. He’s mates with the car bloke and allows him to travel across the lawn infront of his house. Now he knows I’ve reported him he won’t want to be seen to be friendly with me. I’ve known him for 17 years so if he can be like that with me he can crack on! I’ve learned not to care if I am not treated well.
Porsch is wanting to be fed so I’ve go for now but I’m sure I’ll have updates on the drama.
Lots of love xxx

[christine51]

Hi Neil,
Glad you enjoyed the film. Like Debbie said, I find it too harrowing watching anything about war/ persecution/trauma when it is based on fact. Sure it was a fabulous production given the people involved.
Haven’t forgotton about your mams birthday. There’s quite a bit going on next week. I have my long awaited appointment to investigate the high iron content which I’m sure is what is making me have bouts of no energy (chronic fatigue). Will be good to get it sorted if they can. And Debbie has her knee op. Pleased it’s going ahead with all the doctor strikes.
I think if you are able to book on the Thursday it will keep you in good spirits for Friday. If you read my post to Tina you’ll see all the drama this morn with the police and calling the ticket people out for Mr T parking on the grass. I just want him to stop what he is doing. I donlt want to be persecuting the bloke. He needs to follow the rules that apply to us all. I remember you saying about how people think they can do what they like after covid. This street is notorious for it but those in charge of enforcing it and getting evidence aren’t doing a great deal and nothing at all. It’s all quite stressful and will make me even more unpopular than I already am but I don’t care. Maybe’s the neighbours will see they cannot get away with it and also cannot shout at me in the street and think I will back down. If I’d not stood up to him about using my bay he would be in it now.
It’s such a raining dark day here but I’m enjoying watching all the birds feeding and hope my fox returns for the food I put out earlier for him. Just spotted a big bird carrying something away with it. Nature is so cruel. Hope it wasn’t a baby bird. Can’t watch Nature programmes when it involved filling and eating.
I might get some sewing out the loft to start on but really cannot be bothered. Always feel like I need to be doing something constructive.
Keep popping in Neil. You’re a big miss when you aren’t here.
Lots of love xxx

[Tina19]

Hi Christine

I can just imagine your face with the cops knocking on your door so early! For a minute I thought you were going to explain there’d been some kind of armed gunmen running amok on the estate and the police were telling everyone to stay indoors! The Police visit to your house must have led to some curtain twitching from your neighbours. They could hardly think you’d been shoplifting down the co-op so they’ll be wondering what’s amiss!
I hope there’s some action of sorts being taken at some point. It’s always the same, no evidence, no action and no result. The least that could be done would be for a sign to go up saying that parking is prohibited and offenders prosecuted. You’ll always get those that consider themselves untouchable and because they think they are it usually ends up being that way. What a state for it to get to. He probably thinks he’s “cock of the walk” round your way.

The rain definitely has been quite heavy and prolonged recently hasn’t it. At least it should make the ground a bit softer for the birds to get the worms so they’ll be happy! You are right Zoe is incredibly difficult when she can’t even get to the back garden. She’s turned quite physically assertive recently and has decided in the hierarchy of things she is top dog and I’m somewhere beneath a woodlice and a manky mouse !!

Can’t wait to see the camouflage nets. He got his from Amazon and when the packet came it looked so tiny but goodness me it certainly expands in size.

Haven’t really been upto much today myself with it being so wet. He took Zoe out and I went along as I needed to do an errand but he had to bring her back as it rained. Spent all evening doing jobs and at a couple of Asda stores for a passport photo booth that actually worked. So hardly the high life !

I hope there’s something nice on the agenda tomorrow for you. Not sure of the weather yet. I imagine the weather dictates what you can do.

I’m knackered now so I’ll sign off but hope you all have a good day x

Much love
.

