Penny 11 So sorry you are suffering so bad today ,iv spent the day crying down the phone to my friend or my sister in law couldn’t seam to get a grip today my youngest son come to see me managed to mostly hold it together. Spoke to my youngest daughter she was my rock last Saturday when we got the phone call to say he had died your son died in September you say so it’s still very raw for you also it’ so sad your on your own I’m so lucky I have family around me
Penny11,
I still cry everyday about the loss of my son and he passed on 1st November 2022.
It’s so raw still and for you it is such early days.
Try to be kind to yourself and don’t be afraid to cry, it’s a natural reaction and has to happen to be able to release the pain that you’re feeling.
You’re not on your own,there are lots of us suffering the same and we need to be there for one another.
Big hugs,
Jayne xxx
1 Like
Aw, thank you, it’s lovely to get a message, makes you feel less alone ⁶⁶⁶e xx
I’m sorry you’re having a bad day. I cry every day for my son and I think I always will. It’s a terrible thing losing a child, there’s no pain like it for me. Sending hugs to all you parents out there x
1 Like
Unfortunately, I don’t think there is a normal. It’s different for each and every one of us. my son died July 4th 2023 and I feel like it gets harder. the 1 thing that has helped me is to help others that have grief. It makes me realize I’m not alone. and I get outside. Getting fresh air is rejuvenating for me. No matter what your ability just get outside and walk in silence. I found that helps me and also to just sit on the floor and breathe for 5 minutes. And just think loving thoughts, journal what you feel. I too am very, very sad today, but we must go on and if something comes to you and it doesn’t feel right, then that’s a no. If it makes you feel better, then that’s a yes. But get up every day and do something. My heart goes out to you and all of us that have lost someone near and dear to us. It is a crushing pain, but it means we loved them so much. We are so lucky we love them so much.
2 Likes
I’ve just lost my 18 year old daughter on the 4th December. A couple of years ago I lost my cousin and then my mum, then split up from my partner. I am so lost. No parents, grandparents, siblings or partner and now I’ve lost my daughter. I can’t get out of bed either. I’m staying with a friend and I just wander around crying and wondering how life can be so cruel. I realise I’m in the early days of grief but I can’t imagine another 30 or 40 years of this. She was at her dads at the time and I’ve had abuse off him and his family. They didn’t even attend the funeral yesterday. I feel so alone in this. It’s comforting to know that my behaviour is “normal”. I’ve been called crazy because I can barely leave the house. I was like this before, after losing my cousin and mum and splitting from my partner but this is truest the worst pain in the world. Only a parent can understand it. All grief is relative but you can make peace with losing a parent in their 70’s or 80’s as you know they lived a life and that’s the natural order of things but a child? No one should ever have to go through that.
2 Likes
I agree no one should ever have to go through losing a child. it is the hardest thing I have ever gone through and I have lost many .2 brothers and mother father. All young and just since Wesley has died, I’ve lost 6 or 7 other people and 7 animals within the close family. It’s just devastating. but it does Give me comfort to realize. I am not the only one that has lost. This happens to people all day long. We never know when we’re going to go. That’s what lifes about. We come in and we go out. And we never know when. I look at my lost loved ones as angels, my personal angels. It gets me through some tough times ; doesn’t get rid of the tough times but helps me through.
1 Like
I’m so sorry about the loss of your daughter. There are no words, its just too heartbreaking. Please try and reach out to someone, maybe tell your gp how awful you are feeling. The pain is physical, its hard for people to understand. Your grief, unfortunately, will not get less , but your life will expand to help you deal with it. Everyone on here knows how you are feeling and we will try to comfort you if we can (to howlingbell)
Thank you for your kind words. The days are just so hard at the moment. Hopefully in time I will learn to deal with it better but at the moment it is such a struggle. My GP has been great but medication seems to just mask my emotions and make me feel numb. I realise it’s all they can do.
