Anita
Sorry to hear of your loss. No words really describe the pain we all feel. For your son it must be totally devastating and so hard for him to understand.
I’m so glad you have joined this group purely because the support here is amazing. Just knowing you are not on your own really seems to help.
As you support your son, hopefully you will find you can lean on us .
Keep posting, it helps!!
Sending you a hug
Dee
Thankyou it’s nice to know I’m not on my own
It was 11 weeks today my husband passed away. A senseless death he died after hitting his head after suffering a seizure in hospital. The autopsy has come back saying he drank 1.5 litres of whisky a day. He never drank whisky in his life he hated spirits he did drink wine so I think they got it wrong.
The report made me furious. Another part of the catalog of errors that happened to him after being admitted to hospital.
The senseless death robbed me of my best friend. The pain is still unbearable. I don’t know how I get up in the morning. I feel so sad every day… When I go out alone to a restaurant or cafe people ask do I only want a table for one? Which of course I do I am then either invisible or ignored by everyone. The loneliness is never ending. When I am asked why I am alone? And I explain I hate the pity. I often feel I died 11 weeks ago too.
Karen, what an awful experience that must have been for you, my wife was diagnosed with cancer, they told us it was terminal but they offered treatment which may have given her more time, after having chemotherapy, radio, and immunotherapy treatment, she was always really ill after it, i often felt it was experimental on the doctors part, she was in and out of the hospital with infections and other complications and on one occasion in hospital she developed sepsis, on another she contracted covid while in an open ward, it was an absolute nightmare for us both, her treament was put on hold many times which really upset her because she felt she was being robbed of her life, i can’t fault the palliative care team her cared for her when she was dying they were amazing but i can’t say the same for the oncologist and the doctors who i feel let her down badly, it hurts me so much to think of her mental state as well as the pain she was in and can’t help feeling angry and let down.
Yes, my partner had a senseless death to Michael was severely diabetic we didn’t live together we were together but we saw each other every day for 13 years, he was my love , his son live with his dad a lazy good for nothing human being I saw Michael on this Sunday and Monday he said he wasn’t coming round he didn’t feel well we talked and Michael walk the dog on Monday when I was at work on the Tuesday l came out of work went round to his house and I knew that was a bad warning sign, but it was too late he had gone in a coma And his good for nothing son was snoring his head off next room, Michael had been sick for those last 2 days, I woke the Son up, dived upstairs but it was too late Michael was dying I rang an ambulance I lost him,
Dear Christine
I am so sorry I am writing this is so long after your post. I have only just found it! I am so sorry your husband died.
I was married for 54 years until my amazing, adored husband died last year. 16 months on and I still feel half the person I was. I tried to move on, in that i have been out with family etc but I come home and just feel so sad that he wasn’t there to enjoy it with me. He adored our children and grandchildren and resent the fact that he was taken away from them.
I believe that this grief is the price we pay for love, and we were so lucky to have so many years with them. That comforts me a bit, but I will never be able to enjoy anything ever again without being devastated that he isn’t here.
Sorry, I pressed send in error!
What I was going to say was that there is no cure for our grief. We have to put up with it, but we must try to make best of the time we have left, partly because our husbands can’t. People say that we have our memories, and we do, but they hurt because they can never be repeated.
My coping mechanism, such as it is, is to enjoy everything as much as possible because Tony would want that for me. I can’t bring him back, but I can honour his memory by living the best life I can. I hope you will be able to do the same. 16 weeks is not long, and you will learn to cope with the pain, although, I warn you, it never goes away.
Good luck. My thoughts are with you.
Best wishes,
Ann