Lost my beautiful Mum in March, we had the funeral for her the 5th April and now I find myself questioning life and it’s meaning. I get so overwhelmed with my own thoughts it simply feels too much. At first I was certain she was trying to send me signs but the more I look at it the more I think it was all in my head. I desperately started looking into mediums and even attended a spiritulist church in attempt of making a connection. I ended up leaving disappointed because I wasn’t chosen and also the medium kept getting things wrong resulting in me disbelieving even more and I just can’t bare to think my Mum is truly gone for good. I was hoping that it would give me some kind of comfort but it just broke my heart more. I have thought about trying again but my family put me off and get worried I’m losing the plot or something so them believing this also makes my disbelief stronger. I just don’t know what to do anymore and can’t believe I’m without a mother at 32 year old, i feel suffocated with the amount of grief I’m under 
this is normal. I did the same when I lost my mom. I can tell you a friend was at work and a colleague said to him, someone is waiting in your office sitting at your table. when the colleague told him the woman had red hair and a white long dress, he freaked. his mother had died and this was her hair and what she was buried in.
I had a few vague signs, the smell of flowers and perfume. loss and grief is also a spiritual journey.
counseling helped me a lot. as did grief support classes. most on here seek or sought signs.
Hi I’m so sorry for your loss.
Grief is so suffocating and what you are feeling is totally normal. All the emotions you expressed are how I felt and you are not losing the plot. You are coming to terms with the most devastating loss and that takes as long as it takes. It’s perfectly normal to question what happens when a loved one dies and ask where they are or is there life after death? What’s the meaning of life?
It causes all these things to come into sharp focus.
Part of my journey of acceptance of my Mum’s death was recognising that part of her lived in me. All her mannerisms and things she’d say, I could still hear in
my head! She had brought me up and I had been trained by her!! Remembering her and knowing her so well can still help me now, but as I remember and learn to live, she’s still with me.
I recognise that I was Mum’s legacy.
As are you.
You can continue what she started and all the pieces of life she gave you, you can give to others. (In time )
I totally understand why you would seek comfort and try to find her again through a medium or psychic
person.
The spiritual side of grief is personal for each person. There will be many questions you have. Dare I even suggest speaking to your local church? Worth a try as you’ve considered the other options and they haven’t brought you peace.
Please be kind to yourself. You are not alone and I hope that even the minutest part of what I have written brings a tiny ray of hope in this painful journey.
X
Thanks so much for your kind words. Deep down I know I won’t be this sad forever but it’s just so hard right now and I know I’ll always miss her. Always knew that I loved her but didn’t realise it was to this extent, I feel a piece of me left with her the day she went. We both had a similar sense of humor and I’ve definitely caught her stuborn side that’s for sure x
Good evening. I lost my mom just over two weeks ago. We are having to sort moms house out as we have to give it back to the housing association in three weeks just after moms funeral. I am finding this very hard. My husband says i am doing amazing and my mom would be proud of me. I am going through mixed emotions . I dont know how i will cope at moms funeral. Then after moms funeral we will leave her house never to return as we live about 3hrs away. Lofe is so hard at the moment. Im trying so hard to be strong.
I’ve recently had my mums funeral, you do get a sense of relief that they are finally put to rest afterwards and you know that you can finally start focusing on looking after yourself and grieving in peace cause all the planning and stuff really takes it out of you and you don’t have the right time to grieve whilst so much is happening. I lost my mother last month and I’m still as upset as i was the day I found out and know it’s going to be a long road to recovery but looking at posts on here shows that it does gradually get better over time. I feel like a piece of me died with her and that’s okay!
Sarah,
I feel for you so much, it’s all so raw and overwhelming.
How supportive and kind of your husband, you’re having to be strong in the face of so much pain. Is there any way you can box things up so that you don’t have to look at everything in one go? Just clearing the home is sad enough but going through each item must be the worst as you remember your dear Mum.
I’m glad you know your Mum would be proud of you.
As another person has already shared, once the funeral arrives and you can honour her life and begin to grieve for yourself, it does help. Give yourself permission to weep, cry, stop and drop in these days ahead. Talk or share as much as you need to or sit quietly in remembrance. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.
