It’s now 20 months since I lost my husband,I think I’m doing all right but some days I don’t feel like doing anything.Is this part of the grief path or me just being lazy?
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I lost my husband twenty months ago too, no, your not being lazy I feel like that very often. All my energy, motivation and drive has gone, it died with him.
Sending love
Debbie X
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I have days like that too but I certainly don’t feel guilty or lazy.
It’s just my “me” days.
G. X
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No you’re not being lazy, you just need to do whatever you feel is right for you on any given day.
I’m having one of those days today…and yesterday x
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Mine is two yrs on I work full time but most days I don’t want to do anything but we have to by the time I get home do tea housework and sort my cat out I don’t have time to do anything I just sit thinking about the loss never go out to the pub anymore grief can last a long time and no we are not lazy we have a lot to carry around in our heads which can make you tired
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I work too, haven’t got the energy to do much else most days.
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I’m so sorry for your loss. I also have days when I don’t feel like doing anything. I lost my mum just a month ago and I have friends who are planning weddings and a friend who moved into a new house recently. Usually I would be all hands on deck but I do not feel like participating in anything and then I feel guilty for it but then I remember that what I’ve been through needs time of it’s own and I need to take care of my emotions
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Hi @Angela60
I have been really struggling with motivation too. It is coming up 12 months since I lost my husband to cancer/covid, he was 56. Try as I might not to give myself a hard time about being ‘lazy’ I still do. I found this article on line about how exhausting grief can be…so thought I would share in case it might help…it helped me a bit. Hopefully link works OK…please see below:
https://www.griefincommon.com/blog/grief-making-you-feel-lazy-why-it-happens-how-to-help/
Take care, be kind & gentle with yourself x
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On the don’t feel like doing anything days don’t. Stuff is still there tomorrow. I got a friends granddaughter to clean for me. Just for a few months. No not rich. Just tell I felt able to do things myself. 13 months in and I still have pj days. I just read, watch TV, and do nothing. You will find it gets easier. But the pain gets easier.
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Having “me” days are necessary to have.
Get up, wash & get dressed everyday - if that’s all you manage that day that’s ok - maybe do a little bit more another day and build on that.
I read - - one positive thought in the morning can change the rest of your day.
G. X
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Hi, glad I’m not the only one. It’s coming up to two years now since I lost my husband ( widowed twice now), and its worse this time. I too just want to burrow into bed & disappear. Don’t feel there’s any future really. I’d just love to have a heart to heart sometimes, but no-one seems interested really. Ah well, another day over!
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@BarnCat thanks for sending this link over about grief,everything that was said about lack of sleep not eating properly and lack of purpose hits the nail on the head. I seem to spend most of my time just wandering around nothing seems to matter any more.My husband was my rock we did everything together don’t think I’ll find that anymore.Just miss him. x
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@Maz1948,yer I know what your saying can’t see a future any more when Alan died part of me died with him . I wonder what will happen to me now.
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It’s early days yet. You need time to adjust.
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It is part of the grief pain, I lost Terry at Easter, in the summer months it was easy to be active all the time, it helped, but now we are heading into winter I find it hard, days are long dark, cold and lonely. If I don’t want to do anything I won’t, there is plenty of time when you are feeling stronger to fo things. Take care 
big hugs 🫂 
stay strong.
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I lost my husband March 2021. I also think I’m doing ok, but I hate. These winter dark long days,and when you are on your own the days just drag.
I sometimes feel very lazy, just don’t want to do housework, or anything much.I read a lot, do 2 hrs voluntary work every tuesday, and really enjoy it. But my energy levels are very low.I suppose grief causes these feeling of " can’t be bothered, " I’m on a very low dose of anti depressant, which really helped the first year, but not so much this year. I’m defiantly worse this year, I suppose reality sets in, so don’t feel guilty about feeling lazy, my sister was the opposite and buried herself in housework,we are all differant, be kind to yourself, grieve the way that helps you, Angela.
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Hi Angela60
I lost my husband 18 months ago and I go through the motions. I try to keep busy but there are days when, apart from walking the dog I sit and watch Netflix for hours on end, as it’s my way of coping. So no you are not being lazy it is your way of coping.
Sending love xx
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