@christine51 just wanted to acknowledge how poorly Porscha has been and say I hope she is on the mend.
Will pop on tomorrow for a longer chat but today has been a bit of day so heading to bed.
Love to you both 
x
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Hello Christine
Iām so sorry to read that Porsche has been so poorly. I can well imagine how beside yourself with worry you must have been/are. She is such a little fighter isnāt she. It doesnāt surprise me if she has been spitting out her medication. You have to have eyes in the back of your head, Zoeās not too bad but with our other dog weād be forever finding half eaten tablets in corners etc. Just had a bit of a do with Zoe as Iād given her a dental chew and she wanted to take it outside to eat. Sheād only eaten a bit of it outside before she bolted for a cat and didnāt drop the chew beforehand so ended up choking on and off for half an hour. I was home alone so couldnāt even get her to a vet but it seems to have cleared but what an absolute worry pets are.
I think this year has been a bad year for Hydrangeas somehow. I had a few cuttings and although theyāve grown they havenāt flourished and these were from two completely different gardens. I deadheaded the one in the soil at the wrong time so that got absolutely zero flowers even though the greenery is quite healthy. Youāve done well to have so much variety in flowers ina garden with clay soil.
It was today he went to the Hospital but they didnāt do any procedures/investigations today. They are sending him next week for an endoscopy in a different hospital, the one Mum was in so not sure how Iāll manage as it was the one where Mum was. So itās still a wait unfortunately.
Yeah I can totally understand the Council watching the wrong house. People seem totally inept these days. I think you just end up giving in in the end as itās such a battle isnāt it. It seems thereās a never ending line of people for them to pass the buck through. Hope they come back and sort it.
I still havenāt started any more crafts but I requested on the Freegle App for some CD/DVDās that someone may be giving away and was lucky in that I got a reply say ing they had alred so those soon
Iām gonna have to sign off now. I wanted to write more but my eyes are closing as I write. Hope you both sleep well after last night and Iāll see you tomorrow.
Look after yourself and get plenty of sleep.
Much love xx
Tina
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Good morning to you all.
Thank you for the lovely messages you have sent me as I face Mumās birthday. Thought I would post to everyone as my data limit
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Hi Suzanne,
Really thought I was going to lose her, saying my goodbyes and waiting for her to slip away. Managed to get more appetite booster into her but itās limited to every other day. Not working like it was though as she would be ravenous hungry and now just has very small bits of gravy. Lost more weight again (2.3 lbs) like she was before. Iām waiting to see if the thyroid meds take effect again as I found she had spat another out. Now I have to go round her gums with my finger checking to see where sheās hidden it. Sheās always been very strong minded, determined to do what she wants. She doesnāt even want to go in the garden now and that was keeping me going, knowing she was still enjoying life. Very worried.
xxx
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Hi Tina,
I was just saying to Suzanne Porsch isnāt even wanting to go into the garden so I know how unwell she is feeling. The appetite booster isnāt working like it was. Sheās so uncomfortable and unhappy. Doesnāt want to be picked up and doesnāt purr when I stroke her. All she does is sleep. Thyroid cats can go downhill rapidly and it seems to be happening. Found another tablet again yesterday. I donāt want to say goodbye but I donāt want her to suffer either. Just ordered another batch of food for her. Itās a balancing act as to not running out and ordering in advance incase it doesnāt arrive on the day. Very expensive and very stressful. But Iād rather be coping with the stress of keeping her with me than being without her. Trying not to get upset again as my niece rang yesterday and said she will pop over today and bring lunch. Sheāll be really shocked when she sees her. It was by chance I heard the phone in the house as my mobile reception isnāt good. Sheās changed her job and has more free time to meet up and go swimming. Until Porsch recovers (or not) I wonāt be leaving the house at all. Might not get to therapy either.
