Death of a Husband

Losing a partner
105

Yeah I reiterate what everyone else is saying, this site is invaluable and you don’t have to worry about what your saying as everyone understands where you are coming from, there’s no pretence etc just understanding xx

It’s been 24 weeks for me nearly now and sometimes I feel I’m doing ok, but I think Christmas looming is getting to me and it’s also my birthday 5 days before Xmas and so I’m dreading it, dreading him not being here for it all and just missing him so much. We used always say we wouldn’t buy each other much and then go over the top. I can’t even bring myself to start Xmas shopping and looking for cards, are other people the same just didn’t know if it was just me? Xx

106

Hi I’m sorry for you loss , I lost my husband suddenly 25 weeks ago. same as you I can’t even think about Xmas, my kids don’t want to come here as it’s to upsetting. so we are going out, but to be honest I could just sit on the sofa with a blanket over my head till it was all over. As for Xmas cards I’m not sending any, my husbands birthday is in a few days I’m dreading It take care & hopefully we’re come out the other side xx

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107

Sja2804,

I feel the say way in as much as being myself on this site, but putting on a ‘face’ for family,

I’m trying to deal with Christmas in as positive a way that I can, I have already ordered gifts, some have arrived some not, I’m not really looking forward to wrapping them up, something we kind of shared a little, mainly me wrapping and him smiling and approving, lol, so I’m sure that will be hard.

We always said Christmas was for the kids an grandkids, and new year was for us,
our wedding anniversary is first week in January, so that will be hard again,
then following week it will be his birthday, so a lot of first year things to get through.

It’s 18 weeks tomorrow since my Chris died, so still very raw, I don’t know how I’ve got this far really, I do know this site and all the lovely understanding people on it have helped more than they know, so thank you every one,

Maybe try to just do one small section at a time, that’s how I’ve done most things these past 18 weeks, don’t overwhelm yourself with trying to do it all at once, I’ve done gifts, but still have cards to get, and I will only wrap about 3 items at any one time, spread it out, be kind to yourself, do what helps you best,

Hugs Chrissy3

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108

I lost my lovely husband 2 yrs ago I’m still trying to summon up enough courage to have a little coach holiday on my own I have got the brochures but I haven’t the confidence . Couples will probably run for the hills when they see a woman on her own . I have friends but they are all married with their own lives. I wish my husband was here I miss him dreadfully xx

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109

I’m finding it harder as the weeks go by my friends took me for lunch and all sat talking about their husbands and the holidays they’re all looking forward to, I zoned out after about an hour and I cried when I got home because my husband wasn’t mentioned once and my heart broke I know they didn’t mean any harm but I feel distant from them and wonder how long our friendship will last, another loss, I keep thinking of the song by Keane ‘everything is changing and I don’t feel the same’ it’s all so mixed up and I can’t even think about Xmas, I can see this is going to be a bad time for all of us love and hugs to everyone on yet another lonely Sunday xx

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110

I’ve just thought about how I’m feeling today and it’s
My heart aches for him that’s how I feel 2yrs on and whenever
I think about him and talk about him the tears are flowing again xxx

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111

Since losing my husband I have changed I think
and I’ve become more belligerent any one else feel like me
??

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112

All last week I felt I was constantly on the edge of tears. This weekend my husbands brother and his partner came to visit. The tears flowed, they cried along side me and there was plenty of cuddles until the tears stopped. It was so refreshing to be able to show how I was really feeling.

Their support has been so genuine and well meant.

My husbands birthday is in November and we both loved Christmas. 2 events which I am dreading.

Sending you love and hugs

Dee xxxx

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113

Christmas 2020 was the first after the loss of my husband. Uphill struggle if being honest. I sent no cards but received quite a few many containing insensitive comments like “Have a fabulous Christmas”. This year will do as last put up the tree as best I can for the grandkids, no cards to be sent. The focus will continue only to be on our grandson’s, celebrations no longer exist for me.

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114

I don’t know about belligerent- but I’m fed up of sitting by myself every night watching rubbish on tv. Horrible being alone with no one to comment about programmes. Awful learning to live alone. Go to bed alone. Get up alone. Eat alone. It’s a year since I lost my soulmate and best friend. We’d been married over 48 years and together for 53 years - since I was 15. I loved him so much - and he loved me the same. He would do anything for me. I was spoilt - I know that now. I’m so sad - like everyone else on this site I suppose.

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115

I feel exactly the same as you we were married a long time
It’s been 2yrs and I still don’t want to believe it You get to
know what the other one is thinking that’s all gone
I wish he was here just to have him here the warmth of him
everything !!

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116

Hello, i lost my husband very suddenly and unexpectedly at New Year. I’m 53 and am not coping at all but can put on a front.
I have been told we have suffered a Trauma and I cry all the time, trying not to cry too much in front of our children 22 and 20 who are still at home. My friends have been amazing but they admit that they can’t begin to understand what I am going through.
So I try not to talk about it and found this site so that I can talk to people who understand . I feel completely lost x

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117

I lost my 50 year old husband suddenly and unexpectedly in March. My kids are 23 and 20. I understand the feeling of total and utter shock and how life has altered completely from what it was in the blink of an eye. Feel free to message me if you think it will help. Take care

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118

Thank you for your message and I,m so sorry for your loss. Life has turned completely upside down, I am heartbroken as I am sure you are to. 10 months on and I still can’t believe this has happened to us. I can’t sleep, have lost all my confidence and recently started having panic attacks. I just don’t know how to cope with the grief, sometimes it just consumes me. you are not alone x

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119

Have you tried counselling? I think just being able to talk to someone who you are not trying to protect can help.

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120

I feel exactly the same, although its only been 2 months since i lost the love of my life. It was so unexpected. I was only 17 when we married and had celebrated our 51st anniversary. I dont know what to do with myself. Its so raw. I know its early days but i cant imagine ever feeling better. I really want to join him. :heart:

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121

So sorry for your loss - it is early days for you - it is Anniversary of his death on Thursday. I can say it sometimes feels a little less raw than it did at first - but I still cry every day. Wondered if you’d tried counselling- I did find it helped a bit to unload to someone who doesn’t know you and who you can say anything to. Families are good - but they are grieving too and I person didn’t want to upset mine any more than necessary. This site is helpful to know that your not alone and strangely enough it helps somehow to know that others are suffering too. That sounds awful - but I think it makes me feel less sorry for myself.

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122

Hi ya I’m 25 weeks since I lost my husband suddenly we had a life, we had a past I thought we were going to have a future :cry: I’m sorry having a really bad day it’s steves birthday next week don’t know weather I’m coming or going. Didn’t want to bull my eyes out to the kids so popped myself on here xx

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123

hi, i lost my husband 10 weeks ago and it would have been his birthday last saturday he would have been 62, i know how you feel i had a real bad day xx

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124

Hi so sorry for your loss I lost my husband Jan still get in a state I had to go for physio today have 2 slipped disc poor man I walked in and just burst into uncontrollable tears he didn’t know what had hit him poor man in between sobs I explained I had lost my husband Jan with covid and I was just having a bad day I did raise a smile on way back home take care x

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