Been doing ok lately then today i wake up really down and been crying all morning. Be 2 years next month and been thinking about that alot. Been looking at his photos and saying please come back i know this can’t happen. It never goes away this feeling of emptiness and utter loneliness is this my life now just feeling useless and unloved. No one cares about me like jim did he was everything and i was his world. Days like this i dont want to carry on . This is the worst thing im ever had to face and I’m exhausted .
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@Misprint, so sorry that you are feeling down again after starting to feel ok. Everything you say so is so true. It’s 28 weeks for me and I know in my heart that I will never get used to not having him with me, we had a wonderful life together.
Every single day is hard, the intensity of missing Richard gets worse because suddenly I can be reminded of yet another lovely thing he did or said, however small, I feel I am being punished but goodness knows why?
Please do not think you are useless, that’s not true and you are still loved by your husband, love never dies.
Best wishes xx
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I really do feel for you,like you I have been crying like a child all morning at the loss of my wife five weeks ago. Today is her birthday but she didn’t make it,I keep begging her to come back and it hurts to realise that she can’t.
I think when the consultant said 6 to 8 weeks I couldn’t have believed it,or taken it in but seven weeks in and she died and I don’t know what to do or how to cope.
I look at my wife’s photo’s and I can see now how deeply her fight against the cancer impacted on her,she was a beautiful,intelligent lady but this illness took her away from me,I still can’t believe it.
Sorry to ramble on as I started the comment saying that I do feel for you and I do,reading your comment really got home to me.
Please take care and try your hardest to survive as Jim would want you to do,he may not be there in person but I’m convinced his love for you will be.
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@miker, I am so sorry that you lost your beautiful wife. My husband, too, died from cancer and so many times during the day I look at his photograph, when he was so healthy and very fit, and then remember how evil C’ savaged his body. I will never forget the torment of see him deteriorate.
The pain of losing them never stops, nor does the crying.
Every day is a dark, lonely and hollow existence.
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Thank you for your reply i guess I’m just feeling sorry for myself. I know theres lots of other people feeling exactly like me and I’m sad for all thats going through this journey that no ones asked for. I must pull myself together and put all my energy into looking after our two little dogs they miss him too.
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You are entitled to feel sorry for yourself, I guess we all are.
xx
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Sorry for your loss . Thank you for your kind words. People here know what its like to lose our soulmates .i appreciate all the kind words I’m had over the years it does make me feel a bit better in myself although my self esteem is very low at the moment think its because its coming up to anniversary 12th August when he was taken away from me so cruelly i didnt get to say goodbye like i thought i would.
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@Rome18 @Misprint @miker
I am very sorry you are all suffering. No one else knows what it’s like to lose the love of your life . I have just had a conversation with a younger relative who has told me I must have healthy eating . I told him straight I couldn’t eat at all and it’s been too hard to eat here without him. He doesn’t understand the magnitude of my loss
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Hi Misprint - I know exactly how you are feeling, it is total hell isn’t it. 2 years for me too 5th August, cannot believe I have managed to live 2 years without him. So cruel. He was the love of my life for 32 years & he still is, a big strong man before the C got to him. Sometimes I wish we had not loved each other so much. We did everything together, our lives revolved around each other. Crying as I type this. I would not have carried on if it had not been for my mum, we lost my dad 15 months before my husband. She has literally kept me alive. She is 81 and a total force of nature. Dreading next week, but she will be with me, keeping me going. You are right that this feeling of emptiness & loneliness is horrible, but you keep going somehow. Happy to chat to you if you want. Take care, Alison xx 
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Every single comment above and including yours makes me feel as though I wrote them,every feeling and every bit of pain is everything that I am left with and it’s clearly the same for all of us.
Take care,it’s all I can say because I don’t have any useful advice or answers,I wish that I did.
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Hi miker - none of us have the answers, that is why we are on this site. We just struggle through this hell we are left with & do the best we can. But at least people on this site understand what we are going through & do not judge us. We are all in a club that no-one ever wants to be in. It helps a bit to realise that other people feel the same as us & that we are not going mad. xx
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@warriner21 @miker, it has most certainly helped me joining this forum and reading all the comments and support. I lost my dear husband 28 weeks ago, and the thoughts I had, really made me think I was going mad … the continuous tears, not wanting the radio on, only watching old tv quiz games, etc.
We are on a lonely and dark journey. I miss the warmth and closeness of my husband, and the way it could be just us two, and now I am alone and totally miserable and desperately missing him.
When I think of our wonderful life together, I cannot believe that I will feel any different however long I live. I do go out and try and live some sort of existence but it is very difficult,
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Although we will probably never meet I feel as though I have come to know some of the regular posters on this sight. We all have a special bond. One that we wish we didn’t have but gives us support
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Totally agree with your comments.
I am having a really bad day today, 2 years ago it was the last night my darling husband ever spent in our home.
xx
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You,have just described me I m glad there’s someone else
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You decided to stay ragdoll
I’m really upset you ll just have to put up with me being vile i will get thrown off this site eventually. Are you ok
As good as I am recently. Cry every day but at least not all day today.
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Am i daft i listen to Seether and Alice Cooper and rock band’s i am 60
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Never heard Seether but like rock.