Having to deal with the Council is the last thing I needed. I wonder if they string people along so they do give up. But Iām determined and have my MP liaising so they have to do something. They are total idiots, considering I gave pictures of the car and house. For them to be watching the creep with his van on the drive is beyond stupid. I sent my reply to my therapist and he said my response email was a measure of restraint! Canāt understand why the council, police and parking enforcement cannot tell him to stop. Donāt understand the reluctance. They havenāt given written warning as I would have assumed.
Well done for dealing with the stress of Zoe and her choking. I canāt face having another cat after Porsch. The house will feel so empty without her. Iāll still have the girls (fish) but itās not the same. Porsch is so full of love. Iām truly heartbroken that she is dying. Canāt do any more than Iām doing and sheās fighting me all the way.
Going o your mams hospital is going to be unbelievably hard for you and, Iām sure, for your bro. Being there will make the trauma of her being there and her illness raw again. People say that time heals but it doesnāt. It dilutes the upset for a short time until it overwhelms again like itās just happened. I still find myself thinking I havenāt spoken to mam in a while and then realise why. I wish I could fool myself into thinking she was just on holiday or visiting my sis up north and I was waiting for her to get back. How is your bro coping with all the stress of what is happening? Some people donāt react and keep it all inside with bursts of anger. And then others canāt hold it in and have no control at all of their emotions. I was always very much in control of myself and now I canāt switch it off.
My niece has just rang to say sheās on her way. If the chippie is open weāll have that or sheāll pop in Tescoās on the way. Will pick her up from round the corner to save her a walk. Canāt leave Porsch for any length of time.
Intrigued by the Freegle app. Must be similar to Freecycle here. Got some amazing things for the garden over the years - my wicker chair and sofa, slate tiles, furniture, plant pots, pond plants that died. Was going to sit out but didnāt get the patio cleaned. Plus the neighbours will be watching and listening to everything.
Itās like Iām trying to not cry about Porsch but I know I wonāt be able to hold it in all day. Will pop back later.
Lots of love xxx
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Hi Neil,
I always feel relieved when the day is behind me, moving on after the emotional rollercoaster of emotions and anticipation beforehand. Youāll be able to relax now and maybe plan another show or film?
Seeing my niece today so will try to get Porsch to eat before I have to leave to pick her up from the bus stop. Sheās so frail. Iām trying not to panic about this being the time to say goodbye. Hope I donāt cry the whole time my niece is here.
Lots of love xxx
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Dear Christine, so sorry to hear Porsch isnāt too well again and do hope she gets better soon and starts eating again.
Thought the pics you sent of her recently were adorable- she has such a lovely sweet face! Thought it was so kind that you slept next to her and she must really appreciate that.
Havenāt posted recently but do keep up with everyoneās newsā¦
Am missing my mother so much and trying to plod through the daysā¦
Also hope things work out and that the council get their act together and finally do something about Mr Tās driving shenanigans !
Hope you had a good lunch with your niece and pleased that the blood test was ok.
Very sorry to hear about your brother not being well Dear Tina and hope he can get some reassuring news from the tests. It must be very hard on you both and also feel for you having to go in the same hospitalā¦
Do hope your shoulder is now pain free and that Zoe is playing in a slightly calmer manner!
Dear Debbie sorry to hear that your operation was postponed again - must be very frustrating and do hope everything goes smoothly for the planning this time around.
Dear Suzanne, thanks for your post and asking after me. Hope you and Cal are both ok. Thanks for all your lovely pics too. Hope the ospreys will all be able to reunite one day!
Also wanted to let you know that thought your hair colour was lovely !
Dear Neil, was thinking about you too yesterday and your mother for her birthday - sending you hugs and support.
