Hi Jules, lovely to hear from you! Haha! Shall we tell her girls what we look like? Maybe I’ll put a picture up and see if you can guess who’s who Jules. I imagine you to have reddish hair Jules. Isn’t it funny how we build up pictures in our minds?
I’m so pleased you have done it and made the change. It’s hard leaving somewhere you’ve put your heart and soul into for so long. You really have given so much of yourself to that role. Let’s hope you get more of Jules time in your new job. Tomorrow?!! Eeek Exciting. Wishing you all the luck in the world. Your mum will be with you and very proud.
I’m still hoping to change my role too. I’ve never really taken to practice nursing. I’m not unhappy but preferred my old job. I did get an offer but it was full time which I don’t want. Waiting for part time. It will happen.
I’ve been a bit low. Been crying a bit more but think it’s the build up to mum’s birthday on Saturday. I’m going to get her a card and some flowers to put next to her ashes. I wish we were doing the celebration of her life but it wasn’t to be.
Anyway, I will cheer up soon. Kate, hope you’re feeling a bit better. Hope things are working out for Glyn, Deborah.
Take care you lovely lot. Much love Hxxx
Haha yes that’s funny Jules about your image of us 3. Let’s say 2 out of 3 are pretty accurate eh Helen? I won’t say which though. I imagine you Jules with shoulder length wavy mid brown hair! 
Good luck for your new job and very brave of you to change after so long. I too am 51 and one of the oldies in my company now after nearly 20 years.The older ones have now retired and there are lots of younger people now. Remember age is just a number and you have life experience to take you into your next chapter!
I’ve been out for dinner tonight with one of my English uni friends who lives about half an hour in Maranello the hometown of Ferrari. We normally meet once every month or so to have a good chat in English and put the Italian way of living to right!! 
She feels more of a European whereas I feel more British at heart! It did me good to get out as I’m still on a bit of a downer! Missing Alex loads too so roll on Saturday! Deborah hope you are ok.
Anyway just a quick check in.
Love to you all!
K xxxx
Hi Girls,
Aww Jules that made me laugh. You are almost spot on . Yes Helen put a photo up as it’s fine by me . Have you got the one of us three by the tree in that lovely Cocktail Bar. I have told loads of people how lovely that Bar was. I lead a very sheltered life so haven’t been to many like that one. Jules I think you are short with long dark hair and petite. Why I don’t know !!!
Anyway wear flat shoes to school as you will be rushing around like a headless chicken lol. It will be your saving grace Jules and you will love every minute of it.
Helen first birthdays are hell to go through and all emotions are churned up. You will get through it but the tears will flow. You can have your own celebration of life for her. I was thinking that next time we all meet maybe we could have our own celebration of life for our mums like an afternoon tea somewhere. How about that ? It would be something really special to remember them.
Kate how are you doing? Is Alex home yet? So lovely for you to meet your friend I bet you had a good old chat.
Oh how I wish we all lived nearer because we could meet up so often and help each other get through all this. Thank goodness for this forum.
Keep going girls and Jules best of everything for tom. Let us know how you get on
Deborah x
Hi girls, hope you’re doing okay and had a good weekend. Jules I hope you’re enjoying the new job. Takes a few weeks until you start feeling like you know what you’re doing and settling.
Well mum’s birthday was actually okay. I was expecting to be really weepy but I wasn’t at all. I was a bit p’d off that I didn’t get support to have the little gathering to celebrate mum’s life. The weather was beautiful and the garden was lush. It was a perfect day for it. I kept myself busy all day and went to the party. I stayed for a couple of hours but no way could I dance. I usually like a boogie but it would have been so wrong for me.
I’ve not had any signs as such for months which is fine. I’ve felt mum close to me so that’s fine. Anyway yesterday there was a Robin kept coming in the garden back and forth. No reason for it to do that as we’d not been digging soil or anything. The last time it flew away there was a pure white fluffy feather where it had been. I’m taking that as mum saying ‘hello love, you did well going to the party. It’s okay to enjoy yourself. I’m okay’. I can’t say I enjoyed the party but it was okay.
