I’m afraid I’ve been in a pretty dark place too - it was our anniversary on Monday and, however hard I’ve tried to snap myself out of it, I’ve spiralled right down to the bottom of the pit again. I couldn’t even go to work on Thursday or Friday. I rang in and lied to them that I’ve had a bad migraine. That’s not me. I don’t lie, mainly because I’m no bloody good at it, but I just couldn’t face going in and putting on an act that I’m okay when I’m not. I’ve only got out of bed to feed the cats and have spent the last 3 days either crying or staring into space. It hit me an hour or so ago that I haven’t showered or cleaned my teeth since Wednesday! I’m so glad that I don’t get visitors - I must be Stinky McStinkface by now.
It’s so strange that I fell apart a couple of days after our anniversary. I did have a weep at 4 o’clock on Monsay, which was the time we got married, but I made it through the rest of Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Wednesday evening, I got home from work and just fell apart. It felt like it did in the first few days all over again - crying, screaming and banging my head on the wall. Since then I’ve just been… absent. I feel, like the Floyd said - “There’s someone in my head, but it’s not me”