Dear Nick, hope you and Tammy are both ok and that things are going smoothly with the moveā¦
Will try and post again soon - thinking of you all in the meantime and sending hugs to all xxx
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Hi Palou,
Lovely to see you! I am glad that you are still keeping up with posts. When it gets too much for me I always find comfort in that even if I canāt post anything. I know now that however bleak and overwhelming the heartache is it will eventually lift and there will be a period of relief when we can recover enough to get back on track and be able to get through the day in a more calm and ānormalā fashion (if we can ever feel normal again). I still canāt believe that mam isnāt here. I was telling my niece today that if only she could come back just to let me know she is ok or even content where she is and that I will see her again then I could weather the time I have left without her. But itās the not knowing for definite that there is a spiritual world beyond this that I find hard. I need proof. All she has to do is visit me for a second and Iāll know. When her mam died when I was young (about 10 / 11 I think) I was distraught for months afterwards and couldnāt sleep. She came to see me, dressed in white, hovering above my sisters bed when she was sleeping. She told me not to worry about her. That everything was ok. That I could stop now. And I did. I started sleeping and being a child again. But I canāt stop wanting my mam, or to be with her. I canāt accept she isnāt here. I canāt make sense of it. I still think sheās on holiday and will come back and Iāll have so much to show her. I would give everything for it not to be true.
Porsch is very unwell now. I thought she was getting better after giving her extra appetite medication but itās having no effect on her now and she is barely eating anything and not drinking like she did. I canāt force her. she will still eat treats so I ration them to keep her going. But she then refuses to eat the food. I canāt see her starve but canāt force her to eat. Sheās so very skinny now. Iām heartbroken trying to make her live when Iām sure itās just a matter of time now that she will leave me. So Iāll be sleeping on the floor again tonight. She doesnāt want me to pick her up, stroke her, cuddle her. She doesnāt purr when I talk to her. I think she must hate me for fighting her with the medication. She must want to die now because she is so very unhappy and uncomfortable. I wonder if trying to keep her going is cruel. Iāve dreaded this time and I think itās here now. I canāt bear to be without her. Sheās been my child for over 17 years. She still looks so young. Iām finding this so stressful but I donāt want to lose her. Will see how she is during the night. The thought of taking her to the vet for an injection and having to say goodbye is beyond cruel. But how cruel is it to not do that? Iām wrestling now with my conscience as to what I should do and how long I leave it. Or do I just feed her the treats she wants? Will see how she is tonight. Havenāt had much sleep recently. But she isnāt getting me up for food now. I wish she would go back to the screaming. It drove me mad but Iād rather that than this silence I have now.
Seeing my niece today was a window into a normal world again after being so isolated after mam. I felt better for spending time with her. But itās really intense again caring for Porsch. She reminds me of losing mam because I know she will leave me soon. I know that I canāt do any more than I am doing now. But after it is over I will be wondering why I didnāt do more. Itās like living in two worlds, the before and after.
Going to watch The Purge to zone out for a while. Will keep you posted. Iāll take new pics of Porsch tomorrow before she leaves to be with mam.
Take care Palou.
Lots of love xxx
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Hi Christine
Iām really sorry Porsche seems to be down again. That is one of the hardest things on your emotions isnāt it when you canāt be totally sure how they may be from one day to the next. I can understand how hard it must be to wonder if you are doing the right thing by willing her to keep going but of course itās human nature to want to keep hold of something you love so dearly and has been part of your life for such a long time. Just try and do what you do best which is working in little āchunksā of time. If it helps you to focus on something else for a bit, like that inept council and your interfering neighbours then do so because your brain will need a rest from fretting about Porsche in order for you to keep helping her as well as you are doing. Remember to help yourself too. I can well imagine how you are missing your Mam right now. Lifeās difficulties seem relentless donāt they and we are only human, we are bound to feel broken at some stage.At least your Niece will be able to spend some time with you. I agree wholeheartedly when you talk about having someone there making you feel a bit more human. Its easy to get lost in thoughts and fears when you feel so isolated.
Feeling lost myself right now with whatās going on with my Brother. His behaviour hasnāt really changed because heās always terse and verbally unkind so I canāt go off his outward behaviour as to how he may be feeling but I can imagine it must be a constant feeling of dread. Nothing could be found on the first test last week but the main one will be this week sometime and itās this Endoscopy that is the main one. In some ways itās a blessing Mum isnāt here to see all this happening.