We’re here as you continue your journey of grief and will do all we can to support you. X
Hi Jess,
I’m so sorry for your loss.
I had some grief counselling after my Mum died in September 2021. I remember her saying that the grief changes but we always feel the loss. We learn to rebuild our lives around that loss.
There are days that it feels just like the day she died and there are days when I miss her so much all I can do is cry. There are days when I can live and honour her by living . Such a journey .
I now recognise when grief starts to creep on, in its intensity.
There are many helpful things to read. Some talk about stages of grief , I have recognised that those stages are not in order and not necessarily done with as you embrace each one. What I did find helpful was knowing It’s all perfectly normal.
Be gentle and kind to yourself on your journey. Grief can’t be fixed but you will get better at grieving and we grieve much because we loved much. Xx
@Sunshiney That’s a very useful post 
- thanks
Thanks again, I can’t shake off the feeling that I’m living in a nightmare that I can’t wake up from. I literally feel like I’m dreaming as well cause I feel like I’m in a constant state of brain fog if that makes sense. I honestly don’t know how I’m getting through the day and often wonder where the time has gone!
It’s actually really hard to fully express the feelings that I’m experiencing and I know for certain it’s making me very overwhlmed.
I have people to talk to but I often feel like I’m burdening them and when I talk to my grandma about how I’m feeling she accuses me of bringing everyone else down and thinking of myself, which hurts but she has also lost her daughter, I think it’s due to everyone having their own way of grieving that’s causing a bit of confliction so it’s quite difficult knowing how to deal with each other right now. I’ve always been the type of person to dwell and over think though.
@Jess1
Im so sorry to hear you’ve lost your mom.
I always say it hurts so much loosing my mom and I wish my mom loved me a bit less so the hurt isn’t as strong but then I’m privileged to have unconditional LOVE shown to me.
Your mom clearly Loved you because you’re feeling the pain that’s left behind not having her here.
But I truly believe their spirit is with us until we no longer need them by our side. (there is no time limit on this, they know when we are okay)
I have dreamt my mom 4 times and on all of these occasions I know she has passed away but I believe it’s the only way her spirit can communicate with me. And the attention to detail on her face is outstanding and her presence is soooo real, the cheeky comments she makes.
It’s amazing and I look forward to seeing her in my dreams.
Also… my sky box in my bedroom started to come on around 2-3am on odd days and this started to happen once my mom passed away. Maybe it’s a coincidence but idk.
Please don’t lose faith.
Have you dreamt your mom yet?
Funny you should say that.
Not long after hearing the devastating news, I dreamt that I got out of bed and walked downstairs to be greeted by a gentlemen I have never met or seen in my life stood in my kitchen, and he pointed towards my back door to tell me that she was waiting outside for me and when I went out the man disappeared and my Mum was stood waiting for me but looked sad and couldn’t seem to talk to me and I couldn’t talk to her either and I felt so frustrated by this. Then I woke up so confused! I did put the lack of communication down to it being all new to her if that makes sense. Since then I’ve not been able to dream of her even though I have been hoping and preying to see her again every night before I go to sleep, I feel so upset when I wake up again realising that I wasn’t able to see her and started doubting the dream I had with the man was even real and it was just my imagination playing up.
Also nearer the time I found out, my tv turned off randomly and another time it started acting odd but my other half just said that it was just a coincidence.
I just want a clear sign just to give me comfort in knowing that she lives on even if I can’t see her, I can’t bare the thought that there’s a chance that I’ll never see her again.
@Jess1
I can relate to this, as my Nan is also alive and she said
“No parent should have to bury their child”
This is very true!!! Remember Jess, our Grandparents are of a different era and they are more strict and old school so when it comes to emotions and talking about feelings some of the older generations simply cannot do this. (Not everyone but some or most)
Your Grandma is probably feeling worse than you think. I know my Nan has said that she’s ready for God to take her and that was at my moms funeral when she made that comment. My Nan is 87 and my mom was 65 when she died.
Idk it maybe guilt because older people should in theory die first but these days no one is guaranteed to live until they are 90.
