Lovely to have your reply,
I had some of Pete’s ashes turned into a bracelet . I have his ashes in my living room. On the anniversary of his death, I took a small amount of his ashes and scattered them at the boating lake were we used to walk, and were so happy.
Please appreciate that moving life forward is always baby steps. I have spent the last year of my life pissed and in my night clothes . I drank, wishing I didn’t wake up . Am still here!!!
4 Likes
I asked Dave if he wanted me to scatter some of his ashes in Cornwall, his reply was “ no I want all of my parts to stay together so that I’m intact when you come to join me “. I have a piece of jewellery ( a heart necklace) with his fingerprint on.
I too have thoughts of no longer wanting to be here, I want to be with him 
2 Likes
I’m trying so hard, going out and meeting friends, looking like I’m doing OK but inside I’m just so very sad all the time.
He didn’t want to die and he would be horrified seeing me like this, as he did worry about me.
I need to stop drinking and overeating, things I never normally do. I haven’t exercised for over 2 months since he died hecause I have no strength now. I’m not myself any more. I hope I can get me back.
4 Likes
Awe take care. I’m going to have jewellery made for my daughters as one lives in Australia. His funeral was a year to the day that we visited a beautiful & idyllic place in Queensland called Noosa, so when I go hopefully my daughter will be able to take our ashes back to that place.
1 Like
Boy, do I ever! I actually quit watching TV for some reason after my wife passed, but yeah. There’s some days when I lay there wondering why I should get up. Then I do and I don’t even get out of my robe, and just kind of wander the house aimlessly until I realize that perhaps I need to give myself a break and go to bed.
I think sometimes our brains have the right answers even if they don’t make sense to us at the time. We have to face our new reality and sometimes we just can’t. I used to feel worthless when this happened but over time I realized that sometimes this is how we have to cope. That this is how we get to the other side of this horrible time in our lives. It’s all so confusing at times but somehow I believe that if we want to, we’ll eventually get through this.
8 Likes
I know how you feel, it’s just as if sorting stuff out and de cluttering is a task I’ve set myself for the next how many years , ready for my passing & making it a little less stressful for my girls. It’ sounds morbid but it’s almost as if I’ve now accepted that this is the last chapter in my life.
4 Likes
Yes, im like that every single day since my husband of 38 years passed last September, every day its an effort to just get up out of bed & dressed, tv is on & i sit staring at it but nothing sinks in. I have lost 3 stone in weight & still losing as im hardly eating, i go to bed at night hoping not to wake up the next morning as there just doesnt seem to be any point to anything any more…im just waiting until its my time to go & join him now, the sooner the better.
6 Likes
Please please don’t feel like that, try small steps, my mum gave me puzzles which I thought were only for older folks but it’s very absorbing. Perhaps try a few pages of a book or try something new. I’m sure they would have wanted you to get on with your life, I know it’s hard. Look after yourself x
3 Likes
I do try reading & painting but my mind cant concentrate for long enough so i just give up in frustration, i go for long walks talking to him about anything & everything, i go out because i dont want to be in the gouse, but when im out i just want to be home because i feel him all around me there, i am being referred for face to face counsselling, but its still early days for me yet, just getting through every day is a struggle.
5 Likes
This is exactly me! It’s so hard especially trying not to make people feel uncomfortable when I don’t want to discus how I really feel.my dogs are still grieving too they still look for daddy
5 Likes
I have lost a lot of weight. My husband was in hospital from August last year and that was the beginning of the end of my appetite. I go out for walks a couple of nights a week with some friends which does help a little but I still have to go home to an empty house
4 Likes
My home stopped being a home, the day Pete died. It became a house. I wander round from room to room as a little lost soul.
Have gotten through the first year, but at times I hated our home. I am thankful for our two dogs, they gave me reason to get up every morning.
It really had been the worst time of my life. I miss my darling man, each and every day
4 Likes
I been like it the past 2 years sweet dont want to get out of bed dont want to eat or see anyone dont want to go out anymore
4 Likes
Yes have been feeling like this alot . When I wake up to a day when it is raining grey and miserable it is even harder to get on with things . If we do get a bit of sunshine it does help me to get a bit more motivated and do things especially in the garden. Looking at replies we are not alone in this we are exhausted and grieving.
4 Likes
I’m the same @SadGirlfriend, finding it nearly impossible to summon the energy to look after myself. Eating everything in sight, drinking a lot more than usual (I rarely drink at all normally) and I’m not nearly as active as I was before.
But maybe that’s ok for right now. Maybe it’s just what I need at the moment. At some point I’ll have to get my shit together and start taking better care of myself, but for now just getting out of bed and eating anything is an achievement, so I’m not going to judge myself for doing it imperfectly.
I’m a climber, and I love climbing - when I was with my partner we climbed together all the time. It was how we met. It still makes me feel better and it’s where I get most of my socialising done too, but some days I just can’t be bothered. And I’m ok with that, for now.
I don’t think it’s possible for any of us to go back to being the people we were before, but in a way I find that comforting, because it means the ones we’ve lost will become a part of us xx
3 Likes
Dear @gary66
‘I go out because i don’t want to be in the house, but when I’m out I just want to be home because I feel him all around me there’
That is exactly how I feel.
Do you know the song by Tanya Tucker
(Without you) What do I do with me?
It explains all of those feelings.
Here are the lyrics… ( And I’ll try and send a link too incase you want to listen)
What do I do now that I’m on my own?
What we did together beats anything I’ve done alone
Since the day that you left, I’ve been asking myself is this how it’s gonna be
Without you what do I do with me?
I don’t wanna go out but I just can’t stay home
I don’t need company but I sure don’t wanna be alone
And to tell myself that I’m doing well is only making believe
Without you what do I do with me?
Without you where do I go?
Where do I turn? I’d sure like to know
What do I do with all of our things
And how do I spend all this time on my hands
I’ve tried everything I’ve been racking my brain
It must be as bad as it seems
Without you, what do I do with me?
Without you, what do I do with me?
4 Likes
5 Likes
@Cathphil i havent heard that song before but it sums up exactly how i feel. Most days i want to start walking & just keep on walking, & walking & walking & not caring wgere i end up…we were true lifeling soulmates, doing everything together but now everything just seems so pointless without gim here. Thanks for the link.
4 Likes
I thought it might… I hadn’t heard it before my husband died, then I found it, and thought , yes , that’s how I feel…
I’m glad you liked it
Love, hugs and strength to you
2 Likes
Lovely song but I couldn’t listen to it, the first couple of lines had me in tears but it is so fitting to what we are all trying to navigate our way through. I can’t listen to music anymore, everything has me in tears, I just listen to audiobooks
1 Like