Hi Suzanne
You’re probably thinking of Anything Goes( saw that on this very day 2 years ago- when things were normal!). This has Charlie Stemp who is one of our biggest West End stars. Saw him in Half A Sixpence, Mary Poppins and hes been on Broadway too. Really looking forward to it. Got great price ticket too!
Nothing planned weekend( apart from looking after my neighbour’s cat).
Weather supposed to be much better midweek.
Catch up again soon
Sending love and best wishes
Neil x
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Hi Neil.
Now you say Anything Goes that sounds familiar but I’m so daft that everytime I hear that I think of the opening song of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom lol x
Glad you were successful getting a good prices seat for the show and from the reviews I saw on the posters when I was down you are in for a treat x
Not done much apart from work the last couple of days but off this Friday so going to see if my pal wants to go to Edinburgh as some of the Festival shows have started and the city just has a great vibe about it at this time x I think you would love it if you have never been as there are so many shows to see and some prices aren’t too bad but you always know how to bag a good bargain lol x
Anyway I hope you are doing ok just now and will pop on here midweek.
Until then take care and much love 
x
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Hi All,
Where are you? Been very up and down since last here, missing mam, not able to stay in the garden when Mr T is lurking as he seems to come out when he hears me so I can’t get anything done without panicking and having to come back in. Seems the creep is still away so I’m hoping to get the other 2 half arches up with the camouflage netting to finish blocking his view so I can sit with the sitting room windows open and not worry he is watching from up the garden as the gardens are on a slope.
Still haven’t had a reply from the council about the parking on the grass situation and driving over my garden. The grass was cut yester and could see the tyre tracks so he’s still using my garden as his exit when he comes in from the other side. He said he wouldn’t do t but he continues to. It’s incredibly stressful.
After having rain yester the sun is out and very bright today. Little baby sparrows are fighting over the bird feeders. So feisty. Think I will get my tubs ready from up the garden to the patio for the shaded plants to be planted along the fence / back of pond. And collect the stinky bird seed at the little table / path area. I’m listing these jobs but feeling very tired again. So I shall see what actually gets done, if anything.
Debbie, good luck for tomorrow. I’ll be thinking of you and have my hospital appointment tomorrow for the high iron in my blood. Hope to get an explanation at least and a course of action to lower it as it does go up and down. Let us know how you are and when you get back home.
Neil, I’ll pop in Friday for your mams birthday but just wanted to say I’m thinking of you too. Whatever you do on the day will be very special.
Tina, hope Zoe isn’t causing havoc and you’re bobbing along, getting out into the garden. I’ve just been out feeding the birds and looking forward now to getting out there for the day. Let me know you’re ok. Miss you.
Suzanne, I know you’ll be working hard but always love seeing you when you pop in. Like I said about the car/grass situation I’m still waiting to see if the council stop him but I was imaging how you’d react having your awful neighbour tearing up your garden whenever he feels like it. Can imagine your temper! Wish I hadn’t been as nice towards him about my bay and he might not have been doing what he’s doing now. Looking forward to hearing your news.
Beki, how’s the swimming going? When I think of you now I imagine you in your swim hat braving the cold water with your pals. Any projects on the go? Do you have an xmas theme to start on? I got my mams lovely curtains out of the loft to hang at the doors for the winter. Will have to halve them and can just imagine mams reaction as they were very precious to her. But if they are being used I will have her here with me and they’ll tie in with the color scheme.
Nickki, how is the move going? Are you in? I know you’ll be mad busy but would love to hear about it all and see some pics. Will be a very emotional time for you but do pop in. It always lifts me to connect with you all when I’m feeling lost.
Palou, hope you are well. I know I don’t see you here often but was very touched when you asked after Porsch. She’s improving her appetite again with her meds (still a fight to get the tablet into her) and quite happy. I’ve been sleeping on the sofa with her next to me on a pile of cushions and she’s loving the attention. Still checking on her breathing when she sleeps and she has me up throughout the night wanting a bite of food.
If I have missed anyone don’t take it to heart and let me know. Love you all and wondering how you are all doing. Don’t know why I’ve been so upset again about mam. Think the time she has been gone is taking it’s toll. That heartache never goes away. It sits there waiting for me to be feeling a little more fragile than usual and pounces for the emotions to erupt again. I’m grateful now to get through the day without much turbulence. But I know the panic will eventually subside eventually and I will regain a little hope in getting through the day again.
