It really is unnatural and unhaelthy isn’t it ! Its my birthday tomorrow and hes not here and i already feel sad knowing hes not gonna be here to give me a kiss and make me a cuppa ;( its such an awful life now ! No bloody joy at all ! X
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Oh that is exactly the same position I am in. I’m also only 52 and planned to retire at 55 when our youngest would be heading off to uni and then we would have time for us - travel, hobbies, walking etc.
I have no purpose now except for my kids and I can’t live my life through them forever. All plans gone and scared about how to find some meaning in life now my hubbie is gone.
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Happy birthday @Deb5 - I know that probably won’t mean much but I’m so sorry you have to manage your birthday on your own.
Do you have any plans ? He would have wanted you to have a good day I’m sure, but that’s so hard when our soul mate isn’t there to share it with us.
Maybe treat yourself -or just be kind to yourself. It will be tough but lean on those who support you if you can.
Sending strength and hugs xx
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Birthdays for me are never going to be the same again. My partner Darren had a car accident on 19th Feb, i sent 30 mins with him on 20th, his last words being ‘I fucked up your birthday’ (birthday being Wed 21st Fen). My daughter took me out for breakfast, as requested by her dad! !! We arrived the hospital and he has been put in an induced coma just before we had arrived, i now wish that i had gone to the hospital straight away to see him whilst he was still awake. My birthday will never be the same again
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Thank you @roni52 that’s really kind of you 
and yeh its gonna be really hard … will try my best to enjoy something today … im just feeling sad … been feeling sad a lot recently … meeting a friend on friday for a couple of days away … c how it goes today hey ? My daughter might meet me for lunch i dunno for sure yet … will defo try do something nice today if i can xx
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Have the best birthday you can possibly have today.
I am thinking of you and sending a birthday hug,
Rose xx
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Thank you @RoseGarden seen all the people i love today … been better than i thought it would be xx
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Good.
I am so glad.
Love,
Rose xx
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I’ve thought about you today, @Deb5 , and glad that your special day went well.
Happy Birthday 
x
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Dino13
Sadly I relate but for me it is my husband I am mourning. I recently went back to work but still on a phased return. I went into the office for the first time. But coming home to an empty house was so sad. I now am sitting in bed watching TV and miss my husband so much. Even though he had cancer we still laughed every day. We just enjoyed our time together.
People say " he would’ve wanted you to carry on living" which I am doing. But it’s not the same. I feel like I am just going thru the motions. I am envious of everyone that is looking forward to holidays or even meals out. I still feel like I am part of a couple but the reality is I am counted as a “single” person now.
I am just devestated to have to live without him and my heart aches.
Thanks for your post and like you, I am glad to have this community. I don’t want to go on living without him but I am not suicidal just dealing with my grief.
X
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So sorry xx
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Paddy53
By sharing on this community today, it’s helped me cope so thanks.
X
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Yes we have to hope that we will heal in time so that we can go on living. It will never be the same but hopefully we will be able to find joy again somewhere in our lives.
Holidays were what we loved the most and we went away several times a year but I can’t face it at the moment.
See how you go in September - even to be brave enough to give it a try is moving forward I think so be proud of yourself for that. Take care xx
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Thank you . Been all over the place. My daughters this afternoon to see my new 3 month old grandson and then tonight out with a curry with my other daughter in York ! Wow ! What a day but its been fun and taken away some of my sadness . Xx
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That sounds great, I’m glad that you had a good time. I have a very good friend in Pocklington, near York, who I sometimes meet up with. Miss York, it’s beautiful.
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It is beautiful youre right … saw lots of people on bikes … 
my daughter lives in York, Fulford xx
I’m 52 ,
I know it absolutely is hell.
I am not a councillor, so you don’t have to listen lol.
however as you can’t think about the next twenty or longer years, ( I’m the same) don’t rule out meeting a new friend along the way. I said it before on here. Just like music we all have a favourite song , but others come along which are also pretty catchy. Take a risk when you are ready , let someone surprise you. Never a replacement, never ever . I prefer to think a compliment. And the grief stays the same but as they say , but you grow at an equal speed around it or even alongside it.
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Yeh i totally agree with you there ! New people come into your life and it suprises you that you can have other friendships - like you say not a replacement but a compliment ! Good way of putting it !! Xx
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I was in tears in the morning , feeling sad. My lovely dog walker friend cheered me up wnd ended being a good day. Went to one of daughters at dinnertime, called into mums, then drove to york to my daughters for a curry in evening. It was good to get out tbh xx
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