So sorry I lost my partner 4 and a half months ago to brain cancer. It was inoperable and couldnāt have any chemo. My world was turned upside down. His wish was to be home with me and the children. I looked after him the whole time not leaving house for about 3 months he was 55 and fit and healthy. Life is so unfair I miss him every single day 
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Sorry for your loss sending a big hug.x
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Thank you Iām back to work now which has helped me to get up and dressed in the morning x
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I know what you mean but I feel like I put on a mask to go to work. Saying that though if I donāt go to work I wonāt see a soul all day.x
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So distressing my mum fidgeted a lot with her syringe in at one point she screemed out your hurting meā¦ when I asked the nurse to give her more morphine eventually she calmed downā¦
sending the biggest hug
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Its been a nightmare. I was called in at 3am. Nick had laboured breathing. They thought he was passing away, but actually he was in pain! His tumour is growing and the dosage isnt high enough. So he has to have PRN every 2 hours too as a top up!
The macmillan nurse is coming tomorrow to hire his steroids too.
Into the syringe driver.
Im watching him tonight. Im drained but cant leave him 
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Iām so so sorry Iām praying for peace for Nick and strength for youā¦ he knows your there loving him x
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Oh godā¦ higher not hire!! Im so tired.
Thank you for your lovely message x
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When Nick was strugglingā¦ groaning and throwing his arms upā¦ he shouted mum, for his mum who passed away 20yrs ago.
I dont think i will ever get over thisā¦ its so traumatic
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Hes 54 with a good heart so i dont know how long it will go on for 
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Life is very unfair at times, it must be devastating to be on your journey, I am sending you love light and the strength to bear this.Your lovely man knows you are there and doing your very best for him. Take great care of yourself x
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Thank you so much x
Nicks had pain relief every 2 hours since 9pm and he has remained sleeping.
Hes peaceful 
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It wonāt be easy but believe me you wonāt dwell on those times eventually all the good memories will outweigh the horrific times
My mum has been gone 15 years she passed at 62 she was a strong women but malignant melanoma took her away from meā¦at first I couldnāt get the image from my mind of her screaming out and crying whilst she was on her pump of morf she hung on for two weeks so I feel your pain and exhaustionā¦ why should our loves be put through thisā¦ half of me didnāt want to let go of my mumā¦ but the other half didnāt want to see her in pain sufferingā¦
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When my partner passed away few months back was the most traumatic thing I have ever gone through. All we want is peace for our loved one I was distraught but I was pleased that he wasnāt in anymore pain sending hugs to anyone going through this itās not easy to deal with x
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The medication in the syringe driver was increased today, so hes sleeping and peaceful.
Thank for your lovely messages
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Take care both x
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I hope you manage to get some
Rest
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I left the home at 10pm.
Its horrible not knowing when or what he will look like when hes passing away.
Im dreading it.
Still wishing his tumour was gone and he was back home.
The house is too quiet.
Ill try and sleep, go back at 8am.
Thank you x
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Mandy you must be exhausted, I cannot imagine how you are holding it together at this time.All I can send you is love and light and hope that all goes as well as it can for you. Sadly we cannot turn the clock back , we all would if we got the chance. Take care precious x
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Oh Mandy try not to think about it itās easier said than done I know my mums breathing was laboured when her time was ready the passing was calm when she took her last breadthā¦ Are you able to sleep over with him at the home ?
My mum passed at home but before that she was in a hospice and they did say I could stay over they would make a bed upā¦ Iām not sure if this would be a
Comfort to you or not sending hugs
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