Thank you Neil 
1 Like
Love the horses x
1 Like
Somerset drizzle is the best. Looks like light rain but soaks you to the bone!
Awww lovely pictures
Xx
1 Like
Hi Suzanne.
This photo is absolutely stunning. (The tree one). You can kind of imagine seeing it in one of those glossy homes and gardens magazines as a massive print against a white wall! Not that they arenāt all great of course.
Iām in awe of you for being up there and doing stuff on your own.
xx
1 Like
Hi Nic,
I eventually got out in the garden and got quite a bit done after a slow start. Built more of my woven branch wall and sorted an area with an arch. Will post pics when Iāve done a bit more. Got all the pots and planters watered so that was my main task. Just got finished when the creep arrived back. Still missing mam and just want to talk to her, to tell her that I miss her desperately. Still no word from dad. Roses delivered so just stuck them in water. Didnāt start clearing the shed yet but wonāt take long. Just got no umph to really get going. Felt better cutting back the climbers.
Having an early night.
Much love xxx
1 Like
Hi Christine
Just thought Iād see what was doing here before bed and saw youād been having a down day. Youāve done loads recently maybe youāve just run out of steam. It could also be the busyness of gardening has distracted you as and taken the edge of and then when the distractions stop the sadness takes centre stage. Its much colder now for the moment isnāt it. That in itself is enough to make anyone miserable.
I have managed to empty two sheds today, but the garden is currently in a state till the bin men come and the scrap metal people come. My brother has now got a nice workshop out of all the effort and Iāve got a sore back!
Iāve got visions of Porschaās kitty litter flying everywhere! Iāve had many cats, some indoor ones, and theyād always manage to use the tray an inch over the edge - not pretty.
Hope you manage to get some more gardening done before him nextdoor is off work at the weekend. Itās not a good situation for you that is it.
Sorry to hear your relationship with your Dad is still shaky. So true that Mums are what holds families together isnāt it. Itās so incredibly difficult.
Better day tomorrow hopefully.
Love xx
1 Like
Hi Suzanne,
Iām thrilled that youāre having a fab time and youāre right about your mam being with you all the time. Sheād be so proud of you. We all are. I love that you have the courage to do it. And feeling peaceful must be such a beautiful thing after the turmoil youāve been through. Love the pics! Excited to see what youāre doing tomorrow.
After a slow start I managed to get out in the garden and felt better for it.
Tons of love xxx
1 Like
Hi Tina,
I think youāre right with the gardening being a distraction. I am exhausted too so having run out of energy my thoughts have tumbled down and all I can think about is mam. I miss her so very much. I did get back out into the garden after a very slow start and got lots done again. But it doesnāt make a difference to how Iām feeling. Itās overwhelming today.
Very well done clearing the sheds. I always have a sense of achievement when I do physical work. I havenāt started emptying the shed but when I do Iām hoping it will all fit in the big storage things I got. It will really open out the garden when I take the shed down. Iāll fill the fence with climbing roses because Iāll be able to see right up the garden.
There were lots of bees out today and every time I saw one I thought of you! It made me smile.
Dad hasnāt phoned and I had the other roses delivered today so will have to take his over at some point. Itās such an awkward situation. I feel guilty that Iām not perfect but also annoyed because of how he behaves. I canāt win either way. Mam would have stopped the situation escalating. She had so much to have to deal with. Itās just not fair on her.
Chat tomorrow. Much love xxx
1 Like
Hi Neil,
Me too. They remind me of the ornaments my grandma had. Beautiful.
I got out in the garden again and felt better for doing some work, cutting back climbers, putting up another arch, weaving more of my branch wall, watering all the pots and hanging baskets. Iām pleased that my rhubarb has started growing.
Hope your day was not too bad. i was just streaming tears this morning They wouldnāt stop. Itās funny how I can pick myself up after that and just carry on like Iād never been upset.
Lots of love xxx
2 Likes
Hi Neil,
Thank you for your lovely comment 
How are you doing today? x I left Somerset this morning with the sun coming out but a chill in the air and landed in Scotland with snow on the runway and ice warnings lol x
Sorry if Iāve missed this but do you have any movies or shows planned for this weekend?