My 19 year old son died August 2023 and I feel the same I push myself to get up ho to work carry on for my other son
Hubby but I do feel like I don’t want to carry on it’s not fair to still be here. People tell me he would want u yo carry on your strong etc but I don’t feel like that.
3 Likes
@Milton2655 I get where you’re coming from, I feel the same way too. It’s like when people say ‘he would want you to be happy’, how can I be happy when my son isn’t here? I have two other sons but it should be three, they were my three musketeers.
Hi everyone, sending love and good thoughts. I had such a bad day today , I felt a huge panic that I will never see my lovely boy again. How do you cope with that? Do you just have to feel sad and lonely for the rest of your life? Xxx
1 Like
Hello, I joined this forum as my youngest son passed away unexpectedly on Christmas eve. He was 25 years old. I’m having a hard time accepting he’s gone forever and expect him to walk through the door. I haven’t moved any of his belongings and they are how he left them before he went out for the evening. People have been lovely and supportive but it’s hard to explain to them how I’m feeling… Just a sick feeling that I won’t speak to him and hear his voice again. I struggle to shop as I see his favourite food and treats I can’t buy for him.
2 Likes
Aw, I’m j just the same! I was in the shop yesterday crying over stir fry veg and sauces that he loved. I really can’t bear it.
It’s been over 5mths since my son died and even saying that now upsets me but I can relate to all of this. I don’t think people get it or can truely I have lost loved ones before but nothing comes close to the pain of losing a child so young as well. It’s not normal for us to outlive them at all. People keep asking how we are how do u answer that? My other son is away this weekend and I’m trying not to be suffocate him or bubble wrap him but he is all I have left . I have my hubby also . People say it’ll get easier it doesn’t I guess we just have to learn To live with it . I didn’t get to say goodbye not that I think that would have made this easier if I had. X
It pains me every day that my son isn’t here, it just is so wrong. I’m scared I’ll forget what he sounds like, I miss his messages ever day telling me how tired he is and what English foodstuffs to bring over on my next trip. It will be the anniversary of his passing next week and I still cry every day, he was such a beautiful soul. I mourn the loss of his future, he should be living his best life with his wife and stepson. The thought that there will be a day I don’t cry is alien to me as I loved him so much. We are all part of a club no one wants to join, the Grieving Parents Club 
1 Like
Dear Penny, for the last 3 weeks I’ve been trying to get a grip on the loss of my son. He’s been gone since July 4th. It gets easier and then it gets much harder. I feel your pain. Its so real, yet unimaginable and completely impossible to describe.
I finally got myself in a better space today. it truly does help when I get outside and have the fresh air around me for at least an hour. I found that that deep pain that is so intense is only relieved by crying as hard as you need to no matter where you are. For as long as you need to. I also find just getting on the phone with somebody and crying in the beginning And then just getting into an everyday conversation and getting present helps me, I’m no expert on this. I’m suffering too, but these things have helped me.
I also believe that we are here for a time. And when it’s our time we go and those left behind It’s hardest for because we can’t understand. but when I think hard and pray and call my son, He comes to me in spirit. And that is so comforting to feel like he is always with me and he is not in pain.
We don’t have a choice. We must go on and live our best life and stay present. It’s the only choice good luck to you. Thinking of you and sending you a great big hug
Ladytji
Thanks so much for your lovely message. Im very sad tonight. I find the weekends hard. Need to get used to the loneliness. I have been out and taken the dog for a long walk, which was nice. Im trying so hard to move forward, whatever that means but it just comes down to the fact that i miss him and want him back. Sending love to everyone xxxx
2 Likes
Outside always helps me. When i realize how deeply i loved my son, i then understand why my sadness is so deep. Then i get present enjoying this moment and remembering those many beautiful present moments with him.
Lets make more beautiful present moments with those we love around us. Xx
1 Like
Im so sad, I just want to be with him. There doesn’t seem to be much point to life without him. He was my everything xxxx