[christine51]

Hi Tina,
I am utterly gobsmacked! He’s back again, parked on the grass after I called enforcement out yesterday. So I rang them again, assumingg they hadn’t come out or that he’d already left but no. They came and could not give him a ticket. Very vague as to why. I was told to contact my MP, which I have. I also phoned the police again but they could not help, despite the lovely girl chatting to her manager. My complaint has disappeared! as she couldn’t find the report via the date, address or ref number I was given. So it seems that anyone can use the grass anywhere in this area and as long as they are not caught travelling across the pavement they get away with it. Unbelievable. I’m now wondering who he is and why he can do exactly as he likes. No wonder he had a massive grin on his face when he parked when I was standing there. I’m just astounded. All this time I could have done the same and not bothered applying for my disabled bay. I’m waiting to hear back from housing, if they even bother. and also my MP so I know exactly what the law is here. Councils can make up their own rules but I’m really surprised given that parking is such a major issue and residential bays are in place with double yellows but no traffic wardens. I’m seething with anger!
But before I knew he was there and checked for the car I had a good morning doing my camoflage and it’s worked really well. Very effective. So I used 3 half arches to add height above the trellis but it is on my side so cannot be counted with the height of the fence. Used thick plastic ties to anchor and created a slatted structure with old bamboos for the net to rest against.

You can where I’ve extended the bamboos across the roof and I filled the gap with a plastic bag so that the creeps mate can’t see down onto my garden from her upstairs window.

It’s very effective and blends in well with the ivy I’m hoping will spread to cover the entire fence and trellis tops. Might get another one to cover the water buts so they blend into the garden. Would have done a lot more jobs but the bloke is in the garden I can’t bear to be out there.
You did make me laugh with the shoplifting scenario. Everyone will know about the police being here. I’ve heard comments about how angry I am and that what I am saying is right. But people will not stand up for what is right. And so like you say he gets away with it. If this were a film he’d be in witness protection, where he’s untouchable, my report vanishes and the entire system stonewalls me into silence. Absolutely fuming. I might go out there and surround his car with bamboo sticks! I can just imagine him having to pull them all out so he can leave and I’d be gathering them up and putting them straight back in again. The thing is his wife, who is actually the one living there, is lovely. I cannot print what he is!
Is it sunny today now? The rain stopped but it really is soaking everywhere. The lawn is bouncy with being so waterlogged. Not looking forward to cleaning up the festering old bird feed.
Porsch has gone off somewhere and even though I’ve looked for her and done a new plate of food she’s nowhere to be found. She always pesters me when I’m doing a job and then gets very huffy when I don’t stop as soon as she appears. She’s off her food again and I’m waiting to pick up more appetite medicine for her. She really is like a baby, needing to be cared for throughout the day and night. Very stressful. Always a relief when she has a good bite and then has a snooze. I can just imagine how boisterous Zoe is and the work it must take to keep her amused all the time. I’m sure she does have you ranked bottom but loves you to bits as you’re her playmate and bestie! She’d be lost without you there. I love watching the funny cats and dogs on youtube. Can’t bear seeing the ones who have been abandoned though, even if they are coaxed back to life.
Had a break through yesterday with getting my textiles down out of the loft as it never stopped raining all day. It’s work I’d been creating but then started doing the garden back in Feb/ March. I’d been putting off getting it out but managed to sort through what needed doing. I have lots of edges already pinned ready to sew so it will ease me into it again. It will be very tricky now photographing my work at the side of the house like I used to do (bricks are a great ratio for size in a pic). I’m sure the bloke is that nosy that he would come out and have a good look at what I’m doing.
Honestly, I still cannot believe that he is getting away with it! Really annoyed that I’m not out in the garden because of him. I hate living in this street!
Going to shout for Porsch again. She’ll be watching me and know I’m fretting about her.
See you later
Lots of love xxx

[Debbie57]

