Karie, You are not a coward far from it. I have a friend who lost her husband 3 years ago and she is the opposite of me she says she couldn’t cope if she opened the wardrobe and his things were not there, isn’t it strange how we all manage differently. We do what we have to xx
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Yes, we are all different and yet our pain is the same one that we share. x
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I’m so sorry to read about your traumatic loss. As a nurse I can’t imagine going through that with my husband. Before my husband died was being looked after on ITU by my colleagues and he went into cardiac arrest there. You’ll be experiencing PTSD as well as grief and counselling may help. Wishing you the best 
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PTSD never entered my mine but i have just looked it up and it resonates with me a lot xx
i feel lonely even when someone is with me
I do too, as all we want is our loved ones. Family are good at being with us but we know they there because of what has happened. x
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Hi Tracey1 it’s horrible feeling isn’t it loneliness I hate it I’m a people’s person and I’m best around ppl no good on my own at all xx
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Hi Alex, yes it is a terrible lost feeling. All I think about is Paul and what am I going to do the rest of my life without him? Very sad you could not say goodbye, do your own goodbye - it won’t be the same though, and he will understand and still love you. x
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Thanks Tracey he knew how much I absolutley loved adored and idolised him I’m going to do something don’t know what but I am xx
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Great! Keep in touch, here anytime to chat. x
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afternoon its been two months now since chip passed. Life isnt life any more its just existing day to day i dont know how i can do a lifetime with out him. my heart constantly aches x
Afternoon Karie sending you big hugs life will never be the same my heart breaks for you we shouldn’t b going through this heartache xx
i get so angry Alex i feel cheated i know its not just me but you understand. I feel sad for Chip because he wanted to live so badly. I long for his hugs his voice and i dont know how i can do forever like this. sometimes i still think he is coming back
Aw Karie I certainly do understand and always remember he is with you he’ll never leave you. Not making this post about me so I do apologise but I think the same I just keep thinking he’s at work he’s gone to see his children he’ll be home soon. It’s more annoying that I can’t ring him or send stupid watsap messages n stuff but never ever forget your chip is with you always. Have you been out today here I think it’s been hotter than Spain today xx
yes im at work at the moment. i feel worse when i leave the house. i feel near to chip at home. I dont know how people get through this. I dont want to live a life time with out chip. I know we all feel the same but its so hard when its happening to you. I dont understand my feelings half the time. sometimes i look at his photo and smile and wink at him and other times it just breaks my heart. I so miss his touch i talk to him all the time. I wont forget him and i hope and pray we meet again other wise whats the point a short hard life then nothing that cant be gods grand plan. I worry though if its chips soul and spirit thats goes on and he no longer has use for his body when we meet again how can i hold him and kiss him. I know im not making sense so many thoughts
We grieve for them as you say for what they have lost out on in life and what they could be doing with their families, also grieving for ourselves too and children, it’s all a mess x
It Really is Tracey. I just feel so guilty
Karie you lovely lady you have nothing to feel guilty about at all. Of course you won’t forget him that won’t happen, you do make sense I totally see where your coming from. Everyday is different some are worse than others. A song an advert anything that relates to our loved ones instantly start us off if I hear a song that he liked I turn it off can’t listen to it too upsetting xx
I was in a violent relation ship before i met Chip. The pain i feel at the moment is a million times worse then being beat everyday. forever just seems like a long time doesn’t it? x
Forever is too long, they are with us though somewhere near by, but still not good enough. I cannot put any music on as all words now have a meaning x