Keep going girls. Our mums are proud of us. Lots of love. Hxxx
Hi Girls,.Well done Helen for going to the party. We all have to carry on and start living even though we don’t want to. Our mum’s would want us to go out and live our lives to the full.
The next big first is Xmas for me and anniversary of mum’s passing on 30th Dec. I don’t know how I will get through that. I don’t really want to do anything so maybe just go to mum’s house and stay the night there. I have decided to wait until the New Year before I put mum’s house up for sale.I just can’t face if yet
I am going to spend a few nights at mums this week and I hope she sends me a sign. Last night I had a sign. I was looking at Paul’s Facebook page and mum’s next door neighbour had put a photo up of a memory 14 years ago.It was a photo of her own mother sitting in the audience of a carnival watching the entertainment on the stage.There was an empty row of chairs behind her then in the row behind that there was my mum.Sitting all alone watching the stage entertainment.I couldn’t believe it. I felt so as seeing her sitting there on her own but 14 years ago she would have been 75 so she probably just wandered down to the local park for an hour to look around.Her hair was brown and she looked so different. The neighbour who put the photo up didn’t recognise her but I did.It was a sign I am sure bec last night I had been on this site reading other people’s posts and read people’s posts of recent losses and it brought everything back for me.I had a few tears reading them so decided I would stop as otherwise I would have got more upset.Then immediately I saw the photo of mum on social media and it was though she was telling me she was with me.Thats what I like to think anyway.
Jules how’s it all going ? I bet you enjoyed it. Give you a few weeks and you will feel like you have worked there years.
Are you working on a one to one with a pupil or in a classroom as a Learning Support Assistant.Cant remember what the you said your new role is.
Hope you are all enjoying the weather we are having.Its been too hot for me today and I have struggled all day with the heat despite having the windows and doors open. Think tom is going to be the same.
Goodnight girls.
Deborah x
Hi Girls,
Found this and I dedicate it to you. Feeling very emotional this week as its the week mum and I always went on our yearly road trip. I always went the first week school started back and it was such a lovely feeling knowing I was on hols when everyone was starting back. So different this year though. I feel so so sad. Have seen loads of hotels that mum would have loved and places to visit. If only I could have kept her just for one more year.
I keep thinking about what we would have done . She was such fun and easy going. It was so lovely just to love her.
I have tried to keep busy this week but it creeps up when you least expect it doesn’t it?
Tomorrow I have arranged for some of mums furniture to go to a charity shop. Just the things I bought for her when she was ill like high chairs etc. Someone will hopefully love to have them. So I shall take a trip up to mums and sort that tom. Am going to do a Kate tom and be like a robot. Going to empty all the draws and cupboards and bring everything back here to sort.
There’s also a little bit of work for Paul to do there like painting a bedroom , fixing a tap and wallpapering a small area so after that we can get an estate agent there. Dreading it.