Hi Christine,
It sounds like fun and games in your street. It does seem unfair you had to move your bins and he is getting away with parking on the grass.
The camouflage is very impressive and looks good now you will be able to sit outside in peace. I sure Porsch is listening to you calling her and just ignoring you.
Thank you for your lovely card, it came in the post today and was waiting for me when I got home from yet another hospital appointment. It was joint school today on the ward I’m going to be on. Even though the junior doctors are striking from next Friday, the sister on the ward said she doesn’t expect any operations to be cancelled as they weren’t last time so .
Just one more blood test next Thursday.
I now know I will be away from work for at least 6 wks, as my job is physical with lots of heavy lifting and standing. But if all goes well I should be home the second day after my operation.
I been busy sorting the house and moving things around for easy mobility with crutches. Filled the freezer with ready meals, and ordered a waterproof knee cover and shower stool so I can have showers straight away rather than a flannel wash.
Then next Thursday I will do a good house clean and change the sheets, and cut my grass. So all organised.
I have been given so much information, I said to my daughter not sure if sometimes ignorance is bless. At least I know everything that’s going to happen.
It’s very cloudy here, but still warm and no rain yet. Just came back from a walk to the park and sat on Doug’s bench and was talking to a very nice gentleman who had been on a long walk and resting before he carried on home.
There was loads of families in the park, I like watching the teenagers on the skate board park. I would love to have a go, my mind says yes, the body definitely no.
I’m just going to go some dead heading then go in and think about tea.
I’ll speak soon
Love and hugs
Debbie xx

[christine51]

Hi Debbie,
Your card was quick. Just wanted to let you know I’ll be thinking of you and really pleased your op isn’t affected by the strikes. Would be a huge waste of everyones time , not to mention the costs involved for the NHS with all your consultations and blood tests if it weren’t to go ahead. You’ve done well with getting organised and all the jobs to make it easier for you when you get home. It is very quick. You’ll be back and in the garden in no time.
I do think having the info is good so that you know what is happening on a physical level. When I had the lump removed the first time round I was at college and had someone (a stranger) video the procedure to know exactly what was happening so I could use it in my work. Very clinical I know. My family couldn’t understand it. I was amazed that the lump and surrounding tissue was the size of the surgeons fist. And I only had small boobs (32B). I produced my Cancer 1: Lumpectomy and Cancer 2: Mastectomy using the footage, and also inspired to write my poetry included in the work (‘My Winter Skin’ and ‘Carve Me Up’). I also created a wreath with holly adding a plastic doll with it’s limbs dissected but dressed up in sexy underwear / nylons. Everyone was very shocked but it expressed the end of my femininity and sexuality as a woman.
Yes, I cannot quite believe that he is doing what he is doing and getting away with it. Untouchable. The police had no trace of the original report. It will be interesting to see what the MP has to say and the housing team. If he is allowed to continue parking there I will invite the large gardening van (2 of them) to park and he won’t like that. He already had a go for having it parked infront of their house on the road. I used to think that people who got so wound up about this stuff must have nothing better to do but it isn’t the case. I’m upholding the rules I have to abide by. Cannot even begin to express how fuming I am.
Have you settled into your summer hols now, even if the weather isn’t exactly ‘summer’. A walk in the park sounds perfect. Being out and about, taking it easy, people watching. I enjoyed doing that when I waited for my niece when I’d met her for lunch ages ago. Makes me realise how much pressure I put on myself to be busy all of the time. There’s a skateboard park there too. It is fun watching them. Wouldn’t advise joining in!
My friend called round with a microwave meal for me as he doesn’t have a microwave and doesn’t want me to do it for him so I have a beef thing for tonight. Looks lovely and will make a change from salad, soup and cheese on toast.
Got some more jobs done after posting to Tina. So here they are:
Tied in the ivy to train along and up.

Positioned a new tray from the small pond at the big pond

and redid the pump and tray for the hose at the small pond. It had been spilling out and losing water so that is now fixed.

Tied the new trellis I had cobbled together with pieces left over after doing the fence and tied the climber in to go up and across the pergola. Creates an impact behind the buddha, framing the window up the garden.

Added treatments to both ponds.
When I went back out the bloke came out too, crashing about. Wonder if he’s annoyed that I called the ticket man out. He must be laughing his head off that nothing can be done to stop him. We shall see!
Oh, I found Porsch curled up on the front doorstep. Just by chance that I had gone in for my camera and there was a delivery. So yes, she was ignoring me and very naughty being out the front. She can very easily be run over now that he is tearing around on the grass. Maybe I should lie down in protest under his wheels so he can’t leave. Or do one of those fake getting knocked over things you see on youtube (where they hurl themselves on the bonnet and claim it was the driver!) Wonder where the law stands on that when it is on the grass. Probably doesn’t count. OMG the injustice!
I shall let you enjoy your tea.
Lots of love xxx

[Suzanne30]

Hi Neil,

I have heard that Oppenheimer is long and some say quite arduous but glad you enjoyed it. Not a film I’ll be watching as just not my type of film but the friends of mine that have seen have all liked it.

