My ex-wife died 10 weeks ago at the age of 29, whilst on holiday with my daughter. I’m confused how I am supposed to feel and what is right.
The death was sudden and we have a 4 year old daughter together (who is actually coping better than me at the moment). But I feel all over the place at the moment.
I initially thought that I was doing fine and just getting on with everything, mainly being there to support my daughter.
There is so much I feel and don’t feel. My rational brain initial said that I had already grieved the relationship when we split, and we had both moved on. But I think I actually felt numb. Whilst she was no longer my wife, she was the person I married, had a child with and spent a large part of my life with.
It all makes me feel terribly sad, and the circumstances were/are exactly that. At the moment I am getting very little enjoyment out of anything, other than being with my daughter and to be honest, life seems all very pointless (the mundane Monday to Friday grind I mean).
I feel bad for feeling bad, but I know I am not coping. I have been to the doctors and they have given me some antidepressants, I sat in a restaurant the other week and started crying for no reason. I am also suffering with really bad heartburn etc
I don’t want to feel sorry for myself, I just don’t know how to feel.