Crippling morning anxiety

Hi All,
I wondered if anyone could help how to cope with crippling morning anxiety?
Since my partner passed I wake up shaking and scared.
Thank you

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I have started morning meditation for grief and bereavement - I chose a 5 min one to start with on my mobile - there’s a lot there.
It’s has begun to help a little and prepares me for the day :kissing_heart:

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@JudeK1 thank you

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Morning Alysonandsteve,
I get the morning anxiety and it’s the most awful feeling as I think that I am almost waiting for it to happen to then try and move on with the day. I splash very cold water over my face, rub aromartherapy on my hands, put a relaxing cd on and sit in bed and do the deep breathing and eventually it starts to subside, A cup of tea drank slowly can help and kind thoughts to you self of what you are grateful for, even the smallest thing.
For me the fear of it happening is the worst part. I know that this topic has come up before on here and there were lots of good suggestions. I think we just try to ride the waves so to speak the best we can until the feelings subside.
Not sure if this is any help but you are not on your own with these feelings especially on waking.
Love Jenny x

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@AlysonandSteve . I read your post earlier and wanted to think before i replied. I totally understand the morning anxiety. For me its the waking up and realising my husband is not here. He always brought me a cup of tea in bed and although a small thing. I miss it so much. I try to have a routine make a coffee, make the bed , shower, take the dog out. I am on setraline which helps with those horrible physical symptoms of anxiety. I still get them but not so bad. I dont think people realise how ill you can feel with grief. I then make a list of things to do and have a rest reading or watching tv for a bit. Most days i try to see a friend or family. Sorry its not more constructive but im 10 weeks into this horrible grief and mornings remain difficult. Take each hour at a time. Sending love.

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Thank you so much
Mornings are just awful for me.
It’s the time when I wish I could just curl up and go be with Steve xx

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@AlysonandSteve . Just got back from walking my fog and was thinking about you. I also have tried a breathing exercise, when im out with Indie my dog, i take deap breaths in and in my head say in with love and on the out breath i say out with grief. I visualise it in my mind. Also my husband used to walk the dog in the mornings so i am always on the edge of tears or often crying. I am trying hard to think of lovely thoughts of us together rather than be so distaught. Trying to train those neural pathways to think positive thoughts. Its a work in progress!

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@Freefaller thank you so much for taking the time to write back to me.
I will try that when I feel the panic attacks starting.
Much love :heart::heart::heart:

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Me too. Just want it to stop

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I think it’s the realisation that this is forever that causes the anxiety. Sometimes it’s on & off all day, other times it’s intermittent & more bearable. You love deep, it hurts deep. That’s my view :+1:t3:

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It’s that waking up to no soulmate beside you , the hit to the heart and Groundhog Day again . 4 months for me I am back in work as financially wouldn’t cope as I took time off before mart died to care for him . Now my biggest anxiety is driving home from work , getting our dog from my parents and arriving home to him not there . I shake putting key in the door and always shout hi babe im home , you ok ? I know it’s crazy but I don’t know what else to do , plus I always cry when I get home from work !! Take care all xx

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It has been 8 days since i lost the love of my life he was an active 72 yr old but died in hospital after complications of his heart bypass surgery we were married 49yrs he fought for 54 days but passed suddenly the morning of 30th May i had spoken to him the evening before and we were planning his homecoming , iwas able to tell him i loved him as he did me , but they phoned to tell me he had passed suddenly the next morning i went into complete shock and was shaking uncontrollably i think i have cried an oceanand am physically exhausted withthe griefthe heartache and pain is unbearable and i am only just starting this nightmare journey i have some calm moments when my body can heal a bit then it begins again scared frightened of what the future holds lonely
without him it’s the memories that are slowly killing me inside i can’t believe i will not see him in this world again my rock and my soul mate i appreciate you all for letting me offload and i understand
and sympathise with each and every one of you anxiety is all consuming and crippling and all we can do is try to breathe through it which is easier said than done may we all find some peace and serenity someday god bless and love to you all xx

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I hope this poem helps anyone ……

I held a party the other week and grief came.
She wasn’t invited but she came anyway - barged her way in through the door and settled down like she was here to stay.

And then she introduced me to the friends she’d brought with her - Anger. Fear. Frustration. Guilt. Hopelessness.

And they sang in the loudest voices, took up space in every corner of the room and spoke over anyone else that tried to talk.

They made it messy and loud and uncomfortable.

But finally, they left.

And long afterwards, when I was all alone,
I realised there was still someone here.
Quietly clearing up after the rest.

I asked who she was and she told me, “Love.”

And I assumed that’s why she looked familiar - because I had met her before.

“Or perhaps,” she said, “it’s because I’ve been here the whole time.”

And I was confused then because I hadn’t seen her all evening.
But when I looked more closely,
when I looked into her eyes,

I realised quietly that she had been here.
All the time.

She’d just been dressed as grief.


Becky Hemsley 2023

Sometimes it helps to remember that underneath our grief, there is love. It was there before, it’s there now and it will still be there afterwards.
Love endures like nothing else can.

‘Afterparty’ is from the book When I Am Gone

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@JudeK1
That is so lovely.
I wish I could grief for my partner without the anxiety and fear x

Thankyou judek1 that is a beautiful expressive poem and i loved reading it puts our feelings into perspective sad but true sending love xx

Hello I too suffer from anxiety when I wake up and it’s been particularly bad this week after having company for the last 2 weeks.and now back on my own. I try and sit with it untill it passes and tell myself I’m safe I’m warm and it’s ok to be sad etc. Deep breathing helps and if I wake in the early hours with it I get up walk around and if need be I go into another room to sleep I found that does help me get another couple of hours undistruped sleep. Take care

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That poem realy touched me so true thanks xx

Thank you for sharing

Exactly same as me … until i got my puppy - i just used to think soon as i opened my eyes … hes gone :frowning: i used to get a cup of tea every morning too until he was poorly … bless them … good advice to @AlysonandSteve xxx

How brave are you…yes, walking my dog was so hard as he missed my husband and became even more reactive towards other dogs. This made life harder than it was! But I’ve persevered and I’ve become an ok substitute for my lovely husband and my dog responds so well to me now. As a dog person, you’ll understand. But though the dog’s adjusted, I haven’t…it’s only been three and a half months and mornings are the worst times. Will look at those meditation and breathing exercises as look useful. Thank you x

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