Evening All,
Hope everyone is doing ok. I too have been busy and come the evening I’m usually exhausted and am sometimes in bed by 10/10,30. The days are repetitive, which is fine, but I find that the weeks are going very fast even though January was a long and dreary month.
I’m sorry about the house H but I’m sure you’ll get another offer soon. I think it’s a great idea to have a joyful event to look forward to each month. I know what March will be for me: our reunion in Manchester. Will book my flight soon. I’m looking for a very central hotel which hopefully will be safer than on the outskirts. Deb we will have to organise the same hotel.
A dear old Uni friend texted me yesterday to say she will be in Italy Easter week so we are planning a reunion with her and another uni friend. It will be lovely after 31 years…… how old am I lol!!
I’ll have to try and invent something for February.
Deb how’s the flat sorting going? Has Glyn moved in yet? I love Cardiff. Many happy memories of a happy time studying there.
I too have been feeling down and just missing mum so much. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking on my dog walks and reminiscing about happy times. The future at times seems bleak and scary without mum there. Do you all feel this? Nothing is the same and I just can’t believe I’m into the 3rd year without her… I miss her just as much as the first day… if not more.
How are you Jules, Gill and Lucy? Thinking of you.
Sending lots of love to you all.
Kxxx
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Hi Sarah,
Well done love. It really is a question of baby steps. I found a poem about this on facebook today, it’s so true. I’ll see if I can find it to post.
Keep going, lots of love.
K xxx
I know H those chilling events are weird. It was like a warning but how could I have known?
The day before just going on with my life not knowing the next morning she’d be gone in a heartbeat. The suddenness of her passing still stings like hell. We often argued because we had very similar temperaments, but we were also best friends and I would have done anything for her. I wish I got the chance to tell her how much I loved her.
I know the actions speak louder than words, I just hope she realised.
I remember you saying about that incident with your mum crying. Maybe she knew something, but didn’t want to worry you. Mum was the same. If she was feeling poorly those last days without letting on to me it was for the same reason.
We all did the best we could is what I keep saying to myself.
Hugs 
K xxxx
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Hi Helen,
I took think I am turning into my mum. I just happened to glance in the mirror the other day to do my scarf and oh my goodness it was mum staring back at me. It really took me back. It was also her scarf. I have even started rolling my eyes like she used to do. And she used to flop down in her chair and now I do It. It’s crazy. Loads of similarities.
As for the house I think it’s a way of preparing you. It happened to me remember. I look back and think it eased me I to selling. It gave me a little more time to keep it and get things sorted and to be accepting that it was on the market. Again all strange feelings that I can’t really explain fully.
Well we are busy here. I found homes for all mum’s things and what’s left from Glyn. We have bought shelving units and everything is looking more organised. We are or rather Paul is decorating the dining room. It has really helped me as it’s been a great distraction. I feel I have been stuck with stuff everywhere for two years and now I am starting to move forward again.
All old furniture has been picked up by the council for recycling and we have made numerous trips to the tip and charity shop including the Sue Ryder shop. It has been lovely to give something back to Sue Ryder. I think Kate gave me the idea after she donated to them so thanks Kate.
I had such a low time throughout Dec and so I decided I had to change. Also felt mum pushing me to change. Almost screaming at me!!!
I think I had actually started to affect Paul and Glyn because I was always so miserable. I truly hadn’t realised I was and it was a wake up call.
Anyway love to you all girls x
Deb x
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Aww Helen I expect your mum knew and just hid it from you. That’s something my mum would do because they just want to protect us.
My mum also lost a baby on childbirth. Only took a few breaths and was gone. So sad. A baby boy.
It’s hard looking back on the final days and what signs were there.
You have gone through this twice and it’s heartbreaking. You have been so brave. And Jules.
Looking back it makes me cry just thinking about how we all got through it and reached this far.
Your Feb trip sounds fab.
Enjoy every second x
Deb x
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Hiya Kate,
Great about the hotel. Send me names of where you are thinking of staying and I will look them up.
If anyone else wants to book the same hotel as us feel free. We will sort it soon.
Yes Glyn is all settled in his flat. We decorated bit for him and it looks lovely. It’s in the 4 th floor and on New Year’s Eve we had the most fantastic view of the fireworks going off everywhere in Cardiff. We stood on his balcony and watched them. It was amazing.
Here’s a few photos.
[Uploading: IMG_20250123_135209.jpg…
Not a bit like the flats I stayed at whilst at uni.
Love Deb x
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Hi all, there were no signs that my was near the end even at nearly 90. The day she fell she did complain of being light headed, the day before that she was driving and up on a stool taking curtains down.
The next few days I’m staying at mum’s looking after my sister’s dog - it can’t come to mine due to my cats and i can’t go to hers as I’m meeting a friend on weds. Maybe it’ll help me decide if i want to buy it.
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Lovely photos Deb. The flat looks very stylish!
You are right… student lodgings were very different back in the day! 
xxx
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Hiya Sarah,
Your mum sounds just like my mum. Age didn’t define them. How wonderful she was so active at such a wonderful age
Good luck with the dog and I hope you decide what you want to do.
You will make the right decision. And then that’s all you need is a plan how to move forward.
Easy to say I know but you will.
Hiya Kate,
Yes very different to the flats of uni days. Thank God for that.
Deb x
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Hi everyone, just a quick post before work. Deborah, the flat looks great. I love the big windows. Really light and airy. He’ll be very happy there I’m sure.
Kate, me and mum didn’t always see eye to eye. She had very strong opinions and wasn’t afraid to speak up. She had no filter and sometimes me and my sister would just roll our eyes at each other. 
I’ll just tell you all this; I was feeling pretty low at weekend and the lead up to it. I inevitably had a go at Tom and then went to bed early. I just cried and cried myself to sleep. I just felt so sad. Anyway on Monday I was off and was taking Mary for her regular walk. We start at the path leading to the woods where I take her lead off and I always make her wait a few seconds before running free. Just as I said ‘okay, go!’ I looked down and there was a white feather. I took 2 more steps and there was another one. No other feathers were around. I just felt they were signs from mum and dad. I said out loud ‘Hello, you two, thanks for joining me on my walk’ I just felt they were there with me. It immediately lifted my mood and I’ve felt much better since.
Okay, need to dash now but I thought you’d like that as I hardly ever get signs these days. Take care everyone, lots of love Hxxx
Hi Helen,
The feathers were signs. Especially two of them.
I can honestly tell you that whenever I have felt really really low I used to have signs. They happened completely out of the blue which used to make me stop in my tracks. There was no explanation for them other than I think a sign that mum was somehow with me in that moment.
I haven’t had any signs for ages and ages. But I can sense her all around me.
I think your mum and dad stepped in to help you. A good cry probably did you the world of good although at the time it’s the worst feeling. And I know that feeling so well when your mood changes on finding a white feather x
My mum strongly believed in white feathers so they are even more special for me. She used to keep them and after she passed I found them.
I am so glad the feathers lifted everything for you. Keep going because you are doing everything you can and I for one am so proud of the way you are managing with work and everything you do.
Nothing is easy anymore. Life is difficult without the ones we love to share it with us. And you and Jules have had to deal with all the grief twice so grab the good days or even moments whenever you can.
Won’t be long until we all see each other so hang on in there ok
Love Deb x