I do hope you are keeping ok and keeping busy and as Christine said miss you when you’re not posting but understand life gets in the way.

Also just wanted to pop onto tonight was to wish you a good day on Friday and to wish your mum a lovely heavenly birthday x
I hope you have something planned for yourself and know your mum will be remembered by you in the best way.

Will pop in and see how you are tomorrow.
Take care and much love x

[Suzanne30]

@christine51 have you caught up with Porscha yet? If so where was she hiding? Chances are she was in a huff and ignoring you.

Mr T is the parking wanker isn’t he? As I’ve said before he reminds me of my neighbour and I live for the day he is caught out and fined for the places/way he parks. They don’t care about anyone else apart from themselves and when challenged about it they are just gaslight you…not sure I would have reported them but I admire and respect you doing so and hope you get the end result you want.

Up at the Loch now the male chick has disappeared and the mother hasn’t re-appeared yet so god knows what’s going on….we’ll have to wait until March now to see if the mother returns and may never know the fate of the male chick…nature can be so cruel at times x

Got a couple of days off so going to meet up with a friend tomorrow as he’s been off work a lot lately with depression and then may go to the local Comicon with my goddaughter on Sat but will see. Sunday I’m helping my old boss with his stocktake in a store 40 miles away and he better be grateful x

Sorry if I’ve missed you saying this or not but have you managed to get a swim lately?

My eyes are shutting so will bide you a good night and will pop back in soon x

[NEILB72]

Hi Suzanne
Mums birthday is next Fri 11th so thats why I’m seeing the Crazy For You in the West End next week . Its at the top of my list, brilliant reviews and a show that Mum would like. A feel good musical so hopefully keep my mind in a good place for a few days🙏
Speak again soon
Sending love and best wishes
Neil x

[christine51]

Hi Suzanne,
Lovely to see you. I know how busy you are and I’m pleased you have some time off. Sure your mate will appreciate you meeting up. You are good helping your old boss. Hope you’re getting extra!
It’s so sad about the chick. I can’t watch nature programmes and some of the youtube clicks are horrific so have to scroll quickly as I don’t want that stuff in my head. So are there no chicks at all now? And what about the beavers? You haven’t mentioned them lately?
Porsch was curled up at the front door when I was looking for her. Don’t know how she got out there. And now that the pensioner is driving around like a boy racer tearing up the grass it’s dangerous for her. I contacted my MP and they will contact the council who will now have to deal with the situation. Couldn’t believe he didn’t get a ticket. Peeps like him obviously know all the loopholes in the law. But the enforcement bloke I spoke to wouldn’t / couldn’t tell me why he got away with it. At least the creep was quiet about what he was doing and not in my face. Since the fence / trellis has been finished he has taken the mirror down (using it to watch me) and also replaced the fence panel at the top of his garden. I suspect he was watching me in the dark from the neighbours garden as they have a raised concrete dining area. I told my therapist this but without proof it’s all just me being suspicious of him. Don’t believe in coincidences. He was making a right racket at 5 am so I checked my camera and he seems to be away camping for at least the weekend judging by the stuff being loaded into the car. Means I can get out in my garden and get started on turning the soil over behind the pond and hopefully get something planted. Rain is off and on so can’t do the patio grouting but I do have to dig out the stinking old bird seed form the little table next to the lawn. I had graveled that area and will have to pave it as an extension of the patio just to keep it clean. Nastiest job of them all.
Porsch was losing weight again but has had 2 breakfasts this morn. She just eats the gravy. Such a waste. But I’m glad she’s on the mend again. I’m sure she stops eating when she’s not happy, like when I’m busy and can’t just stop straight away.
Will have to start the swimming again. I didn’t go after therapy last week like I usually do because I had no energy. I’m ok again so will book for next week. I have my blood iron appointment next week. Will be good to get it sorted. Iron is being stored in the body and not circulating so that could be why I have chronic fatigue. It comes in waves and I just have to rest and ‘bank’ sleep to recover.
Must do the fishtank clean today. Such a massive task but looks great when it’s done. Did you see the army netting I used on the arches at the fence? It’s very effective. You could disguise your fence with it. Looks just like ivy. The fence was an ongoing massive job and it hasn’t really sunk in that I’ve done it. I think when the bed is planted up I’ll get a sense of achievement.
Enjoy your time off! Maybe’s your mate would like to go up the Loch with you? Being out in Nature will give a sense of perspective and maybe’s a little relief. Really want to start going to the woods again. Want to get out on my bike but haven’t sorted the chain. Might take it to the bike shop instead of fiddling about doing it myself. It’s tied to the trellises at the mo so it can’t be nicked from the garden.
Looking forward to your pics.
Lots of love xxx