Iām not exactly uplifting, positive and inspiring at the moment am I. I started this post around 1am and fell asleep and itās now around 7am so Iām hoping you managed to get some proper sleep and that Porsch had a good night too.
Other than all my doom and gloom I donāt really know anything else. Itās sunny here but think it has to rain all day later. Iāll have plenty to occupy myself with finding a new broadband deal though as ours runs out in a week. I just find all that kind of stuff a minefield and itās definitely not enjoyable task!
I think that free site I have had a few things from is separate to Freecycle but all the free networks intermingle as there is also āTrash Nothingā. Iāve used the āOlioā App now and again. Itās not always easy though as lots of people want/need bits of stuff and things tend to go quickly.
Have you got some plans to work on your garden today if Porsch is well enough for you to do stuff? Hope you have a good day and get to do something nice or productive if at all possible.
Iāll check on later and see how you and Porsch are feeling/doing.
Much love to you both.
xx
I
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Good morning all.
Palou, thanks for your kind words. The longing doesnāt end for our Mums does it, only changes. Plodding through the days, as you say really is the best description there is. Itās a comfort to know we can all identify with each other here. I know many people on the outside can and do sympathise but itās not the same as empathy. Keep going as best you can xx
Neil, good to hear you are ok considering
I know what you mean about you saying how much time can pass and you think itās just yesterday that you posted. Iām like that many a time. I log on and see sometimes it was 5days ago and Iām astounded. Itās nice to hear you are still finding some good prices on the tickets you buy to the shows at the Theatre. Itās hard to remember now that just a few years ago all those theatres stood empty during the pandemic.
I hope the new week starts well tomorrow for you.
Nick. I hope you are as settled as you can be with all the upheaval youāve been though over these Summer months. Hope kitty is well too.
Much love to all xx
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Hi Tina,
I got some sleep last night after getting up at about 3 I think, heating up food that Porsch wouldnāt eat. I 'd made a bed on the floor with cushions and found her taking over so I was back on the sofa next to her for the second half of the night. Relieved to find her awake and purring when I was making a fuss of her. She enjoyed my niece being round yesterday. She even sat on her knee in the garden which was a first. I think Porsch feels so poorly that she just wants to be loved now. Iāve ordered dry cat food for delivery tomorrow and will have to persevere with the treats on top of the food she loved before but wonāt even try now. All I can do is keep going as I am. I know I couldnāt do any better than what Iām doing. I wish mam was here to help me. On the verge of tears the whole time. Having my niece here was a reprieve. I kept joking about putting her to work in the garden, cleaning the patio and table that I didnāt get finished. Will rain later this afternoon so if I donāt get it done the rain will wash it all.
The garden is now on the back burner for getting anything done but Iāll see how she is. Creep is back so no doubt heāll be out with the garden tools all day making a racket. Got my email reply sent off to the council just now and will have to do a shop at some point for delivery. Not sure if Iāll get to therapy. I hope she picks up with the dry food. Hope itās as tasty as her treats. Iām glad the weather has cooled and isnāt red hot for her so she will be more comfortable.
Youāre doing so well being supportive to your bro at this time. I think his anger and abusive attitude hides a very frightened and grief stricken little boy inside. He will be dreading the appointment. I remember it as carrying a heavy weight around that I couldnāt shift no matter what I tried doing. Until he has done all the tests, got the results and then been through whatever treatment he needs he will always have this hanging over him. Worry and stress take their toll in all manner of ways - not eating, feeling sick, obsessively being focused on the issue, being in a fog or dreamlike state where there is a disassociation from normality, feeling like you arenāt present and going through the motions of doing whatever. It feels like grief but is a āliving griefā. Is your sister supporting him too? Better to share the burden so that you get some support too. I hope so. And is he able to work while this is ongoing? Having to focus on something else that is routine will give some escape from the intensity of worry. Iām glad too that your am isnāt having to cope with this. When I had cancer I could see the physical effect it had on both of my parents. And for most if my life afterwards my mam would be ringing to check on me throughout the day and worry if I didnāt pick up the phone straight away. She stopped suddenly after I told my sister (the one who stopped speaking to me) how claustrophobic it was and used to drive me mad. So I donāt know what she said. I can imagine my mam was very hurt. I wish I could go back and explain everything to her myself instead of not knowing conversations that I wasnāt part of impacting on our relationship. I know my sisters were jealous of the attention mam gave me, like I was a child. I miss being loved by her. I miss loving her, having her here to love.
