Death of husband 2 days ago

Hi all I’m sandieb im 44 and just lost my husband of 21 years and 28 years together 2 days ago suddenly and really to cope he was my whole life and don’t know nothing without him

Really struggling to cope

Hello Sandieb
I lost my partner 2 months ago to covid, he was only 56.
He was the only reason i got up each day, I miss his warm smile and cheeky humour. My heart is broken.
It’s so hard to cope and it’s early days for us, its so raw and the pain we feel is unbearable and the crying I do every day is exhausting.
Keep posting on here there are so many people who are lovely and also feeling the same pain as you and I.
Sending you a warm hug.
Amy x

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Thankyou just don’t know how to cope at minute can’t get him out my mind for 1 second can’t watch television can’t eat just don’t know how to carry on

Welcome Sandieb to online community. I am extremely sorry to hear of the loss of your husband suddenly. My husband died on the 16 January 2021 also suddenly. So very raw for me also. I found this site a month ago and have been encouraged by so many on here. Sandieb there are no words to compensate for your loss none at all. However, you are amazing only x2 days ago losing your husband and you’ve managed to message. You are not alone day be day you will be strengthened to make those difficult decisions and sort out so much. I pray you are not alone and have support around you. Don’t be afraid to seek support as much as possible as we really need it to walk this new road.
Juneie

Thankyou so much for kind words

Sandieb just as Amy mentioned to you we cry endlessly. The loneliness is painful. The loss of our soul mates. For now it feels like there is nothing else that matters and those feelings of not eating, not sleeping, thinking about our loved one is normal. Grief is awful. We were known as George and June and I cannot bear the fact of being alone without him. However, we need to live and keep our husbands memories alive and let their legacy live on.
Juneie

Sandieb
I lost my partner to covid on 3rd February and I am also in the deep despair of grief, I have taken advice from people on this site and get through one day at a time sometimes only an hour at a time.
I still sob uncontrollably and the longing to see and hold him is unbearable.
Every one on here understands your pain and it has helped me to know I’m not alone.
I am in weekly contact with my GP and have counselling once a week to try help me through this journey I and no one else here asked for,

Virtual hugs :hugs:

Julie

Dear Sandieb

Sorry for your loss. My husband died suddenly in September. As others have said it is difficult to cope and the pain is unbearable. I was with my husband approaching 43 years and married for 38 - he too was and is my everything. I write this knowing that I did not eat properly in the early days, lost so much weight in such a short time. so please do try to eat - even if just a small amount.

Keep posting, people will listen and offer support.

Take care
Sheila xx

I too lost my husband to Covid on 27th January after 4 weeks on a ventilator. The pain and heartache, guilty feelings and emptiness is unbearable. When I am at my lowest I put his photograph in front of me and talk to him telling him everything I am feeling. I talk to him when I’m driving to the supermarket as I know I will be in tears before I leave there. It hasn’t cured my pain but it does help me a little.
I just pray for the day when this pain eases.

Tomtom

I am so sorry for your loss my heart goes out to you. I hope you and your daughter are getting support I have had very bad thoughts which scared me but my GP has been really helpful I am now on medication ( which I understand is not for everyone) and receiving support from TalkingSpace and Cruse.
Please get through each day the best you can sometimes still now I go hour by hour.
I still text Tim when I’m really struggling and write to him in a diary.

Everyone on here understands the pain and despair you are going through a journey we never wanted and a road none of knows when or if there if it ends.

Virtual hugs :yellow_heart::yellow_heart:

Tom-tom so sorry for your loss welcome to this site. So recent like me. My husband was January also. It’s painful I would never wish this on anyone. You never know what’s around the corner. I guess we need to get resilient for our own health particularly if you have children. You don’t want them suffering the loss if 2 parents. I thought about that myself as wasn’t eating well sleeping etc. Do access support. I’m with Sue Ryder counselling amongst other bereavement support services. Have you heard of Meet Up bereavement support they meet Sunday mornings fortnightly via zoom.

We need support. My husband was my rock. Although I have company my children here it’s an empty house without him. Strange I also speak to George often. He died suddenly unexpected brain heamorrhage had high blood pressure an other things.
I’m pleased you found this site. We are here to listen an support.
Juneie

Thank you . It helps a little to know I am not the only one experiencing this overwhelming grief. I have always been the strong one in our marriage and to suddenly find myself not able to cope and constantly crying is alien to me.
I just feel so lost and empty. I get angry when well meaning friends tell me it’s time to pull myself together ,otherwise I’ll make myself ill and Tom wouldn’t want that!
It’s 6 weeks since I lost him and they think I can recover in that time? I can’t see that I will ever recover just learn to live with it eventually.