Thanks for being there for me girls xxx
Deborah xx
Hello all, Thank you for thinking of me and my new role. Well, it has been hectic. 14000 steps in 8 hours on the school site! Deborah I am progess lead/ safeguarding etc for Year 10 at Romsey Secondary school. I am being kept vey busy and my feet are absolutely throbbing but I am enjoying it. Straight from a qualified social worker to a more junior role. Is great but I have to remember I am not in a lead role anymore. However, the teachers seem keen for me to get on with it so all good. How lovely you all looked in the photos. Glamorous trio indeed! Deborah I know it is you in the green dress with the dark hair. You look very tall! I’m guessing Helen in the red dress and Kate in the madras check dress! Am I right?!! And yes I am a brunette ( mid to dark brown wavy shoulder length hair - but I’ve had highlights recently. Not sure they suit me as I’m quite an olive skin tone . I’ll see how I go! I guess i am still quite petite. I’m 5 ft 6 inches and think about 10 stone now. I need to start exercising again though . Starting to feel sluggish and just love a good work out!! Helen it sounds like you have experienced mixed emotions recently. Milestones / birthdays are difficult . Kate: Hope you got back to Italy ok and not too hot. Must have been tough sorting through your Mum’s house and clothes. I am dreading having to do this in the future . Dad still lives in the home we grew up in. Will be beyond tough. But, inner strength will gets me through it and somehow we survive. Deborah: Did your son Glynne work things out with his ex girlfriend ? Also, like you, Christmas will be a challenge. Mum passed on the 27th December just before your Mum. We would have been in different hospitals at the same time no doubt knowing what was potentially happening. I will take each day as it comes. I’m feeling much stronger but I am now starting to mourn my childhood and memories more. Wish I could go back for just one more Cornish holiday with all the family. Memories are great aren’t they but in addition to comfort they also make me sad sometimes… X
Hi girls, Jules you sent the message privately so I have just copied and paste it on here as it was intended for the group. You were absolutely correct in guessing who is who (I sent the photos in a private message for Jules) the new job sounds perfect. There is no price for less stress and less responsibility. I too am hoping to change jobs and that will be a downgrade for me. I am currently a ‘sister’ but will be back as a staff nurse. Less money but better headspace for enjoying life and sleeping well. I can’t wait and worth every penny of my pay cut! It’s hard with our dad’s isn’t it. I’ve started being a bit more selfish in a way. We invite dad to things, even to just come round for a chippy tea abut he doesn’t. You know what? I just think we can’t do any more. I’ve got my grief and dad has his. I try 
Deborah, sorry you’ve been feeling low. It’s bound to happen at these times. I was surprised how ‘okay’ I was on mums actual birthday but have been a bit down since. We’d have been out for a nice lunch and making a bit of a fuss of her. You will feel lost as this time of year has such meaning and such a huge change from something you and your mum used to enjoy together. Instead, you are sorting through all her stuff. My heart goes out to you.
Kate, how are you? How is the house sale going? It’s going to be a toughy when an offer comes in. It will feel so real then. Hope you feel a bit brighter. It’s our turn for the hot weather now! 
I’m not complaining though. Any news about the puppy?
Okay girls, I’ll say bye for now. Lots of love H xxx
Hiya all,
Aww Jules I am so glad you like your new job so far. Just brilliant. Well well done. I covered some steps also each and had to wear flat shoes so I could run fast Little 5 yr old don’t half run fast lol.
Yes am taller than Helen and Kate and you got us so right.
Helen do whatever feels right for you jobwise. You can always return as a sister in the future. Is that possible or would it involve more training?
Next year I am going to set up some sort of small business but not quite sure what yet. I would like something to do with children but don’t want to be tied with childminding or anything like that. Will put my thinking cap on. I also want to work from home and in my own time . Am not asking for much lol. Just a sort of hobby thing really to keep me a bit active.
I am going to spend the next 9 mths at least on my own wellbeing though as I have neglected myself big time. I need to do so much to have a healthier lifestyle. Am sure I will then feel better and I hope to be in a better place mentally, physically and emotionally this time next year.
Jules things are ok with my son They are just friends now and I am at least glad about that. He seems so much better so that’s all I care about. I still hope they get back together though. He is away working in London at the moment so I am just glad he has work to take his mind off things.
Yes Helen this week is strange. A mixture of thinking about all the children going back to school and how I used to love seeing them all and missing my holiday with mum. It will pass as we always say. Am throwing myself into clearing the spare bedroom so I can bring mums things back and store in there. Then tom it will be full on sorting and clearing.
Kate has Alex gone back to school yet? How’s it all going with him ?
Yes Jules I remember you posting about your mum passing so near to mine. My mum was in hosp for almost 3 weeks and then came home for another 2 weeks so passed on 30th. I can remember every minute detail and go over and over it. I don’t know how I will get through this Xmas and the actual day. I feel like I want to do something totally different this year but not sure what.
It’s all emotionally draining even thinking about it.
