We are all greiving on here. I cant wait to be reunited with my beautiful wife… what do we do, just wait? It could be years, i hope not, but how else can we be together?
I have the signs of her being with me but my life stopped and im just existing until we can be reunited. Help anyone???
It is very hard and I could have another 30 years. My husband at 53 years old died suddenly and unexpectedly. I don’t really know the answer as I am still in denial. I guess when you accept acceptance which could be many months then you move forward slowly step by step never forgetting your love one and trying to live with your grief. Hopefully she will be with you guilding you. Big hugs xx
Thank you, it’s all so very sad here. Its hard that we are going thtough so much. Im sorry for you too. At least our loved ones have not had to suffer this loss like we are. I would have hated to have gone first.
I just want to join her now, no point in anything
I feel the same John, 8 weeks in. How long for you?
John, I am sorry but there really isn’t anything we can do but live each day as it comes the best way we can. I lost my dear husband eight months ago and the pain is still acute a lot of the time as it was at the beginning.
I have been to see my granddaughter performing in a ballet this afternoon. I was with her parents and it was so emotional watching her without my husband who would have been so proud. I managed to stay calm but when we went out, I sobbed in a corner of the foyer. My daughter-in-law was great and I eventually retained my composure.
I am back home now alone wondering what is going to happen to me, there is this large hole in my life I will never fill. It is heartbreaking but we have to soldier on.
@Rome18 i went to the pub with friends earlier and didn’t stay very long. It was an overwhelming moment, they were all saying are you ok, but I just needed to get home. Cried all the way home and then I’ve just had a hot bath and sobbed, I’ve not stopped. I want him back here with me, this is so hard.
Im sure ill be like you, its 6 weeks for me now, and i really cant see any improvement. It feels like a very bad nightmare and Jackie will be back. I say to myself shes watching and waiting too. The only place i can have any comfort is in bed in the dark. I feel closest there. We have a motorhome, i went inside today for the first time, i flooded, its full of her thibgs ready for our next adventure, even tins of fish she likes and clothes… im so very very sad too.
Its no good me saying i hope you feel better this evening or even soon, because i know i wont.
We have a large house and im just living in the kitchen and bedroom, i cant watch TV or use other rooms its all too sad.
I believe if there are signs shes is there , she is there to help you.
Thank you, i looked back on my wifes watsap and her next to last message to me was “Be patient, as I know you are” i hadnt seen that because we were always so close to each other that we didnt need watsap
We all have unity in our grief thats all i can say.
Take care and you feel as i and others do, im sure he will be with you
…early days mate…I remember them well…it doesn’t get better…I’m 7 months in now …but I panic less…guess that’s progress…not touched anything of my Sandies stuff…just one day at a time… still…that’s what you gotta do…
You all seem to be in the early stages of your losses. The beginning of our journey is very raw and painful, consuming most of your day and thoughts.
Our journeys are unique to us all. We have different stories and situations which does impact how we deal with the aftermath of our loss.
I’m 7 months on this journey. My man died suddenly and unexpectedly at 49 while out on a bike ride. We had 16 years together, which seems nothing compared to some of you but he was the love of my life.
I accept that he’s is not coming home and I will never have him in my life again. I accept that I have many years to live, unfortunately. I am responsible for the life I chose to have left.
I do now have a life I can enjoy, I still cry every day but it’s not the raw, all consuming pain at the beginning. I can get on and do things. In the last few weeks I have managed to donate some of his clothes but the ones that he wrote all the time, I have kept, they hold a lot of memories.
For me, I’m getting through each day and living. Just like he would want me to and just as I would expect him to if the roles were reversed.
I know it’s different for everyone and I really hope you all find life a little bit easier soon x
Thank you so much for taking the time to answer and feedback.
@John1066 take.it an hour at a time. I know its really sad and devastating honestly i do ! Everything reminds you of them and what you have lost. Lots of self care !!! And those first few months are the worst. It will very slowly get a bit easier but don’t torture.yourself. only do small things at a time - baby steps xx
I’m 44 could be another 44
Oh John. You sound just the same as me. 7 weeks since I lost him. A month since the funeral. I have a huge house. I use one room. I sit on the same side of the sofa. His chair is untouched. I haven’t slept on his side of the bed. His book, glasses and watch are still on his bedside table. His dressing gown still hangs in the bathroom. I have been going through paperwork and shredding old records. Every credit card receipt reminds me of what we were doing before his diagnosis.
I too have been shredding paperwork and every page reminds me of things we’ll never do again. It’s 14 weeks for me and I still haven’t sorted his clothes, that’s for another time.
However, the grandchildren came over today and we walked to the local play park which is something my husband and I always did but for the first time I didn’t break down at the memory. It was still sad that he won’t ever be with us again but it wasn’t the awful raw grief as before. I’m not saying I’ve turned a corner but I saw a tiny glimpse of how it might not always be so overwhelmingly sad
Sam
I hope you have turned a corner and I hope I do too and don’t have to wait too long. It is unbearable at the moment.
I will never “get over “ losing him and although I know there is a life after grief I just don’t know what that looks like yet or how to get there. I just know it’s the first day it hasn’t been all consuming.
I really hope you have days like that too
Hi - I’m so sorry for all of your losses my heart goes out to you.
I lost my partner very young we were in our twenties and we had a young son. I’m nearly 12 years in now and it does get easier. I always miss him, I’m sad at everything that he has missed and I think of him every day.
For me the first few years were a fog but as time went on the pain doesn’t dull but you can cope with it. I started enjoying some things in life again, and you do get used to your new normal, although it changes you forever.
Of course everyone grieves differently but as someone who is quite a way down my journey just wanted to give you all a tiny bit of hope that it does get easier xx