[christine51]

Hi Neil,
Glad you have something booked. Hope it helps on your mams special day.
Just been cleaning the fishtank. Always a relief to get it done but I now have to do the bathroom and floors. Was in the garden earlier putting up another army camoflage to hide the cobbled bit of fence and it looks great, just like ivy. Can hardly tell the difference.

Will add more to finish that area and add another 2 half arches to hide a bit more so that if the creep is looking down the garden he shouldn’t be able to see into my windows.
Wanted to get cracking on clearing the stinking old bird seed but the hillbilly (as I am now calling him) is there, parked on the grass as per. I positioned my bins on my path so that I will hear him moving them if he does drive over my lawn. It really is infuriating. Haven’t heard from the MP or council yet. Will be livid if he is allowed to continue. I’ll have to see if they will fence off my section to create a safe passage to get from house to car. He drives like a boy racer, as if the pavement and grass are just an extension of the road. I have never seen this happen in all the time I’ve been driving. Unbelievable. He’ll be setting up a trailer to live in next to the house if he isn’t sorted out. It’s like living in the trailer parks of America, or how I imagine them to be. I know how that sounds but he doesn’t know how to behave himself. I really do feel sorry for his wife! Imagine being married to that! I’m so angry that this is now what I am having to live with.
Soz for going on. I rang my therapist yesterday about it but can’t pester him again. Will just have to wait.
Will you have a nice bit of cake for your mams birthday? Mam always made lovely cakes. I’d help do dishes and tidy while she was baking. I miss visiting the old house and garden. I have all my memories there. Sometimes I wonder why I haven’t spoken to her for ages, thinking she’s away somewhere, visiting up North or on hols. And then I realise. Finding it quite hard again.
Did you see the new drama ‘Wolf’ last week? It was very good. Will wait until next week instead of watching it on the laptop. It must be wonderful to get the full experience of a film on the big screen. So long since I’ve been to the pics.
Off to clean the bathroom now. The joys of running a home alone!
Lots of love xxx
Oh, nearly forgot about my tiny mushroom village which has sprung up in the lobelia. Made me smile because mam loved her fairies. They would make great bonnets.

xxx

[christine51]

Hi all,
As you know from my previous post I’ve had a productive day. Also fixed a bird house (kept putting off doing it) and fixed a new long handle to the broken garden broom. Started cutting down the dead branches and overhang of the old climbing rose over the roof. Finished doing the fishtank and cleaning up. Had to order a new tank light so I popped the shrine lights and candles on which I haven’t been doing for a while as I find it very upsetting. And it hit me. Absolutely sobbing for mam. Think the stress and feeling exhausted has spiraled and I have become totally overwhelmed again. I have to be pro active and so gathered some bits from random drawers to create a collage as an addition to the shrine. So here it is:

Printed cards I made for mam for Easter (Jesus 1) and Mothers Day (3 Ages of Woman). She had kept them in her bedside drawer. I found them when we were clearing things. Made me cry. The tiny patchwork is from my childhood where I did the centres and mam did the work to finish the squares for the massive crochet blanket we used for camping trips that now lives on the back of my sofa. So happy memories. The ballet dancer is mam taking me for ballet lessons with my sister on weekends then encouraging us to keep practicing. I can still remember stretching using the dining room table. Mams loch of hair lives inside the angels tub. I’ve had that absolutely years. The black cross pin was given to us all at the funeral to remember mam so she will always be with us when we wear it. The large diamante stud represents light and enlightenment through death. I hope she is bathed in light and sunshine wherever she is. The pink sequin flower is mams love of her garden, along with the green beetle we always loved seeing because of it’s bright emerald green sheen. The moth is a sign of new beginnings. Hope she is free and enjoying her new life. I just wish she would tell me she is fine and that I will see her again. I would feel settled then instead of this emptiness and yearning for her to visit me. I have placed all of these things in the beautiful egg she bought me one xmas. So her hair sits on a cushion of crochet inside the cherub tin, with the cross pin and flower garden nestled alongside.

The diamante, beetle and moth sit ontop.

The egg takes it’s original position inside the shrine with the ballerina and her cards. She must have had them for years as these prints are old now.

I added more diamante studs throughout for extra sparkle.

I found an old pic of my parents getting ready to go out on a New Years Eve. Mam looks so happy. She hated New Year because her mam died at home with us after a long illness. She always said she didn’t want us caring for her in that way. That is why they moved to the assisted living so help was on hand whenever she needed it. It’s not very clear but the other half of the pic is their cat Tuppence, a stray we found watching us in the shed. I popped a candle on with rhubarb oil and a josh stick for a small moment of asking mam to visit me just to let me know she is enjoying herself and to tell her I am missing her so much.
The shrine fills the room with light but just makes me sad because all I want is to have my mam back. I can’t bear being without her.

I’ve calmed down a bit now but the ache of missing her is just unbearable. Have gone to that quiet place where I feel exhausted after being in a wild panic because she isn’t here and never will be again. I’m sure it’s because I haven’t had the shrine on for a while that I’m so upset. I hate being without her. I feel so alone.
Porsch has come in, had a bite and is settled down on her cushion. Won’t turn round. But this is where we sit together watching tv. And if I wake up during the night I’ll curl up next to her with a blanket. She’s always happy to see me.

The girls are happy in their clean tank. Can’t quite believe how big the little one has got.

So shattered. Will get the washing in (it didn’t rain but threatened to all day), feed the fox, and have a bowl of veg soup with ham chunks. Eastenders and Monty.
See you tomorrow.
Lots of love xxx

[Suzanne30]

Hi Neil,

Oh I’m usually late for everything lol but will remember for next week x

Who is in Crazy for you in this run? x I’ve never seen it but why do I think Gary Wilmott was in it years ago or have I totally made that up lol x

Anything planned for this weekend? the weather is meant to be pretty bad down your way this weekend so take care x

Much love x

[Suzanne30]

Hi Christine:)

There is one chick (PF4) left and the dad (LM12) are still up there but only probably for another couple of weeks before they head off on their flight to Africa x
Now I’m not up at the Loch at 6am I haven’t seen the beavers cause they tend to only be seen dawn and dusk but still see the chewed trees so know they are still about lol x

So glad you found Porscha and Cal’s eating a lot more these days but think he needs wormed tbh lol x

I get the frustration about Mr T parking wherever he wants and nothing being done by officials but they probably do need a bit of evidence cause without it it’s just your word against his….such bullshit x

I don’t get extra pay for helping my old boss but he said he’s buying pizza so he better get me a decent one lol x I’m easy pleased x

My buddleia has started blooming again and saw a couple of butterflies on it today so was very happy and then I see I have a stalk of foxglove has appeared in my garden and bumblebees were at it x just need it to be dry on my next day off and will get my fence painted x

Saw someone had rearranged the doormats in the local garden centre lol x

Took the opportunity of him sleeping to cut his nails lol

Cute but not £500 cute!

Love all your photos x

Will pop in tomorrow after I’ve been up to the Loch x

[Suzanne30]

@Pablo @Nick22 hope you both are keeping well as just seem very quiet lately xx