Anyway girls lovely to hear from you. Will check on you again soon
Deborah x
Hi Everyone
I’ve been pretty busy of late with various things but reading all your messages. Jules well done on guessing us all!!
I’m glad your new job is going well… that’s a good way of getting your daily steps in lol! Sounds hectic but rewarding I’m sure.
I totally get you Deborah because I’m struggling quite a bit at the moment. The transition of time and the seasons especially Summer to Autumn is hitting me hard. Mum was always with us and she loved this time of the year. My mind keeps going back to this time last year when we had just had Alex’s party at a restaurant nearby. She was fine sitting out in the sunshine but then mid month started to be out of sorts which looking back was probably much more.
I still think she didn’t let on to me if she was feeling worse than she said. I keep going over her last month as it was this exact time… little did I know how it would end.
Yes anniversaries, birthdays etc are all tough. I personally struggle more as the seasons and months change and I hate Tuesdays now. Does anyone else find that?
It’s true Helen that grief isn’t linear at all and often pops up totally unexpected. I’m hoping to feel better once we have our puppy to cuddle but will probably have to wait a few months yet.
I hear you are having a mini heatwave, pity it’s so late but then if it was warm in August I wouldn’t have got on with all the work as I would’ve wanted to be out in the sunshine!! It’s early 30s here so much more bearable now.
Deborah yes Alex is back to school next Friday… a weird day to start term! He’s started his football again but had to come back from his retreat early as himself and most of the kids went down with a gastrointestinal virus😩! Poor kiddies!
Anyhow sending hugs to you all and will sign off for now.
K xxxx💕
Hiya girls,
Struggling big time tonight.Just had memories appear on my phone with exactly what I was doing this day a year ago.It was with mum if course up in N Wales paddling in the sea at Black Rock Beach at Porthmadog.I remember it so well as I could drive the car onto the beach and mum only had a short walk to the sea.We had a picnic in the car and threw leftovers to the birds and mum loved seeing the seagulls come so close to us.
We had the beach to ourselves almost.
This is the view from our room that we stayed at. So pretty. If only I knew what would happen just a few weeks later.
Kate I think you are experiencing the after effects of sorting the house and selling it.Its a massive thing to go through. I just wish I was stronger because dealing with all this grief is heart breaking. Since my last post earlier I have sorted my spare room and got a pile of things for the charity shop tom.Can you believe I was actually sorting things left to me from my gran over 35 yrs ago and it’s only now I feel I can part with some if them.So there is no hope for my mum’s things.
Anyway girls I am back not sleeping and awake at stupid hours. Got to go through all this I guess when firsts come along.
Big hugs
Deborah x
Hi girls, it’s funny how the change in season affects us. I think I’ll probably go over things on the approach to Christmas. Mum and dad came to ours for Christmas dinner last year. All seemed so normal but it turns out Christmas Day would be the last time mum would ever sleep in her own bed. Absolutely no clue what was about to happen. Just 3 weeks later she was gone! I’m like you Deborah. I’m dreading Christmas. I too was thinking of doing something completely different. I was thinking of renting a house in Scotland maybe up in the highlands, staying there for the week just walking, sledging, lighting the fire, cooking lovey meals etc. keeping it all very simple. I can’t though because I have dad and also the kids are saying they are coming home for Christmas. The pictures are lovely. Wales has the most stunning beaches. The memories are too painful now but one day they will make you smile. I miss my mum terribly too. We try and carry on don’t we but the sadness is always there. I’ve been quite anxious lately. Nothing I can pinpoint, just general anxiety. Like a churning in the pit of my stomach 
Kate, things are getting back to normal in terms of the usual routine with Alex going back to school. This is such a difficult time of year for you. Your first full trip around the sun without your mum. So so hard. I’m kind of getting used to going to dads now without seeing mum but just lately I’ve had a real sadness going in there. We need our puppies don’t we Kate? Some new life and joy in our homes. I’m getting mine early October as I have nearly 3 weeks off work then to get her settled in. Can’t wait! Maybe you can get a soft toy dog Deborah. At least you won’t have to poop scoop! 