Hope to see you all soon.
Lots of love xxx
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Hello Christine
I’ve just looked back and can’t believe it’s been 5 days since I have been on the forum.
Thanks for sharing those photos. Your living space looks really opulent and sumptuous with all the fabric work and different textiles. Like an Eastern Egyptian den! The ballet dancer jewellery item is beautiful by the way.
Just can’t seem to want to engage in anything at all myself. I’d like to make a piece of art and I keep looking at all the items on Pinterest but can’t put a single thing into practice. We have had some bad news with him as the GP have said they suspect a carcinoma so he’s on a 2 week wait rule appt and has to have investigations. I was at hospital yesterday and will go with him Friday. Plus there is a further test at the end of August. It’s the same type as what is in the family already and is more noted than the others for genetic transmission so everything is in limbo right now. Plus I was messing about on the internet last night in bed and found out the the guy I was with for 12 years before I met my Husband has passed away a year ago. We hadn’t spoken since the late 90’s but it was a shock as he was a physically healthy person but apparently had a long illness. I hadn’t seen him on the streets for a while and you start to notice an “absence” don’t you. We’d never speak if we passed each other nor acknowledge each other since we parted anyway, which now all seems a bit bizarre but it’s past now. I think what bothers me as well is how he was a piece of my life jigsaw that interlocked with Mum being here and everything is just crumbling away it seems. I won’t go on any further as I’m only depressing people.
It’s warm here today right now and the Sun is out so I’ve got the kitchen door open. Garden seems to be in a bit of an inbetween stage right now. I wish I could find some motivation to for a last push with it to extend the time of what’s there so I’ll see what I can try and do.
Good to hear Porsche is holding her own. She’s obviously got her Mum’s spirit.
I’ll check in later as he has just come in so need to cook something.
Did I remember it’s today or tomorrow that you are going to the hospital? Think you said tomorrow but if it’s this afternoon I hope all goes well.
Chat later abd much love xx
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Hi Christine,
I hope all goes well for you tomorrow at your hospital appointment.
I have some disappointing news, I had a phone call from the hospital this morning. My operation has been cancelled due to the junior doctors industrial action. I do have a new date, Saturday 26th August, which is the day after the consultants next strike, so I hopeful this one will go ahead. It means I will probably have to have my pre assessment again as it will be just over 4weeks since it was done.
To say I was a bit gutted is under estimating, having mentally prepared for this week and followed hibiscrub washing all week. Now have to prepare again and had to re-book my final blood test.
Oh well these things happen for reason I guess.
I have been out on a trip with my daughter today, which helped getting over the disappointment. We went to Epworth in North Lincolnshire, the home of the Wesley family, founder’s of the Methodist movement.
Spent a lovely day together, visited the Rectory where they grew up, had a guided tour. Also visited Methodist Church and St Andrews Church in the town. We found a lovely teashop for lunch, the locals are so friendly and welcoming were worth the visit.
I will be thinking of you tomorrow
Love and hugs
Debbie xx
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@christine51 just had a very crappy week at work as the boss is off on holiday and I had to have three days out of store elsewhere and the junior manager was in charge and as expected it’s been an absolute disaster and guess who has to sort it all out….muggins here x
The neighbour who parks on our grass is away on holiday at moment so it’s been very peaceful and their kids have gone with them….bliss lol x
Bought a new cat scratcher for Cal online and it arrives yesterday and it’s teeny….no wonder it was so cheap and he’s shown no interest in it at all 
x
Can’t believe how the nights are drawing in…not even 10pm and it’s dark outside x been still quite a warm day today so got my grass all cut. If a nice day on Fri will try get the back fence painted x
Have you managed to get swimming at all this week like you had hoped?
I do worry about you at times though when you get in your downward spirals as just can’t seem to reach you to help but understand everyone takes different time frame to adjust x
Last blurry photo of the female chick Osprey….probably no more until next March 
x
@NEILB72 hope you are doing ok this week x
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Hi guys,
I’ll catch up properly tomorrow as I got in late from having had a very productive day in the garden and need to get to bed so I can get up early for my hospital appointment. Thank you all for remembering! I’m sure it will just be going through the results from March and I might have to get an up to date blood test. Will pop in when I get back and do my pics from today.
