Hope everyone is ok this evening.
Sending love,
Nic xxx
1 Like
Hi Suzanne
Havenāt had that bad a day until I got the birthday cards from Mum and welled up reading the words. Also accidentally knocked Mumās ashes on the floor- they are still in a box ready to be placed with Dad
Hope you are OK
Love and best wishes
Neil x
2 Likes
Hi Nic
Feeling a bit emotional thinking about my birthday tomorrow without Mum .
Looking forward to opening the present from my best mate. Very intrigued what it is.
Might be getting another friend popping in during the afternoon .
Hope you are OK
Love and best wishes
Neil x
2 Likes
Hi Martin,
I completely understand that.
Imagine how much sheāll be wishing you a big happy birthday. Which she will be. Sheāll be with you. And so will we. I had to sort through one of my cupboards today looking for something. I keep all our cards from birthdays and special Christmas ones. I couldnāt look at any of them in case I saw one from mum. I did buy her some daffodils today though to go next to her picture (that I can still barely look at)
Ooooh youāll have to let us know whatās in the present. One good thing about having nosey kids is they might rip off a bit of paper and Iām like well we might as well open it now! I could tape over it but Iām far too impatient for that.
Today hasnāt been the best for me. I went shopping. Got asked for ID. Iām 41 and have been crying for the last 7 weeks. I could of put my shopping in my eye bags. I lost it and walked out and left a whole food shop on the conveyer belt. Got in the car and had a panic attack. Then my childrenās dad came over and told me heās filed for divorce. If it doesnāt rain it pours. Sorry to moan. Been a hard day.
Have you got any plans for tomorrow?
Love to you,
Nic x
3 Likes
Hi Neil,
I know itās going to be an odd day today but wishing you a very happy birthday 
x
Enjoy your pressies and your time with your friends today. Eat cake and do anything that takes your fancy.
And we all want to know what your pressie is 
Birthday blessings 
x
1 Like
Morning Nic,
How are you this morning?
I was reading your message to Neil and that was a tough old day for you yesterday 
x
Can I ask why being asked for ID was such a trigger for you do you think? are you doing ok after your panic attack?
I hope this doesnāt mean you have to go shopping again x
And your exās timing is just spot on to ask you that,pretty sure he could have waited until youāre feeling stronger to deal with. Even if you knew it was a possibility his timing sucks and in my opinion is a bit of a dick move. Sorry to pass judgment like that on a man I know nothing about but I just donāt think itās right especially as you need support just now x. I am sorry you are going through all this as well as missing your mum š„² x
I actually had a bat fly in front of my car last night so thought of you and thought it may mean warmer weather is on itās way so you may see yours soon x
Did you sleep well or even a little last night? Iām off today so not sure what Iām going to do so will let you know x
Until then thinking of you and Iām here if you need me x
x
Neil,
Happy Birthday!
I hope today is not too difficult and you manage to enjoy some of it.
Love,
Nic x
1 Like
Hi Suzanne,
I donāt know why I reacted like that in the shop. Took a lot of effort to go in the first place. I really donāt know why I lost it. The ex came over just after we got back and took me to another shop before he dropped his bombshell.
The timing really isnāt great no. Iāve woken up this morning and this feeling of panic is consuming me.
The sun is shining here today. I didnāt sit out last night as it was raining.
I hope today is good to you.
Love l,
Nic xx
1 Like
Hi Neil,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY XXX
2 Likes
Hello Neil.
So hope you are having a peaceful and pleasant day in your birthday. I have this picture of you sat in a lovely beer garden with your mate in the sun raising a toast or two to your Mum - but Iām rarely right!
Anyway, lots of kindness to you. x
2 Likes
Hello Suzanne
Hope you are ok.
Zoe really poorly so maybe vet got the womenās problems wrong or something I donāt know but Iām sure we will have to go back before Monday.
Brothers given me the ātaskā getting some men around for quotes to bring down our brick sheds but donāt you just hate having to deal with tradesmen. Most are chancers and the rest donāt get back to you. The best donāt even reply as they are already busy with others and donāt need to chase for work.
Just thinking about silly stuff like going to supermarket and getting loads and loads of bargain yellow sticker stuff and then showing mum when I got back. Iām sure half the time she humoured me but Iāve no one to show now. Just random things isnāt it. Keep us updated with the support work idea. Itās obviously something that suits your understanding nature. Have a lovely weekend. xx
1 Like
Hi NicNic
Really sorry about the supermarket incident. Sadly, some supermarket staff are just conditioned clones these days and are great at their job but as soon as something goes āoff scriptā and they have to think on their feet theyād be dumbfounded. Sorry also about your ex-husband. Hope things have improved. Maybe he regrets his thoughtless behaviour since heās had time to reflect - youād hope so wouldnāt you. xx
1 Like
Hi Tina,
Iāve no idea why I had a wobble in there. Iāve worked in food retail for 20 years and have been the till person before. Iāve not been asked in so long as I definitely look older than 18! Especially at the moment! Plus I had my toddler and a rather mature weekly food shop on the conveyer belt. Questioned her common sense a bit I suppose and just lost it. I wasnāt rude. I wouldnāt be rude. I left my purse at home and only had my bank card on me. Like I said itās a long time since I was asked! I just said donāt worry Iāll leave it and ran out. Not sure Iāll be able to go back in there again now. So embarrassing.