I know without a doubt she is feeling very bad it’s just how she deals with it that worries me.
I don’t even want to think about losing her and for the first time I’m actually scared about when it’s her time now.
I always thought me and my Mum would be there for each other when the time came, it’s seriously messed up.
I don’t want to think that way right now, but I can’t help it. I want to make the most of the time I’ve got left with her not dwell on losing her to.
It’s also a big worry the amount of stress she’s under so I’m going to try my best not to mention my feelings as much to her cause I know it’s hurting her!
I’m glad that I found this website and can talk to other people who fully understand what I’m going through.
@Jess1
So… again this is just a my personal belief;
You dreamt about a man you’ve never met who told you your moms outside. I believe this dream was real. Or as real as it could be in seeing your mom.
Your mom will come to you when the TIME IS RIGHT. Not when you’re ready but when she’s ready but it sounds like you had a lot going on that time you saw her. Once you’re settled she’ll come to you, just make sure your Alarm is off haha.
As for the TV… let’s say it’s not a coincidence it cannot do any harm believing it a sign.
Personally, if you can stay away from mediums, that would be great, just because there are a lot of fakes out there. If you can find a real one then great, but trust in your dreams and also they are free.
I have two older brothers who were not coping at all with my moms death. Age 40 and 36 and they have only just dreamt about her in April, she died in November 2022 but she was able to have a conversation with them. Jess they said it made their week seeing her!!! Like this was the happiest they have been since she died. They were over the moon because I told them previously of my dreams and they believe what I believe
‘The Dreams are the gateway’
I wish schools educated us on death and what the expect, and how to try and deal with it because I feel completely blindsided.
It really says something when it made their week if you ask me.
I wish that to but it is really hard not knowing what to believe with all these different religions around.
My Grandad was in a few of my dreams not long before I lost my mum and I wonder if this was a sign. I had actually thought my memories of him was fading but in the dreams I remembered how he looked and sounded completely.
My Grandad died young also and I was a child at the time and I kid you not, he sat on the end of my bed the night he passed. To this day I believe that it was very real!
I just feel like I need her so much right now, I really miss her, this is the longest I’ve gone without hearing from her and it just doesn’t make sense to me at all.
I thought about seeing a medium due to people claiming to have seen one and the medium telling them something that only they would know, I guess it gave me a lot of hope.
I’m quite sensible though and I’m usually switched on to people trying to do me over, well I’d like to think so anyway lol
What I wouldn’t do for one last hug from her though
Hang on so they both dreamt of her? That’s crazy and also comforting x
Yes
So the 36yr old dreamt her on the Monday. And the 40Year old dreamt her on the Friday, he actually said he couldn’t remember their conversation but he told my mom off for not visiting him sooner but he just laughed and they talked. It’s weird hearing the happiness in their voices but I know the joy you feel after seeing your loved one.
Don’t get me wrong we still cry!!! But I mean we was crying like 5times a day. Now it’s like every other day. I’m telling you Holidays like Mother’s Day, Easter, birthdays that’s when your heart crushes.
My hardest time was when I picked up the phone to call my mom, I completely forgot she wasn’t here.
I guess mentally, reality can sometimes feel like it’s not real.
@Jess1
Yea I get it. We’ll never know 100% what the Afterlife is like until the time comes. But grief is so painful that you hope your loved one is either around in spirit or that you’ll see them one day because if the plan is to grow up and Love unconditionally and then to have that ripped away from you to cause pain. How is that life and how is that fair?
But you seeing your Granddad must have been speechless seeing him in detail all of those years. Wow.
I really hope you dream your mom soon. Please send me a message whenever you do. X
Oh I have already gone to pick up the phone to tell her things and then realised, goodness the pain is unbearable.
When and if I get a dream about her, I will be talking about it on here in the hope that I can help others who have been feeling the way I do.
I just feel in a horrible place right now but hope I can learn to cope with it but I know it’s changed me as a person as she took a piece of me with her but if that helps her make a connection with me then then so be it
I’ll continue to talk to her even if it looks like I’ve lost my marbles, I’ll never stop loving and missing her like crazy x