I hate seeing all the mothers day cards and gifts in the shops…I know my 2 children are going to give me cards…Tbh I don’t know if i want them…It won’t make me smile. This is my first mothers day without my mum and I’m dreading it…just wish I could hug her and take her out for a meal…its been nearly 4 months and sometimes for a split second I forget…I reach for her favourite chocolate in the shops.then reality hits…
I know that feeling i lost my mum 10 years ago this march i dread it every year at my work they have a mum and daughterspa day that hurts me a lot.all I can say is its your very first mothers day without your mum its gonna be hard as its still very raw i do believe our mums never leave us but become our guardian angels who leave us little signs to reassure us they are still there like feathers or penny’s or even a robin redbreast.
I lost my only child in November he was 33 I’m dreading mothers day as well I found last years card that he gave me so I will put that out
It’s so hard. I had a strained relationship with my Mum, but she had been a constant, and I cannot seem to rid myself of the urge to ring her … just now it’d be to compare notes on Spring bulbs coming through. And she’d shout at me for sending her cut flowers for her birthday. It’s all going to be poignant this year as my son & daughter in law have chosen Mothering Sunday as the day for our first grandchild’s christening.
I lost my mom as well Feb 2016 we wasn’t close I hadn’t seen her for 10 years so 2016 was a hard year for me
I’m dreading my first Mother’s Day without Mum too, but I spoke to my children about my feelings and they seem relieved that we’ve clarified our feelings. They want to make a gesture on the day but we’re going to then get on with the everyday things and be there for each other.
I think we have to do what feels right for us, and be as open as we can.
My thoughts will be with you.
I know that feeling so well. I lost my mum 18 months ago and I don’t feel it’s getting much easier at times like this. It still feels so unfair and I would give anything to be able to give her a gift and a hug and tell her how much I love her. I miss her so much and days like Mother’s Day I wish I could just pass by. I know I shouldn’t but I resent people who don’t appreciate their loved ones and I almost feel jealous that they still have them and I don’t.
Grief and loss is so difficult to deal with. For you it must still be so raw, just take a day at a time and don’t expect too much of yourself. Take care x
Hi Devastated. Been where you are last yr. Mum died 2wks before Mother’s Day. Wish I could say it will be ok but all ‘ok’ probably means is that you ‘cope.’ I too was dreading it and I cried most of the day. I have no children and no real family. Give yourself chance to cry on Mother’s Day. Give yourself a chance to be alone but don’t deny yourself the chance to celebrate your day too. Your children are the pinnacle of this; Let them pamper you. Just as you love your Mum, so they love you. It is the circle of life. Your Mum lives on in you and your children. Mother’s Day will be just one milestone to reach and pass in your journey, but you will pass it and survive. Breathe, try to smile and allow yourself to feel special. Your Mum would want this.
I know how you feel seeing all the cards in the shops; I’m already dreading seeing all the social media updates next weekend and wish i could avoid it all. It’s been just over four months since my mum died and it doesn’t feel real still. I like to think she is watching over me, i know i will never stop missing her and it’s just something I’ll have to learn to live with eventually. I also run through the ways I’d like to celebrate with her, going for a meal, sending her flowers, choosing a nice card. I’d love to be able to give her a big hug and thank her for all the things she’s done for me and to say sorry for the pain she had to suffer at the end.i just hope that wherever she is, she knows how much she is loved and missed.
Hi I so understand how ur feeling. I lost my mum Dec 6th last year and it’s also my first Mothers Day without her. There are 4 of us and I wish I lived closer to them all im three hours away. We do all talk to each other regularly but I so so miss talking to mum I used to talk lots to her on the phone as im the only one who lives away. I keep thinking ’ oh I must tell mum this… Oh I must tell mum that. I’m always go to pick up the phone and then I suddenly realise! So many of us are going to really feel Mothers Day it’s going to be raw, yes we all have happy memories of our mums but there will be done tears. I also lost my son 21 yrs ago my only child. So ive seen Mothers Day from a different angle.
Devastated…exactly how I feel. I lost my lovely Mum just three weeks ago. I am dreading mothers day, the cards were in the shops when she was in hospital. My brother had already bought one which went in her coffin last week. I still can’t believe she’s gone from our lives. Such a short illness, 13 days after being admitted to hospital. This sucks!
I know just how you are feeling , this is also going to be my 1st without mom , they say the 1st are the worst , i have already done 1st xmas my 1st birthday and moms 1st birthday , im having bereavment counselling and have scheduled them to all coincide with my 1st , the last 2 sessions to coincide with the 1st anniversary of moms passing , maybe you should look into getting counselling for yourself , as like me it gives you the chance to cry and talk as much as you want , i felt i was constantly talking about mom & crying to my girls but didnt want to keep putting them through that tho i know they dont mind . This year is my daughters 1st mothers day , i asked her if she was looking forward to it , her reply so touched my heart , she said no mom as with the birth of elsie losing her nan as tainted the joy and that because its my 1st mothers day without mom shes worried about me , our moms wouldnt want us to feel like this , we need to try and celebrate us being moms ourself as that is what our moms would want , big hugz sent your way xxx
Mother’s Day, and all the ‘first’ anniversaries after my mum died, were awful. I bawled at least once EVERY day for the first 9 months or so…everything felt as though it was pointless without her around. It does eventually get less raw.
I found going through poems / quotes about grief to find those that resonated with me to be cathartic - gave ‘substance’ to my feelings, made me realise that I wasn’t alone in my pain at the loss of my mum. This piece stuck out for me…I hope it helps you.
I’m feeling exactly he same. I lost mum very suddenly in October - 3 days after I had my first baby.
I know my boyfriend will pull out all the stops to make my first mothers days special but I just want to stay under the duvet all day and not face the world.
I’m staying off social media next weekend. I can’t bear to see everyone’s happy posts.
My opinion is that these ‘named’ days are okay until we are hit by loss when all they do is cause sadness. The first Mothers Day after I lost my mum, I tried to distance myself. I miss my mum every day and when it is highlighted, it has the same affect as when someone moans about their mums after you have lost yours. I used the mantra “this too shall pass” and it worked. Monday came and Mothers Day was another year away. These days are great when they work but I look on them as just a commercial event now. So whenever it gets tough, I tell myself this too shall pass and it does.
Thank you everyone for such kind words…I’ve been really sad these last few weeks I think it’s because of mothers day or is it because I’m missing my mum more as the days go by and reality is hitting me. I can’t stand seeing the cards and gifts in the shops. .its not going to be a easy day for a lot of us…Not just us who have lost our darling mums…But the mums who have lost their darling children. …big hugs to you all xxxx
I’m so sorry to hear of your total devastation just now and I know exactly how you feel. It is little consolation but hope it helps a bit to know that others know how you feel and are thinking of you. it’s nearly two months since my darling mum passed away and the feelings are still very raw. I get occasional respite where I am am able to get in touch with her lovely and comforting self. Mothers day is hard. It will pass. If it helps find something meaningful and pleasant to do for yourself. Go somewhere nice with someone you love or find another way to get through. I wish you well.
I will be celebrating my Mum and her life next Sunday on Mothering Sunday. I intend buying flowers as I always did for her. They will be there to remind me of her and the love we shared. The day will be incredibly hard but as Christina says it will pass.
My flowers will also be celebrating everyone else’s Mums on this site.
Hugs to you Mercedestar . It takes some getting use to not having a mum…I think it’s something we will never get over but hopefully learn to live with. .its still very early days for you…But seeing mothers day things in the shops and adverts on TV breaks my heart x
Thank you Mel that’s lovely… I hope I can do.the same. But to.be honest I don’t think I will be able to x