Thank you, I will certainly think about it xx
Penny11 Our youngest son has been inconsolable since his older brother died 3 weeks ago. Itās so hard trying to comfort them when you feel like your heart has been ripped out itās early days yet and Iām hoping i can remember our son with out bursting into tears thatās all I seem to do at the moment is cry just canāt believe I will never see him again or hear his voice I hope your son finds the strength to remember his brother without the pain I pray for this for my son also that he can remember his brother without the sadness thatās all any of us can wish for love lizz
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Itās so hard navigating this dreadful journey we are all on.
Trying to support our remaining children/child is the hardest thing we have to do whilst going through the most agonising grief ourselves.
There are no answers or process for this,itās just about being kind to yourself and listening to each other.
Trying to share your thoughts and feelings and I know only to well that thatās not always possible as we all feel and grieve different things at different times but communication is the key.
I have only just said to my darling daughter,before she went to bed,not to stop talking to us even though she still canāt talk about that truly traumatic day that she witnessed her brother pass away in the most horrific circumstances.
I wish you all hope and some form of healing in the future.
Jayne x
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Iām nearly 6mths months in my son 19 died in August the grief is a rollercoaster of emotions . I had gotten my sleep back to some kinda of normal but last week itās been all over place. I dream about him every night now. I had gone back to work which was a distraction . Had last three weeks off as had to have surgery and the recovery at home was hard wasnāt very mobile so couldnāt get out and just at home in my own head space wasnāt good. He died a week before his 20th. Iām struggling now with the what ifs and what is planned for us I constantly worry about my other son who is now 18 had a birthday in September which was hard for all special birthday without his older brother. I struggle to comfort him and make it right as we canāt can we we canāt being them back. He told me he will always be his older brother even when he gets past the age he was itās just so upsetting all of it . X
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Hi @Milton2655 . Iām sorry for your lossā¦Losing a child is a pain like nothing I can imagine.I lost my youngest son 5 weeks ago and also have an older son. Iām still trying to process it all but trying to be strong for my eldest. He hasnāt said much and with the funeral approaching I think it will hit him hard that day.
Work for me has also been a distraction though some days I feel burnt out.
I lost my youngest brother two years ago and I tortured myself with what ifsā¦ and believe me it doesnāt help at all because it hasnāt changed what happened. What Iām trying to say is donāt add to your upset thinking about what you could have, should have done. It sent me into a dark place and not repeating that with my sonās death is keeping me from going back to that dark place.
My heart is broken for him and it always will be but I know one day I will find a way to live with the grief and remember him with a smile.
I hope this makes sense and I know everyone is different but from losing my brother the one thing that really helped me was accepting he wasnāt coming back and that is what I have to do one day with my son. 
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Thank you I know I need to accept he isnāt coming back I know he has gone but some days it still doesnāt seem quite real. X
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I understand. My son used to work away during the week and I sometimes imagine he still is. Itās the weekends that are the worst as he would be home with all his dirty washing. Iāve still got his things in the laundry basket. I havenāt moved anything yet as itās all so recent x
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I completely understand. I looked after my son for most of his adult life due to his mental health. He suffered so much but was so brave and compassionate to others. What makes his death so hard was that he was in a good place. He was boxing and getting fit. We loved our life together, just me and him. He went into hospital with pneumonia. Three weeks later he was dead with aggressive lung cancer. The last week of his life was spent in an induced coma so couldnāt even say goodbye . Iām still in shock, i cant believe itās happened. How do I get over it, how do I spend the rest of my life longing for his smile, his lovely cuddles and humour? Im sending love and compassion to you all. You must go on this horrible, lonely journey on your own but please know that we all understand how hard it is xxxx
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I lost my beautiful daughter in November, she had a rare form of leukaemia. She went through hell during her treatment and had to battle obstacle after obstacle, didnt seem to get a break. She was starting a new treatment and then eventually would have a bone marrow transplant. She was in remission. 5 days into treatment she died, doctors dont know why. It was a shock to everyone, absolutely horrific. She had just turned 16. She was rushed to intensive care, we were there and it was horrendous. She died on her sisters birthday.
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Hi everyone, been so, so sad today. Miss my boy. Iām lonely now as he is not here, he was my world. I dont really know how to carry on, but somehow I do.
The sadness is there all the time, itās like a physical pain.
Im not sure how to navigate the rest of my life without him.
I wish I could join him but I have another son, too cruel.
I have begun to realise that there is no solution, only grief to be got through every day.
Please contact me if you are feeling low and need help.
Thank you for listening xxxxx
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I feel much the same, i cry every day xxx
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I was ok until I came home from workā¦ I just broke down. My chest aches and I look at my sonās photo and it hurts that I wonāt see him in real life again. This time last week was his funeral and I feel so empty. My other son is still at home but the house is so quiet. Heās lost his only sibling and heās hurting too. Heās the only reason I try to keep going.
I donāt want this feeling of dread when I wake each morning or to think about what should have been. Love and strength to you all x
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Bless you Anne. My beautiful girl was only 16, he sister turned 13 on the day she died. The last few hours in ITU will haunt me forever. How we get through it, god only knows but somehow we do. We are stronger than we think. Sending you lots of hugs
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It is so hard I am trying to be strong because my husband and my other adult children are devastated now our eldest son has died . He died on the 6th January I still canāt believe heās gone sometimes I think it was a nightmare but then I realise it wasent it really did happen on here you all understand how Iām feeling at least when I read all your messages I no Iām not on my own how I am feeling this pain like your heart has been ripped out like you will never stop crying ever or feel normal changed for ever by the grief we feel at are loss l send my love to you all and hope one day we can find some kind of peace x
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Love to you Lizz. I was sleeping this morning and i felt someone kissing my head, i opened my eyes thinking it was my youngest and there was no one there. I swear it was my beautiful girl. Has anyone else had feelings like this ?
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It must be a comfort to you to feel your daughter close to you I donāt believe they ever truly leave us the ones we love I dream of my son quite often the other night I dreamt that my husband and I were at the beach with our 5 children but they were all the same age about 3 years old it was a strange dream they were all running round playing then my eldest son walked over to me and said Iām here mum Iām here it gave me comfort that day like he was telling me heās ok maybe thatās your daughter telling you sheās ok we donāt no the power of our love even in death do we
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Sending love to all the grieving parents on here. I understand how you feel. Everyday is hard so be proud of yourselves for getting up and trying, even if you just did a little something, I understand how hard that little something was and will be tomorrow and the day afterā¦ā¦
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Yes you are right every bit of progress you make is something to be proud of I went out the house to walk the dogs a few days ago the first time since my son died and it felt like Iād run a marathon such an achievement it is so hard I truly understand how you all feel at first I was angry why me why did my son have to die but now on this forum itās made me see how much suffering there is and I should think myself lucky to of had my son for 47 years when so many of you have lost there children so much younger so you are right every thing we do in our grief is an achievement I hope you are all finding ways to cope love to you all
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I am not a religious person but i believe there is something after, there has to be. There is no way she was only here for 16 years. We are not able to understand what there is after, we cant, we are merely human, but it gives me comfort to think there is something. I know one day i will see her again, i have to believe that xxxx
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Hi. I have gone through a, similar loss. It was, my son, and he was 5 months old.
So I really do understand how you are feeling. If I can help you in any way. Please donāt hesitate to contact me.
It would have been his 20th birthday in March.
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