Itās a shame you donāt have a project going on at the mo to distract you from what is happening. I always found inspiration in mams Homes and Gardens magazines, dreaming of living such a glamorous lifestyle and being motivated to create my own projects using recycled things. Lots of my cushions are created from clothes I no longer wear, using pillows to create the bulk interior. I didnāt have any colour in my house years ago, having a very āEnglishā themed decor of ivory, blue and grey. Mam would love what Iāve created now. I havenāt looked at Freecycle or any recycling sites for quite a while. I miss going to the carbooties on a Sunday, bringing it all in to show mam. She always found my loveliest things (very random - beautiful scarves, old serving platter, kitchen things) and they became gifts for her to cherish.
I was telling my niece how my whole life fell apart with mam leaving, that the family disintegrated without her, and she agreed. We would go over every weekend at the old house. There was firework displays, Edwardian night in the run up to xmas, iceskating and looking for trinkets for the xmas tree. Mam would not believe just how crucial she is in holding everything together. Itās like people were seen and their behaviour was noted. Without her here they can do (sister) and say (dad) whatever they please. I am still amazed at how things have turned out. Didnāt know I was āliving my best lifeā at the time. And so I live inside my own head dreaming of all the yesterdays I had with mam.
Getting upset again so I will go. Do you have any plans for a walk today? I really want to get out to the park and woods on my bike but need to get the chain done. Having a plan is the start to something actually happening. Hope the dry food will pick Porsch back up. And now that Iām checking that she doesnāt have her tablet stashed away in her gum to spit out later maybe she will get back on track. Iām sure eating again with the dry food will perk her up. All I can do is try different things. Sheās sleeping now and Iāve had a tidy up so will get dressed and see what the day brings. Having plans for the garden seems like a luxury now.
Take care Tina and just keep doing what you are doing. I hope your bro can see just how special you are. We all can!
Lots of love xxx
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Dear Palou,
I have not posted here for about 2 weeks now. I am still busy trying to squeeze many of my things into my brotherās house. My cat Tammy has not been well for over a week now. I gave her some medication against worms and she did not want to eat. But, it looks as if she is getting better now, fingers crossed.
I still have to move so many things to my brotherās house. All my clothes, all my Hi-Fi (12 speakers, a big TV and several amps. Another Hi-Fi with 5 speakers and another TV in my bedroom.)
I did not know that I had so much in my loft and garage. The second skip is also almost full now.
I am giving a cupboard, a dining table and 6 chairs to my neighbour Margaret. She insists on giving me some money for them. Well, we will see who will win.
All the living room furniture has to go to charity. (Not the rugs.) - I have a lot of shelves in the second bedroom that is being used as a computer room with a foldable bed and TV for visitors.
I have to clear a room at my brotherās house so I can use it as a proper bedroom, but there is so much in there that I have to clear out first. It looks impossible. A big desk, 8 computers, a big laser printer, one sideboard, a table, two chairs, two office chairs, 2 speakers and and a rack with some Hi-Fi. I will probably need another skip.
I also have to get rid of 4 cars at my brothers house. No idea what to do all with my brotherās speakers (B&O). (No room in the garage.) My brother had Hi-Fi in all his rooms, including the kitchen.
I have no Idea how to manage it all. I feel like giving up. - Sorry for writing all this but I felt I had to tell someone.
All the best Nick.
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Hello Nick!
