Hope it goes well for you monday. Yeh you do what you think would make her happy. Do you think theyre watching over us - i hope so xx
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I’m not a religious person but my wife had her Christian faith to comfort her- I believe she got the UP elevator and is looking down over her friends and loved ones !
She would want the tree and decorations up especially for the grandchildren and the Christmas holidays to continue !
I wish the timing was better but we will get there
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I generally believe Bry is . Not really had signs as such . The only thing that has happened since he left is a smell of aftershave when I have a cigarette. It last 1/2 puffs then goes 
I feel he’s listening to lots I’m saying at the minute apart from the kids ( still not speaking ) which is breaking my heart . I understand points on both sides but for me, after what happened to their Dad , surely they should realise life is just too short !! 
xx
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Hi Deb5, ues it is so painful and makes me feel lost if that makes any sense at all. You’ve done great with the tree. My husband was always in charge of putting the tree up, he always seemed to make a good job - far better than my past efforts. I gave our tree to charity as i know i couldn’t stand the thought of putting that tree up without him there to tell me the lights weren’t evenly spaced 
or somethong along those lines. I bought a lovely ceramic tree with bulbs in - its very pretty - i think he would have liked it. I still love Christmas music and Christmas lights, but my heart just isn’t in it - i think it’s because i used to love christmas with my hubby and now he’s not thete for me to fuss over.
I feel it’s such a different world since i lost my Richard in August 23 - i hope the pain lessens in time for us all. Xx
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I don’t think kids do get it @PollyjaneW . My eldest and youngest are back to being a pain in bum. My eldest said some horrible things to me and i think my son is in denial ! I said about a month ago i missed his dad and hes not spoken to me since ! Only one who acts anything like normal is my middle daughter xxx
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Yeh makes me feel lost too 
i hate this "independent " life ! It bloody sucks and youre do tight its a completely different life ! Im just gonna do lots of self care ! I dont care what other people think ! Im just looking after myself ! Sounds awful i know - but its self preservation isnt it ? X
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Hello I lost my wife just over 5 months ago. She died of lung cancer and she died at home. We had been together 26 years and i had to leave the house we loved as I couldn’t live there anymore as she was the heart of it. I now live on my own in a flat it’s so hard and I feel guilty for leaving our home. I cared for my wife towards the end of her life the best I could I love her and miss her so much.
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I guess it all depends on the age of the children, my daughters are both adults with their own children. Nanny was the biggest child at Christmas and loved spoiling everyone especially the grandchildren.
I was 8 (1972) when my dad died, my world imploded but I still had my Nan, my siblings and my mum. All of us had lost someone very special and we were all hurting.
It was the most painful experience of my childhood losing and I’m sure it’s the same for us all
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So sorry for your loss Bailey. So brave moving too. She’ll be with you wherever you are…….be kind to yourself, it is still such early days for you. This community if such a support to us all. Take care
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I stayed in our home and i dunno qhat is best tbh as lots of memories here and also i find it painful seeing people who knew my husband … its hard whatever you do i suppose xxx
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I’m sure they are with us, it’s our love for them that will get us through this awful time, we will never be the same person granted but I don’t want to be, one day we will be together forever x
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My wife had been poorly quite a while and our last holiday to Austria was 2019 when we thought we were just dealing with Parkinson’s.
She asked me to put her into Sue Ryder (Thorpe Hall) hospice for respite and visit our daughter in Canada but I declined because I couldn’t leave her in case she deteriorated while I was away. She just felt guilty about that so I have booked to visit our daughter in Canada 
in March.
It’s a question of rebuilding some aspects of my life which I know she would want me to do
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Thank you for your kind response I’m sure she would of understood what had to do it wsa the hardest decision ive ever made
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Yeh … im sure they would want us to have some sort of life and happiness. Have a fab trip to canada - it will be so lovely to see your daughter xx
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@J1022 That sounds like a great idea for family to get together, start new traditions if the old ones are too painful but good that you’re doing it together!
Your wife would want that I have no doubt ! Pull a cracker in her honour and raise a glass but do your family Christmas
I wish you well
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I have been feeling the same way, as lost my Dad last year on 29/12 so don’t feel like decorating with Christmas things and feel deflated about celebrating, but then my husband reminded me that my Dad would not have wanted that for me, how much he loved me and wanted me to be happy, so I agreed to have them up and we did it together and got a special memorial bauble to put on, brought a candle to light for him etc shared memories had and had a cry and now I don’t feel bad they are up, hope that helps as I understand why you feel that way
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It’s always good to hear different experiences and perspectives all of which are equally valid and important!
My own view aligns with your own, ie that my wife would not have wanted her passing to devastate Christmas especially as we have young grandchildren.
We will decorate the tree and house next weekend after her funeral and remember her with love and I’m sure that pulling together for their sake will help us all
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Yes a good idea to find a special something to remember our loved ones on tree.
Reminds me of memorial trees at the xmas tree festival. Could hang hearts with messages
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I bought two Christmas baubles from Amazon with the words I have an Angel in heaven -I call him dad, inside are white feathers, I bought for my daughters they are now on there Christmas tree x
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