Hi Dee64
Rant away as that is exactly how I feel!
X Julie
I hate mornings I feel traumatised, heart feels like it’s going to burst,I need my husband Steve so badly,what’s the use of living like this,it’s torture,why do such good men get taken away
Grief for me is like falling or being pushed down a deep well, The pain and loss is immense and you can’t control it after a while you think I have to move forward I have too, so you start to climb the well but you don’t get very far and you fall again and this time is deeper and you think to yourself what’s the point there’s nothing for me up there, everyone Has said there sorries and has got on where there life’s, And here I am still at the bottom of the well, wanting to stop feeling so bad all the time, how long does it take, just how long, my partner Michael died in December last year 2020 I saw him on a Sunday as normal, I didn’t see it coming I could have helped, and that’s what stops me from moving forward he was a severely diabetic, And was lackadaisical taking his sugars and ketones…. By the time we all realised oh I realised it was too late and I lost him, we were only together 12 years the love I felt for him I had been waiting all my life for it was immense when does it stop folks when does it stop…
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Les2
You have described it just as it is, trying to climb out of a deep dark well, wanting to reach the light at the top, to get back to how things used to be, but keep slipping back down, sometimes even deeper, so sorry for your loss, try not to beat yourself up over not seeing it coming, you are coming into a very emotionally difficult sage with the one year mark in sight, so be kind to yourself, I don’t think anyone can put a time on how long we suffer our grief, I personally think we will always feel it, but the intensity will hopefully change an we will beable to cope with it , incorporating it into our daily lives, it’s what our lives are now, accepting that is what helps the most. Bless you in your climb out of your well, don’t give up, you will reach the top, even if things look different. Hugs Chrissy3
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I know this feeling only too well, my wife passed away 3 months ago and every day i keep thinking i will wake up and she will be here with me, then the reality kicks in again, my heart aches so much, i think of her constantly and cry a lot, grief for the loss of a soul mate is just so hard to bare sometimes and i never thought that i would be in the same state of mind for this long, i was wrong, i think this feeling will stay with me for as long as i live, there will be good days and bad days and i suppose it’s just something we have to learn to accept and live with.
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Hi TonyEi1960
My wife passed away on Christmas Day and there is never a day passes that I don’t look over to her chair for encouragement when down or a knowing smile when I’ve done something silly. I don’t cry as often but when I do it hurts like hell and there is nothing can stop me till it’s run it’s course. My grief is personal and deep and I don’t expect others to feel my pain unless, like you and others on this site, they have lost a wife, husband or partner. I still pull out 2 cups when I go to make a brew and that will never stop because I am always thinking of her. The pain has eased in time for me but not gone away, it never will.Enjoy the good days and don’t feel guilty if some small thing makes you happy. The bad days will become less but still the odd one will trip you up. Be strong and try to do what your wife would have wanted you to do - get on with your life but in your own time.
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Thank you for replying, the pain in my heart is still raw as it’s only been 3 months since my Eileen passed, people tell me things will get better and in my heart, I know they probably will, I find the hardest thing is trying to get people to understand how heavy my heart feels, people tend to have good intentions when they talk to me and I know they are trying to help, but, because they have never been through this awful experience I feel they will never truly understand the feeling of dread at the loss of a life partner.
Christine, I know exactly what you are feeling, losing loved ones is painful enough, but, to lose your life partner is truly the hardest to bear, the pain is beyond anything you could possibly imagine, they say time is a great healer and I suppose only time will tell, but right now the sense of loss and despair is overwhelming.
Hi Tony,the loss ofmy husband Steve has overwhelmed me it’s all consuming,my heart is broken,miss him so much,never expected this to happen we had plans,funeral is on Tuesday I still can’t believe this has happened
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Christine, what can i say? the funeral will be tough (It was for me) the service, the cremation ceremony, but one thing i was happy we did as a family was to make the wake a celebration of my Eileen’s life, we laughed at memories we had, we sang, we danced and it was a great feeling of having family and friends all join in with me, i hope all goes well for you and that your pain will ease, it’s tough, i know, i still have rough days when i feel i can’t cope, i talk to Eileen, i kiss her photo every day, i say good morning to her when i wake and somehow it helps me because i feel her spirit is still with me, take your time, cry when you need to, smile when you have a happy thought, but, most of all, be kind to yourself x
Thank you Tony,just hope we do him proud he has so many friends x
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Christine, i’m sure you will, stay strong, sending love and best wishes x
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Another day to face without you,the heartache began as soon as I opened my eyes, I miss Steve so much can’t see the point of anything
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I feel for you Christine, I really do because I know how much it hurts X
Hi Christine
I will be thinking of you tomorrow and I’m sure you will do Steve proud.
Take care of yourself
Julie x
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TonyEi1960
No one will understand your loss until they experience it themselves. I have not yet found the magic solution to this grief but thank God every morning and again last thing at night. Hadn’t prayed for a long time but now I feel it helps and only God knows why it does. I’m not a religious person but have found some comfort in taking out loud to God and unloading my problems on Him and thanking Him when there is a solution, because I’m too thick sometimes to see this obvious, so as someone has to take the credit I guess it is Him. Take little steps in your road forward and don’t be discouraged at backward or sidesteps. Don’t feel guilty for any happiness you feel and take that as a bonus, Likewise don’t beat yourself up over any sadness you feel as it is an up and down time you are living through. Take care of yourself and live one day at a time.
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Thank you,reassuring words
I can relate to what you are saying so much. Like you I nursed my husband and was with him when he passed away, had the funeral and got is ashes but I still cannot believe it. Also, at present I can only remember when he was so ill I can’t really remember him before that not properly. Ot sure if others feel like this? 
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Hi yes I lost my lovely husband ten weeks ago and could only remember when he was ill until this last week when I am starting to remember him before and our life together it’s still so painful because every memory accentuates the loss even more but is exquisite in it’s pain because I loved so much and was loved so much in return, how lucky was I, I miss him so much but am starting to realise he’s not coming home so I listen every night to Tom o bedlam ‘if tomorrow starts without me’ which gives me comfort, or enya ‘if I could be where you are’ which always makes me cry and is so sad but it’s the road we are all on and follow it we must hugs xx
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Hi so sorry on losing your husband I lost mine suddenly last year he was 46,I thought I was the only one to feel the same, I’m always expecting to find him sitting on the sofa or just walking through the door it’s so horrible when the realisation hits you again and again that he’s never coming back I’m the same I have his ashes sitting on my shelf where I can see them
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