I’ll sign off for now. Thankyou for always being there. You make grief a lot less lonely. Lots of love Hxxx
Hiya Girls,
Feeling a lot better today.The phone memories played havoc with my head yesterday so today I haven’t switched my KOphone on until now and it’s been the best thing to do.
Ok so robot Deb worked today.I have got such a lot done here.I havent stopped all day.Just opened draws,didn’t look at anything,never stopped to show Paul anything but just bagged everything and packed everything into the car.Found it much better to do it that way.I will look through everything when I get home and decide what to keep.Took a few large items of furniture to the charity shop and the lady there said she was looking for an exact chair for her mum so I chatted to her a little and felt so happy the chair would go to someone who really needed it.
Paul did a few painting and wallpapering jobs here and fixed the leaky tap so in all it’s been a good day.
I visited two different neighbours of mum’s and that was nice as I had such a lovely welcome and they told me when I am ready to sell they know of people so I have 3 potential buyers in the pipeline depending on the price though.I think they see me as a bit of a pushover with the price though but I owe it to mum to get as much as I can for it so there’s no chance I will let if go cheap.
Helen your idea of a cottage sounds fab. I just want peace to be honest and that sounds like bliss to me.
Ooh another sign girls.When I came into mum’s house today. I went into her lounge and there was an ornament lit up.The same one that lit up the last time I was here.It was definitely off when we left and we are the only ones who have a key. All so strange but lights again. I actually spoke to the lights and said mum if this is you please please do it again tonight to really make me believe it’s you.Nothing happened again though.
I am convinced it was her though as how else would they have come on as they are battery operated and need to be switched on.
Lol love the soft toy idea. Only way I will ever get a dog girls. I will just listen to your stories lol.
Ok so Kate’s mum passed in Oct so that’s a tough month.Then Jules and my mum in Dec so that will screw us up for Xmas and Helen your mum passed in Jan so that’s messed up the New Year. We are in for a horrible few months girls so we need to think how the hell are we going to get through it. The build up is probably going to be the worst.We need to keep strong and be there for each other.
Kate what date did your mum pass? Sorry I still say pass and not the other word.Just can’t bring myself to say or write it.
Any ideas of how we can help each other?
Have a think girls.
Love Deborah x
PS
Jules how many steps have you d inone do far lol. Have you bought your flat shoes yet ?
Hi Girls,
hope you are all fine.
Deborah, mum passed on 4th October. It’s Bologna’s Saint Day (Italians take their Saint days seriously lol) so it will always be a bank holiday and I won’t have to work.
Last year we’d planned on going out for lunch that day as we were all at home…
In years past mum was normally always over here and we’d do something nice that day or go somewhere special… 
Yep it’s awful when the phone memories pop up each day and knock you for six isn’t it?
The pictures of Wales look lovely, it makes me want to go and visit. I don’t know Wales well apart from Cardiff and a bit of the south and have never been to Scotland or Ireland.
Wow you get loads of signs with light don’t you Deborah? It’s uncanny.
As you say, often the build up to events, anniversaries etc are actually often worse than the day itself. At the moment 4th October is looming and I keep going over and over last September like today when the Queen died and then the lead up to that date. I can’t stop myself from doing it.
I remember a friend of mine lost her mum in 2014 after a long illness at a young age. Once she’d got over the first year she seemed to be more serene and at peace with her loss. She seemed to be reborn from the ashes if that makes sense? Not that we will ever be the same person again, or lose our grief which will always be part of us, but maybe we will emerge and live our lives in colour again. I know mum would want that so I’m hoping so.
I dreamt of mum last night. Not an incredible dream, and a bit disjointed, but she was there and it was actually comforting. I didn’t wake up sad.
Good that you are getting cracking on your sorting Deborah. I too bought some stuff from mum’s over like jewellery which I still have to sort through and her bedroom here is full of her things still. I’ll get around to it. My best friend Julie is coming over at half term to stay for 4 days so I will try to clear things out by then, well some of it at least. Some of mum’s clothes I will definitely keep and wear. I find comfort that way and from wearing her jewellery too.