So pleased to see you pop in amidst the turmoil of the move. It sounds completely overwhelming. One option would be to hire a self storage unit in the area to give you a longer period of time to manage decisions on what to keep (yours and your brothers) and finding new homes for the rest. If your bro already has the house set up with tvās, stereo etc you could move in there and manage your stuff in a less stressful way over time. I have been thinking about you and wondering how youāve been getting on, especially with the time restraints. If your neighbour is offering to buy the furniture accept her offer and use that to cover storage costs if you choose to do that. It can be expensive but you hire according to the unit size you need. Would need to arrange a man with a van and also transport for you to get there / back. You could have a free yard sale out front just to clear a lot of bits if your neighbours like a bargain. Is your friend / neighbour still around to help you? Asking for help from everyone you know is a great way of reaching out for emotional support as well as getting things done. Have you tried all the charities in your area (including hospice) to collect the furniture? Schools might take any tech stuff you can let go of. CEX is a store for refurb tech. Freecycle is an online thing where people would turn up and just take what you list in your add. Having someone else to take on that would free you up with doing other stuff. Delegating will get it all done eventually but that is a mammoth task for yourself. Whoever you can get to help, however small, would be worthwhile. They might know people who would help you too. House clearance is an option of taking everything you would leave behind in one big sweep. So you could combine the self storage unit for maybe keep and then everything else as clearance. I always find pairing it down to the bones as basic categories works best for me when Iām feeling overwhelmed, tackling the details later.
Not sure if you have had time to read posts but Porsch is really not doing well. She rapidly went downhill from Thursday and is barely eating now. In my desperation Iāve mixed her renal paste food with water to syringe into her mouth and it seems to be working. She was spitting her tablets out and I didnāt know. She too had her worming treatment and was unwell from then on. Iām going to keep up with the paste/syringe and have dry renal food on order for tomorrow. She still enjoys her treats so I hope the dry food will tempt her. She has been twitching and losing more weight. Iām so distressed about her leaving me. Iām torn between prolonging her life with however I can to her wanting to give up and letting her just slip away or a trip to the vets. I dreaded this time and it appears to be here. But Iām still trying.
Hope my ideas have helped. I know itās all much simpler not being involved but having someone who could do that with you in person, who has no emotional attachment to anything, could move things forward for you. As soon as the big items go, like the furniture, and getting all the tech together, should clear a pathway for you. I cannot begin to imagine combining two houses with a lifetime of stuff. And doing it on your own too. Wish we could all come to help you. Try to see what you have already achieved to balance what is ahead of you. I do that everyday. You could use coloured stickers to group things together. Wish I could help you.
Keep us posted, even if it is just to get more ideas on how to tackle it or for the emotional support. And Iām pleased that Tammy is on the mend. I know medication is to help in the long term but itās not surprising it has an impact after being given. Porsch always starts crying after her appetite booster.
Try breaking each thing down into bits of time. Amazing what can be achieved when you have a clear goal and time limit.
Lots of love xxx
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Hi All,
Porsch made it through another night now she is on the liquid paste and putting weight on again. So some relief. But she is so bony that she canāt get comfortable, how ever many cushions she has to lie on. I see her now as an old lady for the first time. Hope her dry food will be something enjoys eating as itās not pleasant for either of us to have to force feed her.
So exhausted but I have a shop later on with a dark chocolate treat. Good for preventing cancer. Hope you are all doing ok and bobbing along. Very wet here. Raining on and off. Made a start on getting my bulbs out of pots yesterday and I have a batch of old compost ready for when my lawn seed is delivered. Bird feeding is back on the patio as itās better for cleaning. Hope I can get the grouting finished this summer and it will be a huge job accomplished. Meant to be nice this week so fingers crossed. Will take pics when I can.
Lots of love xxx
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Hi Christine
I am pleased Porsch is well enough to eat and had a good night. I myself was worried for her from how you was speaking in your earlier posts.
Went a bit mad yesterday and ended up walking to Asda in the morning and then because he was out with Zoe and his 2 kids I decided to have a walk to Tesco as they had some offers on. So all in all I walked 5 miles yesterday. Most days if someone said I could have a Ā£1000 for walking to the end of our road I wouldnāt know where to find the energy so I decided to take advantage of the enthusiasm and motivation. I donāt think though I could ever walk just for the sake of walking Iād have to have an A to B plan. Iād have to have a purpose to be out for I think.
