Hi , need some advice please how do you all feel about decorating for Christmas it nearly 9 months in for me , have 4 young grandchildren do you think it is ok to put up Christmas tree don’t know how I feel about it tbh what’s your opinion on this Xx
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@Rugby Sorry for your loss. I lost my husband in September 2023. I will not celebrating Christmas or putting a tree up. I think you should do what feels right for you. There is no right or wrong way. Go with how feel. It will be a hard time anyway for most of us.
Sending you love. xx
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Thank you for advice really don’t know what I should do can’t seem to make decisions at the moment, so sorry for your loss take care x
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hi @Rugby so sorry for your loss!
it’s been 3 months today i lost my husband, we have 3 children youngest is 9, and so desperately wanted to put the tree up.
i would of happily not even acknowledged xmas personally but i know their dad would want me to try and make it as special as i can… there is no right/wrong and i think you just have to do what you feel is best for you all xx
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@Rugby It is 9 weeks since I lost my husband. Every year he loved putting the Tree up with the grandchildren so my granddaughter put the tree up for me as he would have loved it.
It also brings back happy memories for my grandchildren of the times they spent with their grandad whom they adored.
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Well for children xmas needs a tree they won’t be thinking as deep as us. It’s only been 3 months god me, so I’m doing a few bits but not a tree, I’m going to tell my grandkids that my tree had broken. But next year I’ll be back to it all I’m imagining
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I lost my mum in july i wanted to go out for xmas but my dad said he wanted to cook since looseing my mum i get so upset when i go down to the house so to christmas dinner is going to be a big struggle for me i wont be putting any decorations up this year its never going to be the same ever again 
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@Rugby I’m similar to you in that it’s 8 months since my husband passed away. I also have 4 grandchildren. Christmas was normally a big thing for us with events, family get togethers and lots of decorations inside & out. I know my husband would want me to carry on and enjoy all the things we normally did but I’m finding it too difficult. I have decided to do things differently this year to avoid too many painful triggers. I have bought a tree and will decorate that for the grandchildren as I know they wouldn’t understand if I didn’t do anything. I will try to enjoy Christmas with my family but it will be a different Christmas from normal. There is no right or wrong but hopefully this helps.
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Thank you all for your advice and kind words , think I made decision and will put up the tree with grandchildren to help me love to you all 
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Early days for me as my wife passed away only 2 weeks ago- she adored Christmas and I can almost hear her singing carols and nagging me to start decorating the house!
Her funeral is 11/12 but the weekend after I’m going to be blitz it and make her proud. She would open a bottle of Baileys and put the music on so will do that in her memory ready for the grandchildren! Perhaps have them and my daughter come over and help and then order pizza.
Your grandchildren need you too and they’re amazing- …. my own grandson (7) was so happy when I went to watch him play football for the first time last weekend and his baby sister is 17 months and so precious!
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I totally agree, there is no right or wrong way we each have to find our own path. I will be sparing a thought for everyone!
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My darling died on the 21st of December last year. She was just the most amazingly brave and dignified patient as we cared for her til she took her last breath.
She watched me put up our small tree of lights and her eyes sparkled.
She had a brain tumour, could no longer move or speak and said everything with her eyes.
I will put up that tree and the white one she loved so, but it is going to be so tough and painful.
We miss her so. She was our touchstone.
She would want me to do it for the children, grandchild and great grandchild she thankfully got to hold.
We were together for over 40 years and I am in no less pain now than on that awful night she left us.
I have been managing a little better, can put on a brave face and have a laugh, but I am so broken.
Thank you to all those who can articulate how we feel at this time of year and can offer supporting words to a fellow pained traveler on this awful awful journey…….
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Big hug to you, you can do this
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I’ve put our tree up, it’s 11 months on the 3 rd Dec that my wonderful husband passed and I felt he would have wanted me to he would have said don’t stay in the dark this is not what I wanted for you, I’m still no further on perhaps it’s cause I don’t want to move forward I really don’t know anyway we both loved Christmas so this is for him we all have to do whatever we feel is best x
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Hun do the best u can its so so tragic just take it easy do a little the kids will love it …take care
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Im just putting the tree up and nothing.else 
and only reason im doing that is because it was the tree i bought my husband nearly a year ago because he was getting poorly then and he loved to watch the tree 
it makes me so sad just thinking about it ! Jeez life is so crap for us all isnt it ;( i dunno why this happened to me /us … its not fair … i miss having a husband so much xx
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@debs I am not doing much . I am getting candles with sentiments about him and I will make a little display for him . I can’t get in loft anyway where everything is . You have a grandchild so it’s right to do it
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It’ll be 9 months on Christmas Eve since my beloved died. Our tree is going up as soon as my son has time to go up into the loft to bring everything down. John loved Christmas - he was always like a big kid about it - so we’ve agreed as a family to try and celebrate it as he would want us to. We will eat, drink and try to be merry, and honour his memory as best we can
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Same here Debs tears in my eyes just writing this 
why us x
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