Oh Helen I’m sure the pooch will make me feel loads better. Alex asks me about 20 times a day when we will get our Westie lol… he can’t wait either. Have you thought of any names? Alex likes Bruno for a male and maybe Luna (Italian for moon) or Penny for a female. We’ll see. I also really like Stella as it’s Italian for star and reminds me of mum. Your highland Christmas idea sounds lovely. I don’t know what we’ll do this year… it depends on whether we already have Poochie as Alex says or not.
Maybe we could rent an air b&b in the mountains and go skiing. It’s beautiful in the mountains with all the lights. Mum loved the lights at Christmas. It will always be hard, but I’m hoping this year it will be a little easier than last year, as it was so raw for me still.
Anyhow I’ll need to get through October first…
Have you anything planned for your Indian summer weekend? Alex has 2 matches tomorrow so back to being a sideline mum and then on Sunday we may go to the seaside for the day as it’s the last weekend before school starts next Friday.
Lots of love to you all.
K xxx
Hi Everyone,
Just a quick post as I feel drained from my sorting and it has hit me hard tonight going through mums things. But I have gone through everything except one bag full so I feel I have done a lot
Aww in Welsh Seren is the name for star.
Kate get through Oct first. Forget Xmas for now. Whatever we do our mums will be with us.
Will write more tom
Deborah x
Hi Girls,
I found this today. Have heard people say that grief is the price we pay for love and reading this confirms it. The words are exactly how I feel . Just stuck.
The harder we love
Means the harder we grieve
The harder it is
To go on when they leave
The harder to sleep
And the harder to wake
To know they’re not here
With each breath that we take
It’s hard to look forward
And hard to look back
Stuck in the middle,
Imprisoned and trapped
Where the harder the darkness
The harsher the light,
The harsher this world
That keeps spinning with life
But when that world’s feeling
So painful and hard
And you can’t imagine
Escaping the dark
It might help a little
To know it’s because
The harder we grieve
Means the harder we loved
I still feel in the painful stage where everything I do is pointless. Just existing and putting a brave face on every day for people.
Another strange thing happened today. I brought back from mums a huge bunch of yellow roses cut from her bush in her garden yesterday. Every year she frowned if I cut any as she loved seeing them on the tree. Last night I divided them into 2 vases and put one next to mums photo on her memory table out of the sunshine and not next to a window. and the other in the kitchen in the sunniest window. Both vases only had rose buds tightly shut so they would have taken a while to open.
Well this morning when I looked mums vase had all the buds (approx 6) opened and not one bud was open in the kitchen vase which had all the light and sunshine.
Think I am losing the plot. The last thing I said last night when i put the vase next to mums photo was Here are your lovely yellow roses mum. If you were here you wouldn’t have let me cut them because I know you always loved seeing the roses open. Then this happened this morning.
Have been to visit an elderly neighbour this morning who is now house bound and lives on her own. I gave her some scarves of mums to look through to see if she fancied any. Lightweight ones she can wear in the house. She was so grateful bless her. I am going to try to give some of mums things away to neighbours that she knew like vases , ornaments and bits and bobs.
Also next week I am booked in to do a car boot sale with some things to raise money for the Yesterdays Voices that was set up with mums donation money. Have decided I will fundraise all year. Just small amounts and then donate whatever I raise on the anniversary of mums passing. I think that will give me something to focus on in the lead up to the date.
Hope you are all okish today.
We have beautiful sunny weather here today so am going to do a bit of gardening to help with my wellbeing. I always feel better when I am oustide even though my garden is a mess.
Love
Deborah x
Hi girls,
Kate, we are still thinking of names. I like proper human names for dogs. Stella will always be my fave and our girl was an absolute star. I like Nancy and Mary. I think they’re cute. If I had a boy dog I like Fletcher. I like lots of other names too so we’ll see. They just grow into their names. It will be lovely having your friend to stay. Someone who’s been through this is good to talk to. Say ‘hi’ to the boys from me xx
Deborah, the words in the poem are so true. Lots of signs recently for you. The light and the roses. Blooming for your mum. Just lovely. It’s so nice that you can give things away and the recipients are so grateful 
Someone else getting pleasure from things your mum loved.