I went to pick up some free craft items from a lady today that said she lived 8 miles away but was in my home town for a few days at her daughterās and sheād bring
them with her. I was flabbergasted when she told me she was at a house next door to my Sister. Small world. Eerie though is that her Mum had also had Alzheimerās and her dad had a similar condition to the one my Brother may have. Life can be so strange. The DVDs that she gave me came from her parents home and it just made me sad how peopleās cherished items become an emcumbrance that they wait to get rid of
Not really so much happening today. It was fairly mild earlier on but quite chilly now. Zoe is too knackered to misbehave today after her long walk yesterday so I canāt say Iāve been run ragged with her!
Enjoy the chocolate treat you are getting from the online shop. You have definitely earned it.
Iāll pop back later all being well.
Much love. xx
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Hi Tina,
Well done you with your walking. You should get one of those watches which counts the steps. I got one months ago and couldnāt download the app so gave it to my niece when she was here. Sheāll use it more than I ever would. When I see people walking in parks, meandering for the sake of it, I wonder what Iām missing out on. Like you I would need a plan. But I do enjoy being in the woods. Still on my to do list.
I also think itās sad when children are getting rid of their parents precious things. We form attachments to things for all sorts of reasons. Itās what they represent that is more important than the thing itself. The thought of picking through charity shops now makes me sad. I was always excited when I found a bargain without ever wondering what life it had before. My whole perspective has changed since mam.
Like you say it is a āsmall worldā where we find reflections everywhere. I believe our lives are mapped out and we can take different routes, or branches, but our main path is set. I suppose as we age we find others experiencing the same sadness.
Glad Zoe was too tired out for more mischief. She must love getting out on her walks. Porsch loves her new dry food, thank goodness, so sheās had a good bite today and should sleep better. Iām so exhausted with being on the go all the time. I managed to cut and stitch my mams beautiful curtains today and hang them at the doors for winter drafts. Really closes the hallway in so I might create a 4 poster bed effect instead.
Meant to be turning hot again (27) so I hope to get my patio grouted. Wonāt be going to therapy tomorrow as he has covid. Porsch will be pleased that Iām not going out.
Take care and take time for you. Resting will allow you to bank some much needed energy for the days ahead. Has bro opened up to you yet? If he wants to he will. Probably putting on a brave face as so many blokes do. Just be there when he needs you. Iām sure he appreciates you being there for him.
Lots of love xxx
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Hi Christine
Too true about the Charity shop sentiments, totally agree.
Just thought Iād drop by to check in on Porsch so Iām glad sheās eating. Like you say sheāll probably be glad you arenāt going out to your appt!
Brother got a phone call at Teatime yesterday to say his endoscopy is booked for Friday at Mums hospital so it will be the first time back. The appt before that was also at a hospital that Mum had stayed in but it wasnāt the last. This will be much harder as it was her last one, on top of the reasons why we are going of course. I donāt know if I have said all this before, my memory is away with the Pixies half the time these days.
As you enjoy car boots do you not feel youād be strong enough to try one again sometime? Theyād be easy to escape from if you got overwhelmed and I know you can got totally absorbed in mooching round those.
Just trying to deal with a barky Zoe and a kitchen full of damp washing right now. It was sunny this morning and I did a load but the Sun was all but a tease as itās raining now!
Zoe has got her 2nd wind back for naughtiness! I wouldnāt like her to escape from the house when the Amazon van is round as sheād eat him for breakfast (and Dinner and Tea too as the van is round 3 times a day here!!) She can tell the sound of their vans from the bottom of the road and goes absolutely insane with the anticipation of getting to the driver!