He would never see himself as thoughtless unfortunately. He wouldnāt care enough to consider my feelings at the moment
I hope youāre doing ok?
Nic xxx
2 Likes
Hi Tina x
Iām sorry to hear Zoe isnāt well and hope the vet gets to the bottom of it soon so she can feel better quickly.
Oh your brother knew what he was doing when he gave you that challenge 
x I hate dealing with trades men especially as mum and I got shafted last year by some. The ombudsman said we werenāt scammed but I beg to differ. Donāt know if you have something like ārated peopleā down there where you put in basically an add for whatever job you want done and say what price range youāre willing to pay and then local tradesmen phone you up and come give you a quote etc x Iāve used it a few times and as you can see genuine customer feedback, photos etc you tend not to be shafted as they donāt want negative feedback. Maybe something like that would be of use to you 
x
You sound like my friend as he loves nothing better than grabbing yellow ticket products and often tells anyone that will listen about his bargainsā¦do you find you get genuine bargains by buying those? I have always avoided them tbh as think I wouldnāt be able to use them in time.
Are you feeling any lighter today? x my mumās friend is heading to Blackpool tomorrow for a weeks holiday and says itās meant to rain all week so sheās booked tickets for a few shows. Sheās not kidding meā¦I know sheāll never leave the pub lol x
Working tomorrow so will just chill tonight. What you going to watch or do?
Look forward to hearing from you when you want to, thinking of you x
1 Like
Hi Nic,
How you doing this afternoon? Has that feeling of panic alleviated or disappeared that you woke up with? Did you sleep at all?
I wouldnāt worry about not feeling like you couldnāt return to the supermarket as having worked in retail you know that cashiers either probably didnāt notice or might be concerned and would like to know youāre ok x
You sound like you were overwhelmed and overloaded so please be easy on yourself x I look in the mirror and donāt recognise myself anymore that Iāve aged so much in the last 4 months.
What are you and the girls up to today? x is the weather ok down there just now?
I had hoped that your ex would realise his timing was 
and that he should be supporting you during this time even if it was for the sake of the girls but I saw you saying to Tina (I think) that he doesnāt appear to have that thought process x
Hope you are managing to do something this weekend that brings you some peace x
Chat soon xx
Hi Suzanne,
Iāll go back most likely. Wearing a disguiseā¦.
I did sleep ok last night. I am tired. My little one woke me up a few times removing her nappyā¦. Not cool.
She is staying with her dad tonight so just me and my eldest here. Weāll have a takeaway or something and Iāll paint her nails and that.
He came over earlier with his son (my step son) and it was nice to see him. We went to the park for a bit and had a bit of a game of football. It was nice. Iām hoping heāll bring him back tomorrow but heās being all distant at the moment. Despite everything weād always remained close and when I called him that night with mum he dropped everything and was here in a shot. Just didnāt maintain the support. Heās never lost anyone before. Lucky him!
The weather has been nice today. We all replanted the strawberry plants in the garden earlier too. Howās it been up there?
What are you planning on watching tonight? Iām on series 3 of the split now. Itās quite good. Maybe not appropriate for me right now but itās an insight into divorce I guess. I wish I could see into the future to see if things will somehow be ok. Iām sure we all do.
Hope you have a nice chilled evening.
Lots of love,
Nic xx
1 Like
Hello everyone
Thank you all for the very kind Birthday wishes.
Had an up and down day with that nuisance Universal Credit appointment this morning. Got that done and had a couple of friends come round . Then had another surprise visit from another good friend.
Just had my best mate phone me . The present was a lovely watch and a limited edition West Ham shirt.
Had a lovely big piece of Galaxy chocolate Birthday cake. Mmmmm.
Didnāt get the Grand National winner but got 4th and 5th which is better than what I normally do in recent years.
I felt Mum and Dad watching over me today and they would be happy to see so much kindness shown from good friends.
Thank you all again for your lovely words and warm wishes.You truly are very special people.
Love to you all
Neil x
3 Likes
Hi Neil,
Glad you had a lovely birthday and that your friends made it so special for you x
Have a good night and know that your mum and dad are both with you xx
1 Like
Hi Nicnic
Hope I havenāt offended you with saying that about retail workers if thatās your work too - but I know youāll know what I mean! Talk about looking old I use the Asda self service till when Iām feeling anti-social (which is often!) and I caught sight of myself in the mirror and old and haggard are the NICER words I can use, but thatās what can we expect as a result of what we are going through. Feel a bit ānot with things at the momentā kind of like Mum is still at the hospital and itās all just temporary. Bit too cold tonight for the bats. Iām petrified of them. Itās the fluttering sound that does it. Keep going xx
1 Like
Hi Neil
Iām really pleased you had such a special day. xx
2 Likes