It’s been so hot here! I’m weary with the heat. We went out for tea (dinner) last night and I actually laughed so much my eyes were watering! Can you believe that’s possible? Driving home I realised that was the first time I’d properly laughed like that for 8 months. Then I felt like I had to tell mum ‘please don’t think I’ve forgotten you mum, I still miss you too much’ I felt guilty for feeling happy but it felt so good to laugh properly. I’ve felt positive the last few days. I feel like I can be happy again, maybe not fully but something like at some point.
Anyway girls, enjoy the rest of your weekend. Lots of love Hxxx
Aww Helen,
Glad you went out. I can just see you laughing now. It really does feel strange laughing. Don’t feel guilty. Your mum would want you to enjoy yourself. It’s strange isn’t it how we have such good days then awful ones.
Another hot day here also. Can’t bear it this hot.
Down to my last bag of stuff to sort then all that I brought back is done.
We are going back up there next week to clear the attic and take things to the charity shop. Will also try to make a start on her garden shed. She had so much stuff.
I actually hate the fact people can see me emptying mums house so try to be discreet and fill my car when its dark. Mum was very private and she never wanted people to know her business so I find taking her things out so painful. I have made sure everything so far is covered up but I know soon the furniture will have to be brought out . I hope to do that when it is school time and when people are in work.
Anyway onwards and upwards as they say.
Deborah x
Deborah you’re doing a great job. I totally understand the need to be discreet. That’s what your mum would want. When we moved house, I didn’t like our furniture being on display in the street either, especially beds, mattresses, etc. I’m with your mum on that one. Did you say you’d done her bedroom in lemon? Was that her favourite colour? As she loved those yellow roses too?
I’m trying to enjoy happy moments without feeling guilty. I know it’s a normal emotion when grieving. We’ll get there girls. Xxx
Hi,
Yes mum loved lemon colour and we did her room so pretty with the honeysuckle lemon and white design from Laura Ashley She called it her sunshine room and said when she woke up every morning she felt so happy as the room looked sunny. I really understood what she meant because her duvet had a white background with lovely yellow honeysuckle flowers on it and she had matching curtains.
This morning all her flowers in her vase are open and not one in the other case in the kitchen.
Got up early this morning and just sat downstairs with mums photo just the two of us. It’s quite special really to have those moments.
I have had letters about mums TV licence even though I have completed the form on line to stop it and also her gas bills keep arriving being estimated even though I have sent the up to date readings in. I will have to phone them to explain yet again she has passed. I always get upset talking about it to people on the phone so am dreading it but its the only way to end all this.
I booked an appointment to take some old furniture away from our house so we can make room for some of mums so they are supposed to be phoning us with a time to collect the things within 7 days . So that will be another thing done this week. I am trying to set myself targets to get through each week and have gone back to writing lists lol. Just like being back in school. I like to get up every day knowing I have to do this that or the other otherwise I start getting even more depressed than I sometimes already am. But it’s only because of grief. I am not usually one to let things get me down.
Anyway last night I managed to sort the last bag of things I brought back and today I am going to sort through a draw of scarves of my own because wait for this mum had loads and loads which I have now got. Time to be a bit ruthless with my own and wear mums as they are so pretty. She loved her scarves and had so many. I don’t think I will ever need to buy another scarf for the rest of my life lol.
Paul is laying a new path in the garden today and redoing sections of it. Such a lot of work and it has taken him ages but he badgering away at it each day. Glyn has gone to work in Cardiff but will be back later so I have a quiet sort of day (to get on with my list lol )
Wish we all lived nearer each other. How wonderful that would be !!! But the main thing is we have each other and that girls is priceless x
Another day girls . Keep going my lovelies. Another step forward.
Deborah x