I am 56 and lost my wonderful husband 6 weeks ago. He had been unwell but his death was totally unexpected. He was Italian, and I left his side for just an hour whilst he had a siesta.
When I returned to our bedroom an hour later it was clear he was dying. I am guilt riddled that I left him / that I didn’t go back in time to save him / that he may have been aware and afraid and alone. The guilt is killing me. The pictures and sounds haunt me. I know that some of the thoughts running through my mind are ridiculous - but I can’t shake them.
I talk to a very small number of friends about some of my feelings. But I don’t want to overwhelm them. There is little they can actually do. This is my grief and pain and my battle to define my future.
I need to know if anyone found benefit in talking to a professional counsellor / therapist / psychiatrist - not sure which term is most appropriate.