Yesterday I caught her calmly walking upstairs with a fair sized piece of glass between her jaws. Thereās no glass in the garden but sheād been digging and brough it up from the soil. She crunches things up and spits them out. Last night I was washing up with the kitchen door open and I looked into the garden after Iād let her out for a wee and sheād vanished. It was pitch black and I went into the lounge to tell him that Zoe was missing and she was sat on the settee in front of the TV and log fire with a smug face on. For a clumsy dog she can move like a shadow at times. Well thatās enough dog chit chat!
Hope the grouting gets done. Isnāt it awful when something depends on the weather like that does.
Iāve seen a lot of things on Pinterest that Iād like to do but thereās so many brilliant ideas on there that itās easy to get āinspiration overloadā and not be able to make a choice at all !!
Anyway Iāll wish you a good day outdoors and Iāll pop by later.
Much love xx
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Donāt know whether Iāve shared this before Christine but itās a lacecap hydrangea where the flowers are flat and not in a fluff ball. Itās still in the pot and is a fair few years old now so Iām surprised its done anything this year!
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Hi @christine51,
Just catching up with the posts and was relieved to read that Porscha had been eating again and purring. Even if itās brief it must be a weight off your shoulders. Also nice to hear your niece come across and visited you. Has she agrees to go swimming with you again? x
Covid certainly seems to be on the rise again as one of my colleagues thinks he has it again so told him to stay away from folk and stay in his groom room lol x
Itās so warm up here again lately that itās been very uncomfortable in work as yet again the aircon is broken 
x
All the ospreys have flown off now from the Loch but one did appear out of nowhere and it would appear to be one of the chicks from 2-3 years ago but donāt know how long heāll stay about.
Got the car MOT on Friday and not looking forward to that lol x
Funny I was reading what you and Tina were saying about keeping mementos and I have been thinking I need to downsize some things as just have too much stuff and itās making clutter which at this moment is stressing me out but give it a couple of days and Iāll have forgotten about itā¦one benefit of ADHD 
x
My rose bush seems to have had a new lease of life
Cal says hi to you and Porschaā¦complete with food in his eyes for some reason
@NEILB72 how you doing this week? Hope you are keeping well. What have you been up to? I went to go in to Perth Theatre today to go get some leaflets but only in Perth would they have a theatre that closes at 4pm! I know some close to prepare for the evening performance but donāt understand why they would literally bolt the door closed. Is your friend still phoning you on a Wednesday evening?
Take care of yourself and much love 
x
@Tina19 two things you have posted have kinda blown my mindā¦.your brother has two kids??? I thought he only had one but learn something new all the time lol and the thought of Zoe walking about with glass in her mouthā¦I can only imagine how you felt when you saw that 
x
@Nick22 nice to hear from you and sorry to hear that there seems so much to do to move into your brothers place but I gotta askā¦how many speakers do you need lol x do you listen to music a lot or is it like surround sound for movies? if did music that sounds amazing lol x
Hopefully youāll get the 4 cars sold as well (if thatās what you want of course). Always a pleasure to read your posts x
@Palou how are you doing this week? If youāre not sure then thatās fine and if a little better then awesome 
x With the nights beginning to draw in again I think itās making things a little harder than it was in sunnier days but maybe just me. We can never (obviously) take the place of your mum but if you want to ask for help/advice then hopefully someone here could maybe help you and if you ever want to discuss what you miss most just now then would love to hear it. Just remember and celebrate the small wins x
Love to you all xx
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Hi Suzanne
I havent been too bad thanks. I braved it and went to see Barbie at my local cinema- and glad I did! Nothing like you would imagine. Very clever satire with lots of pop culture references and is a film for men just as it is for women. Kids seeing it wouldnāt understand a lot of the comedy.
Next show at the moment is Grease at the beginning of September.
Had a shock the other day as I read my local theatre is threatened by closure but turns out it was misinformation- wouldnt surprise me though!
Football season started again , even though I havent actually been to a game for about 4 years- lost interest in going when looking after Mum and theatre takes preference now.
Been reading all the posts but still seem to miss some as the days fly past!
Sending love and best wishes
Neil x
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