funny the things that frighten us i agree with the light nights just more time to miss them where as at the moment i can shut the world out and go to bed if i want i try to sleep in as much as i can so the days are shorter
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tomorrow i will be fetching chips ashes. i will be bringing him home 1st time since he took ill on the 9th feb 2020. this is not how i thought he would be coming home. I am struggling at the moment its all finally sinking in. im missing him so much. ashes thats all i have left this is so cruel. i wrote a little something its not that good but it helps.
A ghost a spirit a shimmering light,
was it you calling me in the night?,
I hope it was i wish it could be,
A voice in the wind,
whispering through the trees,
things we had planned its now too late,
i cant believe your gone my love my best mate.
emptiness fills the air.
A life without you just isnât fair.
I knew you was mine from our very first date
it was written in the stars it was all down to fate.
We shared our life together as one, living with you could be so much fun,
you made me laugh we even cried,
i now shed tears because you have died,
i can not breath when i think of you. thoughts of the things we still had to do,
I will travel this road all alone,
We had a lot of happiness so how can i moan.
I will miss you forever you are my heart
gone for now but never far apart.
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Beautiful poem Karie
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A lovely heart wrenching poem x
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How lovely you wrote those words for Chip, he would be so proud of you - be proud of yourself too. x
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Hello Karie. Well, what can one say about such a beautiful poem. It brought tears to my eyes. Itâs OK, itâs me. Thank you so much. John. XX
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Another hurdle faced today, thatâs all Colinâs clothes just been uplifted by the British heart Foundation 
upsetting but I canât bear to open the wardrobe and keep seeing things that he will never wear again. I know some people can never part with their Husbands things but I have got my head round the fact he wonât be coming back so if they benefit others itâs all good. I have had a memory bear and cusionâs made from his favourite shirts and T-shirts and they are a great comfort. If you had told me 5 months ago I would be doing this I wouldnât have believed you 
I like the idea of the memory bear and cushion and pleased to hear they bring you comfort.
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You are being strong being able to do that. I know what you mean when you open the wardrobe and are faced with all their stuff, itâs so upsetting, I wish I felt I could do that, but donât feel ready yet. I did bag a few things up but then cried and put them back again.
Thatâs a great idea having clothes made into a teddy or cushions , Iâll definitely want to do that, but my daughterâs not ready yet., so Iâll just leave it all for now.
Hope you ok.
Steph x
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Omg how beautiful, my heart just melted, so special, I definitely want to do that .
Steph x
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Thanks Steph, yes you should get someone to make them for you. The poor bear is soaked with tears most days 
but it is lovely just to hug and bring you comfort.
V xx
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Thank you Patriciann x
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must be so comforting sending a hug x
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that must have been hard for you but very brave. i havent even thought about that. i am having a pillow done out of a jumper he wore. but at the moment it can all stay as it is.
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Hi Karie, I still have Colinâs toothbrush in the holder his watch on his bedside table and his dressing gown on the back of the bedroom door so his presence is still around. It was hard packing his clothes up as every one evoked a memory but I made the decision to do it sooner rather than later. I know some people will never be able to do it and thatâs fine we are all different and handle things in our own way.
V xx
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i actually see where your coming from. It isnt healthy prolonging something thats going to cause more pain. I suppose it makes sense really. im scared of the pain im a coward i think if i ignore it then i wont get hurt xx
Really beautiful Bear and cushion. Thanks for sharing.
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