It’s the same for me my mum passed 3 weeks ago at 91. Only child and I feel lost, guilty, should I have done this or that. So hard to go in her bungalow without her being there. Now funeral is over, I just can’t seem to do anything and I’m 67!
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I lost my husband of 33years almost 3 years ago very suddenly and without any warning whatsoever ,this absolutely shook my world into pieces I had no time to prepare or say anything to him. Now there’s never a day goes by where at some point he’s in my thoughts ,as I’m driving, as I sit here alone in an evening, as I’m doing my housework , all the time he’s there in my thoughts I even find myself talking to him sometimes . He was my world , my rock ,my teacher he really was my everything and I’m absolutely lost without him . They time is a great healer but I personal don’t think it is but what time does is teaches us how to live without the thing we treasured the most take care and keep talking I find it does help xx
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I lost my dear husband 27 weeks ago and he is always in my thoughts; driving, shopping, cleaning, etc. I am always talking to him and saying how I love and miss him.
The pain of not having him with me is excruciating and is sometimes too much to bear, so I have to cry until I feel a little more calm.
We just have to take each day as it comes and try and keep sane,
It’s a long dark and bumpy road.
xx
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This resonates so much. I lost Mum in June and I think about her none stop and my mind goes to the thoughts and reality that I won’t see her again and it’s overwhelming . I wish I had some wise words for you , i don’t, just know you are not alone 
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Hi Charlotte,
Just wanted to get in touch to see how are you and how are you coping . Been thinking of you
Deborah x
Thank you for the lovely message. Today I was feeling very overwhelmed and came across this forum as sad as it is reading some posts it’s made me feel more at ease that what I’m feeling is normal x
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Hi Charlotte,
Aww Cahrlotte we are all going through the same emotions. My mum was almost 90 and I knew the day would come when she wouldn’t be here anymore but I sort of blocked it out of my mind because she was young at heart for 90 and overcame all illnesses thrown her way including lung cancer 4 yrs ago. I never thought that a simple blockage in her small intestiene would cause her death and it still hurts like Day one when she passed. Some days I just want to scream because it hurts so much. I saw her failing over the past year slowly with her mobility but still never thought she would die soon. She was such a fighter and such a lovely person. I honestly understand how it feels like to have that lovely daughter/mother bond. It was something I shall never experience again.
Like you my mind goes many times a day to the memories we had. Nothing comes close to the bond we shared. I feel utterly lost some days. Night times were worse for me in the beginning. Constant crying, feelings of not being able to breath and sheer exhaustion from everything.
I still have my mums house to sort out. I am finding it so hard to do but it has to be sold. I spent so much time there with mum looking after her that it is sheer torture looking through her things. I am tackling it just a bit at a time and only when i feel strong.
I will PM you
Deborah x
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It doesn’t matter what age a mum gets to it doesn’t hurt any less because they made it to a ‘ good age ‘ I’m dreading having to do her house it’s so very final . Im a grown woman but I feel like a child needing my mum & scared that she’s gone. I need a break from my own head x
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I feel exactly the same about my Mum, some how the world seems a much scarier place without my beautiful mum 
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Thats exactly how I feel. Just knowing I can’t phone her or drive to see her or tell her things. Its very scary and the overwhelming feeling of sadness and emptiness is awful.
Take your time Charlotte doing her house and wait until you are ready to change anything and only when you feel you really want to Keep everything as it is if that’s what makes you feel ok. No one can tell you what is best.
Deborah x
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Hi Jess,
I know how you feel. It’s so awful carrying on without our mums. From now on I feel we are starting new lives and will never be the same. I really want to be the same person but realise nothing will ever be the same again. I am scared of the future without her. She was my rock, my best friend, my everything.
Thinking of you
Deborah x
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I have never known pain like it! I am sorry you are in the same boat. We have definitely lost a big part of ourselves it is hard to imagine going back to our normal self.
I certainly took things for granted and regret that x
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Just keep moving forward one day at a time. One week at a time. It is so hard at times. I am making a little step onward. Miss her so much though. Was only May when she passed and sometimes seems like yesterday and at other times seems so long ago. xx
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Time feels crazy for me at the minute, feels like yesterday then feels like years ago it’s hard to explain x
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I definitely know the feeling. x
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I lost my partner 5 months ago and every minute of everyday I think of him. Every conversation I have during the day leads me to him, I talk about him all the time. I work from home too, during the day I will break day at least once or twice while I’m working. So it’s normal, we’re not going to go mad, although I certainly feel it 99% of the time at the minute! take care. xxx
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Hello
Everything said here resonates with me… I’m 6 months down the line from the sudden loss of my Mum. Every single day there’s something that brings back memories or thoughts about her. Last week when it was the 6th month anniversary I tortured myself with the details of her last day. Agony! I’ve changed as a person, lost joy in things that I used to do and decision making is impaired. I’m the Executor of the will and it’s horrible. I dread having to visit my Mum’s empty house while it sells. Every visit brings it all back with a fresh surge of emotion. This is one of the hardest times of my life. Sending love to you all facing this agony…xx
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Hi Rosiepink,
I am the same as you Its 7mths since my lovely mum passed away and its torture visiting her house. Memories galore and i always now feel so sad. I am the sole executor also so have done everything so far except put her house up for sale which I will have to do so Have just been putting it off to be honest. Nothing prepares us does it for doing all this The grief with her death was the worst thing I have ever experienced and now sorting her house is just about finishing me off. No one really understands the trauma involved in doing it
Am thinking about you and sending love
Deborah x
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Hi Deborah
The house sale has been really stressful as I have the ticking clock of a lifetime mortgage to repay. The house had to be cleared and on the market asap because there’s only one year from the date of the death to complete it. I’m literally gritting my teeth and willing for it to work out. The market is so difficult in this current climate. The sales chain has stumbled a few times already, now I’m hoping it will complete in the next couple of months…
I have to visit the house and do the garden. My Mum loved her garden so it’s just so emotional for me. No, I couldn’t have guessed how hard it would be, losing my Mum. Without her in the world I am not sure who I am anymore…
Best wishes xx
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Hi Rosiepink, Snap I know the feeling I have had council tax free for one year and that ends in Oct . Water rates free for 6mths also but luckily mum had some savings so i am using that to pay for utility bills etc. I really don’t want to sell the house but have to as I only visit now to check on it and its so painful going there without mum. I spend most of the time crying there. I am aiming to clear it by Oct and then put it up for sale so maybe it will sell by approx March next year. That is the kind of timescale I have in my head. Mum had such beautiful things like clothes , ornaments and crockery so its so so hard when sorting her little things.
The pain just hurts so much even after 7mths. I make mistakes over simple things bec my mind doesn’t seem to work anymore. I am emotionally up the creek all the time with tears always at the ready. It is literally going to take all my life to even start to get through this. I will never never be the same again even though I know a new life has begun for me. I close my eyes sometimes and wish with all my heart I have dreamt everything but of course i realise very quickly this is a nightmare unfolding and one I can’t escape from.
Keep in touch and sending a hug from Wales
Deborah x
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