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Tom-tom people say incredible insensitive things at time. They mean well an i guess do not really know what to do especially if not gone through it and want to make it right for you. Anyhow you do what you want when an how. I’m crying all the time. Being alone is awful alone in bed at nights, alone eating, alone watching TV. I get fits of panic an my stomach feels knotted. Ohh another one is feeling George is going to open the door any second and come in. His car outside the house is a constant reminder. My daughter is learning to drive but it’s too big for her a first car. Also all paper work to sort out. I’m back to work middle of next month also. Tomtom I guess we need to take one day at a time.

We are not going crazy we miss our husbands an want them back. That’s never gonna happen so whilst we are breathing we need to survive and thrive.

I’ve said it before on here my grandchildren make it all right they are 2 years an so funny the things they say. They are so clever. Was making porridge with one an he said where’s grandad George…what do you tell a 2 year old? Just said in heaven and he looked to see if he could see him in the sky!!

I’ve gone on alot apologies.

Take care of yourself
Juneie

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Juneie I have struggled on for the 6 weeks ,since I lost him ,believing I had to learn to cope on my own. Yesterday was my darkest day yet.

Desperation made me look for answers on bereavement and I am so grateful to find this site.
To read all the sad stories and how others are coping is a comfort .
I never thought I would need counselling or emotional help. My upbringing was be strong and get on with it, seeking help or voicing emotions was a sign of weakness!
Well I am no longer strong and I am very grateful to talk to people who are experiencing a loss like me.

I cry constantly, talk to my Tom every day and expect him to appear through the door. I keep his boots still at the door where he placed them when he came home.
We were together for 30 years ,had ups and downs as every marriage does, but we were stronger together and he adored me.
He was always the romantic one and I just feel so guilty that I didn’t show him demonstrably more love whilst he was alive. I miss his hugs and giving me a kiss every night before he went to bed. I wish I wish I wish and now it’s too late.

I guess what I’m trying to say after babbling on is thank you for the support and compassion. May we all find a way to cope knowing we are not alone in our grief.
Xxx

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My pleasure Tomtom you make sense . It all resonates with me. Everything you said I say ditto.
My regret is how awful I was at times. Wish I could marry George over again…how silly I can’t I would do it differently if I could.
Have a good day Tomtom I’m now going for a socially distanced walk with a friend in a local park.
Juneie

I’m really sorry to hear about your loss. My partner passed away 3 weeks ago, and he was the love of my life. I know how you feel and being suddenly loss in this world without your husband. Please try surround yourself with friends/family if you can. Talk to them, go for walks. Is too painful to go through this by yourself and being alone will make it worse.
Be prepared that the grief might get worse in the next few weeks. The first week i was in shocked but once reality sets in the next 2 weeks, it really affected me so badly. Know that this is part of the grieving stages and take each day as it comes. Take good care of yourself

Sukie I am sorry you have lost your soul mate as well.
You are so right that reality suddenly hits home.

Sadly for me I have no friends or family near me.
We moved down here to the country18 months ago, when my husband retired.
Unfortunately after a few months we went into lockdown and didn’t have the opportunity to meet people and make friends.

I put the house on the market , it sold immediately ,as the memories of all our plans here are too painful. I hope to move back to be nearer family.

I am scared to leave as I do have some good memories and we loved it here.
Part of me can’t wait to go and the other part of me is terrified of moving to a new home that he will never know.
I have irrationally come to hate this house, asking myself if we hadn’t moved here would he still be alive?

I don’t think wherever I live will ever feel like a home again. I’m praying that I just find some peace of sorts from this overwhelming pain.

One thing I do know , he is forever in my heart and will be coming with me wherever I go.

The grief is still so raw for both of us and I pray we both find our way through it.
Sending hugs. Xx

Hello Sandieb So sorry for your lose, I too am like you my wife of 65 years died on Friday from cancer we were not expecting it to happen so quickly, my daughter and I manage to get her home with the help of the NHS, so she die with her me, my daughter and granddaughters around her, she was on Morphine but she knew we were with her. I don’t know what to do I wander round the house, I can’t sleep in our bed I try to sleep in the armchair. There are so many of us on this site, all suffering in some degree like us, I read on hear this terrible hurt will ease off over time but it is now I need some relieve from it, speak again soon

Hi Colin123 so sorry for your loss your pain is like all of ours. I hope you find comfort on this site. Only Friday losing your wife I commend you. I couldn’t make head or tail of things 2 days from my husbands death which was 16 January 2021.

It’s devastating for us all. You have to take each day by day. It’s great you have your daughter and family around. I hope you feel as supported as I feel on this site.

Juneie