Iām still planning on going to see Morbius at some point over the weekend but not sure what night x
Hope youāre doing ok and keep in touch xx
1 Like
Hi Christine:)
Back home today unfortunately as could have spent another couple of days down there but I never want to leave Glastonbury and always look in the real estate windows when Iām down and even the rental prices are crazyā¦maybe if I win the lottery one day lol x
Thatās just so silly that your dad still hasnāt been in touch and donāt mean to speak out of turn but really quite childish imo. Least the roses have to soak so that should give you a wee bit breathing space before you have to contact him x
You sound like you have achieved so much in the garden lately so no wonder you are exhausted physically and mentally and to have to constantly wonder where Creep is and his comings and goingās I just couldnāt handle that at allā¦just so tiring for you 
x
Porscha and the cat litter tray and sickā¦.so relatable so cats really donāt give a f**kā¦do they 
x hope she is ok though and just being a diva lol x
Like Tina said most of my cats have always āmissesā their trays and splattered down the back of the trayā¦gross lol x
Hope tonight finds you a bit more peace and chat soon xx
Hope youāre all as ok as we can be today. Thinking of you all. Nic xxx
1 Like
Hi Tina
If you fancy a trip to Scotland I also have a shed that needs emptied and dismantled lol x go you emptying two sheds 
I hope your brother appreciates the work you have done to give him his wee man cave shed x
Was pleased to read that Wickes have finally delivered the final fence panelā¦I really hope you have put in a strong complaint in cause that was ridiculous treating you like that x
Is your week any better just now? x I still think we are all exhausted from distracting ourselves from Motherās Dayā¦now easter is coming I hope we can all get distracted by chocolate and the lighter nights may make a lot of difference 
x
Thank you for the positivity about the photosā¦I would just wander and take photos all day if I could lol x
Canāt wait to hear about where youāll get next with the garden and keep us updated as to how Zoe (and yourself of course lol) is doing 
Hi Nic,
What kind of day are you having today?
Thought of you when I drove past the Old Tannery this morningā¦didnāt make it in this visit but defo will go back when I head down again.
I was only down there in November and so much has changed in that short space of timeā¦a Costa drive-thru being built, a Papa Johnās in the main Square, all the new road layout at the Torā¦I was like wow!! Lol x
Have you managed to sit on your bench lately since the weather has changed?
How are your girls doing? have they been mentioning mor mor (sorry if spelling wrong) lately?
Hope your day/night hasnāt been too bad on you and weāre all here for you and each other xx
Hi Suzanne,
Itās been so long since I went into Glastonbury town. Maybe Iāll go up one day. My eldest would love it. Papa Johns is a bit mainstream for the town centre?!
I didnāt manage to sit out last night as it was raining but might sit out there for a bit later on. Will take a hot water bottle out with me.
I have been struggling a bit this week. Stuff with my ex wanting to sell house. My youngest nursery is closing down and it was her last day today and theyāve been amazing to all of us which has made me quite sad today. Donāt know. Feeling quite hopeless. The one person Iād talk to about everything was mum but I canāt do that. Feel like Iām alone in the world with the girls. Itās a horrible feeling and missing mum a lot. Sorry to be on a downer.
Iām glad you enjoyed your trip. It really is a lovely place. Hopefully it wonāt be too long before you go back there.
Nic xx
1 Like
Hi Nic,
Thatās what I thought about the Papa Johnās lol x
Yeah that rain last night was fierce but if you go out tonight make yourself a nice hot chocolate and sit there with your hot water bottle and wait for the wee bat 
x
Oh I did read about your ex and the houseā¦has there been any more mention of this from him? Or do you think heās just making idle threats for whatever reason? surely he couldnāt be that insensitive after your loss.
If you could have a conversation with your mum now about itā¦what do you think sheād say to you about the situation?
I think I read you had to cancel your initial CAB appointmentā¦have you managed to speak to them?
Thatās such a shame about the nursery closing downā¦will your daughter be able to go to a new one near you and will she still be with all her friends? Luckily children can be more resilient than us adults and make friends so much more easily
You are not putting anyone on a downer so please donāt think you are xx
Hi Suzanne
So glad you had a lovely time and enjoyed looking at the pics. Glad you had a safe journey back. The weather has certainly got colder although still sunny here. We did have some hail stones this morning though.