Debbie, that is awful that you’ve been let down so late in the day for your op tomorrow but at least you have another date not far away. Some things do happen for a reason and it’s good news that you even have a date and that it’s this month. Very disappointing though and with all the prep you’ve been doing. But I’m pleased you got out and enjoyed your day. Beautiful church window! The colours are stunning. I’m always inspired to create my religious themed work when see a beautiful glass window. It’s not just the glass and design but the magnificent architecture of the buildings. I still remember the stillness of sitting alone in the chapel when I used to go for my radiotherapy in London.
Tina, fingers crossed that whatever the news is there will be treatment and a positive outcome. Just look at me with two breast cancers in the same breast from a young age (25 and 33). I can only imagine how distressed you are. And then to have heard news about your ex must have been very upsetting, even if you hadn’t spoken or acknowledged one another. Like you say, he’s part of your life and the connection to that time with your mam. Living in ‘limbo’ is normal under these stressful circumstances. Getting through the appointments and tests take time and until that is done you will be ‘waiting’. I remember how surreal it was waiting to see if the cancer had spread (it hadn’t). Time is such a strange creature. We can’t hurry it up, however much we want to. All we can do is bide our time until we have the results. I’ll be popping in asap when I get back.
Suzanne, your pics are very great, as usual, very atmospheric. Love a stormy sky. Wish my pond had water lillies like that! Babe, there’s a film starting so I’ll go but I will be back tomorrow so I can chat to you properly. I feel reconnected to my garden again after today so I’m back in the game! as Micky Flanagan would say. My down days are very dark but I know they will come to an end and I’ll resurface again. It is like coming back up for air. I’ve learned to appreciate the days where I’m bobbing along without too much turbulence. Was out there today despite Mr T crashing about when he heard me being busy but I didn’t stop. Thought the unbearable stench of the festering bird seed would deter him but he was determined to stay. And so did I. Creep has been away on hols so took the opportunity of getting stuck into a job I’d been putting off for ages. Kept thinking the pong was the fox! See you tomorrow.
Lots of love xxx
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Hi Christine
I mentioned I’d pop back but I’m exhausted so won’t stay long. I’m so really glad you’ve had such a good day doing stuff in the garden. Him not being around yet must make you feel like you have been set free, so much lighter and less apprehensive I reckon. I can only imagine how exhilarating that must feel. I admire how your zest eventually finds it’s way and you get cracking again when you are able. Thanks for sharing how you felt when you were going through your Cancer.
Catch up tomorrow
Mich love xx
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Hi Christine
Good luck for today at the appt and make sure you treat yourself to something nice afterwards.
xx
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Hi everyone
The days fly past so quickly I cant believe I havent posted anything for about a week!
As mentioned before, Mums birthday this week and went to see a show yesterday( one that she would have loved). Saw Crazy For You and it was fantastic- Gershwin music, singing, dancing and the brilliant Charlie Stemp in the lead role. The guy is multi talented.
Helps me to keep in a good frame of mind for tomorrow.
Sending love to you all. Looks like summer is back ( for a while at least!).
Best wishes
Neil x
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Hi all,
Just got back from my appointment and it’s great news. I have high iron in my blood because I was on iron tablets for years after my cancer / chemo treatment. It’s coming down slowly and she’s not at all worried. The normal range doesn’t apply to me because of everything that has happened. So I have another blood test to do to update the results from March. She did say to swap my hamburger for chicken burger and I can give blood if they’ll have me. Being menopausal means there’s no natural release so if I can get rid of blood it will lower the iron. Soz Neil for all the lady chat! You’re so lucky not to have to endure the menopause etc. This has been ongoing for years so it is good news to know I don’t have to worry. And the high cholesterol isn’t connected either. So I have blood tests in a couple of weeks. Had a massive panic attack when I was there but the staff were really lovely, giving me a quiet room away from the waiting room. It’s so intense, like I will pass out with fear, but as soon as I’m done the relief kicks in and I’m ‘normal’ again.
