Yes, and i just overthink non stop always! 
my head just doesnt stop unfortunately! I havent started them yet im doing them on monday, wednesday and thursday so everyone gets to have them as we have babies in certain days! We only have one full timer thats in every day!
Awh that sounds lovely! What is your main go to meal when you go for food? Hope she has a wonderful time!
Yes its been okayish here to be fair still wet and cold but still nice if that makes sense! Have you managed to sort the garden yet?
I had a friends party last night so celebrated that last night with her! 
Just chilling today though xx
Hi, glad you enjoyed the party and let loose for a while. How is your uncle now- the one who had COVID?
Iām an overthinker tooā¦does more harm than good at times! You will have a lovely week then making cakes with the little ones. Itās good they get to experience activities like that and Iām sure it will get messy!
Iām not too fussy about food but I do like spicy food and a carvery. Iāll see what my mum wants on the dayā¦ might do afternoon tea yet 
Do you have a favourite place to go when you eat out?
Had to go to the cemetery today and see where I want my sonās ashes interredā¦ choose a plot. He will have one with a lovely view and easy to get to for his nans 
. Weather hasnāt been too bad hereā¦ cold but hopefully in the garden in the week.
XX
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Hi, im so sorry for the late reply! He is all good now, thats also been a rollercoaster, and my great nan went back into hospital and she got covid then she was cleared so was my uncle, then they let my great nan leave and shes now back in hospital! It literally never stops!!
Yes they do, we also done cards with some of then this morning which was cute! 
Ooh that sounds nice! I used to go for a carvery with my grandad, i dont go as much now! I like a good gammon meal too sometimes thats mainly my go to 
Awh that must have been tough for you, how are you doing now? At least that will be your way of going somewhere and being close if that makes senses! We scattered my grandads by where he grew up near a tree and i like to go there sometimes just to talk - i know it sounds silly to some people 
Have you got anything excited over easter?xx
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Hi, no need to apologise. Iām aware youāre busy with work 
. Sorry to hear about your great nan being back in hospital again - poor love canāt catch a break. Hopefully she is back home soon and no more hospital stays!
Itās not daft at all talking to your grandad when you visit his resting place ā¦ itās lovely you visit there and I like to think our loved ones are aware of our conversations. I talk to my son every day and still message his phone. I tell my dad and brother what Iāve been up to - itās comforting .
I like gammon dinner too - only thing I seem to make in the slow cooker! Iāll probably take my mum for a carvery as she is quite fussy!
Easter cards with the little ones sounds funā¦did you get to make the chocolate nests?
I chose my sonās plot. It has a lovely view and Iām glad it was available as others are in a not so nice part of the cemetery - look quite unloved 
. Iāve been okay so far thank you. How about you apart from your great nan? Getting closer to your holiday! 
XX
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Yes, it seems like theyve actually realised whats the matter with her now though so hopefully she wont stay long now! It just furiates me that what were they doing all that time when she was in there? Theyre just not helping me opinion of them any better
Yes, i feel like when i tell some people at work or anywhere i feel quite silly like theyre judging me or something! And that i only do it for my recent grandad and not the others but i always still think about them and wish they were still here you know?
Is she? oh no, my brother is really fussy and sometimes its a pain to find a place where he will eat the food!
is that the same with your mum and that?
I done some yesterday with them and it went really good they loved it thankyou! And im doing some again tomorrow and thursday, but tomorrow is gonna be really busy as we are short staffed! And we have settlers in too!
Awh im so glad you managed to pick somewhere! Awh i hate that when it looks like its so deserted and unloved- its someones life! but im glad your son has a lovely view!
Good im glad, ive been okay, im not really sure what being good really means lately but i feel like im always fighting to get through the day and to make everyone happy! And because i overthink its make its all the worse! But overall i am okay thankyou
Yes i am very excited for it! My partner and i also have our anniversary coming up next month too so were on about going somewhere nice then too!
Have you done anything nice today?xx
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Good morning, I nodded off early last night - spent time in the garden and was exhausted and have back ache nowā¦ was nice to get out there though.
Itās good to know the hospital finally realise what is wrong with your Nanā¦ although yes they could have done this before and prevented the numerous hospital stays! I get they are short staffed but stillā¦
I wouldnāt think twice about peopleās reactions to you speaking to your grandad. Itās what brings you comfort and makes you feel closer to him . I had a few people wondering how I could have gone back to work so soon after losing my son but it was best for me and my eldest - I wasnāt coping at home just thinking and not getting washed or dressed. Everyone reacts differently and itās whatever gets you through each day.
You sound like you have a full on week at work!
Hopefully itās not too stressful but Iām sure you will be glad to keep busy!
Have you anywhere planned for your first anniversary?
Hope youāre having a good day today XX
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Awh no way; have you done much work in the garden? Hows your back now? Yes i completely agree, she is home now so hopefully she can stay home now 
Yes i get that, every person deal with it differently and sometimes you know what is best for you! If you felt like you had to go back then you had to kinda thing! That was the same for me, i had longer time off work than my dad and grandad ks, and i went back a couple days after my recent one i just needed to keep busy and that is the best policy isnt it!
Yes its been very choatic this week, the babies have been on a high too, and weve had the news ones settling in too so glad its the end of the week now!
Were not too sure yet but i think my partner has a few plans but hasnt ran them by me yet!
I hope youre doing well and enjoying your break bet its going fast though?!xx
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My back isnāt too bad thank you but legs are aching still. I was digging and moving heavy bags of compost so not surprised. Just had a tidy up and planted a few things 
. I hope your day has been good despite the hyperactive children,!
Everyone reacts differently to different situations and Iām past caring what others think as they have no idea. Having multiple bereavements is just devastating and we are just surviving really during those first months . Iām a bit cranky today due to lack of sleepā¦one of those days!
Glad your Nan is back home. 
No more hospital stays for her.
Have you got to work tomorrow too - good Friday?
Iām sure your boyfriend will have something lovely planned for you. Is there anywhere you would like to go? XX
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Awh; as long as you still look after yourself and take it easy! oh nice, sounds good!
Yeah it has been okay thankyou! And no i actually go back tuesday for non pupil day and then the children come back wednesday! So have a long weekend
Yes definitely it can be such a hard journey though!
Awh no! Did you have a rough night?
Yes, sometimes i do ask myself how does he put up with me sometimes! I can be quite hard work as he doesnt really understand my head sometimes!
Not really feel like we have done so much already and we have so much to look forward and have booked too!xx
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Good you have a long weekend and can recharge and relax 
Your partner sounds very supportive and caring from what you have told me - as do you so donāt be hard on yourself. Youāve been through a lot but still sound quite positive . Lovely you have made lots of memories together already and lots more to come
I donāt sleep well as it is and havenāt really slept in my bed since my son passed away though I really do need to get into the routine of going while Iām off work.
I hope you have a lovely weekend whatever you decide to do XX
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He is, thankyou very much for your kind words they mean so much
I try to be positive sometimes but it dont always work!
Yeah but you will find that routine when you can in your own time! It will take time! I always find night is the worst!
Yeah we are actually in london for a friends birthday; we have done the dungeons today! And going madam tausauds tomorrow!
Hope you have a lovely easter break!
xx
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No need for thanks ah London is great - enjoy your time celebrating and sightseeing! XX
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