Havenāt been that great today. Finishing clearing the garage and some more of Dadās stuff that Iād held in to. He would understand that I need to cut a few costs at the moment and give the garage up.
Mum said to me over the years that she wanted me to have her jewellery and to get it valued. Itās not something I really want to do but I took it in a jewellerās this morning and they valued some bits and gave me an idea of what it was worth. Actually the two main pieces were my Nanās that had been passed to Mum. Iām going to shop around first though as there is no rush and I might not even part with any of it yet . That upset me doing that this morning.
Just had a chat with Samaritans which helped my mood somewhat.
I have nothing booked for a couple of weeks ( as it stands at the moment). Iāve got a mental health assessment on Wed - just a check up to see if anything has changed since last time .
Donāt think there is anything else to mention
Love and best wishes
Neil x
1 Like
Hi Suzanne,
Itās such a shame that you had such a short trip but good to know youāre back home safe and soundā¦ How long did that drive take you? Canāt believe you did it in one go! Itās about 5 hours to Newcastle from London to visit my sister (years ago). I do miss the excitement of travelling and visiting up north.
Itās been snowing here today so I had to rescue my seed trays and pop them all on the windows sills (so in the way!). Just come in from the garden again. Lots of cutting back and pulling out more old branches and creating another woven branch haven at the top pond. Will be great for climbers in the summer.
Didnāt realise the creep was back. I always check whether his van is there when I come in for the loo. He is so silent. I heard comments about how Iām not as agile as I used to be (Iām 51 and had just scoffed a sandwich, big bag of crisps and 2 chocolate bars before I went out there). I now realise that would have been him watching me and commenting. So Iām just waiting for my water to heat up for a hot bath with my incense and candles.
Dad still hasnāt rang and is obviously playing the victim. Iām sure he really believes I was critical of him (his perception, not the truth). So I donāt know whether heās received his broadband box. He wonāt be able to set it up. My sister is his carer so I donāt know why she didnāt deal with this and whether he resents her doing stuff he canāt. It will be a week on Sat.
Porsha is indeed a diva and has the cheek to tell me sheād used her tray and then watch me clean it up. She makes such a mess! But I love her dearly. Just glad I donāt have to poo in a tray!
Itās so strange to be so pleased youāre back home and we havenāt even met!
Tons of love xxx
1 Like
Hi Nic,
Iām not surprised at all that youāre finding it hard with the nursery closing after they were so supportive to you. Suzanne is right about children being more resilient that us. They take things as they come and we worry about everything around it. Do you have another placement lined up? It could be a positive if you have new faces at the school gates. Makes me remember how mam always went to all of our plays and school doās and ballet and gymnastics etc and then the grand children too. I took it all for granted. I wish Iād been less wrapped up in myself to tell her how I appreciate the loving person she was. It seems to be a recurring theme with having not expressed how I feel now because she is not here. I want to tell mam about the garden and I know itās silly but all the old branches making up the climbing structures were created when mam was here and (years ago) I feel so upset taking them down (to be replaced with arches and obelisks). It seems if Iām busy it takes my mind off being upset because Iām concentrating on that thing Iām doing. It still doesnāt feel real that she isnāt here. I think Mothers Day really had a massive impact and Iām struggling moving on from that.
When youāre sitting on your bench talk to your mam about the school and the house and just how sad you feel because sheās not here. You have the luxury of having a field to look out onto and your little bat to keep you company. I know it wonāt take the sadness away but to express it out loud might help in some way. I feel completely isolated from my family. Dad hasnāt called and my sisters ignore me. So I am absolutely alone without mam to include me. I wish Iād known time was running out. I could have said all the things that haunt me now.
Canāt believe it snowed here today. It was so sunny and warm last week. Glad I didnāt put my winter stuff away and get my summer stuff out the loft. I was just saying about having to rescue my seed trays. Itās such a faff having them on window sills above radiators but it was such a lot of work doing them to just not bother. Thought about getting a greenhouse but donāt really have the space as the garden is already mature and planted up. Iāll see when I get the shed down.
Lots of love xxx
1 Like