I feel about Xmas decorations that I just go through motions in case kids come and my son likes to see them.
Mostly on my own guess would feel more miserable nine at all.
Last Xmas without my husband just me and my autistic adult son. I got artificial trees down from loft struggled so afterwards shoved them as they were in half my husband’s wardrobe and decks in boxes under bed.
Not going up in the loft again.
This year less enthusiastic than ever. But only got choc hang ups for tree so far for kids and Xmas crackers which I refilled with things inside as boring. I can’t have any enthusiasm at all.
I will. Get out old wreaths and tart them up again. Pick bits holly. I went to a Xmas craft workshop yesterday and we made home made decorations and had cake with lot older people like me run by the local girls public school using us for their Duke Edinburgh award. They provided lots stock I guess only ones these days with funds but it was refreshing to talk to them as have no daughter. Nice to see other people still around from years ago. Someone said to me I should live my fairy tale so unrealistic. I am trying to keep my feet warm in this cold weather. I will poddle down to my husband’s grave and rehash it to look Xmas y with bit holly and few bright red things. Will look at lights.
My wife passed away 14 November, her funeral is 11 December, we thought we had more time together but that wasn’t to be.
She loved everything about Christmas and I will decorate the house as we would always do just as she would have loved for her and for our two local grandchildren and I’m sure it will lift my own spirit’s too. My beautiful grandson is 7 and his baby sister is just 18 months and they are so precious
I had resigned and retired from work as of 21/12 to spend more time with her but will retire regardless but first to cope with Christmas
I’m sure I I will have good days and hard days and I have to learn how to enjoy the good times and cope with the others.
———-
My mantra for coping is taken from the following poem
Hallowed Ground - Thomas Campbell
To live in hearts we leave behind Is not to die.
Perfect that’s so true x
I know i have gotta get into my loft too ! That will be fun ! Got those pull down ladders. My husband always did that !!! I hate them - always scared they gonna fall in top of me 
X
OMG cancer has ruined so many lives ,your lovely wife and my late wife and ex wife both succumed to cancer ,23 years with the first and 32 with the second.All alone now ,memories yes but no relief ,pain,suffering every day,78 and clinging on ,lost 2 beautiful women from my life.My Son tragically killed in a road accident when he was 28 and a Daughter in prison after she went off the rails with drugs and crime.My life in ruins. Michael xx
I know its not fair is it xxx
@Deb5 i am waiting for my neighbour to put a loft ladder in . My husband. Used to stand on top of the handle of some steps and pull himself up . I cant risk that . I need a case out at least x
Have you talked to the children parents they might be able to help you depending on how old they maybe you could explain to them in simple terms that you our missing your partner and alittle sad you could do 1 room with decorative items keep it simple
Yes it is a roller coaster of emotions older you get and lots gone.
For half a day today it was all go.
Like old times. Suddenly football was cancelled because of frost so quick get my skates on push out my lethargy. They are coming here instead.
Somehow me and my autistic adult son got the loos cleaned, kitchen ship shape, tidied, hoovered, sanitised and craft activity in place. No time for me to smarten up so glad no snaps of me. Three grandsons engrossed for a bit then quick get lunch on ready.
I had quickly decorated cakes. I was back on auto pilot like the old days. All bustle and action. Then time to go and then I’m left to clean up. Silence. Back to quiet. Just me and my thoughts. I write my diary. Life goes on. I must try to find my clothes to wear to spruce myself up. Cut my hair and do a dummy run ready for looking as best as I can.
Otherwise I will feel worse. Think of all other folk in same boat doing same as me. All alone in our own little boxes.
All missing our old life trying to make the best of it.
There is no right or wrong for christmas. I lost my husband in March after being together 38 years, the love of my life.
I didnt want to live and as for christmas that was never going to happen.
I am so alone and I hate my life but i have to carry on and live my life for both of us.
I have forced myself to put the tree up and I am glad I have but Christmas on my own will be horrible. Thank you for your post and I’m sending love and best wishes to everyone xx
Same here my husband died January never saw it coming completely out of the blue it would have been 38 years come Christmas Eve I’ve put a tree up and a few lights just to be like everyone else on our street, keep thinking I’m going to wake up Christmas morning and he’s not going to be here 
It’s one I can relate to and hopefully will help me to come to terms with her passing
My hubby died sept 2019 and I also was unsure about decs BUT my hubby loved Christmas and the lights etc so I did it for him and our 9 grandchildren too . I still
Do as I too love the lights and the candles etc . His birthday is Boxing Day so a lovely way to remember him with so much thankfulness really 
My wife Jen died in June of this year. We came together as a family and discussed how we’d move through Christmas. It’s a difficult one as Jen was always “mother Christmas”
We decided that we couldn’t sit round our family table with silly hats on and stuff. It just wouldn’t have worked for us.
Our youngest daughter (38) said that we should go out for lunch, our eldest (40) said Christmas dinner would never compare to her mums.
The solution; we’ve booked a table for 9 at a local Turkish restaurant… I’ll let you know how it goes 
That sounds like a great plan and pleased you have all come together to make a family decision. Hope that all goes well for you
I’m not putting a tree up or sitting at the table this year . It’s 9 months for me & cannot sit at the table without Bry. I’m doing a carvery style Xmas dinner for the kids & making the table all about them this year with crackers & daft games . Xxxx
Yes the old life ,gone for good now,been a widower since 27th September 2021 due to my darling wife losing her battle with stage 4 bladder cancer.My life in ruins ,just going throught the motions each day now.Nearly 79 and extremely lonely now,see a few people now and again but it is my wife I need . Michael xx
That’s lovely I’m sure he’s looking down on you and smiling glad you’re putting your lights up for him
I’ve done it too for my hubby and grandchildren I’m sure they would want us to be happy 
I wasn’t going to bother with decorations this year. Lost my husband suddenly in May, we were together 42 years and I’m still so sad. However, my 7 year old grandson asked where my tree was and I’ve had a rethink. I put it up this morning and I’m so glad I did. I’m not doing the rest of the house but the tree lights look lovely and it makes the room cosy. It’s hubby’s birthday on Thursday, the first one without him 
I’m going to take a leaf from @Susan71 and remember him with thankfulness for the wonderful years we had together
@Lin22 et al
I’m sure our loved ones are watching over us
My beautiful wife always loved everything about Christmas and was busy shopping for presents, decorating the house and baking for 5,000.
Her funeral is Monday 11/12 so the following weekend we are having an afternoon to set the decorations and the tree up as she would have done especially important for the grandchildren and to carry on Christmas family tradition in her honour with just a few small changes