Debbie, it really is bad luck to have a cancelled appointment but it is good you will be seen quickly. An indefinite wait would be torture. And just think, you’ll have even more time off work. Am I right that you retire at xmas? Might have it wrong. Also, now the sun is back out and it’s quite hot again here you can enjoy the summer before your op. You’ve done all your prep in the house and garden so make the most of the extra time you have.
Tina, tell your bro I’m wishing him well, even though he’s a horror to you! You are such a good sister to him and I hope if the time comes he will return the favour and be there for you. I know when I had breast cancer my sis (the one who moved and stopped speaking to me) said it was worse for her! because all she could do was be there to support me. I remember when she shaved my head because my hair was falling out after the chemo. She was upset but I’m very practical and got a fabulous blond wig. If it happened again I would have all the colours and styles and wear a new one each day. It was very hot and itchy though in the summer.
I did have a great day working on the patio area yester and have been rejuvenated again. I had lost that connection with my garden when I lost my energy. But here are my pics from yester:
? Can’t load any pics? Will have to try later. Don’t know why. I basically worked all day on clearing the stinky bird feed from the patio, bench and table. Trying again. Hooray! I still had my camera connected and turned on!
This took me hours. I had to chisel away at the grooves in the table to get rid of the accumulated stink. Ran out of time to hose it down and had hoped to get that done today but the buggar is in the garden (Mr T) and as soon as I let Porsch out there there was laughing (don’t know who is there) and some comment from the other side of the fence right where I was, like they were waiting for me to go out, and when I came back in I could hear comments about me being paranoid! Who would want to listen to that? They’re very brave when they aren’t on their own and it’s not being said to my face. Arsehole! Soz for the language).
Back to yester. I relocated the bird feeders so I can use the table when it goes back.
Added the old rose branches I’d cut from the pergola and strengthened the arches up the lawn. Birds use them as perches.
Secured the arch raising the height of the thick climber at the top of the lawn, letting in light.
Dug out the lawn of layers of bird seed (stinking with all the rain which doesn’t drain away). Shame as I’d seeded it not long ago and it was growing in. Will redo it and have the birds feeding from the patio again.
The little birds were looking for worms as soon as I’d finished.
Dug out the little feeding table area too
and I will extend the patio slabs so that I can continue using the table and be able to sweep up the debris. I was wretching doing this job and have to sort through it to get the stones to recreate the path next to the pond. Will be worth it when it’s done but really not looking forward to that.
Just been updating my therapist about my hospital visit so there’s now lots of gossip about me in the garden. So bloody nosy!
Tina I love that you love my sitting room. I wanted to show you all where we sit together watching tv. Porsch has a new nest of cushions now on the floor next to me. She loves a new place to sit.
Suzanne, I’m well jel of your foxglove. Just can’t seem to grow them and they are my fave flower with the beautiful colours and patterns. I have to admit defeat and just do what I know will grow. I have so many tubs of roses and dahlias with no growth at all. Think I’ll try some topiary instead. Bushes must be easier to grow. Be pretty with lots of balls on the patio. Hope it stays dry for your painting. Always takes longer than you expect and it’s hard graft. I remember doing the trellises, having to turn them to get into every nook and cranny and then do the other side. Hope they put a new fence up soon (Mr T side). I feel so much safer now I have raised the height of the fence on the creep side. Have more half arches to add but not doing that with an audience. Really wanted to clean the patio but I know they’ll be watching me. What is the fascination? I just don’t get it. Would love to live on an island with no neighbours. Bliss!
Wondering why you don’t become a manager of your store? Sounds like you run the place anyway and keep everyone in line. Sure you’d make a great one. Poor Cal with his tiny scratcher! Mam always used to say to me ‘You get what you pay for’ and unless you can see it infront of you it’s mostly true. If you want any online plants I was very impressed with Gardening Express. Great size for the price. I still have some colour left in the garden but not much. Here it is:
Pansies are still putting on a good show. Will get more for Autumn.
Geraniums
daisies,
carnations,
Sweet William
the ballerina’s (fuschia)
and lobellia still going.
Loving my splendid yellow daisy weed
and the pinks in the pram.
