Its been 5 months, im not getting out of bed, im having nightmares, i dont want to see anyone. I just want to be with him, i dont want to be here any more. Is this normal?
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Have you managed to see your doctor ? Grief is a relentless thing but maybe talking to the gp might help a little or give you some direction on getting some temporary relief to see you through hour by hour. I would swap places with my son if I could and am tortured with the fact I’m still here and my beautiful , sensitive and loving 22yr old son is not. I thought a mother’s love would keep him safe- I can only keep his spirit and memory safe with me now - got to keep going to honor his life.
Think its normal well it us for me, i spent 13 hours in bed yesterday
I’d spend all day in bed if I could, it’s a comfort thing for me. If it weren’t for my other sons I would’ve joined my Thomas but I couldn’t do that to them. I don’t care about my husband, he’s not his father so he doesn’t understand. I just exist, nothing more really.
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Are you in contact with your sons father? Ive become very close to my ex . He has a new partner, but like you, doesnt feel a thing as she cant understood
Yes my ex lives in California just like my son did. He adores his sons and we get on better than when we were married.
He finds it hard to be emotional but I’ve been messaging him and he’s opening up. He’s quicker to anger but I’m trying to help him not be angry about this as it won’t help him. Unfortunately his wife has dementia and he has a lot on his hands.
Oh darling, I’m so sorry for your grief. I have a puppy, it’s the only reason I get up. I have to walk him, I cry like a baby all the way.
This first Christmas without him has broken me. I don’t want to be here but I have another son, how could I hurt him by leaving this world?
I wish you peace and acceptance, it’s all we can hope for xxxx
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Su9096,
Yes this is perfectly normal my friend.
I lost my beloved son on 1st November 2022 and still struggle everyday with the overwhelming grief and sadness.
The pain,in the first few months,is overwhelming and unimaginable.
You just feel numb and completely exhausted.
Lost doesn’t even come close to the pain that you’re experiencing,believe me I know.
You have to take each minute by minute and then hour by hour until it becomes day by day my friend.
The pain never goes away but it does become easier to bear and I draw strength from the fact that my son is now at peace,no more suffering and no one can hurt him or take advantage of him anymore.
Always here for you.
Love Jayne c
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Please someone tell me how do I stop this pain inside like someone is twisting my insides my son passed away 8 days ago he was 47 and my first born he went to sleep and never woke up I have other adult children they are struggling also do I just take it day by day I havent cryed yet today Iv cryed everyday I try to just carry on
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Hi Liz, I have no answer on how to stop the pain, grief is painful because we loved our sons so much. I’m coming up to the first anniversary of my son’s passing at 35 and it was totally unexpected. Every day I cry because he’s not here, he was the son that made everyone smile. I mourn the loss of his future with his family, it’s so wrong that he’s not here. I find this site very helpful as we are all grieving and understand the pain. I’ve also started a bereavement group in my area that is helpful. It really is one day, one hour or one minute at a time.
Lcc59. Thank you I will try just put one foot in front of the other it’s all just so unbelievable at the moment my 2 daughters and my other 2 sons are suffering also and it’s hard I can’t take there pain away my husband is in shock he is a poorly man himself it’s mad you feel like the world should stop turning but everything goes on the same
I know right? I get angry that the world is just carrying on, I feel like shouting ‘do you not know Thomas isn’t here anymore?’ I hope you and your family get the support you need x
Lizz
Im so sorry you are going through this. For the first few days I wanted to end it all and be with him. I have another adult son so i couldn’t do that, too cruel. Its so painful to see everyone just carrying on as normal. The pain is a physical thing, my son died in September and its still there. The only thing you can do is love your remaining children and your husband. Just try and comfort each other, he would want that. Try and get through an hour at a time, that seems to help. I am sending you strength and love. Please contact me any time. I truly understand your pain and how broken you are
Penny xx
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Liz,
I know exactly what you’re going through and experiencing.
I lost my beautiful son on 1st November 2022 aged 31 years and I to have to continue on for my darling daughter.
As parents we have no choice but to be there for our children wether they are with us or not.
Please don’t ever feel you are alone because you’re not.
Love Jayne x
Penny11 Thank you just to no its normal how I feel is a help.i think it takes time for it to sink in it just feels like a nightmare ,but I think I have realised now it’s a nightmare I’m not waking up from. I want to be strong enough to help my other children it was just so sudden thank you for being there
30991 I want to help my other children cope with it but how can you do that when I can’t even cope myself . I am praying for the strength to get through this its something no of us ever thought we would have to do thank you for your support
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Just hold them and love them, that is all you can do. You sound like a lovely, caring mum. Try and hold on to that xx
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Liz,
I don’t really know the answer to that but as a Mum we somehow find an inner strength to carry on for the love of our existing family and in time after the initial trauma we slowly and I mean slowly realise we are needed by others who desperately need us.
Stay strong.
Jayne x
Hi all, just reaching out in case anyone is struggling or needs help. I’m not able to sleep very much. I’m happy to chat. Missed my boy so much today . Take care
Penny x
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The pain of losing him is too much. Spent all day on my own without him. This is my life now, so sad and lonely xxx
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