My wife of 45 years died 5 months ago, she died in the bath and I found her, despite my attempts to revive her I failed.
I cannot believe that my beloved gets taken away by the coroners van and you are left with no help.
Mornings are the worst when I realise that she has gone.
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I am so sorry for your loss.
I lost my husband 12 weeks ago today after suffering a cardiac arrest. I was with him and did CPR.
Mornings are hard. Waking up and realising it all over again.
I hope you have some family/friend support around you.
I have found this forum a support as it’s a comfort to read that others understand and feel what you are feeling. Hopefully you will find it helps you too. Take care x
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Thanks for your reply, when our people go we lose the people that totally know and understand us like no one else. In my case ,without her, my home has become a building where I just survive day to day but filled with memorys and reminders of my girl.
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Exactly how I feel right now.lost my gorgeous fantastic wife sue on 1st February this year.even though my daughter and stepson dave family are keeping me going i just feel so lost and want to give up but i made a promise to sue that I would carry on being the person she made me into.just feel like it let sue down at times
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@Martyn2 @bootsie @Lou33 . I understood totally. Its been 11 weeks since we turned the life support of for my beautiful husband, Pete and 12 weeks since his cardiac arrest. It was sudden and shocking, unexpected and totally crushing. Ive had his birthday, our 47th wedding anniversary and today fathers day without him, but every day is difficult. I keep asking why?. I will never understand it. He was an organ donor to 4 people, who have now had a wnd chance at life. But i want him here with me. We met as teenagers and i do not understand life without his unconditional support. I paste on a smile, even put on make up sometimes and everyone says how well i am doing. I’m not. Sending love to everyone in this nightmare situation.
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It is totally unreal and unfair why these things happen and yes every day is so hard. I still have the feeling he will walk through the door at some point. It’s almost like having hope even though I know he never will. I know what you mean when people say you are doing well. I find I can’t keep saying how I feel over and over again as it hasn’t changed so I tend to say I am coping a bit better with day to day stuff. I think that gives the impression I am feeling a bit better but I am really not. Take care x
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I don’t want to do anything drastic but am not bothered if I don’t wake up in the morning, my whole outlook in life has changed, nothing matters any more,the worst thing that could happen to me has happened, what more can life do to me. I am not a person of faith, I wish I was, but if there is a god he is no friend of mine.
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@bootsie so sorry for your loss. It’s been 11 weeks since my husband passed away from cancer. Not sure how I would have got through it without this forum. It really has helped and hopefully can help you too. Take care
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One day at a time, get up in the morning and do the best you can, force yourself, when you feel strong, to confront your grief, at the moment, when I am having a bad day, I sort out her belongings when I’m having a less bad day I try to be “normal” whatever normal is in this mess.
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Normal has gone my friend…I cannot bear to touch my Sandies stuff…after 5 months…the wardrobe stays closed…for as long as it needs to…
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Don’t you have any children ?
I have a step son and 2 grand children in their twentys but they do not understand, in fact unless you are in this mess there in no understanding. I believe that if you put a brave face on people think that you’re ok, I am far from ok but people are busy living their lives and the loneliness is unbearable.
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I fully understand what u mean I lost my husband of 45yrs suddenly, he was fit n active non smoker seldom drank and he just lay down and died 11wks ago and it’s like a physical pain I have, there is a part of me missing and it’s difficult to seey life ahead without him, however I have 2 sons and 2 grandchildren and they still live their own lives but they are alsoy strength and support and that is what u must draw from, I see how affected they are by his death so I know I am loved and cared for by them and it would devastating to loose another, my has actually been diagnosed with PTSD from his dad’s death as he was giving him CPR. It’s really important to be there for each other 
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Your family are most important in all this,I have no family on my side but my wifes family are very good with me but I have to remember that they too are grieving, specially my wifes twin sister.
When things get really bad and I feel that I can’t go on i say to myself that
I have no choice.
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Exactly same with me ! Ive given a few football shirts to family members but i cant bear to get rid of his stuff … maybe not for a long time ! Its too hard and will break my heart xxx
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It’s been 20 weeks now since my Pam passed away and I am still crying every day it’s getting no better. I do believe in an afterlife as just before she passed she pointed to someone or something behind me as I was sitting by the bed. I turned around but couldn’t see anything. I am not very religious but she saw something beautiful. I now have no fear of death and just want to follow her so we can be together again. Our marriage was for over 53 years. Sorry for all the people suffering on here.
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5 months nearly isnt it ? Im 6 months into this and its still tough 
i miss him so much and as my bereavment counsellor admitted on friday … I’ve been dealt a s**t hand … xxxx
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…another Sunday of heartbreak…I hate Sundays…Sunday was the day she went…Sundays will never be the same…
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Aw bless you … xx
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@UnityMan I feel the same. Sunday when I lost my wonderful husband too.
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