The orange flames are coming out to play
and the nasturtians are quite abundant in the bathtub
with a first flower.
I’m loving the new bed (old shed area) which is really thriving.
These white flowers are lovely
and this beauty is from the pound shop years ago.
I have a dark red rose to compliment the colour scheme (not planned).
Delighted with the growth on this tree. Will block the view up the garden when looking through the ‘window’ into the new room behind the pond.
My ivy is settling in and creating a dramatic sweep around the old pram
Buddha head
and steps.
Hoping to cover the entire fence if I can.
Still not really celebrated having finished the fence and trellises (creep side) now that I have a new anxiety (Mr T and he doesn’t even live there! but can’t stay away).
Planning on getting my chain fixed soon so I can get out on my bike at the end of summer, to the park and woods. Your Loch is magnificent. Getting away from home will put a new perspective on things now that I have no privacy in my garden.
Neil, fab that your show was really good. Hope your good mood carries you through tomorrow. Your mam would be amazed at all the things you’ve been doing, the wonderful shows and theatre trips. Have you planned a card / cake to celebrate? Mam always had us all round for a tea party, whether it was in the garden or the house. Nothing better than a great spread and everyone together. I miss the chaos of a busy kitchen, the anticipation of delving into tasty cooked treats, with pies and pasties on cold days. Cards and flowers lined up on the sideboard. Wrestling my nephew out of my fave chair. Scrummaging in cupboards before the food is started and being sent out into the garden to run around until it was time to help. The chaos used to drive me mad (when the children were little) but I’d rather that than the peace and quiet I have now.
It’s so sunny now in the garden but I have to clean the patio and table if I want to sit out there. Best makes a start. Time does go so quickly when kept busy. I did wonder where you all were! Have you been in touch with your ballet friends online? And heard from your Oz family? Did they enjoy their trip? Mam used to love seeing her old pals and family when they went up north, usually in Sept / Oct.
Going to get the hose out and start cleaning even if I have an audience from behind the old fence! Will just ignore them. Enjoy the sunshine.
Nickki, wondering how you’re getting on with the move?
Lots of love xxx
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Hi Tina,
forgot to mention, the ballerina is just a cheap glitter xmas tree decoration but reminds me of being little. Might have been from the pound shop. Mam was such a wonderful mam. Gave me the space to dream and express myself, to try out different things until I found my love of textiles. I wish I had thanked her for just being her. xxx
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Hi Tina,
Not sure if I replied to this bit. I’ve found that stress, anxiety etc is really physically and mentally exhausting and I reach a point where I have to just stop and lie down, watch a film and sleep if I need to. Not resting just makes it more aggressive and prolonged where I become like a zombie. So when you feel exhausted please rest or do something calming. Sometimes taking action and regaining control, however small, creates a sense of balance and having control. Even a decision not to do something is productive. This is such a stressful time for you, even if it isn’t happening to you. I hope this is a moment of clarity for your bro to appreciate the loving person you are.
I’ve been sitting out in the garden but it’s too hot to do anything physical in the sun, even getting the hose out and cleaning the patio down as I had intended. So I’ve been sitting sewing to the running commentary about how anti social I am. It seems privacy is not part of the social housing experience! When I was not reacting there was lots of banging of the back gate next to where I was sitting. Realised just how threadbare the fence is and the big hole Porsch has been getting out of to get out the front. She’ll get run down if she’s out there. If I could pick my house and garden up and transport it somewhere peaceful I would be stress free and I’m sure my panic and agoraphobia would become diluted. Really need the council to get a fence up. I mentioned it when I had my roof work done but haven’t heard anything else. They just need to use my posts and add more to strengthen the existing structure. I hate being spied on and watched. All I can do is pretend it’s not happening.
Are you getting some sun? Summer seems to be back, although I think rain is forecast for the weekend. So pleased I dug out all the stinky bird food. It ponged. I kept thinking it was the fox. My jobs left to do are to sift through the 3 buckets of gunk for the stones and replace the path at the pond, collect stones as I’m turning over the bed next tot he fence behind the pond, plant in the bamboos and shade loving plants to finish that section, cut out any dead branches over the pond and in the pergola ‘roof’, collect the bulbs to dry and use the compost to reseed the lawn again. Make the patio pretty with pots so I can plant them with Autumnal pansies. The last lot took me right through to summer. I’m sure they are the same ones I have now. I’ve given up trying to plant at the very shaded top pond so will accept defeat and just use the area for the dead branches and extend the habitat there. Have to check out the hutch and see if I have any hedgehogs. It’s very old so I might just use the green recycle garden bin on its side and fill it with fresh hay/straw for the fox. And I still haven’t done any weeding. So lots to do but its nothing compared to the heavy fence work I’ve been doing.
