Dark days

Does anyone have dark days where they really can’t be bothered and just sit and watch tv or go to bed early ?

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Yes, lots of them. Finding it hard to care much about anything most of the time. It’s exhausting.

I’m telling myself it’s because my system is using so much energy processing emotions/ reconfiguring my reality. That’s more than enough for it to be getting on with.

I hope you’re being kind to yourself :heart:

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Sure. I did it last Friday. In my past life I would have thought it a waste of a day, but these days it needs to happen. We are exhausted. In some ways I feel that I’m ill and very fragile, which I suppose is correct. We dont need to explain anything to anyone, and have to take care of ourselves any way we can.

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Hi yes I do have these days frequently. I agree I think the grief exhausts us and so we need these nothing days. Other people don’t seem to understand. They are trying to help me with getting jobs done around the house and garden but some days I just cannot be bothered and want to shut myself away. If it wasn’t for my dogs going out for walks that’s what I would do, take care everyone

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Yes i have days like this ,look after you .Sending hugs

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I have days like this too but I force myself to get out of bed. I think I’m going through depression as well as all of the other emotions but I don’t want it to take over me, I know my husband would not want that for me but it’s very hard to cope without him. :broken_heart:

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Thank you all, it is reassuring to know this is also part of the grieving process x

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Yes, I do. Today is one of those days. Sending a hug xx

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I’m having one of those days today. Lost my hubby November 23. Today just can’t focus on anything. So tired

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So sorry for your loss, my husband passed away on 13 January. X

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Absolutely; lots of them; you just sit there waiting for the day to go so you can go back to bed again.

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Hi @Autumnchild57 and everyone
Me too.
Most days to be honest
And hate it when others think I’m okay.
Just cos I dare to go out, to work, walk my dogs, fake smile…
Everyday is dark without my darling…

So, yes I understand.
Love, hugs and strength to you all
:yellow_heart::hugs::pray:

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Just had the first anniversary of the day he went to work and died.
In all honesty I have spent most of that year sat in my nightclothes crying and feeling beyond grief and sadness. To lose my Pete so suddenly to a massive heart attack was awful. I talked to him 90 mins before he died.
After the anniversary of his death, I gave myself a massive kick up the bottom. He had died, but I had not. With the help of friends I am starting to smile again, and get through the thick and soul destroying fog of pain and grief.
Not to say I don’t cry and miss him so very much. He was my other half, and I feel lost without him. I kept a journal in the latter three months leading up to his anniversary. It helped to write my grief and loss down and to see it in black and white.
Please appreciate you are going through a totally horrendous time. It’s painful, insular. It’s totally up to you how you cope. I felt under pressure to get rid of Pete’s stuff. But! Do you know? If he walked through the door now, he would know it’s his home. His cardi is still on the back of his chair, his suits and shoes are still in the wardrobe, his ciggies are still on the table and his wallet is still here with a fiver in, just in case.
Sorry if I have rambled, but appreciate that you own your grief, and the way you deal with it is your call. Sod what the books and anyone else says. Take care x

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So sorry for your loss and yes I understand totally. It’s hard to pick yourself & it takes tine. Take care.

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Yes I have days when I want the world to stop so I can get off . My daughter went in October. All I want is to hear her voice just once
. It’s hard work to keep going

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Oh I’m so so sorry for your loss, thinking of you :heart:

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Chezza, thinking of you.
You’re right, it is soul destroying and so very cruel. I don’t think people understand just how painful it is. Life goes on for everyone else, even close family and close friends who loved him as well. I sometimes think they are fed up with me constantly crying. My sister in law asked me 2 months after my husband had died, if I had got rid of his clothes ! I had memory bears made for me, my kids & grandkids from some of his favourite things but everything else is still here. As are his ashes, I can’t bear to part with him. His ashes will remain in our house until my kids can bury me with him. :broken_heart:

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Same for me, I have his ashes on his bedside cupboard with all his chaotic assortment of ‘stuff’ still inside, and the wardrobe still has his clothes & shoes and his dressing gowns are still hanging up on the bedroom door. X

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Hi sweetie,
I totally understand. No one else does until we are faced with horrendous reality. The days you wake up and rouse, then have to tell yourself, that the life you had, is over. It’s really really shit. There’s no way to make it better. You just have to cope and get through it. Believe me, that’s not an easy thing to say, there are so many times I have wished my life over, to be with my darling man.

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Thank you, it still doesn’t seem real x

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