It’s strange having had cancer and it not affecting the way I see life. You mentioned me sharing my cancer experience. People say they appreciate every day but I don’t view the world any differently. It happened and I moved on, got over it. Whatever is going on with bro will be very frightening. It’s the waiting and not knowing that is the difficult part. When you have a plan of action / treatment etc you can just get on with what is in front of you. I think that is why I can’t accept mam not being here, because I don’t know anything (where she is and if she is happy), I’m waiting to join her. I saw something on telly where it had been 5 years and someone was upset and apologising. The person was saying how there is no time limit on grief. It can take forever. Made me think of how I was treated by my family as soon as mam had left us. I didn’t understand it and still don’t.
Have you been inspired by anything you’ve seen on Pinterest or You Tube? It’s hard when I’m feeling lost and have no direction. But it will find you when the time is right. If something isn’t meant to be it will become a difficult thing, whatever it is. That is how I approach things now. I was never patient at all before. I love puzzles (sudoku, the maths one, logics, crossword, wordsearch). Dipping in and out in a short time keeps you focused on achieving something without it being too hard. I still have mams puzzle books even though I finished a lot of the bits she didn’t do. Can’t bring myself to throw them away because we would sit together doing our own in the garden over a cuppa. That’s what we would be doing now if she was here or I was at the old house.
Really quite relieved about my iron / blood appointment. Doing everything right except my treat burger. Will switch to chicken burger in future, though it never is as tasty. Didn’t get a treat after my visit. They have a little shop but I just wanted to get back after having a panic attack waiting for the appointment. Surprised I’m not asleep now as I was awake from about 5.
Suzanne mentioned about the nights drawing in early. By 9.30 it’s getting dark . I discovered the fairy lights mam bought me for xmas still work and weren’t the ones damaged by the squirrel. Will try fusing the wires together with some tape and see what happens. Hope it doesn’t set the garden alight!
Going to crack on with some sewing. I have to halve mams beautiful curtains so I have one each for the doors for winter and I can just imagine her reaction when I start cutting! So putting off doing it. But I will.
Take care hun and I’ll be thinking of you
Lots of love xxx
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Hi Neil,
The theatre and set look fantastic x not familiar with the cast or the man you named but Gershwin can be hard to pull off if not talented.
Just wanted to pop on and say thinking I’d you tomorrow x do you have any plans for tomorrow? x
How are you doing these days? Keeping busy?
Often wonder what you’re up to when you don’t post for a while. Concern but also cause I’m a nosey sod lol x
Will pop on and see how you are tomorrow.
Take care and much love x
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Hi Christine
I can’t believe how massive your garden appears. Twists and turns and little pathways. I didn’t buy any plants this year I don’t recall but just cultivated what was there. When I turned 50 my Sister bought me a cherry coloured lace-cap Hydrangea and not a clue how that’s managed to syrvive as I’ve been past 50 for quote a few years now! I have got a Budlleia too. I just can’t find the right spelling but you know what I mean! Be careful with the Foxgloves as they are really poisonous. Striking and beautiful but poisonous. I’m really sorry Dumb abd Dumb’er are stirring things up for you. I’d be tempted to let them overhear you pretending to be on the phone and make a load of stories up and then watch them make an idiot out of themselves when they realize it’s a load of codswallop that they have spread!
Thanks for wishing us luck tomorrow, I’ll tell him. Think we have to set off about 8.30am as the hospital is at the next town. It doesn’t seem two minutes since I was practically living there for 6 weeks, but I’m sure the same can be said for many. When we got out of the other hospital this week for a split second as we travelled back I was all geared up to walk in and tell Mum the story. Isn’t it utterly crap. I’m glad you are OK by the way and there is an explanation for the Iron and it’s treatable. That must be a weight off your shoulders. So whilst you feel ok get out in that back garden again and enjoy yourself and don’t bother what the FlowerPot Men are doing, try to pretend they’ve been abducted by aliens! It’s so very, very hot here and it’s nearly 11pm. Apparently it’s to rain overnight. I hope so, it is so humid.
I’ve just remembered I need to go and get my clothes ready for tomorrow so will make a quick dash!
Love to you and Porsche and I’ll get back on tomorrow, all being well xx
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Hi Neil
Just wanted to wish you a peaceful and reflective day full of warm memories for tomorrow.
Take it easy on yourself
xx
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Thinking of you today Neil
Love Debbie xx
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Hi Tina,
I wish I could keep my hydrangeas alive for more than a week. Mam’s old one in a pot didn’t survive when it came to me and neither has the lovely one I bought in Sainsbury’s at the beginning of summer. My garden might be too dark. Can’t grow foxgloves and I’m not sure of my buddlia ? has survived.
Be thinking of you tomorrow. Today has been a total blur. Porsch was very unwell and I didn’t know. I did some sewing yesterday thinking she was happy in the garden and discovered she hadn’t eaten or drank anything and was very cold wrapped in her blanket. I gave her her worming tablet and an appetite booster (not at the same time) but she was refusing to eat and drink. Tina I thought she was actually going to die last night. She had no energy and could barely walk so I had to carry her to the kitchen and then started bringing her food and water to her, tempting her with treats. I slept on the floor next to her all night and kept drifting off but barely slept. I was so relieved not to find her dead next to me this morning. She’s stuill not eating much but is wolfing down treats because she’s so hungry. She is weeing as usual and when she had a poo I realised she must have been spitting out her thyroid tablets because the poo was normal size and colour. So that could explain how poorly she is. Hope she picks up and starts eating and drinking again. She has put on a 0.1 lb on her weight so hasn’t lost any. I’ve been in bits all night and day. Totally exhausted but had to clean the fishtank, bathroom, kitchen, floors, lots of washing. I didn’t have a plate, bowl or cup left in the cupboard because I couldn’t leave her. Now she has had a tablet I’m hoping she will recover. I was telling her Grandma will be waiting to meet her and to not be scared, and that I will be utterly lost without her. When she does go I don’t know how I’ll get out of bed. I can barely cope with losing mam and now she will leave me too. She didn’t even want to go in the garden today, that’s how ill she has been. All I can do is watch her closely and keep trying to tempt her.
You did make me laugh with the Flowerpot Men! The creep has been away for a week and came back tonight. So I’ll have it now on both sides. He’ll be out with his power tools chopping everything within an inch of its life. But I have my niece coming over tomorrow. She rang by chance today and I was chatting for a few hours, telling her about Porsch and catching up on her news (new job etc). She has more free time now so if Porsch does recover I’ll start swimming again. But I can’t go anywhere at the mo. Can’t leave her. Be nice to see her.
Got a ridiculous reply from the council via the MP about parking on the grass situation. They watched the wrong house!! Twice!!! I despair of how incompetent they are. So I’ve drafted a reply for Monday in quiet times today when Porsch was sleeping. She enjoyed me sleeping next to her and was purring. But she is so very ill. I can’t bear to lose her. She is my baby.
Tell your bro good luck tomorrow. And you too. Will be thinking of you both. And imagining popping in to see your mam is the most natural feeling ion the world. If mam was in the hospital here I’d be doing the same. I told my niece how all I want is to be with her. If I could flip a switch I’d do it. If only it were that easy.
Lots of love xxx
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Hi Neil,
I’m so sorry I didn’t pop in today as I had intended. If you read my post to Tina you’ll see how very ill Porsch has become. I really thought I would lose her last night. So I completely forgot. I’m so sorry. But here is a card and flowers for your mam. I hope your day was ok and not too upsetting. I know how devastated I am on mams special days. I hope you treated yourself to a cake or something tasty to mark the occasion. But if not, whatever you did will be special. Your love for your mam is all you need.
Lots of love xxx
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@NEILB72 hips today hasn’t been too hard on you and you’ve been able to enjoy some cherished memories x
Take care and much love x
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